Preparing Our Hearts for Worship

"Prepare your hearts for worship…"

I've heard that phrase on so many Sundays. It always ended with "…as we sing this song" or "…with a moment of prayer."

But I have found that it takes MUCH more than a song and a moment of quiet to prepare my heart on a Sunday morning. On a good day, my mind is full of family and church matters and to-do lists. On a bad day, I'm envying someone's hair, disagreeing about the choice of a song, or getting annoyed because a cell phone goes off.

I need to be honest with myself. I know that little things are constantly competing for my attention (and I give it to them); angry feelings towards my spouse, my children, or another member of the church can also hinder worship. I can't expect to show up in the sanctuary, out of breath, my thoughts in a muddle, and be ready to worship after saying a quick prayer and singing a song or two. And besides, God does not want our "worship" to be a few songs, a few prayers, a few handshakes, and a few minutes sitting in a chair or pew on a Sunday morning. Worship involves our whole mind, body, heart, and soul. This will take some effort on my part.

So, to really prepare my heart for worship, I have an action plan.

Prepare the night before:

1) Make as much of Sunday's breakfast on Saturday night, or at least put the cereal, bowls, and spoons on the table. This eliminates stress as I am trying to get everyone out the door on time.

2) Choose clothes on Saturday night.

3) Don't stay up too late.

4) Pray for the church body and our time together. I try to pray specifically for people I don't tend to see during the week. If they are newer people, I ask God for a chance to talk to them. If they are people who need encouragement, I ask God to show me how best to encourage them.

5) If possible, ask for the Bible passage the week before. Read through it several times before Sunday.

Know my weaknesses:

1) Sit near the front when I can to avoid getting distracted by people.

2) Quickly jot down my to-do list for the day or week to get it off my mind.

3) Bring a notebook and pen for doodling or note-taking while I listen. Or take notes in my Bible (yes, it's okay!)

4) Put away physical distractions (for most people today, this would be their cell phone).

5) If I become habitually critical of people (the way they dress, the way they sing, etc.) or an aspect of the service (too many hymns, drums are too loud, etc.) I pray beforehand and ask God to remove the criticism and replace it with gratitude.

6) Keep a bag of quiet activities for the kids in my car so I will always have it on hand in case my children are sitting with me. Also, I talk to my children about what they can expect during a worship service. I tell them that they are participants too, not just tag-alongs. (Bring paper and pencils and ask them to draw the sermon as they listen. You will be surprised at how much they pick up!)

And when I find that something between me and a brother or sister in Christ is hindering me from worship:

1) I excuse myself from the room and find a quiet place to pray.

2) I talk to the other person, even if it means pulling him/her out of the service too. Once God has brought the problem to light, I don't wait to confess and ask for forgiveness or to work through a problem. (So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. ~Matthew 5:23-24)


I challenge you to check your "Sunday morning" health level this week. See how often you catch yourself thinking, "Where should we go for lunch?" or "Why is she wearing that?" during the church service. You too may need an action plan to prepare your heart for worship. Feel free to use mine, or if you have ideas and suggestions to share, please do!

"Do You Know How Much I Love You?"

I am not a hugger. But I want to hug my children more. So, I devised a plan. 

Every night, instead of giving each child a peck on the cheek and a quick, "I love you", I now take the time to ask,

"Do you know how much I love you?"

Then after the child asks "How much?", I say, "This much!" and I wrap my arms around my child and give him or her a tight squeeze.

The biggest surprise for me is that my new bedtime routine has taken off with my middle son. After I squeeze the breath out of him, he always pauses, thinks, then answers with, "Hmmm… that half-way counts" or "Ummm… that kind-of counts". Then I have to squeeze him again, faking the strain of hugging him so tight that my muscles want to burst. 

He almost always still says, "Kind-of, Mom."

But then, it's HIS turn. "Do you how much I love YOU?"

"How much?" I ask.

"This much!" he replies. And he wraps his skinny arms around me and hugs me as hard as his little body allows him. Then he kisses me. So sweet.

And this is my rough-around-the-edges boy. My boy who knows how to push all my buttons. My boy who will argue with me over ANYTHING, just for the sake of arguing.

Now every night– no matter how many times I had to discipline during the day– every night, he wants to show me how much he loves me.

And when he tells me that my hug is "half-way", I have an answer for him. I say,

"It's because I love you SO MUCH that I can't show you how much I love you. I can only show you half of it."

"Really?" he asks with a skeptical, side-ways look.

"Really," I answer as convincingly as I can.

It may be years, even decades before my son is able to fully grasp his mother's love for him. In the meantime, I'll just have to keep squeezing him with all my might.

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I was going to end my post there, but I felt that I had to add this:

When God shows us how much He loves us, don't we sometimes tell Him, "Ummm… that kind-of counts, God"? Maybe we had our eyes set on something and God didn't give it to us, maybe we're experiencing too much pain at the time, maybe we just can't see the bigger picture… yet. It may be years, or even decades, before we are able to grasp just how much God loves us.

Culture ≠ Standard

Three nights ago, I dreamed that I was sitting in church, watching as people gathered for the beginning of the service. For some reason, there were children sitting together, apart from their parents, in the back corner of the room. As more parents arrived with their children, they saw the separation and they too left their children in the back of the room and went to sit elsewhere. I awoke with a strange feeling in my chest.

While my dream self was worried about the children sitting alone ("What if they start getting rowdy?"), the thought that bothered me the most when I awoke was, "Did the parents just assume that they should do what they see a few other parents doing?"

It is true that when people are in doubt, they take cues from other people. They do what they see others do, without always asking why. In the book Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion, psychologist Robert Cialdini discusses a principle called 'social proof' and describes a study in which a person stands on a city sidewalk and looks up at the sky. Soon, other people stop and look too, though no one knows what they are really looking at (which was basically nothing).

Harmless enough when it is a matter of making a few people look foolish and wasting a few minutes of their time, but what about parenting situations, like in my dream? Is it enough for parents to say, "My neighbor lets his kids do that, so it's okay"? Or for children to tell their parents, "Everyone else in my class has one!"? How about "Kids on TV and in movies do it"? Media portrays teens (and pre-teens) as tech-savvy, iPhone-wielding, sex-hungry, street-wise rebels. And parents start going along with it.

Keep in mind also that when we talk about culture, this includes church/Christian culture. My dream is another great example of this. We should be asking ourselves, "Why are the children sitting apart from their parents during a worship service?" Is it because that's the way it's "always been"? Other questions to ask are: Does my church tend to function on practicality, popular vote and expectations, or tradition? Is the Bible the filter for all major decisions?

Culture is ever changing and dependent on time, place, and people. Don't fall into the trap of using the cultural norm as your standard of parenting (or living). Remember that if you do, you are basing your life on other people's opinions, not on God's word. Hold fast to the only standard that is based on truth, love, and hope, and when in doubt, say, "I'm not sure, let me check on that," and turn to the Bible for wisdom and guidance.

New Year's Resolution

It's funny how our parents are always "old" in our minds. I have to remind myself that I knew the 30-some-years-old versions of my parents once, that it really wasn't that long ago that they were young parents, just like me. There was a time when they were more carefree and energetic, before the solemnity of life wore them down.

But I still have a difficult time picturing my mom as a thirty-seven year old. And I don't have very many memories of my parents laughing– really, truly, tears-stream-down laughing. That's why I like this photo. My dad is the one wearing the ivory shirt and beige slacks playing tug-of-war. My mom is watching from the sidelines with my little brother. We were at a camp retreat with our church, and the younger people must have talked my dad into showing off his muscles. Judging from the age of my brother, my mom is just about my current age at the time of this photo. And the smiles on my parents' faces are contagious! You can hear my mom's laughter as you study this picture. She's always had a beautiful smile. As does my dad.

I wish I have more pictures like this one. Even more, I wish I have more memories like this one. Which leads me to my resolution for this year: laugh more with my children and don't shy away from the camera. I want to give my children opportunities to remember their young, laughing mom.

(First published online as 'My Parents at My Age' in Camera Words)