Uncharted Territory

I have yet to read Corrie ten Boom's amazing story in her book The Hiding Place, but I am familiar with this one passage.

"And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is [sex]?"

He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing.

At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case off the floor and set it on the floor.

"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.

I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.

"It's too heavy," I said.

"Yes," he said, "and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."

I love this short scene. It gives me a very clear image of how I am to train my children and to make daily decisions concerning their growth. Previewing books and movies, home schooling, choosing clothes… all of this goes into the 'heavy luggage' that I have been carrying for my children for the past twelve years.

And now, my husband and I are entering the phase of training our children to carry some of that 'luggage'. Our oldest child just turned twelve, and we plan to sit with him next week and teach him about the changes that will happen in the next few years. But we won't just have 'the talk' and leave it at that. That would be throwing the luggage at my son without giving him a reason. We've outlined five 'conversations' to start the process of passing on the 'luggage'. The talks are about our roles as parents, how God designed children to grow into men and women, how the world has abused the gift of sex, how to respect ourselves (modesty) and others (no jokes on this topic), and how to cultivate godly relationships with people of the opposite gender. We hope that this will not only give our son knowledge, but also the wisdom to know what to do with that knowledge.

This is uncharted territory for my husband and me. I admit I'm a little scared. We will be the first ones to trample down the grasses and mark a new path with our son.

But I would rather be the one paving the new road than to see my son following paths that others have already made. And we will encourage our son to walk this new path often with us, meaning, he can feel free to come to us with any questions he has. We pray that these initial conversations will be the foundation for many more conversations over the next few transitional years. And with each conversation, my son will carry a little more 'luggage', until the day he is a man and can carry all of it.