Friday, February 24, 2017

"Can you take it away?"

Hi everyone! 

I want to gently nudge you to check out my new book. Just click on the picture of the book on the right. It's only $5, but only until the end on March!

And so you get a taste, here is another one of my favorite chapters from the book!

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Ah, siblings. What would we do without them? (which is a rhetorical question, by the way. Don’t answer that.) 
Yes, there is the bickering. (five kids = five opinions. We can spend twenty minutes discussing which video to watch as a family, and guaranteed someone will be unhappy with our choice.) 
Then there is the teasing. (Says Tadhg to Naomi, “You’re Baby Jesus!” Naomi yells back, “I am not Baby Jesus!”) 
And then, there is the hitting, the kicking, the grabbing, the biting, the bopping.... oh, some days seem so long. 
But there is no sight or sound like that of my children laughing together (even though sometimes it happens during dinner, and for some reason unknown to me, the children cannot stop laughing, and then one falls off the chair to the floor, and another spits out food, and then the younger ones decide to do the same and fall to the floor while spitting out food...) 
Ahem. Back to siblings.
When Tadhg was three, he was playing on the floor when he asked me, “Can you take it away?” 
I glanced about to see what he was referring to. 
“What, the book?” I asked. 
“No... Naomi,” he replied. 
I let little moments like that go. And besides, I know how crowded it can feel sometimes in a house with six other people. (believe me, I know!) 
But when things become heated and I sense a child’s resentment towards a sibling growing, I take the time to share with them a little truth. 
“They are your only siblings. Take care of them, and you will always have someone to play with.” 
And of course, I am thinking ahead to the years when they will be young adults in college, young marrieds with babies, or middle-aged adults hosting a great, big, wonderful family reunion with all their children running amuck and having a blast. I am thinking of the friendships that can last a lifetime, if cultivated properly. 
My goal is to convey to my children how special family is. It is God’s design, and God’s design is never to be taken for granted. He could have made people be born from cabbages (shows you what era I grew up in). He could have made people to be like mice, born in large litters and quick to be on their own. Or He could have made people to be more like turtles, left by their mother to fend for themselves. But God very intentionally created people to grow inside their mother (so intimate!), to be born small and weak (so dependent!), and to need many years of nurturing from a father and a mother (so unique!). 
I believe God gave us siblings to reflect His own family– the Church. We can’t choose who is in our family. There may be differing personalities and differing talents, but we are still a family. This is the same in the Church. Our brothers and sisters in Christ may not laugh at our jokes, or share the same economical background, or agree on which translation of the Bible to use, but we are still family. 
My children will not understand this for some time. All they know at this point is that a sibling is generally a good thing to have, but when you don’t want them, they don’t magically disappear. Or in Tadhg’s case... 
Dad: No, Tadhg, we don’t vacuum sisters.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

A Note in a Book

(If you visit a coffee shop called 'Inklings' in downtown Pleasanton, you will find a sitting room to the right of the main bar area. In that room, you will find shelves lined with books, and among those books, one that is orange-bound with no words on the spine. Open the book to the page dated 2/19/2017, and you will read something like this…)


The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…

And yet, I often find myself looking for more.

"I want…"
"If only I had…"
"I need just one more…"
"But I deserve…"
"I wish…"

I get what I want, but I find myself still hungry, still thirsty, still unsatisfied…

Lord, only You, who created me and the hole in my soul, know what I need. Lord, only You can satisfy me.

Lord, You are my shepherd, I shall not want

~Rita


Saturday, February 18, 2017

No Sorrow






This line is a lyric from the hymn 'Come, Ye Desolate', 
by Thomas Moore (lyrics) and Samuel Webbe (music).




Sunday, February 12, 2017

Everyday Valentines

No need to wait until Valentine's Day to express your love and appreciation, and no need to limit your celebration to one day a year! If marriage was a garden, then expressions of love and appreciation are the sunshine!

So to be sure that your 'garden' is getting enough sun everyday, try these:

-leave little notes in your spouse's Bible, the car, in the underwear drawer, under the pillow

-write a message on the mirror (use chalk markers or dry erase markers)

-start a 'love note' notebook. You start by writing a letter to your spouse, ending your letter with the instructions for your spouse to write back to you. Then leave the book in a place where he/she can find it. 

-send a random love e-mail

-kiss in front of the kids

-compliment your spouse in front of the kids

-say 'thank you' for something you normally don't say 'thank you' for

-volunteer to do a chore that your spouse usually does (even better, do it while your spouse is away and surprise him/her!)

Monday, February 6, 2017

My Love Practice

A doctor has a medical practice.

A lawyer has a law practice.

A dentist has a dental practice.

I used to wonder, why do we say that these people are 'practicing' when they've studied for years?

Then I realized it's because doctors, lawyers, and dentists must make use of their knowledge by 'practicing' on people. Just knowing the information isn't enough.  On top of that, they must always be learning in order to keep up with new advances and changes in their field, and so they are continually perfecting their craft.

With this in mind, I have now what I call my 'love practice.'

My #1 job as Mrs. Baird is to learn about my husband and to demonstrate that knowledge through acts of love. I tell people I want to be the 'World's Leading Expert' on my husband, to know what makes him happy or angry, how he likes his eggs cooked, and what he needs to recharge at the end of the day.

And this learning is never done! When we were courting and engaged, I was learning how best to love the 26-year-old art teacher I was going to marry. My husband is now nearly 41, a father of seven, and a pastor. He has changed and grown in many ways over these past fifteen years! If I still love him as if he was a 26-year-old man, I would not be loving him in the best way possible.

Writer and theologian Lewis Smedes wrote,

When I married my wife, I had hardly a smidgen of sense for what I was getting into with her. How could I know how much she would change over 25 years? How could I know how much I would change? My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed–and each of the five has been me.

My husband is not the only client of my 'love practice'! I know which of my daughters loves stripes and which daughter loves bright colors. I know which son needs extra nudging and which needs a gentle tug on his reigns. And as they grow, they change. Will this girl always love stripes? Will this boy always need nudging? Maybe, and maybe not. I need to keep studying and researching so that my love can grow just as my children do.

And how do I do this? It's easy!

1) Observe
This seems obvious, but we are easily distracted. And honestly, we can be very self-centered. So being intentional about watching (and taking mental notes) is a crucial part of the 'love practice'.

2) Ask questions
This is important for clarifying and getting information that cannot be observed. My husband and I like to have questions prepared for a date night. Good questions are: What are your dreams and goals? What are you proud of? What are you afraid of? What is God teaching you? And don't feel shy or embarrassed if you need to ask your spouse something that you feel like you should already know! We are not mind readers.

3) Pay attention
Be present when you are around that person. Listen when the person is talking about something that is important to him/her. The person is sharing a part of him/herself with you!

4) Do things together
You can't practice your love if you aren't doing things together! For extra 'love practice', choose an activity that the other person enjoys, though it may not be your favorite.

When my husband and I got married, my favorite color was blue. One day, after several years of marriage, my husband jokingly asked me, "Is your favorite color still blue?"

"No," I said with a sneaky smile. "Now it's purple."

He was caught off guard! But he learned his lesson, and so did I. He'll tell people this story now, and always end with, "Is your favorite color still purple?"

So far it is!