Simple Gestures

I realize now how idealistic I sounded in my post 'To Serve Each Other'. Truly, I long for a world where no one is left wanting for food or love, and not because circumstances are always perfect, but because God's people are caring. But I'm not here to add another obligation on your long to-do list. I know that those taking care of children, elderly parents, or sick loved ones are already serving all day. There are days and weeks (and months!) that are completely draining. 

And yet, I don't think it's asking too much to change our mind-set. Living the life that God intended for us does not mean looking forward to church services because we will get an hour reprieve from our 'obliglations'. Living in the Kingdom is not about our happiness, but about the joy that God gives us when we serve others, and allow others to serve us. 

This post is mostly for parents of young children. If you are one, and feeling discouraged because your heart wants to serve, but your hands feel tied, here is a little article I wrote in 2011, titled 'Simple Gestures'.

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Two summers ago, my husband and I volunteered for our church’s ‘Senior Work Day’, a Saturday when people go out in groups to do service projects for local seniors. Because we had three children under the age of six, the coordinator of the workday assigned us to the home of Ed and Jean. The project there was simple: Ed had requested help moving some gravel in his yard. His wish was to plant a vegetable garden, so his wife could have fresh vegetables to eat. Though I was seven months pregnant at the time, I was excited to hear about this project and determined to help out any way I could. 

We arrived at Ed and Jean’s home with buckets, gloves, and shovels, ready to work. The children were so happy to have an excuse to dig and play with rocks! While they and the other adults shoveled the gravel, I busied myself by pulling weeds. We worked steadily for an hour, but with the summer sun climbing and the temperature creeping up to one hundred, I needed to stop and rest. Frustrated that I could not help as much as I would like, I sat and watched my husband and the others work diligently to finish the job. That was when Ed came over and sat by me.

He started telling me his story, and I quickly realized that I was talking with a remarkable man. Ed is a loving husband, the sole caregiver of his wife, who has Alzheimer’s. They had met during World War II, and have been married for more than sixty years. After talking for about half an hour, Ed asked if I would like to bring the children inside to meet Jean. I responded with a joyful ‘Yes!’

Ed introduced us to a beautiful, smiling woman with flowing gray hair. Jean’s eyes lit up at the sight of the children, and she nodded as her husband explained what we were doing in the backyard. Although it was difficult to have long conversations with Jean, none of us felt that the time with her was wasted. In truth, what we did in the house became more important than what we did outside in the yard.

Since our first meeting, my family has visited Ed and Jean multiple times. Now, instead of pulling weeds or washing windows, we just sit and chat. Ed and Jean love to watch the children play and hear their laughter. One visit was extra special for them because I brought my month-old son, and they had the pleasure of holding a tiny baby once again. I myself have grown to cherish Ed and Jean. Ed takes care of Jean and all her medical needs with a tender and patient heart. My husband and I know that we are witnesses of true love in action. We have been touched by them as much as they have been touched by us. In giving a little, we have received so much more in return.

Sometimes I feel like I can't do much to help my community. I see needs and wish I had the time and abilities to meet them all. But I remember Jesus's words in Matthew 25:40, "...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters o f mine, you did for me." A simple gesture of appreciation, an hour of time given, a little love shared... these can touch people, myself included, in the most unexpected ways, and reach deeper and farther that I ever know. 

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In the years since, I have visited Jean in an assisted living home, sat with Ed at Jean's funeral, and had Ed over to my house for his birthday and Easter. He's held not only my fourth child, but also my fifth. Every time he sees me, he laughs and talks about how our friendship started, four years ago. I laugh too, because I too would have never expected this friendship, or the joy I have gained from it.

God can use us, no matter what our circumstance, our talents, our energy level. He sees the gift, not the size of the gift. And as parents, we hold a unique gift. Children overflow with joy and beauty, and there are many people in the world who need a little more joy and beauty in their lives. It can be as simple as chatting with a person while your child hides behind your legs. Or if your child is a natural performer, let him/her perform! Teach them to be comfortable shaking hands and chatting with an elderly person. By doing so, you are also teaching them that they can make a difference in the Kingdom, and that it is important to love people despite age differences.


*Note: As part of our homeschooling, my children and I often visit an assisted living home to sing a few songs. If you would like to visit the elderly, it is easiest if you know someone living there, or contact their office and arrange a time to go with a group (MOPS, for example) and have a program of some sort. Some towns have an adopt-a-grandparent program, or a board in their senior center where seniors needing assistance (yard work, etc.) can post their names. And if your town doesn't have any programs like these, maybe you can start one through your church!