Ever since the birth of my first daughter, I've been rehearsing conversations in my head of what I want to say someday to my little girl. And now that I have three little girls, and the oldest is getting closer everyday to becoming a teenager, those conversations are becoming a reality. We haven't had super-deep discussions yet, but there has been times when one of my girls would watch me put on make-up and I would tell her, "Someday, I will teach you." And that's the easy stuff, just the tip of the iceberg of what I need to talk to her about inner and outer beauty, dating and courting, homemaking and career... all the complications of being a Godly woman in an ungodly world.
It's a bit daunting, isn't it?
How I wish I have a model to fall back on. My own mother was caring and supportive to a degree, but mostly hands-off and silent about life lessons. As a pastor's daughter and typical 'good kid', everyone assumed I was in good hands. But there I was in high school and college, naive and in a fog, learning what I needed to know from magazines, books, peers, and television. By the grace of God, I didn't end up in a different place in my life. And by the grace of God, He sent me mentors in my twenties.
But I don't want that to happen to my daughters. There is no need for them to make the same mistakes I made (if I can help it) and what I teach them can save them from much heart break. During these past few years, I've been watching my female friends and their interactions with their moms. When I witness a beautiful, healthy, Godly mother/daughter relationship, I make it a point to ask that friend questions like "What do you two talk about?" "How involved was your mom in your life growing up?" "What is the most important thing you've learned or gained from your mom?"
And it was during one of these conversations that I heard about the book Girl Talk, by mother-daughter team Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre. This book was exactly what I was looking for. Using Titus 2 as its basis, this book stresses the why and how of training and teaching daughters in Biblical living. It is uniquely designed to be read with your daughter, and each chapter to be discussed thoroughly, so that communication between mother and daughter is open and honest and clear. Of course, some of the topics are more suited for teenage daughters, but there are chapters that help all moms turn their minds and hearts toward teaching their little girls, no matter what age. And Moms, it doesn't hurt to start thinking now about the social issues our daughters have to face.
The following quote from the book is lengthy, but sums up the task of us moms today.
It's a bit daunting, isn't it?
How I wish I have a model to fall back on. My own mother was caring and supportive to a degree, but mostly hands-off and silent about life lessons. As a pastor's daughter and typical 'good kid', everyone assumed I was in good hands. But there I was in high school and college, naive and in a fog, learning what I needed to know from magazines, books, peers, and television. By the grace of God, I didn't end up in a different place in my life. And by the grace of God, He sent me mentors in my twenties.
But I don't want that to happen to my daughters. There is no need for them to make the same mistakes I made (if I can help it) and what I teach them can save them from much heart break. During these past few years, I've been watching my female friends and their interactions with their moms. When I witness a beautiful, healthy, Godly mother/daughter relationship, I make it a point to ask that friend questions like "What do you two talk about?" "How involved was your mom in your life growing up?" "What is the most important thing you've learned or gained from your mom?"
And it was during one of these conversations that I heard about the book Girl Talk, by mother-daughter team Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre. This book was exactly what I was looking for. Using Titus 2 as its basis, this book stresses the why and how of training and teaching daughters in Biblical living. It is uniquely designed to be read with your daughter, and each chapter to be discussed thoroughly, so that communication between mother and daughter is open and honest and clear. Of course, some of the topics are more suited for teenage daughters, but there are chapters that help all moms turn their minds and hearts toward teaching their little girls, no matter what age. And Moms, it doesn't hurt to start thinking now about the social issues our daughters have to face.
The following quote from the book is lengthy, but sums up the task of us moms today.
[The world wants] to silence the language of biblical womanhood forever. Their attacks are both brazen and subtle. While openly mocking our God-given language, they dress up their ungodly language as harmless, fun, and satisfying.
"Experts" tear down the mother-daughter relationship by implying that Mom is irrelevant and out of touch. They put forth peers and other counselors as more reliable sources of guidance and friendship.
Television, movies, and music promote promiscuity and immorality with tantalizing images and words. Condoms are freely distributed to young people. The message: Sex before marriage is normal; purity is impossible.
Magazines laud idleness, gossip, and vanity. "Learn a juicy secret;" "Indulge yourself;" "Follow your dreams," they prattle. Selflessness and good works get in the way of their agenda.
Authors blur and confuse the differences between men and women. They insist that a girl can do whatever a guy does and that our biological differences are irrelevant. Thus, femininity is emptied of its purpose and meaning.
The educational system prepares a young woman for every career except homemaking. Full-time wives and mothers are looked down upon as lazy underachievers. Honor and recognition are reserved for those who leave family responsibilities behind.
The beautiful model with her makeup, clothing, and jewelry proclaims that physical beauty is supreme. There is no praise for the gentle and quiet spirit.
Retail stores lay out a plethora of tight and skimpy clothing. The way to get attention, they promise, is to show off more skin. Modesty is portrayed as unattractive and pointless.
In all they say and do, there is no fear of God before their eyes.
The result is that for many young girls today, the language of biblical womanhood holds little appeal. The future of girl talk hangs in the balance.
If you are a mother and you have a daughter, I highly recommend this book, or talking to women you respect about how they've been mentored. If you've never been mentored yourself, find an older Christian woman (meaning not necessarily older in age, but older as a Christian) and ask her to meet with you. And if you don't have a daughter, you can still pass on your Biblical knowledge by finding a young woman in your church to mentor. Take the first step in obedience, and start walking with someone in the way she should go!
If you are a mother and you have a daughter, I highly recommend this book, or talking to women you respect about how they've been mentored. If you've never been mentored yourself, find an older Christian woman (meaning not necessarily older in age, but older as a Christian) and ask her to meet with you. And if you don't have a daughter, you can still pass on your Biblical knowledge by finding a young woman in your church to mentor. Take the first step in obedience, and start walking with someone in the way she should go!
I thank God for the mentors He placed in my life too! I don't want to even think where I'd be without them. I'm a product of time with them and MOPS. ^_^ I've read "Girl Talk" -- excellent book that I should reread soon since it was a few years ago that I opened it up.
ReplyDelete