Beyond Dollars and Cents

Growing up, we never had much money. My father's salary as a pastor and the money my mother earned through cleaning and nannying just barely covered our needs. If I asked for anything, it was usually considered extravagant. We had to count every penny, because every penny counted.

But there were times when I asked my parents to drive me somewhere. Or times when I wanted to visit a friend. And even those requests were considered extravegent because of the cost of gas. Though I understood then the importance of being thrifty, I see now that some things cannot be counted monetarily. Somewhere along the way, in being extra careful with their spending, my parents forgot that some things are worth MORE than the cost of gas or the hours you spend on the road. Driving thirty minutes to drop off a meal is worth it if you can help a person in need. Driving several hours to support a friend is an investment made. Taking a road trip to attend a wedding shows sacrifice. In exchange for the money spent, you are cultivating a relationship, something that has far greater value than money. With regret, I admit that my relationships with my friends and my parents would have benefited from knowing this.

Some friends visited us this past week, an older couple whose home-schooled children are now all grown. As we sat around the table after breakfast, the couple shared with us a system of chores that worked in their family: for every family chore completed, the child received a payment. It could be a quarter for loading the dishwasher, or a dollar for vacuuming the entire house. The child must complete at least three a day, and after a few years, he/she will have enough money to start paying for his/her own clothes, trips, toys, etc. (and the house is cleaner too!)

While my husband and I agreed that work ethic is good, and tithing and money management are also good (of course), we disagreed that every chore should be rewarded with payment. After all, what does it mean to be a part of a family? Participating in chores with no expectation of money is more important than fairness or wages. Learning to serve with a sacrificial heart is a greater lesson learned.

And these were the thoughts that passed through my mind this morning as I attended a piano recital in which none of my children performed. Nor were we related to any of the performers. I made the extra drive and sat for nearly two hours with a squirmy baby because my children's best friends were playing. These are the children I want hanging out in my house when they are older. They are the teenagers I want asking me for godly advice.  

So even if I had paid a hundred dollars for gas and another hundred for tickets, it would still not equal seeing my children grow up with boys and girls whom they can call lifelong friends. I considered today an investment in something that goes far beyond today, and far, far beyond dollars and cents.