After writing about respect for husbands a few weeks ago, I realized too late that I had left the subject unfinished. Even as I picked up my husband's pajamas off the floor today, I recognized how easy it was to slip into a feeling of contempt.
If after reading the list from my previous post you thought, "This Rita Baird is not realistic! How can I respect the MAN when I can't respect his HABITS or CHOICES?" I am in agreement with you. Respect must be earned; otherwise, is it really respect? But I also fall back on my argument that respect and disrespect are positions one take in a relationship. When you respect someone, you think of him/her as being your equal or superior. When you disrespect someone, you see him/her as being below you.
So, what does this have to do with your husband's habits or choices?
God's design is that husbands and wives complement each other, filling each other's gaps. But while we may be better than our spouses in one arena, we are not better in another. It is most important for spouses to always remember this:
We are all flawed.
Each of us make choices at times that are selfish, unwise, or even harmful to others. We all fall. When we fully comprehend that we ourselves are in a lowly position, we will find it easier to respect our spouses. Romans 12:3 says,
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Similarly, Philippians 2:3 tells us,
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Paul may be addressing the churches in Rome and Philippi in these letters, but this truth from God's Word applies to our marriages too.
Which leads me to another practical suggestion.
When you read a passage from the epistles (the books of the Bible starting from Romans and ending with Jude) that gives a command for how to treat your neighbor or fellow brother or sister in Christ, apply it to your marriage. Wisdom in how to keep peace and love within the Body of Christ can also help us keep unity and love in our marriage! Here's an example using one of my favorite passages, Colossians 2:12-17:
Put on then [in your marriage], as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with [your spouse] and, if one has a complaint against [your spouse], forgiving [your spouse], as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds [your marriage] in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one [marriage]. And be thankful [for your spouse]. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing [your spouse] in all wisdom, singing psalms and humans and spirituals songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do [in your marriage], in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, give thanks to God the Father through him.
I inserted "in your marriage" and "your spouse" in various places to give you a better idea of how these verses can shine a whole new light on your marriage. So often, a wife or husband forgets that "loving your neighbor" includes his/her spouse–the closest neighbor anyone can have!
And so, if you are praying for God to restore your marriage and renew your respect for your spouse, try reading through the epistles. Even better, memorize some passages. Or write them on index cards and tape them on your mirror or in your kitchen. Keep God's Word at the forefront of your heart and mind, and you will see a transformation–not in your spouse, but in you.
Here are more passages to get you started:
Romans 12:9-12
Galatians 5:13-15
Ephesians 4:1-5
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
Philippians 2:1-5
I Peter 4:8-11
If after reading the list from my previous post you thought, "This Rita Baird is not realistic! How can I respect the MAN when I can't respect his HABITS or CHOICES?" I am in agreement with you. Respect must be earned; otherwise, is it really respect? But I also fall back on my argument that respect and disrespect are positions one take in a relationship. When you respect someone, you think of him/her as being your equal or superior. When you disrespect someone, you see him/her as being below you.
So, what does this have to do with your husband's habits or choices?
God's design is that husbands and wives complement each other, filling each other's gaps. But while we may be better than our spouses in one arena, we are not better in another. It is most important for spouses to always remember this:
We are all flawed.
Each of us make choices at times that are selfish, unwise, or even harmful to others. We all fall. When we fully comprehend that we ourselves are in a lowly position, we will find it easier to respect our spouses. Romans 12:3 says,
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Similarly, Philippians 2:3 tells us,
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Paul may be addressing the churches in Rome and Philippi in these letters, but this truth from God's Word applies to our marriages too.
Which leads me to another practical suggestion.
When you read a passage from the epistles (the books of the Bible starting from Romans and ending with Jude) that gives a command for how to treat your neighbor or fellow brother or sister in Christ, apply it to your marriage. Wisdom in how to keep peace and love within the Body of Christ can also help us keep unity and love in our marriage! Here's an example using one of my favorite passages, Colossians 2:12-17:
Put on then [in your marriage], as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with [your spouse] and, if one has a complaint against [your spouse], forgiving [your spouse], as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds [your marriage] in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one [marriage]. And be thankful [for your spouse]. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing [your spouse] in all wisdom, singing psalms and humans and spirituals songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do [in your marriage], in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, give thanks to God the Father through him.
I inserted "in your marriage" and "your spouse" in various places to give you a better idea of how these verses can shine a whole new light on your marriage. So often, a wife or husband forgets that "loving your neighbor" includes his/her spouse–the closest neighbor anyone can have!
And so, if you are praying for God to restore your marriage and renew your respect for your spouse, try reading through the epistles. Even better, memorize some passages. Or write them on index cards and tape them on your mirror or in your kitchen. Keep God's Word at the forefront of your heart and mind, and you will see a transformation–not in your spouse, but in you.
Here are more passages to get you started:
Romans 12:9-12
Galatians 5:13-15
Ephesians 4:1-5
Ephesians 4:25-5:2
Philippians 2:1-5
I Peter 4:8-11
No comments:
Post a Comment