In part 2 of this series, I ended with these words:
Parenting is an immense task that God did not mean for anyone to do alone.
And if you have not yet had a chance to read that post, those words followed my second parenting tip, communicate with your spouse. Parenting is meant to be a team effort, with a strong and healthy marriage being the foundation on which the family is planted.
Going back even further, my first post in this series reminded us to focus on the essentials. And the post today discusses another one of these essentials: community.
Tip #3) Become Part of a Community (and let them help)
There was a time when families lived close to grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. There was a time when neighbors knew each other and relied on each other for help. Community used to develop naturally in the place where people lived together; now, things are not always like that. I do still hear of great neighborhoods where everyone knows each other, or family members all settling within a 10-mile radius of one another, but more often, I hear how hard it is to make friends after graduating from college, how lonely it is to be single, how neighbors keep to themselves, how parents have no one to turn to when they need help. Community now must be sought out.
And where do you find this community? Your community may not be people who live on your street. You may need to drive a little. And you will need to make an effort too, an effort that doesn't come naturally to many of us anymore. But you can find it. A local church, a playgroup, your children's classmates or teammates… those are great places to start.
Now, why am I writing about community in a post about parenting? Because of the words above: God did not mean for anyone to do alone. I'm not talking about "it takes a village to raise a child". I firmly believe that children need a father and a mother to raise them, and that parents should not be relying on Sunday school teachers, sports coaches, youth group leaders, or classroom teachers to instill life lessons in their children. But parents do need people to encourage them, support them, check in on their marriage, and help out in emergencies. My community, which is some of my blood family but mostly my family in Christ, are the ones who babysit so my husband and I can go out for dinner. They are the ones passing on clothes, or bunk beds, that their children have outgrown. They are the ones bringing dinners when I have a baby. They are the ones spending the day with our children when my newborn needed surgery. They are calling to ask if I need anything at the store while they are there, or just calling to check in on me. They are the ones who know and love my children and marvel alongside me as we watch them grow. They are the ones I can go to for advice and wisdom, the ones I can trust when I need a listening ear. The list goes on.
But, like I said before, building community takes effort. It takes time. Real community goes beyond being Facebook "friends". Just rubbing elbows with other Soccer Moms at games and practices isn't enough. You will need to make time for friendships. And find deeper commonalities. And be open to sharing parts of your life with them. You will need to give in order to receive.
There was a time when I didn't want to bother anyone. I felt like I was a burden if I asked for help. Now I know how wrong I was. We are not created to live alone. We are not proving anything if we try to struggle through life without help. Now I am quick to offer help. I am working on being quick to ask for it too. But never a day goes by when I am not saying "thank you" to God for my community.
Parenting is an immense task that God did not mean for anyone to do alone.
And if you have not yet had a chance to read that post, those words followed my second parenting tip, communicate with your spouse. Parenting is meant to be a team effort, with a strong and healthy marriage being the foundation on which the family is planted.
Going back even further, my first post in this series reminded us to focus on the essentials. And the post today discusses another one of these essentials: community.
Tip #3) Become Part of a Community (and let them help)
There was a time when families lived close to grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. There was a time when neighbors knew each other and relied on each other for help. Community used to develop naturally in the place where people lived together; now, things are not always like that. I do still hear of great neighborhoods where everyone knows each other, or family members all settling within a 10-mile radius of one another, but more often, I hear how hard it is to make friends after graduating from college, how lonely it is to be single, how neighbors keep to themselves, how parents have no one to turn to when they need help. Community now must be sought out.
And where do you find this community? Your community may not be people who live on your street. You may need to drive a little. And you will need to make an effort too, an effort that doesn't come naturally to many of us anymore. But you can find it. A local church, a playgroup, your children's classmates or teammates… those are great places to start.
Now, why am I writing about community in a post about parenting? Because of the words above: God did not mean for anyone to do alone. I'm not talking about "it takes a village to raise a child". I firmly believe that children need a father and a mother to raise them, and that parents should not be relying on Sunday school teachers, sports coaches, youth group leaders, or classroom teachers to instill life lessons in their children. But parents do need people to encourage them, support them, check in on their marriage, and help out in emergencies. My community, which is some of my blood family but mostly my family in Christ, are the ones who babysit so my husband and I can go out for dinner. They are the ones passing on clothes, or bunk beds, that their children have outgrown. They are the ones bringing dinners when I have a baby. They are the ones spending the day with our children when my newborn needed surgery. They are calling to ask if I need anything at the store while they are there, or just calling to check in on me. They are the ones who know and love my children and marvel alongside me as we watch them grow. They are the ones I can go to for advice and wisdom, the ones I can trust when I need a listening ear. The list goes on.
But, like I said before, building community takes effort. It takes time. Real community goes beyond being Facebook "friends". Just rubbing elbows with other Soccer Moms at games and practices isn't enough. You will need to make time for friendships. And find deeper commonalities. And be open to sharing parts of your life with them. You will need to give in order to receive.
There was a time when I didn't want to bother anyone. I felt like I was a burden if I asked for help. Now I know how wrong I was. We are not created to live alone. We are not proving anything if we try to struggle through life without help. Now I am quick to offer help. I am working on being quick to ask for it too. But never a day goes by when I am not saying "thank you" to God for my community.
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