Discipline

I've learned that discipline takes three things: energy, courage, and love.


A parent needs energy because a child quickly learns how far his/her parent's limit goes. A tired parent who lies on the couch and shouts, "You better stop that!" will have no control. I see this in my two-year-old. He will keep doing whatever he is doing until he sees me take a step towards him. Mom means business if she gets off the couch... which means, I need to get off the couch more often!


Courage is needed because as a parent, you need to know that you are in charge! Yes, your child may cry if you discipline him/her, but God put you above your children to teach and guide them. Discipline is a part of teaching and guiding. Know that you are wiser than your children, and trust that you are doing the right thing, even if your child is screaming. Keep in mind that you want the best for your child, then take a deep breath and make the hard calls. Remember, you are your child's parent, not your child's best friend.


But most important of all is love. Without love to balance the disciplining, you are no more than a dictator in your child's life. Make it clear that love is the reason for the discipline, or your child may obey, but with anger, resentment, and eventually, hatred. After disciplining, my husband and I (whoever did the disciplining) always talk about the incident, explaining the reasons for the discipline, and end the talk with "I love you." Remember I Corinthians 13:1, If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.