A few months back, I added 'freelance writer and musician' to my profile on Facebook. Having just finished writing a novel for middle-school-aged children, I felt that it would not be a lie to finally put something under the category of 'occupation'.
Then last Thursday, I erased that title from my profile because really, it was there only for my pride. I was seeking validation, to let people know that I was more than a mother-of-five. I wanted to prove that being a stay-at-home mom didn't mean giving up on dreams, fun, or personality. I wanted to be known by others.
But really, what does it mean to be known? Does putting down a word or two for an occupation mean that people know you? I have a friend who is a plumber, but he would hardly ever want to talk to you about plumbing. Ask him about the book he is reading, or what he is learning from the Bible, or about his friends and family, or about cycling, and he will talk and talk. He is not his job. To him, the definition of 'occupation' is 'what I do during most of my waking hours on a weekday'.
On the other hand, my husband's new job was presented to him purely because of who he is. He is doing now what he would have been doing regardless of pay. There are few things in life that would stop my husband from shepherding, or making music, or doing art.
I need to grow in the confidence that I am not 'what I do during most of my waking hours'. I am not a dishwasher or a vacuum cleaner. But I should be proud of being a mom, because motherhood has shaped me as a person in many ways, and it has fulfilled some of the desires of my heart.
I need to grow in the confidence that I am not 'what I do during most of my waking hours'. I am not a dishwasher or a vacuum cleaner. But I should be proud of being a mom, because motherhood has shaped me as a person in many ways, and it has fulfilled some of the desires of my heart.
Simply said, you can't sum up all of me on a Facebook page. You can't know me. It sounds obvious to say that, but I'm afraid that most people subconsciously think that Facebook (and all other forms of social media) helps them know people. But unless I can write somewhere on Facebook that I am a writer/musician/artist/-wife/mother/daughter/sister/student/teacher/sinner/lover of Christ, among other things, then I'd rather not write anything at all.
Interesting post as always. Congratulations on your book. I would see your primary identify as a Christian to be important. However, your other identities may switch in importance from time to time. So, maybe you find your secondary identity in your hobbies, your profession, or in your relationships with other people. Maybe, even you wish to portray to others a secondary identity that doesn't match your actual identity. Though, we do this all the time when we get super dressed up for special occasions to go out to eat or formal parties. We are putting out a different image than maybe what our real identity is. Though, why should that be a problem? I also would agree that the signals we send out regarding our identity may or may not reflect who were. Is this wrong? I would agree that it would be silly to ever accept a persons image based upon what they post on Facebook ;) Though, posts will reflect some aspect of a person.
ReplyDeleteBecause we are apart from God, it is a desire of our hearts to want to be known. We just go about it in different ways.
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