A Hidden Art

Look for the word 'homemaking' in the Bible and you will not find it.

But look at Proverbs 31:10-31 and you will find an extensive description of a woman who is, basically, a homemaker.

The problem is, I am not making coverings for my bed or buying fields and planting vineyards. I RARELY rise while it is still night (except to quickly feed the baby or change wet sheets, like I did last night, then I stumble back into bed). I am NOT a neat freak. And it doesn't help that I read books saying that I would be a better mom if I do organic gardening, raise chickens, sew my children's clothes, AND get up at 5:30am to do my Bible devotions.

Am I'm failing as a homemaker?!

I decided to do some "research". I posed the question "What is homemaking?" to my friends and relations on Facebook. 

Some said that homemaking is like being the office manager of the home. Basically, a homemaker takes care of the details that keeps the house in order from top to bottom.

Yes, I agreed with that, but to a point. That definition made me feel like a maid or butler, not a wife and mother.

Then, my husband's Aunt Marianne gave her answer:

When I read your question Rita, my first thought was not so much about the logistics of homemaking, but more about the atmosphere in the home. I think making a home a home, should be first and foremost about feeling safe to be the person God made you to be. It should be a place of refuge from the world, as well as a place that gives courage to launch out into the world… you can have all the right logistical things and still not necessarily have that feeling of a refuge or a launch pad. All those things need to be wrapped up in love. I personally think it needs to be the love God gives us to give to one another.

My husband's cousin Chrissy added on to that:

I was thinking the same as Marianne. It's being a support to your husband, no matter the circumstance and while maintaining the home, doing it with love and joy as if making a place for the Lord.

(Doesn't my husband have some amazingly wise relatives? I'm so blessed!)

And my friend Lyssa contributed this:

[It's about making the home] a place of rest, refuge, beauty, hospitality, etc.

(More wisdom! I'm doubly blessed! Who could ask for more?)

And they're right. Homemaking is about adding beauty to the world and making a safe haven for everyone who crosses one's threshold. Notice that in Proverbs 31, the woman not only takes care of her house and her family's daily physical needs, she also:

-upholds, respects, and supports her husband (...the heart of her husband trusts in her, she does him good and not harm... ~vs. 11-12)

-cares for the less fortunate (She opens her hands to the poor and her reaches out her hands to the needy. ~vs. 20)

-she has faith and strong-bearing even during difficult times (Strength and dignity are her clothing… ~vs. 25)

-is a role model of wisdom, kindness, and love (She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. ~vs. 26)

Edith Schaeffer (wife of theologian, philosopher, and pastor Francis Schaeffer) wrote this in her book, The Hidden Art of Homemaking:

…a Christian, above all people, should live artistically, aesthetically, and creatively. We are supposed to be representing the Creator who is there, and whom we acknowledge to be there… If we have been created in the image of an Artist, then we should look for expressions of artistry, and be sensitive to beauty, responsive to what has been created for our appreciation.

This is from Mrs. Schaeffer, who with her husband formed a powerful team that was often mentioned in books; while her husband discussed philosophy and theology with guests in their home, Edith served food and made sure the guests were comfortable. And I love how she explains the role of a homemaker; I am not just maintaining cleanliness, I am creating!

And what am I creating? Mrs. Schaeffer uses the term "hidden art" to mean that the art that is hiding in the everyday. Singing and reading to your children, cooking, writing a friendly note, and arranging your furniture are all "hidden arts" for the homemaker. Going for a hike or vacation in a natural setting, to "rest" there, can also be a "hidden art". Rather than ask the question "What is homemaking?", Mrs. Schaeffer asks "What is art?" and points the reader towards the First Artist– God Himself. My focus then should not be on WHAT I'm doing, but WHO I'm copying by using the talents that God has given me. Rather than lament that I am not good at interior decorating, organization, or gardening, I can find other ways to express God's beauty in my home.

For me, a creative person inside and out, this was wonderful news! Where I used to put pressure on myself to be more orderly and disciplined, I now have more freedom to put my talents to work, within a (reasonably) orderly space. After all, a spotless house isn't much of a home if I don't take the time to read to my children, hang up my art work, or fill the air with the aroma of freshly baked bread.

And what I love even more about Mrs. Schaeffer's book is this thought:

After all we are an art form. I do not mean that we produce art consciously now, but I mean we are an art form, whether we think of it or not, and whether we do anything about it or not. We are an environment, each one of us. We are an environment for the other people with whom we live, the people with whom we work, the people with whom we communicate. And in this sense we do not choose an art form and create something in that form; we are an art form… People who come across us or who walk into our presence, become involved. There are various art forms we may or may not have talent for, may or may not have time for, and we may or may not be able to express ourselves in, but we ought to consider this fact– that whether we choose to be an environment or not, we are. We produce an environment other people have to live in. We should be conscious of the fact that this environment which we produce by our very 'being' can affect the people who live with us or work with us….We should be artists in doing something about the environment we are creating – artists before God, of course.

This is most important to remember on a daily basis. If I put all my efforts in what my home looks like or feels like, but neglect how I am treating the people in my home, then I have failed as a homemaker. I Corinthians 13:1-3 comes to mind:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

To sum up, the simplest definition of 'homemaking' is 'making a home'. And by that, I don't mean building a physical construct, decorating a house so that it looks like it could be on the cover of a magazine, or maintaining order. Homemaking goes beyond what I can see or touch. It can even go beyond the walls of the house. It is the cultivation of joy, comfort, and love in my family. It is seeking God as my constant guide and teacher. It is an invitation to others to rest. Homemaking is creating a bit of heaven on earth.

(One note about Mrs. Schaeffer's book if you are thinking of purchasing it: this is not a how-to book. She does not give step-by-step instructions on how to carry out her ideas. I say this only because there were several Amazon reviews expressing the buyers' disappointment after discovering that there were no specific projects in the book. Here's a quick link to buying the book: The Hidden Art of Homemaking)