Every now and then, a neutral word picks up a negative connotation.
'Housewife' was one of those. A term once used to simply describe a woman not employed outside of the home, it now conjures up an image of a woman in a June Cleaver dress and pearls, slaving away in a prison of a home, with no ambition to do more than make the best meatloaf in the world to her husband's satisfaction. And so, nowadays people prefer 'homemaker' or 'stay-at-home mom'.
I feel that the term 'introvert' has also become one of those words. Say 'introvert', and people think 'wallflower', 'shy', 'anti-social', 'hermit', or 'nerd'. An introvert is the unattractive boy or girl in the corner by the punch bowl. Or the bookworm with the nerdy glasses and mismatched clothes hiding behind War and Peace. Or the single, middle-aged man or woman who goes home to a table set for one and a conversation with his/her cat. They are not wanted at social gatherings, because they are awkward and just plain boring.
Which is not necessarily true! Sure there are times when I can't think of anything to say while squished into a corner of the couch with the music blaring behind me, and though everyone else is joining the congo line around the room, I choose to sip my punch and force a smile. But introversion isn't about preferring solitude over people; it's about how many people one can be around at any given time, and the level of interaction one has with those people.
And that is why I've decided to give introverts a new name: small-circle people.
I will proudly say that I am a small-circle person. I like going where there are no crowds, because I can enjoy my surroundings better. I like conversations with one or two people around a small table, because I can focus on their words and emotions and talk about meaningful things, and not feel like someone is being left out. I like trying new things, and I actually prefer to do with them someone else-- it's just more fun that way. I space out parties, large social obligations, and outings on my calendar so I don't overwhelm myself. I like quiet, because I can't think when there is noise. And-- this is most important-- I choose a small circle of people and pour my love into them, because I know that though I am not equipped to help a multitude of people, I can certainly help some.
I have been learning over the years not to allow labels to shape me; my identity in God is not based on what I think I can't do ("I can't help all the orphans in Africa." "I can't lead a Bible study." "I can't talk to teenagers.") but on what God can do through me. By reminding myself that I am a small-circle person, I can more easily dispel the label of 'introvert' and focus on the plans God has for me. I may not be the 'life of the party', but I can find the one person in the crowd who needs a friend. I can befriend one neighbor who is lonely. I can mentor one young woman and help her find her identity in Christ.
God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in a God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us... There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. ~I John 4:16b-18a (ESV)
Which is not necessarily true! Sure there are times when I can't think of anything to say while squished into a corner of the couch with the music blaring behind me, and though everyone else is joining the congo line around the room, I choose to sip my punch and force a smile. But introversion isn't about preferring solitude over people; it's about how many people one can be around at any given time, and the level of interaction one has with those people.
And that is why I've decided to give introverts a new name: small-circle people.
I will proudly say that I am a small-circle person. I like going where there are no crowds, because I can enjoy my surroundings better. I like conversations with one or two people around a small table, because I can focus on their words and emotions and talk about meaningful things, and not feel like someone is being left out. I like trying new things, and I actually prefer to do with them someone else-- it's just more fun that way. I space out parties, large social obligations, and outings on my calendar so I don't overwhelm myself. I like quiet, because I can't think when there is noise. And-- this is most important-- I choose a small circle of people and pour my love into them, because I know that though I am not equipped to help a multitude of people, I can certainly help some.
I have been learning over the years not to allow labels to shape me; my identity in God is not based on what I think I can't do ("I can't help all the orphans in Africa." "I can't lead a Bible study." "I can't talk to teenagers.") but on what God can do through me. By reminding myself that I am a small-circle person, I can more easily dispel the label of 'introvert' and focus on the plans God has for me. I may not be the 'life of the party', but I can find the one person in the crowd who needs a friend. I can befriend one neighbor who is lonely. I can mentor one young woman and help her find her identity in Christ.
God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in a God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us... There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. ~I John 4:16b-18a (ESV)
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