Monday, November 5, 2018

How to Survive Having 8 Kids (or Fewer) - Part 5 of 7

Okay, so I'm a 'list' person. Putting things into lists help me organize my thoughts. So today, for Tip #5, I have a list. Yes, another list. Maybe this helps you too. Sometimes using fewer words is more beneficial. So here goes...

Tip #5) The Little Things Matter

1) Get down and play with your child
2) Listen and respond when he/she talks
3) Ask about what he/she is reading, building, drawing, etc.
3) Say 'Thank you' and 'I'm sorry'
4) Give hugs and kisses every day
5) Say 'I love you' often
6) Point out what you appreciate about them
7) Ask for his/her opinion
8) Invite a child to join you on an errand or to work on a project together 
9) Make birthdays a unique day
10) Put your cell phone away and check it only once or twice a day

Where did this list come from? People often ask my husband and me, "With eight kids, how do you find the time to make sure each child gets enough individual attention?" In their minds, each child needs evenings out or special days with Mom or Dad. We like to do those when we can, but frankly, it gets expensive (and is nearly impossible with eight kids).

But I have noticed, that though my kids enjoy time away from their siblings every now and then, none of them feel lost in the shuffle. My husband and I do our best to treat each child as an individual, and we do it in little ways.

My husband always grabs a child to go on errands to the hardware store or grocery store. I invite a child (or two) to help me bake. I kiss each child at night (with my second son, we have a whole series of kisses, like a "secret handshake"!) and sing a few songs to the younger ones. On birthdays, I allow the birthday child to pick the breakfast, dinner, and dessert. On half-birthdays, we put candles on a dessert and sing half the birthday song. I ask my daughter about clothes (because they've always had a better fashion sense than me). When my son runs in, shouting, "Come and see the sticks I stacked outside!" I put down whatever I'm doing and go outside to see the sticks. And if I catch myself saying "Uh-huh" without really listening, I ask the child to repeat him/herself, and make sure I really listen the second time.

The little things do matter. Five minutes here and there throughout the day add up to a lot! It really doesn't take much to let a child know that you cherish him/her. Doing these little things let your child know that he/she is a vital part of the family. (And here's a bonus: I've noticed that now I have teenagers, many of these little things are helping us bridge that tricky gap between childhood and adulthood!)

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