In Step In Marriage

The unfortunate side effect of the holiday season is that I become a stressed and grumpy wife. After so many days of driving to people's homes, being surrounded by extended family, dealing with children who won't nap, and then attempting to clean my disastrous house, I am not a happy camper. I have to confess, I had not been very kind to my husband lately.

As I repent of my less-than-loving behavior, two images come to mind. Once, as I was waiting at a red light, I saw an elderly Asian couple crossing the street. At first, what I noticed was their matching outfits: khaki pants, black shoes, and similar black jackets. Then, as they walked, I noticed that their steps were perfectly in time, so much that at one angle, I could not tell that there were two people walking in front of me. Even when the couple reached the curb, their steps did not falter. As neatly and gracefully as a hawk lighting onto a branch, the man and woman stepped onto the sidewalk and continued their stroll.

The other image is a passage from The Lord of the Rings.

...Tom and Goldberry set the table; and the hobbits sat half in wonder and half 

in laughter: so fair was the grace of Goldberry and so merry and odd the 

caperings of Tom. Yet in some fashion they seemed to weave a single dance, 

neither hindering the other, in and out of the room, and round about the 

table; and with great speed food and vessels and light were set in order.

I can see it in my mind, this dance of Tom and Goldberry, and if I was a dancer, I would choreograph a performance piece along those lines.

There have been times when my husband and I work together with that much unity. As a team, we take care of the children, make decisions, and tackle problems that arise. I love feeling that connected to my husband.

So, what happened to me these past few days? How come my husband and I have not been 'in step'? Our dance together was clumsy and faltering; we were dancing solo, or tripping over each other. We were housemates, or acquaintances, business partners at best, but hardly best friends and lovers.

I can think of two reasons (and there may be many more, but these are the two I've pinpointed.) One reason is pure selfishness. I have my agenda, and my only thought is to plow ahead until I have accomplished my task. And when my husband's agenda doesn't match mine, I become frustrated and angry because I want him to do what I think needs to be done!

The second reason is lack of communication. I didn't ask my husband what he needed to do yesterday, and I was taken by surprise when he didn't come home until dinner time. Then today, I was ready to go to the grocery store and library, assuming that my husband would stay home with the kids, but forgetting to ask him if he had any plans. Until my husband and I master mind-reading (said tongue in cheek), verbal communication is the key. Marriage books and marriage counselors will tell you this time and time again. I've known it for ten years now, and I still forget it. I'm not a very talkative person to begin with, but that really is no excuse, if I want to be in step in my marriage. This also means being clearer about what I need from my husband and being more honest about my feelings. My New Year's resolution (more on that in my next post) is to communicate better with my husband.

Marriage is not easy; anyone who is married knows this fact. But it doesn't mean that marriages can't be joyful and fulfilling. With work, God's example of love, and the Holy Spirit's help and guidance, two can become one. And our marriages will be a shining example to the world.

Post-Christmas Cheer

I discovered today what makes a Christmas song really great.

It had not been a good day. As we backed out of the garage, on our way to my parents' house to celebrate Christmas with them, I noticed something different about our house. It took me a moment to realize what it was: one of the cars was missing. Normally, we have three cars parked on our driveway, because our housemates have two for their commute to work and school. Well, one of their cars was gone.

We quickly called our housemates (who were in Colorado visiting family), hoping that maybe a friend of theirs had borrowed the car, and they had just happened to forget mentioning it to us. No such luck. The trip to my parents' house was cut short, and my husband was on the phone much of the day, talking to the police and our housemates.

From this situation, my husband observed how sin has a ripple affect. Many people's Christmas was ruined this morning. As for me, I was just angry. How could someone do that?! To my friends, of all people?! I hope the thieves are caught! Maybe God can work a miracle! I want Him to get those crooks!

I fumed while I turned the situation over and over in my mind. But a moment came as I sat in my house and looked up at the sun shining in through a skylight. My husband was playing Christmas music in the background, and I heard the words, "O come let us adore Him, O come let us adore Him..." And I stopped, breathed, and worshiped Him despite everything. In the midst of my anger, I had forgotten to pray. I finally released my grip on the uncontrollable and called on God for peace and justice.

Later, as I washed the dinner dishes, I found myself singing the second verse of 'O Holy Night'. Again, the words struck me, "Christ is the Lord..." And I was reminded that He is with us, and He has His hand on us and our housemates. Whatever the reason was for this incident, He is in control.

The great Christmas songs are great because they are true. I can sing them all year round because they are worshipful. Some people are disappointed because another Christmas has come and gone, but I have Christmas cheer that never goes away.

Christmas Quotes

The event of Christ is the only event in human history that promises relocation and centering, meaning and purpose. This promise and its fulfillment evoke passionate and heartfelt praise and thanks, especially for those aware of their own brokenness and the healing which Christ brings into their lives. ~Robert Webber

Whatever else be lost among the years, 

Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: 

Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,

Let us hold close one day, remembering

Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men.

Let us get back our childlike faith again.

~Grace Noll Crowell

Late on a sleepy, star-spangled night, those angels peeled back the sky just like you would tear open a sparkling Christmas present. Then, with light and joy pouring out of Heaven like water through a broken dam, they began to shout and sing the message that baby Jesus had been born. The world had a Savior! The angels called it "Good News," and it was. ~Larry Libby

And this morning, my five-year-old said, "God invited everyone to his birthday party!"

I can't say it better than that. May your Christmas be full of true peace, true love, and true joy!

Living in the Light of God's Love

I lament that I do not live every moment in the light of God's love. I try too often to live by my own strength as I try to gain some status in this world or attempt to "fix" it. And I allow the cares of the world to overcome me, forgetting that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-loving!

But I am encouraged by my friends William and Larisa, who are back in the United States after another year abroad as missionaries. They truly live in the light of God's love. Sometimes they arrive in a city not knowing where their family will sleep that night, and a person offers them a place to stay. They share the message of the cross in countries that are not always open to the Gospel, but they know that every meeting, be it with a taxi-driver or an old friend, is by God's divine appointment. Every breath they breath is God-given, and every step they take is God-directed. They don't do anything on their own strength!

I want to share with you an e-mail I received this morning from Larisa, who had just traveled to Florida with three of their six children. This is just one of many examples of my friends' great faith.

Merry Christmas!  I, Larisa, just got back from an amazing, God-ordained time in Florida. God allowed me to share some of the great things He has been doing overseas with a large Community Bible study group and with the chapel service at Teen Missions Int'l. 

There is a verse in Psalm 68:20 that says, "God is to us a God of deliverances; And to GOD the Lord belong escapes from death."

God just gave us ANOTHER escape from death.  We have had so many hair raising events and yet God has just sent His angels again and again to rescue our lives from destruction.

We had to use a loaner car seat from United as they sent ours to the wrong destination.  The car seat they gave us was a bit too small, so on the airporter bus I let my one-year-old stand up a bit as she had been sitting in a stroller, car seat, and plane for about 18 hours.  When she fell asleep, I set her in her car seat beside me on the bus and almost didn't buckle her.  God led me to buckle her even though the top straps were so tight I couldn't slip my fingers under them.

As I was carrying her in her car seat down the stairs of the bus, a man insisted on taking it out of my hands.  When he started down the steps he slipped and the whole car seat fell upside down and he just had a hold of the bottom.  If I had just set my daughter in the car seat and had not buckled her chest strap, she would have fallen almost 5 feet down landing on the top of her head on cement.  God rescued her from another super close call with death.

My mind keeps going back and forth from praise to God for this rescue to terror and shock at how close we came to losing her.  For those of you who don't know our youngest, she is such an extremely  joyful, patient, longsuffering and content baby.  She is so patient through hours and hours of travel and just grins and claps her hands and smiles at everyone around.  She has been in 10 countries and been held and loved by people from many, many nationalities.

Thanks again for your prayers.  God has opened so many amazing opportunities to ministry to us and at the same time it seems the evil one is trying hard to kill and destroy us. I had shared the Gospel with a man from Lebanon just before this happened.  God has given so many radical rescues from death.  Praise to our Mighty God who is NEAR!

When I read this, I thought of my own little baby, and I know that I should never take her safety and health for granted. Everything I have, from my health, to my family and friends, to my husband's job, to my home, is a gift fromGod. There is no "luck" or "hard work" involved. And everything I do can be for His glory, if I remember that I live in the light of God's love.

Please take a moment to pray for my friends William and Larisa and their six children as they prepare to return to the Middle East and Europe in January to continue spreading the Good News!

Celebrating Christ, not Christmas

As my husband and I are preparing to lead worship on Christmas Eve, we are encountering a rather common malady: putting Christmas above Christ. Because when a person insists on singing only Christmas carols, or demands that we must light candles, or stresses about putting lights up, baking at least five kinds of cookies, following this tradition or that tradition, then that person has made an idol of Christmas.

I agree that Christmas is a beautiful holiday, and the songs, the candles, the lights and traditions, all of those things are lovely, but we cannot allow those things to change how we should live daily. Christ calls us to Love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor as yourself. And if we are arguing about how things "need" to be done at Christmas, then we are not obeying His command.

In all you do (or don't do) this Christmas holiday, remember: Celebrate Christ!

Love Sack

That's 'Love Sack', not to be confused with 'Love Shack'.

Earlier today, I was reading the children a Christmas story called 'Ichod, The Christmas Troll.' It is about a troll who hates Christmas, mostly because no one ever includes him in the gift-giving and festivities. So he goes about, trying to ruin Christmas, until one of Santa's elves gives him a present, and a remarkable change occurs. Ichod's icey heart melts and he begins to share in the joy of Christmas. At the end of the story, my daughter summed it up with "Someone just needed to fill his love sack. When your love sack is empty, you have no love to give."

Do you have a neighbor who is a bit Scrooge-y? A coworker who is a tint of Grinch-y green? Maybe he or she has an empty love sack, and needs someone to fill it! A plate of cookies, an invitation, a small ornament... these are all ways to show a person that he or she is not forgotten or overlooked during is lovely, but sometimes lonely, holiday season. Get creative, and get your children involved! Kids have love sacks that overflow! Do some old-fashioned caroling. Rake a neighbor's leaves. Give a nice tip to a bad waiter. Hug the relative that you can't stand. You never know whose heart you may melt and whose love sack you may fill up!

The Significance of Christmas

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, 

because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. 

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and 

recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. 

The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 

and he began by saying to them, 

"Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

Luke 4:18-21

As I was trying to clear away the 'extras' that we've piled onto Christmas, I discovered this passage. Two chapters after the birth of Jesus, many years after the angels and shepherds and wise men  have come and gone, when most people had probably forgotten about that night in Bethlehem and see now only a poor homely carpenter from Nazareth, Jesus himself announces the purpose of His coming. The Old Testament passage that Jesus read is from Isaiah 61. It is worth reading this prophecy! Jesus came to bring true joy and healing, joy and healing that can  come only when we are reunited with our Maker.

That was why the angels sang, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests," and why we continue to sing those words today.