The Call to Hospitality- Passing on Blessings (Part 4 of 5)

My husband and I and our friend Susan recently had an opportunity to visit the home of an Iraqi refugee. We were invited into the small apartment and offered sweet, delicious Turkish coffee. It was hot that day; there was no air conditioning in the home. The family did not own much; their furniture were most likely second-hand. But we chatted for hours and left feeling like old friends.

Sometimes I forget that hospitality doesn't depend on the size of my home, or the price of my furniture, or the food I offer my guests. I live in an area where many of the homes, inside and out, look like they could be featured on a magazine cover. I feel the pressure to impress. But as I mentioned in previous posts, biblical hospitality is not entertaining or showing off. Biblical hospitality is taking what God has given me and multiplying it by sharing it with others.

So what does that look like? My family has sit-down dinners, so we invite people join us. I sing and play the piano, so on occasion I will visit the elderly in nursing homes and play for them. When I bake, I will make an extra loaf for a neighbor. I have a car, so I can offer someone a ride. I'm not a gardener, but if you are, you can drop off a bouquet or veggies at someone’s home. If you have time while riding the airplane, chat with the person next to you instead of scrolling on your phone. If you are sitting with friends at church, invite a new person to sit with you. There are an incredible number of ways to be hospitable when we focus on what we have, more than what we don't have! And you can be hospitable in ways that I cannot!

In the first century church, Christians opened up their homes to host church meetings. They shared everything. Acts 4 says there was not a needy person among them. People noticed that Jews and Gentiles, masters and slaves, men and women, rich and poor were welcomed. They would gather for dinners that Bible scholars call "love feasts", where communion would be shared and Christ's sacrifice be remembered.

And that is what I picture heaven to be, a giant potluck where people of all different ages and backgrounds gather together to feast. We all bring something to contribute to the meal and we all partake of what others had brought. Everyone feels welcomed and loved. It's the most amazing party of ever!

That is hospitality. A bit of heaven to earth.

Sharing the Deepest Part of You

I'm wrapping up July with a marriage topic that piggy-backs on the last post. Of course, it is good to ask your spouse questions like "What is your favorite meal?", but as Christians, we can go deeper than couples on 'The Newly-Wed Game'. 

I'm talking about spiritual conversations.

Several years back, I was leading a MOPs summer book study (the book we read was Creating an Intimate Marriage, by Jim Burns). We had gone through the chapters on affection, communication, and forgiveness, and I was eagerly anticipating the upcoming chapter on connecting with your husband on a spiritual level.

"How often do you and your husband talk about what God is teaching you?" I asked the women in the circle.

"Um… uh…"

The room was quieter than when we discussed the chapter on intimacy.

"Do you talk about the sermon on the way home? Do you pray together? or study the Bible together? or talk over dinner about how you are growing?"

"No…" the women answered. 

I was shocked. These were Christian women, married to Christian men, and I had assumed that they, like me, would share the deepest part of themselves with their spouses. But what I learned that day is that many people are not comfortable with that. Maybe it wasn't modeled for them. They either grew up with non-believing parents, or they were in a 'Christian home', but don't recall ever listening to their parents talk about God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Some Christians would even say that their Christian parents strove to put on a good face in front of their children, so any talk of spiritual growth was avoided. And in general, many people believe that a person's spiritual life is an individual matter.

I started wondering how many Christian marriages are similar to the ones represented in the room. These women had also admitted that they feel their husband is a 'good friend' or 'roommate', but not their 'best friend'. I would go out on a limb and say that until they are able to have spiritual conversations with their husband, they will not feel like their husband is their best friend. If you can't share your soul with your spouse, how can the two of you truly know each other? How can you grow closer, when there is a part of you that is never revealed?

So, for you married couples out there, my challenge to you, if you don't already do so, is to begin sharing the most vulnerable, most humble, most intimate part of yourself with your spouse. If you are in a couple's Bible study, that's a good start. But being in a study together doesn't always mean you are sharing with each other. If you aren't comfortable sharing with each other at home, most likely you will not be MORE comfortable sharing in a group setting. Try praying together before going to bed. Take communion together. Study the Bible, just the two of you, using a couple's devotional if needed. Ask each other, "What is God revealing to you right now?" 

Husbands, take the lead on this. Oftentimes, it is easier for women to share their thoughts and feelings, but YOU can be the one to initiate a spiritual conversation by humbly sharing what God has been teaching you. You may feel vulnerable doing this, as there is always a fear that the other person will judge, mock, or disrespect you, but this is one way to share God's truth, honor God's power in your life, AND lead your family.

Wives, set the tone for these discussions by gently asking questions and listening to your husbands with an open heart. Many men don't feel confident enough to lead and are embarrassed about sharing their weaknesses. You can affirm him by letting him lead in this, and encouraging him in his spiritual growth. Remind him that you still respect him when he admits his shortcomings and need for grace and growth. Ask him how you can pray for him in the workplace, in the church, and in your family. 

Even if it feels awkward, start with baby steps and cultivate this new habit. With time, you and your spouse will find yourselves growing closer to God and each other. And this will reflect on your relationships with your children, your parents, your friends, and your church family in ways you can never imagine!

More Beauty

When I say "more beauty", I am not talking about getting a make-over, a face lift, a new wardrobe, or a new 'do. That is beauty as defined by People Magazine. I am talking about Beauty as defined by God. The difference is that God's definition is eternal, and not found in the shape, the color, or the emotion of the thing (or person). Instead, it is found in the way the thing (or person) reflects God, because it is not the object itself but its beautiful Maker that makes it beautiful. A single flower, the vast ocean, a new born baby, an elderly man, are all Beautiful because we see in them the face and fingerprints of their Creator. A simple song, a conversation over dinner, a walk with a child, are all Beautiful because they remind us of that "other place", the place where Love lives. 

In The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis writes:

The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things-- the beauty, the memory of our own past-- are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.

Lately, I had been feeling weary. I blamed lack of sleep, the weight of responsibilities, little time with friends, but what I was really lacking was Beauty. I had forgotten to see God around me, to take time to bask in His glory, and to enjoy Him. I was living without being alive.

But as I took Communion yesterday, I was reminded that God provides us with all we need: the bread, which is what sustains us physically, and the wine, which is what makes life enjoyable. We need both to truly live. To quote C.S. Lewis again, "We do not want merely to see beauty... we want something else which can hardly be put into words-- to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it."

I need more Beauty in my life. But how to achieve this? I asked myself. Is there something I need to do more of, or something I need to cut out of my life? It's a fine line, because it is not really about what I do, but what I choose to focus on as I'm doing it. A doctor can heal without "seeing" his patients, and painter can paint without loving the subject. The only way to gain more Beauty in my life is to slow down and intentionally look, which means when I'm watering the vegetable plants, I stop to ponder on God's creativity and wonder how life comes from a tiny seed. When I'm teaching my children, I look into their faces and cherish them as their Heavenly Father cherishes them. When I sit down to dinner, I'm not thinking about the dishes, or checking off another meal from my to-do list, but I am enjoying the food and the people around the table. Otherwise, my work has become one of those "dumb idols", and I have lost my connection with the Maker of Beauty.

To quote C.S. Lewis yet again, I will close with this passage from Till We Have Faces, "The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing-- to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from-- my country, the place where I ought to have been born."

What a wonderful way to remind myself to keep my eyes on God as I continue on this journey of serving Him through homeschooling, homemaking, loving my husband, and loving my community.

Good News on Good Friday

As I made my way to the communion table at the Good Friday service this evening, I was stopped by a dear friend.

"I need prayer," she said with tears pouring from her eyes. "I don't feel like I deserve this right now."

But isn't that the whole point of His death? Sometimes, it feels good to take communion and pray, "God, I like walking beside You" or "God, I've learned so much from Your word this past month." But what makes the Good News good is that it is all about God, not us.

How wonderful to take the bread and the cup and know with complete understanding that we are not deserving of it!

A Room Full of Stories

In my church family, we usually take Communion on the first Sunday of the month. As I've mentioned before, Communion is a precious time for me, on many levels. But what I love most is to watch my church family gather at the different 'stations' and, one by one, humbly take a bit of bread and 'wine' (we use grape juice). My heart jumps into my throat when I see that we are essentially a room full of broken people, made whole again only by the blood of Jesus. How I wish I could hear everyone's story as they stood in line! Maybe in heaven, we will have the time...

This is Just the First Course!

I may have already told you this, but one of my favorite things about communion is watching people as they wait their turn to take the Bread and the Cup. The variety of ages, sizes, colors, and personalities reminds me that people of all nations will someday sit together at the Great Banquet. Communion is like the first course, the appetizers, a taste of what Heaven will be like! How good of God to give us something tangible here on earth to point us towards eternity!

Real Fruit

I finished my painting for Easter, and I must say that I'm pleased with the result (being only an amateur painter). The focus of this project was to pick one of Jesus's many names and associate it with Easter. I chose the True Vine. I've always loved the imagery of new life emerging from the cross, and adding the vine was an easy step from there. I've also often thought of wine (when taking Communion) as a symbol of joy, and it was no accident that Jesus said, "This is my blood, drink this in remembrance of me." His blood was spilled for us, so that we may have joy. And lastly, I love how a grape vine stretches and reaches. That is us, grasping for more, reaching out to others, and producing fruit.

This painting, along with others, will be hung in the Valley Bible church sanctuary in April.