Christmas Ideas!

For several Christmases now, my family has had our Christmas traditions. I've shared them before, but I always want to share them again in case someone is in search of an idea to start with his/her family!

- Wrap Christmas picture books and put them under the tree. Every day a child chooses a book and unwraps it for our story time. (You can wrap 24 books, or you can wrap a few at a time.  If you don't have a lot of Christmas books, borrow from the library... just be sure to wrap those first so that they can be returned promptly!) Here are some of our favorite Christmas books: Our Favorite Christmas Stories!

- Hang up twelve pairs of Christmas socks and put Bible verses, ornaments, and candy in them. All through December, we count down to Christmas Day by taking down a sock and reading through the story of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus's birth. 

- Make an edible treat and drop them off at your dentist's office or other local businesses. 

- Do some old-fashioned door-to-door Christmas caroling.

- Put out some snacks for the mail carrier and delivery people. They're busy this time of year! (the photo on the left shows the little basket that sits out on our front step, right under the mail box)

- Introduce yourself to a person of a different age group at your church. Invite them over!

- Keep extra gloves, socks, hats, granola bars, and restaurant gift cards in your car to give out to homeless people.

What do you do to reach out during the holiday season? Please share! I'd love to hear from you!

43 Years Young

Yesterday was my birthday, which always makes me contemplate. Could I count the last year as a success? And by success, I don't mean, Did I make more money, did I write more books, or did I lose those 10 pounds? These are the types of questions I ask myself:

Am I a better parent than I was a year ago?

Is my marriage better than it was a year ago?

Do I love people better?

Have I gained more wisdom and learned more about God?

I'm glad to say that last year was a successful one, especially after the rough parenting and wife-ing moments and strange, blah birthday of 2020, and it was because I took these 3 things to heart.

1) Make every day count. I lost 4 friends in the past 2 years, all of whom were under the age of 43. I can groan about getting older, or I can see it as a blessing.

2) Our Triune God is the God of love and community. After reading Michael Reeve's wonderful (and easy-to-digest) book Delighting in the Trinity, I stopped picturing God as a lone person sitting out in the vast emptiness of space. No, He is in constant community with the Son and the Spirit! And that is how He wants us to live–ever giving, ever loving, ever connected to other people.

3) Live in love, not in fear. I used to be afraid of what people thought of me. In my heart I wanted to care for people, but I couldn't step out of my comfort zone to do so. But then I realized that "I'm shy" or "I'm an introvert" or "I don't know what to say" are just selfish excuses, because I was focused on myself more than on the other person. And if I want to "make every day count" and be like my Father, "the God of love and community", I need to stop making these excuses and start exercising my "love muscle." And it IS like exercise! In 2020, after months of not having people over, I found it extremely hard to think of cooking for guests! And having people over simply wiped me out! It was a strange feeling, and it showed me how easy it is to fall into a pattern of complacency. But if I exercise the muscles of hospitality, generosity and compassion, they grow stronger! What was difficult to do a year ago is easier now! And will be even easier next year!

So here's to another year of growing in wisdom and building up my love muscles! The older I get, the more I live in the reality of being the daughter of the King!

We love because He first loved us. ~I John 4:19 NIV

Food for Our Souls

My dad could have been a musician.

But growing up in Hong Kong, he was cooking for his family by the time he was twelve and supporting himself through college. As an adult, he still had a desire to learn the piano and study music theory (and for the longest time, we had two old violins that moved with us from house to house), but he never found the time.

My mom too could have been a musician.

I would hear her singing as she worked in the kitchen, her soprano voice ringing through the house. But her father was a portrait photographer who worked out of his family's small apartment, and her mom was an illiterate child-bride, so my mom relied on scholarships just to get through school.

It was through the church that my parents found an outlet for their love of music. They both became Christians in high school, and singing hymns was the perfect way for their hearts to express the musical joy that they had always felt. And when my sister and I came along, my parents made it a priority to buy a piano and find us piano teachers.

Today, I'm a piano teacher and music teacher. If not for my music teachers when I was young, I may not have had the chance to develop my skills. And I think often of my parents as children, and other children who are in situations like theirs. When I see my children (or anyone else's children) sing and dance on stage and I see the pure joy and the free innocence on their faces, my eyes always fill with tears. I know that this is what heaven will be like. And I want to give ALL children that bit of heaven on earth.

Music and the arts may not be the most practical skill, but I have learned from our "Covid" season that though we may look to science and medicine to heal our bodies, we must look to the arts to heal our souls. Music is one of the signs that we are more than robots and machinery; simply putting food in us and fighting off disease is not enough to keep humans alive–we need beauty to thrive! More than that, God gave us the wondrous gift of music, and music is a gift we can give back to God! The Bible is full of verses that say "sing to the Lord" and "make music to the Lord"!

So think of ways that you can grow the next generation of artists and musicians. You don't need to be an award-winning professional. You just need to have the love and the desire to pass on this love. Support the arts by attending youth events or donating to non-profits like Christian Youth Theater (shameless plug here: CYT Tri-valley). Ask the young painters, singers, writers, and dancers in your life about what they do. Remember, the arts are more than extracurricular or "just a hobby" or steps towards a job or career. Music and the arts are essential to our beings; they are food and medicine for our souls!

No More Excuses

In my new book, I make a lot of confessions. Here's one I didn't include:

I'm afraid to talk to new people.

This morning, as we gathered for in-person indoor worship for the first time in over a year, I was so nervous about the many new faces filling the sanctuary. I wanted to stick close to people I knew, or busy myself with something and avoid eye contact. Just the thought of talking to someone new makes my heart race, my palms sweat, and my mind go blank. 

And I used to let that be my excuse.

"I'm just shy. That's who I am."

"They don't want to talk to me. I'll wait for someone to come over to me."

"It's easier to hang out by the food table and keep putting food in my mouth so I don't have to talk to people."

But guess what? God still calls me to love people, to reach out, and to build community. And He has all the tools I need to grow in this arena.

No more excuses. 

So, this morning, I made it my goal to meet one new person before I left. And I did it! I walked straight up to a new person and introduced myself.

Sometimes I'm talking to parents and I hear them say things similar to what I used to say about being shy. 

"I could never do what you do."

"I just don't have the patience."

"You were meant to have eight kids. I wasn't."

There was a time when I believed these too! I would watch how another mom handled a situation and think, "I could never..."

But I have learned over the years that God calls me to be the best mom my kids can have. He has all the tools I need to grow as a parent. So whether I am getting to know my newborn, or I'm figuring out new ways to be organized, or I'm learning patience–again and again and again–God's got me covered. 

No more excuses.

(Read more about my parenthood journey in my book, Dirtying My Sleeves!)

The Fruit of the Spirit is...

 JOY!

Last month, I shared about the "Fruit of the Spirit Project," started by a friend of mine. Every month, she delivers a box full of small gifts that represent one of the fruit of the Spirit. Last month was Love, and this month is Joy!

Two days ago, I received a box that contains an envelope labeled "Joy" (with a letter inside), a scented candle, a small macramé hanging, a tiny chick, chocolate bark, and an adorable fake succulent in a little pot. As cute as my new tiny succulent is, I think the best part of the box is the letter my friend writes. She reminds me that trials will come in life, but as Christ followers we can "count it all joy when you fall into various trials." (James 1:2) Life right now is not easy; we are all carrying heavy burdens of different shapes and sizes. But we can see it from a different perspective: there is a unique joy that results from our most difficult times.

Is there someone in your life that needs this reminder too? Are there people you know who could use some encouragement today? Consider starting your own "Fruit of the Spirit Project" to spread the joy!

The Fruit of the Spirit is...

LOVE!

You've probably noticed that I haven't been writing a whole lot. Life feels rather ho-hum right now. Christmas is over, winter rains and cloudy days are upon us. More and more friends are moving out of state. And while I don't feel like life is "on hold" just because much of California is still shut down, it takes more energy than usual just maintaining normal interactions. Most of my free time is spent making cards, cooking meals for those in need, doing front porch visitations (with cookies!), and trying to come up with other ways to keep our spirits up and to encourage people. Our Christmas tree is still up, just to bring bring some cheer.

Imagine my surprise today when we heard a knock on the door. Standing outside was a friend whom I haven't seen in months! And in her hands was a box, mysteriously labeled "Fruit of the Spirit Project." She handed me the box and told me (also mysteriously) that was a part of something she's doing.

I gasped when I opened the box!

Inside was an envelope labeled "Love" (with a letter inside), a heart-shaped cookie, heart-shaped chocolates, a face mask, a prayer journal, a blank greeting card with a stamped envelope, heart-shaped stickers, a rose-shaped bath bomb, and a decorative heart for hanging.

And this is not because Valentine's Day is coming up! This is what my friend wrote in her letter:

In this new year, the Lord put it on my heart to incorporate joy again into my life. Which we should all have, right? Being a social, creative person is my joy. Thus the idea of "The Fruit of the Spirit Project" came into mind.

My Word-loving friend found an amazing way to spread joy! What a great way to use her talents! Her goal is to design a box (one per month) for each of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Then she delivers the boxes to encourage people (like me) and remind us too to remain strong in the Word. With one simple box, I feel so loved, so cared for, and so encouraged in the midst of these dark and lonely days!

So I encourage you too to start your own "Fruit of the Spirit" project. Maybe you can do this with family to give to your friends and neighbors. What can you think of to put in a "love" box?

(I will share with you what comes in each box as they arrive!)

Popping the Bubble

Over the years, I had found that being a homeschooling mom who works from home and whose husband is a pastor means that my world can be very small. If you draw a Venn diagram of my friends and acquaintences, it would look more like one big circle instead of several overlapping circles.

Sheltering in place with Covid has not helped. The longer I stay home, the easier it gets to ignore the world around me and focus on my own little bubble of happiness.

Then recently, my family joined our church for an outdoor evening service. It felt a little strange at first, sitting in the parking lot, on a lawn chair, in a chalk-drawn circle, singing with masks on. But I started looking around me.

And this is what I saw: what used to be done inside a building, behind walls and out of sight, was now being done in the open. People were gathered, singing and praying together. Everyone who drove by, biked by, walked by, or flew by could see us worshipping God. They could see me worshipping God! I was always shy about worshiping and praying in public, even when inside with people I know, and now I was doing it outside.

If nothing else, Covid has brought God's people all around our country out of their buildings. And I hope that we are doing more than just singing in parking lots. Let's get out of our bubbles! What can you do today?

Though this is not my home...

I apologize for not having written since... June?! Has it been that long?!

If it helps at all, I started a post in July, then put it on hold. AND I've been using my quarantine time to finish my new book, which I hope will be available to you al before the end of the year!

Other projects I've been doing during this time are:

-making cards for residents at the nearby assisted living facility

-trying new recipes, like ube ice cream (yum!)

-doing crafts with the kids

-reading stories to the kids and teaching my five-year-old to read

And just yesterday, I decided to landscape the front yard.

Now, those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that my family rent our home, and over the years, I've always had to tell myself, "Don't get too attached. You'll only be here for a few years."

This was partly for my own good. When I first got married, after having moved from house to house all my life, I dreamed of buying a home and living in it until I died. When our attempts to purchase a house failed several times, I had to let that dream go. God taught me that my home is not found in a location, but in the people in my life–my husband, my children, my friends, and my church.

But the down side of a "temporary" home is that I didn't want to invest in anything long term.

"Should I start a garden? Nah, we might have to move in the summer."

We always knew that the owners of this house plan to move in some day. When they deiced to chop down the only tree in the front yard, there wasn't anything I could do abut it. When the sprinkler system broke and the lawn died, I just thought, "Oh well." Every summer, when the lease-end date approached, I found it harder and harder to put my energy into the house.

Then this year, the owners gave us a two-year lease. And maybe it's because I'm feeling listless for the lock-down, or maybe I just grew tired of looking at my dead lawn, but I decided to beautify the front of the house. Even with only a few pots of fruit trees and bright flowers and several bags of mulch, I was able to make my brown yard into something colorful, cheery, and life-giving.

And here's the lesson I learned as I stepped back to look at the beautiful greenery:

Just because a home is temporary doesn't mean I shouldn't care. It's easier to be apathetic and do nothing, but I can add to the beauty, no matter where I am.

And that goes for my temporary home on earth too. There are days (especially in recent months) when I just want to say, "I don't care anymore." I know that life here is short and something better awaits for me. So why try to fix anything here on earth?

But God wants us to be His hands and feet here. He wants us to bring beauty and light to the world, though sometimes we would rather hide for the darkness. Even if I live to be 101, I want to always be doing what I can to share God's love and joy with others.

How can you add to the beauty today?

Is This What It's Like to Be Afraid of People?

I went shopping at Costco today, with my mask on, of course. As I was pushing my cart towards the rotisserie chickens (dinner for tonight), I noticed an older gentleman looking at me. 

No, he was staring at me.

I tried to give him a friendly smile, but that's hard to do, with a mask on.

He finally stopped looking at me and went back to his shopping, but it made me think, 

"What was going on in his mind?"

Was he thinking I was one of the Chinese responsible for bringing over the Coronavirus? Was he thinking I should go back to my country?

And once that thought was in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if other shoppers saw me that way. They saw my black hair and dark eyes and yellow-toned skin and that was enough. Even if they caught the hint of a smile under my mask, it wouldn't matter to them. I was Chinese. Period.

But I was probably being overly dramatic. The man wasn't looking at me for more than a second; it just felt longer.

I continued with my shopping.

Then I passed an African-American woman. I tried to give her a small smile. Too late. She didn't see it. Or I mean, she didn't see my eyes crinkling in a friendly manner.

And what was she thinking then? That I didn't smile at her because I don't like African-Americans? That I looked down at her because of her skin color?

My mind couldn't stop. The next thing I knew, I was in a shopping cart traffic jam in the bread aisle.

Then I remembered about social distancing!

Did these people think I was being irresponsible? Were they mad because I wasn't keeping my distance? Did they want me to stay away?

Fortunately, at this point I ran into a friend from church. We started talking about his baby coming in July and baking bread at home. I forgot about the questions in my head and thought more about how to care for my friend and his family.

Fear can be contagious; it can spread through a crowd quicker than Covid-19. As I finished my shopping trip, I realized that I had had a glimpse of what it would be like to live in a world of fear, to be afraid of people–the very people that Jesus commands us to love.

"Love your neighbor" sounds easy when we talk about it from the comfort of our living rooms. If you asked me if I was a kind person, I would say "yes." But deep down, if I dare to admit it, loving my friend is one thing, while loving my enemy is a totally different thing.

Jesus doesn't see it as two different cases though. His love for a friend is the same as his love for an enemy.

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)

A neighbor may be your friend... or he may be your enemy.

My pastor asked this question last Sunday, "Which of these people would you help–a rioter? A first responder? A scared neighbor?"

It's good to ask ourselves these questions:

If someone spray painted nasty words on my store front, would I help this person if I saw him/her lying on the street?

If someone made threats against my family, would I still help this person if he/she was injured?

If a neighbor ignored me every day, would I still offer help when I saw him/her struggling with something?

Will I allow myself to be ruled by fear, or ruled by love?

Purpose in the Futility

"Do I even need to get dressed anymore?"

A popular question nowadays. It makes me wonder if I'm being a bad mom for making my kids dress everyday, and more on Sundays.

But I get it. The novelty of wearing PJs all day (or at least pajama bottoms when we have conference calls) is diminishing. Here in California, we have been sheltering in place for 5 weeks, and for some of us, there just doesn't seem to be a purpose in our days anymore. We get out of bed... for what? Read some books, watch some TV, eat some food, look at the news on Covid-19, go back to bed, do it again the next day. 

If you are feeling this way–listless, bored, purposeless, teetering on the edge of depression–I hope to encourage you with stories of some well-known biblical heroes, namely Joseph, Esther, and Daniel.

Joseph was sold into slavery, living in Egypt, miles away from his family.

Esther, a Jewish girl growing up under Persian rule, was taken to be a part of the Persian king's harem.
Daniel was taken captive to live in Babylon under King Nebuchednezzar.

These three people all had reasons to be depressed. Their lives were turned upside down. They were far from their families. And they were in situations where they had to act under compulsion, or lose their heads. Surely they had days when they wondered, "Why? Why should I do this? Why should I even get up today?" It was difficult for them to see the purpose in what they were doing, or the purpose in what God was doing.

And yet, Joseph, Esther, and Daniel not only carried on, day by day, they excelled in their work. 

Joseph became the overseer of all his master's property.

Esther was chosen to be the new queen.
Daniel was a high advisor to king.

They had every reason to give in to their depression and trudge through their day, but they didn't. And God, with His purpose, used them in amazing ways! Genesis 39:3 tells us this about Joseph, "His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands." A few chapters later, the Bible tells us that "Pharaoh said to his servants, 'Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?'" (Genesis 41:38 ESV)

And what was the result?

Joseph's reputation proceeded him and he eventually became the overseer of Pharaoh's property and saved the kingdom from a famine.

Likewise, Esther did her queenly duties and found favor with  the King, saving the Jewish people from genocide.
Daniel faithfully served the King Nebuchadnezzar, and his son Darius, who decreed that the kingdom will serve only Daniel's God after Daniel survived the lions' den. 

These past five weeks, I've been tempted to give in to depression. I'm just a suburban mom, not a nurse or doctor on the front lines. I certainly won't be saving the world by teaching piano lessons and making videos of my family singing! But we don't know God's purpose in all this. Our story, like the stories of Joseph, Esther, and Daniel, is much bigger than us. God is with us, He does have a purpose, and we can excel in spite of the situation! We can shine His light!

Galatians 6:9-10 reminds us: "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

So here are some ideas to help you (as they have helped me) find purpose in your day:

1) Look heavenward and outward. Keep focused on God. Brainstorm ways to aid others.

1) Get out of your pajamas. What you wear can affect your mental outlook. 

2) Set up a plan to do something everyday–read the Bible,  call someone, or dig deeper into the Word with videos like the Bible Project.

3) Go outside and take in God's majesty. Take a walk. Or just step out onto your front step and look up at the sky. Read a book or eat lunch outside. The change of scenery and the fresh air will revive you.

4) Find reasons to celebrate: birthdays, half-birthdays, losing a first tooth, whatever! 

3) Send cards of encouragement, especially to those who are alone. Many residents in senior care homes cannot leave their rooms at this time. There are also people hurting in deeper ways right now. My friend's wife is in hospice care, and he can only visit her from afar. And I can't even offer a shoulder for him to cry on! Another friend's daughter is a first year out of medical school. She is caring for Covid-19 patients and recently lost her first patient. A gentle note reminds them that they are not alone.

4) Pick up a new hobby. Then use the new hobby to encourage people. My friend Angie has always wanted to learn how to watercolor, so she looked up some YouTube videos and started making these!

5) Healthcare workers, delivery people, and others in essential businesses are working long, taxing hours. If you have neighbors in these fields, offer to help with their grocery shopping, or bring them a meal. Put out snacks, wrapped toilet paper, face masks, or hand sanitizer on your porch for delivery people to take with them.

6) Do some research and see how you can help locally. Our local shelter for abused women and children needs food donations. The blood bank still needs blood.

7) Many missionaries are seeing situations more dire than ours, where families are out of work and starving, or children are basically orphans because their family is in the hospital. Contact missionaries through your church, Compassion International, World Vision, or other Christian organizations and ask how you can help.

2020 and Beyond

I'm not into New Year's Resolutions. For me, resolutions are a year-round pursuit. I'm always needing improvement. 

That's why I've been working on a list. It's a list of reminders to myself when I am old and gray. And hopefully, not grumpy. I made the list because I want to start working on these things NOW, way before I become old and gray. This way, I have plenty of time to achieve my goals.

(And my friends who are reading this, you have every right to hold me to this, even when I'm 80!)

1) Don't be stubborn when you need help. Now, it may be help with the kids or the housework. Later, it will be help with driving, carrying bags, or even going to the bathroom. If help is offered, graciously accept it. If it is not, graciously ask for it. Listen to the advice of those who suggest changes. It may be for everyone's well-being.

2) Don't be jealous of your children's affections. Love demanded from the giver is not really love. When they are young, they prefer friends and toys. When they are old, they will be busy with their own lives. Be thankful if they are visiting friends or other family members or giving of their time to a good cause.

3) Love your husband and make the most of every moment. Be quick to say I'm sorry and be quick to forgive. This one will never change, no matter how old I am, or how many years I've been married.

4) Quality, not quantity. You may not be able to do as much as you used to, but you can still do it well. So do it with excellence, whether it is making a race car birthday cake for a 5-year-old or crocheting a baby blanket for an expected grandchild.

5) Don't be afraid to speak up when you have something to say. You're wiser now. But also know when to keep your mouth shut. Just because you know better than someone else doesn't mean it's the right time to say so. Show grace, especially to those younger than you. Remember what it was like to be in their shoes 10 years ago, 20 years ago, or 50 years ago.

6) Don't waste the time you have left. You may have days, you may have years. Either way, you're not dead yet. Love extravagantly, without expecting the love to be returned. Be the first to reach out to others. Be a role model. But remember #5.

7) Pray constantly and abide in the Word. There is nothing stronger, nothing deeper, nothing more life-changing. Don't underestimate what God can do in a person's life. No one, no matter how old, is a lost cause to God.

8) Be thankful. If you want to avoid becoming a grumpy, old woman, practice thankfulness every moment of every day.

Adopt a Grandparent!

At our church's 4th of July picnic, I noticed an older woman dressed festively in a red and white striped shirt. Though she needed a walker to move about, she was right in the middle of the activities–watching the water balloon toss, trying the different desserts, chatting with people of all ages. She came right up to me and started talking to me about my young children. We became fast friends.

By the end of the picnic, I knew many things about Kathy. One of her two brothers died when he was fairly young. Her sister Rita (a connection!) passed away last year. Her husband died a few years before that. Of her four children, only one is still living. Her family is now only her other brother, her nephew, her son, and herself. She lives with her brother, but her son does not live in the area. She has no grandchildren.

I, on the other hand, have grandchildren to spare. Immediately, in my mind, I adopted Kathy. She and her brother came for dinner recently and they had a fabulous time. They loved the children, the food, the conversation and the music, and my husband and I enjoyed their delightful company. I'm already planning to invite them to Thanksgiving dinner, and to make it known to them that they always have a place at my house on the holidays.

I have a deep love for inter-generational interactions. I grew up in the United States, oceans apart from my grandparents in Hong Kong. Now I see the role of grandparents in a child's life. Grandparents are a direct link to our past, and it is in that relationship where children first learn how to interact with people who are older, and hopefully wiser, and yet are not their parents. It is where children learn to care for someone who may need to move a little slower or need special care. And by spending time with their grandparents, children grow comfortable with being with people who are elderly. And children play a very important part in an elderly person's life too. They bring joy, energy, and a spark to everything. Their wide-eyed wonder makes anyone, no matter how old, feel young again.

You may not be living near your parents. You may sadly have parents who had already passed away. Or maybe your relationship with your parents is tenuous and unstable. In any case, I encourage you to reach out to the older members of your community and adopt a grandparent or two. They will be blessed, and so will you.

10 Unique Ways to Show Hospitality

Okay, maybe my title is a little misleading… there is really nothing amazingly creative or blow-your-mind-earth-shaking about this list. BUT… in light of what I wrote in my recent posts, this list may help you think outside-of-the-box when it comes to hospitality. Note that none of these ten ways involve cooking a fancy dinner or throwing a Pinterest-worthy party. This list is about true hospitality, which is simply loving your neighbor as yourself. 

1}  Offer to babysit for a couple who does not have family living nearby. (after getting to know them first, of course)

2}  Visit someone who is housebound, or visit seniors in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. (especially if you have children!)

3} Drop off a meal (either bought of home-cooked) for someone who recently had surgery or a baby. (ask for food allergies or preferences beforehand)

4}  Invite a new person to sit with you at church.

5}  Offer a ride to a person who doesn't drive.

6}  Surprise a neighbor with flowers or vegetables from your garden.

7}  Offer to pick up things at the store for someone who has a hard time getting out.

8}  Invite someone to join you on what is usually a family outing- the park, the farmer's market, a walk.

9}  When you meet a new person at church, invite them to lunch that day. And if he/she can't do lunch that day, schedule a meal for another day.

10}  Go out for tea or coffee (or ice cream!) with someone who is not in the same age bracket as you. 


To think of more ways to show hospitality, ask yourself, "What do I do already?", then ask yourself, "And how can I invite someone to do this with me?"

The Call to Hospitality- Passing on Blessings (Part 4 of 5)

My husband and I and our friend Susan recently had an opportunity to visit the home of an Iraqi refugee. We were invited into the small apartment and offered sweet, delicious Turkish coffee. It was hot that day; there was no air conditioning in the home. The family did not own much; their furniture were most likely second-hand. But we chatted for hours and left feeling like old friends.

Sometimes I forget that hospitality doesn't depend on the size of my home, or the price of my furniture, or the food I offer my guests. I live in an area where many of the homes, inside and out, look like they could be featured on a magazine cover. I feel the pressure to impress. But as I mentioned in previous posts, biblical hospitality is not entertaining or showing off. Biblical hospitality is taking what God has given me and multiplying it by sharing it with others.

So what does that look like? My family has sit-down dinners, so we invite people join us. I sing and play the piano, so on occasion I will visit the elderly in nursing homes and play for them. When I bake, I will make an extra loaf for a neighbor. I have a car, so I can offer someone a ride. I'm not a gardener, but if you are, you can drop off a bouquet or veggies at someone’s home. If you have time while riding the airplane, chat with the person next to you instead of scrolling on your phone. If you are sitting with friends at church, invite a new person to sit with you. There are an incredible number of ways to be hospitable when we focus on what we have, more than what we don't have! And you can be hospitable in ways that I cannot!

In the first century church, Christians opened up their homes to host church meetings. They shared everything. Acts 4 says there was not a needy person among them. People noticed that Jews and Gentiles, masters and slaves, men and women, rich and poor were welcomed. They would gather for dinners that Bible scholars call "love feasts", where communion would be shared and Christ's sacrifice be remembered.

And that is what I picture heaven to be, a giant potluck where people of all different ages and backgrounds gather together to feast. We all bring something to contribute to the meal and we all partake of what others had brought. Everyone feels welcomed and loved. It's the most amazing party of ever!

That is hospitality. A bit of heaven to earth.

The Call to Hospitality- Strangers as Family (Part 3 of 5)

We are surrounded by lonely people. 

An article on the Scientific American website says, “Thanks to remarkable new technologies and the widespread use of social media, we are more 'connected' than ever before. Yet as a nation, we are also more lonely. In fact, a recent study found that a staggering 47% of Americans often feel alone, left out and lacking meaningful connection with others. This is true for all ages, from teenagers to older adults.”

It’s true that once a person graduates from college, it’s harder to make friends. You might make friends at work, but rarely are those deep abiding friendships. More and more, people commute long distances to work, families don’t live near each other, and neighbors are aloof. So a person hopes to find friends somewhere, at a book club, for example. You look for friends among those who share your interests. 

But this is not the case for those of us in Christ's family.  We come from many different backgrounds and have many different interests, but we are united by the amazing love of Christ. We ourselves, having been invited by God to become a child in His family, now in the name of Christ look to invite “strangers” who may be very different from us. This is hospitality, treating a stranger as family, bringing in outsiders, loving others even though we may not have much in common.

Remember Hebrews 13:2, Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. 

The word 'hospitality' in the Greek is philoxenia, which literally means 'love of strangers'. This love is a brotherly affection, phileo; it’s the love described in Romans 12. If our phileo is genuine, we would not hesitate to show hospitality even to a stranger. This may mean talking to a new person on a Sunday morning. This may mean making room for one more at Christmas because someone brought with him a person who had nowhere to celebrate. The Old Testament is full of commands to include strangers, or sojourners, at the Jewish festivals and to treat them the same as if they were a Jew.

Leviticus 19:33-34 “When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God."

Deuteronomy 16:14 You shall rejoice in your feast, you and your son and your daughter, your male servant and your female servant, the Levite, the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow who are within your towns.

And these are just two of the many commandments given to the Israelites. The idea here is when you see at stranger, you don’t look upon him as an outsider. You treat him just as if he is one of you.

Now, of course this doesn't mean that you have to invite home every person you meet on the street. The key is to remember that as Christians, we are not a part of an exclusive club. We should never become detached, elite, or cliquey. We should strive (dioko, remember that verb from Part 2?) to be the first one to intentionally break the invisible barrier that divides us as strangers. And for some of us, this is hard. We feel vulnerable. We worry about what people might say if we shared ourselves with them. But put aside your self-consciousness and uneasiness as you look to Jesus as the ultimate example of love. He loved us even when we were His enemies. He loved those who were dirty, broken, and unworthy of love. He removed all barriers so that we could be with Him.

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." ~Matthew 25:37-40

The Call to Hospitality- Ambassadorship (Part 2 of 5)

Did you know… the most hospitable person who ever lived was a homeless man?

This man was Jesus of Nazareth, who never threw a party in his home, but invited everyone he met to the biggest and grandest party that ever was–the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus talked about the Kingdom more than anything else (yes, more than anger, murder, hypocrisy or adultery)! Everywhere he went, he shared about the Kingdom and revealed this Kingdom through his actions: he ate with the outcasts, he fed people, he called the friendless to be his friend, he touched people who were deemed unclean, he comforted the sad and lonely. This is hospitality.

And that is what we are called to do too. Hospitality is being an ambassador of the King of Heaven. As ambassadors, we are going out in Jesus’s behalf and representing the King of heaven to the world. This is the King who loved us even when we were his enemies. This is the King of peace and hope and unconditional love. And we get to wear that badge! And if we’re ambassadors, then our homes are an embassy, a safe place where people can find a peace and comfort that they may not find elsewhere. A cup of tea, a chair, and a listening ear are all you really need for this kind of hospitality.

But it’s not just in our homes that people should feel loved; it’s in our presence. You make people “at home”, and you can do that anywhere. It can be an another person’s house. It can be at work. This is the fundamental difference between being hospitable and entertaining. Any person can entertain and have friends over. Any event coordinator can throw an impressive party. Any interior decorator can make a house look lovely. But hospitality is the overflow of an inner change, an evidence of maturing in Christ. As you mature in Christ, you become more and more an ambassador of heaven, and people see that in you. 

Paul writes in his letter to the Romans:

I appeal to you therefore, brothers by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.... (Romans 12:1-2 ESV)

You may already be familiar with these verses. They talk about growing and becoming more Christ-like and standing out in this world. See, though, what Paul says as he continues with his list of ways to grow in our faith. Just a few verses down, he writes:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)

Have you ever noticed that hospitality is on this list? If you want to be more Christ-like, you must seek to show hospitality!

And what does it mean to "seek to show?" In the Greek, the word is dioko, a very strong verb meaning "to pursue, to cultivate, to strive toward, or to run after". In the NIV, the word is translated to "practice", but it would be practice with intense effort and a definite purpose or goal. My husband studied the work dioko and discovered that it was the same word used in Acts 9:5 to describe Saul and his persecution of early Christ followers. Saul was intensely pursuing Christians to kill them. We should be intensely pursuing people to love them. This is not a haphazard activity or weekend hobby! If we are mature followers of Christ, we should be actively looking for opportunities to show hospitality, because God’s love is overflowing in us so much that we "Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:14-15 ESV). We desire to reach out because we know that we are representatives of the God of love. 

So the first step in understanding biblical hospitality is knowing that it is not limited to your home. We are not called to throwing impressive Pinterest-worthy parties. Remember my definition from the last post: hospitality is showing love to your neighbor and caring for him/her in ways that embody the home. I seek to look beyond my circle of family and friends and people with whom I feel most comfortable. I strive to show hospitality to the librarian and the grocer and the mom at the park. I work to show hospitality even to the person who spoke to me rudely or the neighbor who seems to be antagonistic towards me. After all, God loved us while we were still his enemies (Romans 5:8) and as His ambassadors, He calls us to do the same.

The Call to Hospitality (Part 1 of 5)

What comes to mind when you hear the word 'hospitality'?

"Yes! I LOVE throwing a good party! Baby showers, birthdays, holidays, you name it! I have decorations and dishes ready for every event and I know exactly what will be on the menu!"

or

"No! All the cleaning I have to do beforehand! And I'm just not a great cook! And where would everyone sit?! Our house is so small!"

Before you read any further, you should know that this series of posts is not about throwing parties. I will not be giving you tips on decorating or menu planning. I will not even include a recipe. Because, hospitality is not about parties! But don't be disappointed, because we will be talking about so much more! Just what does the Bible say about hospitality? And why is it important?

First, let's look at the modern definition of hospitality: the entertainment of guests in your home. The problem with this definition is that it is very limiting. What if your home is not very big? What if your budget is not very big? Does entertainment mean telling jokes and juggling? And how does this kind of hospitality differentiate between a warm, genuine invitation for a simple dinner versus a gala thrown by a hired event coordinator?

In contrast, let's look at the definition of biblical hospitality.  There is no one verse that clearly states what hospitality should look like, so this is what I came up with based on what I've learned from the Bible:

Through love, caring for your neighbor's needs in ways that embody the home.

Why your "neighbor"? Because you can show hospitality to anyone who is near you. Why "needs"? Because you are thinking about what this person needs the most at this time, more than thinking about what you are willing to give. And why "ways that embody the home"? Because the home is a place of love, trust, care, and acceptance, and we would not be truly hospitable if we did not give those things. Just think, a simple cup of cocoa and conversation warms a heart more than a buffet and a DJ.

But maybe this definition is still too ambiguous. So to help you (and not to overwhelm you), I will take time in my next four posts to describe biblical hospitality in depth (and what the Bible has to say) and giving you suggestions on how to make it a part of your life.

One final thought for today: as followers of Christ, we are called to be hospitable. Romans 12:13 says simply "Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Hospitality is evangelism. It is loving your neighbor as yourself–one of the great commandments given by Jesus. So don't discredit is as something other people do, or as something you can do someday. But also don't feel discouraged if you feel ill-equipped in this area. We are all growing, and I hope to encourage you if you seek to grow in the area of hospitality!