Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Though this is not my home...

I apologize for not having written since... June?! Has it been that long?!

If it helps at all, I started a post in July, then put it on hold. AND I've been using my quarantine time to finish my new book, which I hope will be available to you al before the end of the year!

Other projects I've been doing during this time are:

-making cards for residents at the nearby assisted living facility

-trying new recipes, like ube ice cream (yum!)

-doing crafts with the kids

-reading stories to the kids and teaching my five-year-old to read

And just yesterday, I decided to landscape the front yard.

Now, those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that my family rent our home, and over the years, I've always had to tell myself, "Don't get too attached. You'll only be here for a few years."

This was partly for my own good. When I first got married, after having moved from house to house all my life, I dreamed of buying a home and living in it until I died. When our attempts to purchase a house failed several times, I had to let that dream go. God taught me that my home is not found in a location, but in the people in my life–my husband, my children, my friends, and my church.

But the down side of a "temporary" home is that I didn't want to invest in anything long term.

"Should I start a garden? Nah, we might have to move in the summer."

We always knew that the owners of this house plan to move in some day. When they deiced to chop down the only tree in the front yard, there wasn't anything I could do abut it. When the sprinkler system broke and the lawn died, I just thought, "Oh well." Every summer, when the lease-end date approached, I found it harder and harder to put my energy into the house.

Then this year, the owners gave us a two-year lease. And maybe it's because I'm feeling listless for the lock-down, or maybe I just grew tired of looking at my dead lawn, but I decided to beautify the front of the house. Even with only a few pots of fruit trees and bright flowers and several bags of mulch, I was able to make my brown yard into something colorful, cheery, and life-giving.

And here's the lesson I learned as I stepped back to look at the beautiful greenery:

Just because a home is temporary doesn't mean I shouldn't care. It's easier to be apathetic and do nothing, but I can add to the beauty, no matter where I am.

And that goes for my temporary home on earth too. There are days (especially in recent months) when I just want to say, "I don't care anymore." I know that life here is short and something better awaits for me. So why try to fix anything here on earth?

But God wants us to be His hands and feet here. He wants us to bring beauty and light to the world, though sometimes we would rather hide for the darkness. Even if I live to be 101, I want to always be doing what I can to share God's love and joy with others.

How can you add to the beauty today?


Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Purpose in the Futility

"Do I even need to get dressed anymore?"

A popular question nowadays. It makes me wonder if I'm being a bad mom for making my kids dress everyday, and more on Sundays.

But I get it. The novelty of wearing PJs all day (or at least pajama bottoms when we have conference calls) is diminishing. Here in California, we have been sheltering in place for 5 weeks, and for some of us, there just doesn't seem to be a purpose in our days anymore. We get out of bed... for what? Read some books, watch some TV, eat some food, look at the news on Covid-19, go back to bed, do it again the next day. 

If you are feeling this way–listless, bored, purposeless, teetering on the edge of depression–I hope to encourage you with stories of some well-known biblical heroes, namely Joseph, Esther, and Daniel.

Joseph was sold into slavery, living in Egypt, miles away from his family.
Esther, a Jewish girl growing up under Persian rule, was taken to be a part of the Persian king's harem.
Daniel was taken captive to live in Babylon under King Nebuchednezzar.

These three people all had reasons to be depressed. Their lives were turned upside down. They were far from their families. And they were in situations where they had to act under compulsion, or lose their heads. Surely they had days when they wondered, "Why? Why should I do this? Why should I even get up today?" It was difficult for them to see the purpose in what they were doing, or the purpose in what God was doing.

And yet, Joseph, Esther, and Daniel not only carried on, day by day, they excelled in their work. 

Joseph became the overseer of all his master's property.
Esther was chosen to be the new queen.
Daniel was a high advisor to king.

They had every reason to give in to their depression and trudge through their day, but they didn't. And God, with His purpose, used them in amazing ways! Genesis 39:3 tells us this about Joseph, "His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands." A few chapters later, the Bible tells us that "Pharaoh said to his servants, 'Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?'" (Genesis 41:38 ESV)

And what was the result?

Joseph's reputation proceeded him and he eventually became the overseer of Pharaoh's property and saved the kingdom from a famine.
Likewise, Esther did her queenly duties and found favor with  the King, saving the Jewish people from genocide.
Daniel faithfully served the King Nebuchadnezzar, and his son Darius, who decreed that the kingdom will serve only Daniel's God after Daniel survived the lions' den. 

These past five weeks, I've been tempted to give in to depression. I'm just a suburban mom, not a nurse or doctor on the front lines. I certainly won't be saving the world by teaching piano lessons and making videos of my family singing! But we don't know God's purpose in all this. Our story, like the stories of Joseph, Esther, and Daniel, is much bigger than us. God is with us, He does have a purpose, and we can excel in spite of the situation! We can shine His light!

Galatians 6:9-10 reminds us: "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

So here are some ideas to help you (as they have helped me) find purpose in your day:

1) Look heavenward and outward. Keep focused on God. Brainstorm ways to aid others.

1) Get out of your pajamas. What you wear can affect your mental outlook. 

2) Set up a plan to do something everyday–read the Bible,  call someone, or dig deeper into the Word with videos like the Bible Project.

3) Go outside and take in God's majesty. Take a walk. Or just step out onto your front step and look up at the sky. Read a book or eat lunch outside. The change of scenery and the fresh air will revive you.

4) Find reasons to celebrate: birthdays, half-birthdays, losing a first tooth, whatever! 

3) Send cards of encouragement, especially to those who are alone. Many residents in senior care homes cannot leave their rooms at this time. There are also people hurting in deeper ways right now. My friend's wife is in hospice care, and he can only visit her from afar. And I can't even offer a shoulder for him to cry on! Another friend's daughter is a first year out of medical school. She is caring for Covid-19 patients and recently lost her first patient. A gentle note reminds them that they are not alone.

4) Pick up a new hobby. Then use the new hobby to encourage people. My friend Angie has always wanted to learn how to watercolor, so she looked up some YouTube videos and started making these!





5) Healthcare workers, delivery people, and others in essential businesses are working long, taxing hours. If you have neighbors in these fields, offer to help with their grocery shopping, or bring them a meal. Put out snacks, wrapped toilet paper, face masks, or hand sanitizer on your porch for delivery people to take with them.

6) Do some research and see how you can help locally. Our local shelter for abused women and children needs food donations. The blood bank still needs blood.

7) Many missionaries are seeing situations more dire than ours, where families are out of work and starving, or children are basically orphans because their family is in the hospital. Contact missionaries through your church, Compassion International, World Vision, or other Christian organizations and ask how you can help.

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Doing BIG Things

It's that time of year again.

Time to put another candle on the cake. And time to ask myself, "Did I use my time well this past year?"

Sometimes I get frustrated because there is so much I want to do: missions trips, book ideas, art and music. I've always had a great desire to do something to change the world, or in the words of Sara Groves, "and when the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them." I want to do something BIG.

And what have I done this past year? No books, no songs, and definitely no time with orphans in China, with churches in Africa, or with refugees in Iraq. I live a quiet, peaceful life in suburbia, potty training toddlers and driving teenagers around. I am doing so little compared to those who sacrifice their comfort, their health, their income, or their very lives for the Kingdom.

But this I've learned, and I continue to remind myself: doing what God calls me to do IS big. I want to go to Africa; God says, "Tend my sheep... in California. Impact the world here, where family and children are no long valued. Show them what My love looks like. Teach others, and continue to learn from your elders so you are ready when I guide you to a new adventure." And so I make a sacrifice too, the sacrifice of doing what I want.

Living the life God intended for me is about two things. One, there are times when He calls me to step out in courage and tackle something new. There are times when He calls you too. And two, there are times when He calls me to stay put and focus on the task He had appointed for me. And for some of you, this is where you are at. You wonder if there is more to life than this mundaneness. You wonder if you are making an impact on the world. But remember, it is not the size of the task that matters. One child or eight, writing a book or changing a diaper... we may feel that what we do is insignificant, but He never does. Not if we are doing what He called us to do, and not if what we are doing brings Him glory.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

A Little Thread of Gold

Many of you know of Laura Ingalls Wilder from her "Little House" books. I  grew up reading and rereading Little House in the Big Woods and the other books, and was so excited later to discover a collection of her essays and magazine articles in a book called Little House in the Ozarks. While thumbing through my copy of the book today, I found this gem and wanted to share it with you. You will see that though times have changed, they have not changed as much as you may think. Maybe it will give you encouragement today.

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Daily Tasks Are Not Small Things
May 1923

"The days are just filled with little things, and I am so tired doing them," wailed a friend recently. Since then I have been thinking about little things or these things we are in the habit of thinking small, although I am sure our judgment is often at fault when we do so.

Working in the garden; taking care of the poultry, calves, and lambs; milking the cows; and all the other chores that fall to the lot of farm women may appear small in itself; but the results go a long way in helping to "feed the world." Sometimes I try to imagine the people who will eat the eggs I gather or the butter from my cream and who will wear the clothes made from the wool of the lambs I help to raise.

Doing up cut fingers, kissing hurt places, and singing bedtime songs are small things by themselves; but they will inculcate a love for home and family that will last through life and help keep America a land of homes.

Putting up the school lunch for the children or cooking a good meal for the family may seem very insignificant tasks as compared with giving a lecture, wiring a book, or doing other things that have a larger audience; but I doubt very much if, in the ultimate reckoning, they will count for as much.

If when cooking you will think of yourselves as the chemist that you are, combining different ingredients into a food that will properly nourish human bodies, then the work takes on a dignity and an interest. And surely a family well nourish with healthful food so that the boys and girls grow up strong and beautiful, while their elders reach a hale old age, is no small thing.

It belittles us to think of our daily tasks as small things, and if we continue to do so, it will in time make us small. It will narrow our horizon and make of our work just drudgery.

There are so many little things that are really very great, and when we learn to look beyond the insignificant appearing acts themselves to their far-reaching consequences, we will, "Despise not the day of small things." We will feel an added dignity and poise from the fact that our everyday round of duties is as important as any other part of the work of the world.

And just as a little thread of gold, running through a fabric, brightens the whole garment, so women's work at home, while only the doing of little things, is like the golden gleam of sunlight that runs through and brightens all the fabric of civilization.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Ploughing Through

Lately, I haven't felt inspired in the kitchen. Seeing the beautiful colors in the produce aisles doesn't excite me like they used to. Even my usual sure-fire solution of checking out cookbooks from the library hasn't motivated me. And watching old episodes of Master Chef Junior only makes me feel more incompetent. 

But I keep cooking, because I have to feed my hoard of children. Spaghetti. Burrito night. Chicken stir-fry. At least that's better than fast food and less expensive than prefab meals.

I realized this morning, as I was whipping up some boring ol' scrambled eggs for breakfast, that what I'm doing it with cooking is exactly what I do with any creative endeavor. Whether it's drawing, writing, or playing music, there are times when you just "have to" do it. Creative professionals always say, "You can't wait for inspiration to hit. Your craft must become a habit, a job, a task you do even when you don't feel like it." You don't let un-inpiration stop you; you plough through it. And if you draw one thing a day, you slowly get better. If you write or edit a page a day, you do finish your novel. Somedays, you feel like you played 'Rhapsody in Blue' better than Gershwin himself; other days, you feel like you barely managed to play your scales.

The same applies to our Christian walk. In 2016 and 2017, I was in Bible studies and giving talks. So far this year, I have done none of that. I don't have the energy to ponder the deeper things of God, only the little things. And that's okay. As long as I'm faithfully walking with my Lord, I'm in good hands. He doesn't ask that I be always energetically running or joyfully skipping by His side, He only asks that I follow. 

So I'm crawling after Him right now, ploughing through fatigue, selfish thoughts, discouragement, and un-inspiration. But I know that He will provide the energy and the joy. He will draw me into the deeper things. He will be my inspiration.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

The Most Important Work

I've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately (can you tell?) Having eight children does that to a person.

My latest thought? 

Why do people so often say, "You must have your hands full! How do you do it?"

I know these people mean well (and it's only small talk anyway), but it's like they're saying, "Why would you choose to torture yourself that way? Well, someone's got to do it." It makes motherhood sound like punishment, like children are something to be "put-up-with". And many moms do feel this way! Once the school year is over, these moms are in agony because they will be with their children all day long. "What am I going to do?" they ask. "My children will drive me crazy!"

I don't blame these moms. (I do blame a culture that perpetuates the attitude that children are an annoyance and staying at home and focusing on being Mom is a less-than-worthy endeavor.) Children are hard work. They require an enormous amount of energy and time. But parents can see their roles as something more than just babysitter.

Think about this quote from Dr. John Trainer:

Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.

Bringing home a pay check may seem important. Lobbying for non-GMO, organic farming may seem important. Discovering the cure for cancer, firefighting, and preaching to a thousand people may seem important. But as important as all these things are, parenting is still more important, because the future of humanity relies on the parents of today. If we don't pass on our values to our children, our values die with us. The efforts that we start can only be continued through our children. Someday, our children will take the baton from us, so we must train them now how to run the race.

In short, moms (and dads) raise up the next generation. 

Can you grasp that? The responsibility? The undertaking? The stakes?

And we have only a few short years to lay the foundation.

Summer vacation is here. What's your game plan? Are you going to "put-up" with your children for a few months? Or make the most of it?

Friday, March 16, 2018

Piano Lessons

I apologize for not writing since February. I had every intention to write, but March has been a whirlwind… seven sick children, a new baby born on the 4th, more sick children…

Then I found this essay amongst my writings, and it's a good one (if you don't mind my saying so). If I had a list of top 5 life lessons learned in my 39 years so far of living, this would be one of them: wherever God puts me, I am there for a reason.

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Piano Lessons

I was young.

I was naive.

I was in need of money.

All good excuses, but that’s what they were, nothing but excuses. I should have done better, even if I hated the job. 

Stuck in a closet of a room with a piano and a kid who was somehow coerced into coming was not my idea of fun. For thirty long minutes, I listened as the student stumbled through Bach and tripped through Mozart. Good thing Beethoven’s already deaf, I thought, because he would wish he was after hearing this rendition of the ‘Moonlight Sonata’.

Finally, the hands of the clock gave me permission to release my prisoner. I watched through the window as the student ran to the awaiting car, away from my chamber of torture. Oh, how I too longed to feel the breeze on my skin and sunshine on my hair!

But tick tick tick, there was another student, another lesson, another few dollars to pay for gas.

I worked this job for five months, always hating it. I hated the fact that I had graduated from college with a degree in music but all my passion, ambition, and idealism were demoted to tinkling on a piano. I hated the fact that my working hours started when everyone else’s was just ending. Most of all, I hated the fact that not one of my students really, truly loved music, that it did not sing in their bones, course through their veins, or haunt their dreams. Music, for me, needed to be a matter of life and death. 

But I could not inspire my students anymore than a match can set fire to an ice cube. They came and they went, without consistency or commitment. Just as I was learning their names, they were gone. 

Yes, I was a cynic. I admit it now. I had graduated from Berkeley with a Bachelor of Arts in cynicism. But I was a dependable cynic. Every week, I was in that closet of a room with a piano, ready to teach.

In comes a new student. Anyone could see from his face that he would rather be on a baseball diamond or a football field than sitting at a piano. I didn’t even try Bach or Beethoven with him. I went straight to the Star Wars Piano Music for Beginners. He didn’t love it, but he at least worked through it. We’ll see how it goes next week, was my thought. If he comes back.

And he did come back. He must have been bribed. I could tell that he hadn’t practice. We tried the Star Wars music again. Okay, lesson done. We’ll see how it goes next week, I thought again, if he comes back.

The next week, he didn’t come back. I wasn’t surprised. (Did I mention that I was a cynic?) His time slot was filled by a new student, Barbara. Barbara was not what I expected. She was genuinely happy to see me. In her early 60s, retired, and ready to tackle something new, she came in with energy to spare. We started our lessons as all lessons started, and thirty minutes were over in a flash. Refreshing, to have a student who wasn’t dragged in by a herd of elephants, but I was hardened already. She won’t last, I told myself. I’ve seen it before: start lessons on a whim, but quit when you can’t play like a pro in four weeks.

I patted myself on the back when, four weeks later, Barbara didn’t come for her lesson.

Too bad, I enjoyed her, I thought. And too bad, I was stuck at work for thirty minutes and not getting paid for it.

I left my closet to find my boss.

“Hey, Rita, I forgot to tell you. About Barbara...”

Oh, I know, she decided she needed a different hobby, I sneered in my mind.

“…about Barbara... she died a few days ago.”

I stopped breathing. “...it was sudden, in her sleep, her daughter called...” none of that mattered. I returned to my closet, shut the door, and sat at the piano, the very piano where, only seven days ago, Barbara had sat and played. In all my idealism, I never thought that this would really become a matter of life and death.

And what were my last words to her?

“See you next week.”

Or, maybe... “Keep practicing!”

What would I have said instead, if I had known?

“Barbara, you are my best student. I enjoy our lessons immensely.”

Sounds overly sincere, the very opposite of cynical, but those were my thoughts, were they not?

But I chose not to express them. 

No, I chose not to give any more than the minimum required, when I should have given all of myself, tap danced on top of the piano for her, baked her lemon bars, brought in CDs to listen to together, our hearts melting at the genius of Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven. No, I had thirty minutes every week with Barbara, and I threw them away.

I saw her only as a student, a paycheck, another lesson, when she was so much more: a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a human being. She was an inspiration, to strive to learn piano when most people would say, “It’s too late!” She was a music lover, to desire the key to music-making when others would say, “You’re wasting your time.” But she didn’t waste her time, not on piano lessons, not at my piano. For she taught me, when I was full of longing to be elsewhere, full of pride and apathy, full of myself. She had less to regret in her last week of living than I had in my last thirty minutes of teaching. She was the match that set an ice cube on fire. 

My ice cube.

Soon after Barbara’s death, I was hired to teach at a local junior and senior high school. I told my boss that I had to resign because I couldn’t juggle both jobs. He mentioned something to me about Barbara.

“Yes, I’ll miss her,” I responded. Because I’ll never forget her.

My new job was rough, my new classroom a little more than a closet. Instead of a piano, I had desks, textbooks, and a white board, and instead of one unenthusiastic student, I had twenty at a time. But for fifty minutes a day, five days a week, I gave all of me. My enthusiasm permeated the room like perfume, my fervor set them on fire. Even the most apathetic of students could not discourage me. And after finishing one quarter with a class of seventh-graders, I sat down and wrote a ‘thank you’ note to each of my students. I did the same with my high-school choir at the end of the year, my music class the next year, my graduates at the end of my third year. Whenever I had the chance, I told my students how much I enjoyed them, what potential they held, and how they made me smile, whether it took one minute, thirty minutes, or fifty minutes to do so.

There were no excuses anymore.


Saturday, April 1, 2017

Chores and Meditation

Our dishwasher was broken. It didn't take long for the novelty of washing all dishes by hand to wear off. By the end of the week, I was grumbly and angry.

At that same time, my discipleship group was discussing scripture memorization and abiding in the Word. What keeps us from being in the Word? What keeps our minds from meditating on God's truths?

My answer, in short, was nothing.

When I have time to read the Bible, I choose to read something else or be on the computer. And when I have time to meditate (like when I am doing housework), I fill my mind with anxiety, worry, planning, or in many cases, grumbling. Oftentimes, I go to bed with the sudden realization that I had not communed with God all day.

I decided to make an action plan. If I have time to think about the Bible, then I just need a reminder. And what better prompt than the things I'm doing all day, everyday! While I'm cooking, the smells, colors and tastes of the food can remind me to "Taste and see that the Lord is good…" When I make the bed, I can recall that "This is the day the Lord has made…" I brainstormed a list of my daily chores and looked up verses (some in different translations) that relate to the actions through a key word or idea. Here is what I came up with:

Cooking- 
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! ~Psalm 34:8 (ESV)
For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. ~2 Corinthians 2:15 (ESV)

Doing laundry- 
I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God, For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. ~Isaiah 61:10 (NIV)

Washing the dishes- 
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. ~Isaiah 1:18b (ESV)

Making the bed- 
This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 (ESV)

Gardening- 
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. ~John 15:5 (ESV)

Changing diapers- 
And said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ~Matt 18:3-5 (ESV)

Dressing- Colossians 3:12 (NIV)
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

Then came the hard part– making it a habit. When I changed the baby's diaper, I reminded myself to think of the verse. When I folded the laundry, I reminded myself again.

After a few days, I wasn't as diligent anymore. But one day, as I was washing the dishes and grumbling again about how long it was taking for the technician to come and fix it, I caught myself. The words "though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow" came to mind and suddenly, my whole attitude changed! My shoulders relaxed. My grumbling was replaced by gratitude. I praised God for His love and sacrifice. A broken dishwasher became secondary, and my time doing the dishes became a time of worship.

I am now trying to be more mindful of my thoughts throughout the day, so that the day will come when everything I do draws me to God's Word. Some day I may write down these verses and post them around the house so that I can memorize them. And there are certainly many more verses that I can look up! But for now, remembering a few key words is enough to turn my thoughts back to meditating on God and His Word, even if I am "just" doing the dishes!

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Thursday, May 12, 2016

My Fishes and Loaves

There are times when I feel overwhelmed by the need I see in the world. When I am on the road and I stop at an intersection, I study the cars that "meet" me at this juncture and estimate how many people are in the cars, and how many families they represent, and how many stories and sadnesses they hold all together. Then I feel like the author of Ecclesiastes when he writes, "I saw the tears of the oppressed- and they have no comforter; power was on the side of the oppressors- and they have no comforter" (4:1).

Or if I simply sit on a Sunday and watch people as they come and go for the morning service, I see various groups, each with specific needs. There are the handicapped, the elderly couples or widows/widowers, young married couples, teenagers, dating couples, single parents, divorced parents, families with children, families without children, and all the children themselves– how could I possibly help them all?!

The temptation for me is to fall into utter hopelessness, or to veer to the other extreme: I want to do all that I can to help as many people as possible. Then I end up saying, "Yes, I can do that!" to everyone and everything until I collapse in an emotionally and physically-exhausted heap.

Gladly, that was the tendency of a much younger me. Since becoming a wife, a mother, and a more diligent follower of Christ, I have learned that it is not my task to save everyone. But neither is it my job to sit back and mope. And a great example of this is the story of the boy with the fishes and loaves (see Matthew 14, Mark 6, Luke 9, and John 6), which I read with my younger children earlier this week. Picture this...

It had been a long day. People had journeyed from all over to meet this man named Jesus, and among them was a boy. His mother had sent him to the Lake of Galilee to see what was going on there. And when he arrived, he was excited to see the healings and to hear the teachings of Jesus.

But it was still tiring to sit out in the sun for so many hours. The boy was grateful for the meal his mother had packed for him. No one else seemed ready to leave, and so the boy settled on a small rock and prepared to devour his five loaves of bread and two small fishes.

Then, just before he bit into a loaf, he heard some men talking.

"Even if we had eight month's worth of wages, we couldn't feed all these people!"

Jesus and his friends were going to try to feed everyone?! The boy looked around him. From his position on the hill, he could see the people stretch between him and the lake. Never before had the boy seen so many people! It would be impossible for anyone but Caesar to feed such a large crowd! What could anyone do but send the people home?

The boy lifted the loaf to his mouth again, ready to savor his mother's delicious bread, when he saw one of Jesus's friends come near. The man was scanning the crowd, asking here and there, "Do you have any food?"

The boy didn't know what to do. What difference would his two fishes and five loaves make? But maybe the man was asking for food because Jesus was hungry. The boy stood up.

"Excuse me, sir, I have some food."

The man quickly ran over. "How much do you have?"

"Only five loaves of bread and two fishes. But Jesus can have it all, if He wants."

The man heaved a tired sigh. "Okay, that's fine. Come with me then."

The boy gathered his basket and cloak and walked with the man towards the hill where Jesus sat. His heart pounded. He was going to share his food with Jesus! But what would Jesus think of such a meager meal? There was no turning back now. When they reached Jesus, the boy shakily held his basket out. Jesus smiled at the boy, took the basket, and held it up to the sky, giving thanks for the food.

Then Jesus did something the boy did not expect. Without taking any for himself, Jesus told his friends to pass the food out to the crowd. The boy watched as person after person was fed fish and bread, and even as he watched, he couldn't explain how this was possible. It took an hour for Jesus's twelve friends to pass out the food, and when everyone had had their fill, Jesus told the men to collect the leftovers– each returning with one big basketful!

The boy could have kept his food for himself. He could have shrugged his shoulders in pessimism or apathy because, logically, his food could not have fed more than three or four people at best.

But the little he had, he gave to Jesus. And it was Jesus who took that little and made it more. And He didn't make it 'just enough', He went above and beyond! Jesus is the God of abundance!

So I don't need to give in despair, nor do I need to take on the burdens of the world. When Jesus sees people driving in their cars or sitting in a church service, and He sees ALL their sadnesses and heartaches, He also sees a very different picture–one of joy and healing– "…for He Himself knew what he would do." (John 6:6) 

And the best part is that he invites me to take part in it, to have a front row seat, to be his right-hand man! Every thing I do, no matter how small, if I do it for Jesus, can be used (and multiplied) by Him to bless people. Which reminds me of one of my favorite verses:

Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. ~Colossians 3:17

I will give to God what little I have to give, by writing this post, or inviting a friend over, or watching someone's baby, or sending someone a card. Who knows how far reaching my one action can go when I allow God to be the One who saves, the One who makes abundance flow from nothing?

Monday, April 6, 2015

Use Me Here

When I was in high school, I couldn't wait for college. When I was in college, I couldn't wait to graduate. While working part-time, I wanted something full-time. And when I was single, I wished I was married. 

One of the few regrets I carry with me now is that I wasted so much time when I was younger. Rather than seeing what God had for me in the present, I was always looking to the future. I can't honestly say that I helped any of my friends in high school. In college, I didn't point people towards Christ. And when I worked as a studio piano teacher, I taught with little expectation and little passion. Week after week, students came and went. We practiced the same scales, the same songs, and I always said, "See you next week!" while thinking "When do I get to go home?"

One day, "See you next week!" never happened. One of my adult students never came back, because she had suddenly passed away. And that was when it hit me.

I had missed my chance to be an influence in this woman's life. I had had several weeks of scheduled time, and I could have made the most of my weekly thirty minutes with her. But I didn't, because I was taking it all for granted. I was praying, "God, move me onto to something else," when I should have been praying, "God, use me here while I am here."

After that incident, I never looked back. I started seeking opportunities to show God's love, from simple notes to encourage people to great sacrifices of time and money. And now, though I have moments of wanting a break from my duties as mom and housecleaner, I don't spend my time pining for the days when my children will be grown. I love homeschooling. I love mentoring new moms, young single women, and newly-weds. I love asking the check-out person, "How's your day going?" I love cooking for people in need and people coming to visit. And I love sharing our home to people. God has given me so much, and I want to pass it ALL on.

Oftentimes, we forget that at every stage of life, God has a purpose for us. Maybe it's in our nature to be discontent. When we're young, we want to be older. When we're old, we want to be younger. Or maybe it's because we are bombarded by messages like "It'll be great when you retire!" or "Wait until the kids are out of the house!" Even when we are young, adults ask us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" We tell our children to strive for graduation, a driver's license, a job, an award– all ways of saying, in the most subtle way, "When you reach this goal, then you are ready to contribute!" My husband and I tell our children that they can contribute NOW, that sharing God's love, joy, and peace is not limited to those 18 and older, that they can always be on the lookout for opportunities to shine God's light.


And that's a good reminder for us adults too, that God can use us, whatever age we are. I hope that when I am in my forties, my sixties, and even my eighties, I will not waste the time God gives me, and that I will ALWAYS pray, "God, use me here while I am here."

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Come to Me

February ended and March began, and I barely noticed. Besides being covered in hives for half of February, I had sick children to care for, an uncle who passed away after a long fight with cancer, an aunt and two cousins to comfort, and my dear husband's birthday to celebrate. I was so preoccupied that I was putting milk in the pantry instead of the refrigerator. At least, I think I put the milk in the pantry. I don't remember.

Most days I wake up feeling tired. Then I tackle the day and go until I've finished everything on my list and go back to bed, feeling more tired. After a while, the fatigue compounds, and when I am feeling really, really tired, the headaches and self-pity start. That's when Grumpy Mama Baird emerges. And the guilt begins. I tell myself, "This is nothing compared to what Jesus went through!" I feel like a failure for yelling at my children and for being short with my husband and I feel completely undeserving of love or grace. Then, when I have a few days to rest and catch up, I'm back to my normal self, until the next time. It's been like this since October, and it's a cycle I want to break.

This morning I did NOT want to go to church. I was running on little sleep. I drove to Sacramento and back yesterday. And on top of that, we lost an hour due to Daylight Savings. I wanted to give in to my fatigue and moan and gripe and hole up in my house. 

But He said to me, "Come. Come to me." So I set my mind on Jesus– not his death and suffering on the cross, but his life and care for people who suffered. When Jesus met a suffering person, He never belittled him or her. And though my suffering will never be as great as what He endured on the cross, or even close to what some people endure right now in their lifetime, I feel His love for me as I struggle even with the little things. I hear His voice saying, "Rita, it's okay. I will help you through this. I love you."

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." ~Matthew 11:28

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

For Pastors' Wives

It has been two and half years since my husband became a pastor and I can't say I've settled into my role as P.W. I don't mean 'role' like I'm expected to play piano or teach Sunday school (thank God my church does not put expectations like that on pastors' wives); the role I mean is the day in/day out of raising a family while helping my husband shepherd God's family. There are emotions that I thought would go away after a few months of the new job, yet they still linger on the edges of my heart. Then there are new emotions, arising from situations that my husband has to deal with within the church. So, last week I met with the wife of our teaching pastor to ask about her experience as a pastor's wife and if she had any wisdom to pass on to me.

Part of me thought that maybe growing up as a pastor's daughter had embittered me in ways towards the church, leaving irrational fears and worries. But my friend helped me realize that the emotions I'm feeling now aren't because of unresolved issues from my past. How I feel is not uncommon for a pastor's wife with young children. The long Sundays and odd hours are not easy. Neither is being in a shepherding role. It was so encouraging for me to hear this that I want to pass on what I learned. If you are a pastor's wife with young children, I hope you are encouraged too! It helps to know that you are not alone in this!

1) It will be hard sometimes.
Serving God should be a joy, but it isn't a walk in the park. People will put expectations on you. Your husband will sometimes be under attack. You and your husband will want to help everyone, but you can't. The job is emotionally draining, oftentimes physically and spiritually so too.

2) You must be discreet at all times.
Being on the inside means you will hear things about people's private lives. The hardest part of being a pastor's wife is not sharing what you hear, or forming judgments based on that information. You will need extra doses of grace and love. If discretion is difficult for you, tell your husband that you'd rather not know the names and details of those involved. Find ways to be an emotional support for your husband without being tempted to gossip.

3) You will feel lonely sometimes.
Again, being on the inside means that sometimes you will feel alone. You will be viewed and treated as a leader and role model, not as a peer. And Sunday mornings, if your husband is preaching, teaching, or in charge of an aspect of the worship service means you are alone with your children for much of the morning, maybe even part of the afternoon or evening.

4) Learn to say "no" to people and "yes" to God.
What I mean by that is you should know what your giftings are and know what God has called you to do. Then do them! But not because you feel pressured by the congregation, not because you need to meet certain expectations, and not because you are the plug for the hole in the dam. Serve God the same way you would serve Him regardless of your title as 'pastor's wife'.

5) Put your family first.
When my children act out, I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I have to remember that my children are just like everyone else's children, and not put pressure on them to look or act like "perfect" children. My husband and I also need to put boundaries on his time at the church. We don't attend every meeting, service, or event. We try to serve together if possible (like at Vacation Bible School last summer). We shepherd our children first and foremost. And most importantly, we tell our children that people are imperfect, but God is ALWAYS faithful and deserving of praise. When things don't go quite right in the church, we remind the children that it is God's grace that helps us forgive and work things out to bring unity back to the Body. If children hear too much about "what's wrong with the church", they will grow up thinking that something is wrong with God.

6) Find trusted friends.
You need friends who encourage you, understand your role, and will sharpen you and keep you accountable when needed. My two closest friends are also pastors' wives. If possible, find close friends who attend a different church.

7) Find what works best for you and your husband.
When my husband is away, a simple phone call is enough to help me feel connected. When he's away at a retreat, it makes sense for him to call and check-up on me. Recently, I asked him to call me on Sundays too. We spend the morning in the same building, but most of the time I see him only for a few seconds in the hall. Then I go home, he stays for the second service, and oftentimes goes out for lunch. Getting a phone call from him lets me know what his plans are, and the day doesn't feel quite as long and lonely.

Having a husband who is called to serve the Body is an honor. Your children will not always be young. Your husband will not always travel without you. Hold fast to the Rock, and you will be a blessing to your husband, your children, and your church!