On AI and Art

Our children are growing up in a world where AI cannot be avoided (well, if you lived completely off the grid, maybe you could...) People argue that AI has its uses, but the problem I see is that we can no longer trust what we see, read, or hear on the internet. I would be watching a video of an animal, and my son walks by, takes one look, and says, "That's AI."

As an artist, I lament that people are relying more and more on AI to generate art, music, and even the written word. Again, AI has its uses, but what AI cannot ever do is replace human interaction.

Which is why the antidote to AI is COMMUNITY and COLLABORATION. 

You can "observe" animals on websites. Or you can go to the park or the zoo.

You can "travel" the world thru the internet. Or you can get out and experience the world around you.

You can "make" art by yourself at the computer. Or you can collaborate with other artists and go see live performances.

The more we do with other people, the more we are rooted in what is real.

This all hit me yesterday, as my family went from one activity to another.

We started off with rehearsal for my kids who are involved in the CYT Tri-Valley production of Frozen. I am on the set committee for this show (I get to paint!) and so I joined other set parents at our rented warehouse space and organized the paint supplies and old cans of paint while the kids sang, danced, and acted.

Meanwhile, my husband went to a café near us to meet with local artists. They chatted and shared their art and ideas, and one painter invited my husband to an art show and reception that afternoon at the library.

So in the afternoon, my husband and I took our youngest child to the library and admired the beautiful floral art done in glass, textiles, watercolor, gouache, colored pencil, acrylic, and oil. The artists were present and shared a bit about their processes and their inspirations. Then they held a raffle and I won a set of cards from one of the artists!

But we were still not done. In the evening, I took two of my girls to see my friend's professional ballet company perform in town. My other friend had choreographed one of the dances. As I watched, I marveled at their graceful movements set to the music. That night, I worked on a piano piece that I hope will be part of their performance someday.

Sprinkled in between all this activity was a guitar lesson between my husband and son, kids making birthday presents, and baking in the kitchen.

It was a full day, and I loved all the artistic things my family got to experience. My husband and I want to work more on "getting out there" and interacting with our community. That might be as simple as going downtown and listening to a band perform at the park. It might be as elaborate as becoming a part of the art association and helping with the next Comic Con in our town. Or in my case, workshopping a musical and performing it at the local theater!

Your family may or may not be artistic, but that's not what matters. Keep putting in the effort to connect with people, whether at home, at school, at work, or beyond!

Where “Yes" May Lead You

Twenty-seven years ago, God asked me to work with teenagers, and I said "yes."

There's a story that leads up to that moment (which I won't share with you today), but what was most surprising was:

1) I was twenty, so barely out of the teens myself,

2) I never had the desire to work with teens. In fact, I was a little afraid of them, having had not-the-best junior high and high school experience,

3) I had my doubts. I had no "training." I had no clear direction.

Nevertheless, I said "yes," without knowing where that "yes" would lead me.

Soon after, I started a leading a small youth group at my church.

After graduating from college, I was hired as a French teacher at a private junior/senior high school.

Then I got married, became a mom, and spent about the next twelve years or so NOT around teens. I was hanging out with other toddler moms, chatting it up about nap schedules and cloth diapers.

And I forgot about my "yes," until I got involved in my teenagers' youth theater company (how this happened is another great story).

What a shock! I never would have imagined that I would be teaching music to teens and directing them in shows. And the best part is that I love it! I love working with teenagers and being a supportive adult in their lives.

But along with the highs come the lows.

Two years ago, a lovely, spunky eleven-year-old came to audition for Moana Jr. She then went on to be in The Wizard of Oz and The Sound of Music, making many friends along the way. Shortly after her third show, she was diagnosed with brain cancer, and two weeks ago, she lost that battle. This was heart-breaking news for everyone in our company.

Twenty-seven years ago, I wouldn't have pictured myself in a bedroom, strumming a guitar through tears, leading a small group of girls in singing Christmas carols, witnessing the final moments of their friend's time on earth. I couldn't have imagined our time afterwards in the foyer, crying and holding each other for comfort. And I never would have known that in working with this young girl, I would be asked to sing songs with her friends at her memorial service.

Her service is tomorrow. I feel nervous and anxious. I put my two-year-old to bed, then lay next to her for a few extra moments just to pray. I ask God for peace. And I hear this song in my head.

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine...

And that's all God is asking from me when I say "yes."

Friends, or "Friends"

When I was in the second grade, I learned an important lesson: how to win friends.

I had moved from Hong Kong to the United States just one year before.

Then after attending first grade in one school, my family moved to another part of town and I had to begin all over again at a different school.

So I found myself trying to break into established social circles while speaking a new language. I spent many lonely lunches by myself, chasing butterflies on the grass and biding my time until class started again. I honestly believed that if I could get a butterfly to sit on my hand, it would prove that I'm special in some way, and maybe my classmates would notice me too.

The butterflies never chose me. But it didn't matter. One day, I brought a pack of ramen noodles to school. But I didn't eat it in a bowl with warm water. Instead, I crushed up the noodles in the packaging, then opened the bag, took out the spice package, and shook the spices onto the bits of uncooked noodles. The result was a tasty, salty, crunchy treat, and soon I was a favorite among some of my classmates.

It didn't take me long to realize that as long as I brought ramen noodles to school, people paid attention to me at lunchtime. I knew that they weren't really my friends, but I didn't care. For five to ten minutes at lunch every day, I was not alone.

Funny how, many years later, memories like this suddenly come back to you. Second grade was nearly forty years ago. And this afternoon, as I was washing dishes, I realized that I still often think that my friends just want something from me. I don't expect people to truly want to be with me. Deep down, I still think that people like me only for what I can give them or do for them. I had learned this lesson as a little girl, but I had learned it too well.

Of course, I have friends who love me; they tell me so often. I just don't allow myself to believe it. And they aren't just Facebook "friends"–they bring me meals, check up on me, take my kids to the park so I can rest, and invite us over. But if I'm completely honest with myself, I still don't really believe that they love me just for being me. It shows in how I hold back sometimes–how I can't be open in conversations, or how I hesitate to ask for help. Forty years later, I have a lesson to unlearn. I myself need to work on being more than a "friend". 

In this present culture of social media, commuting, texting, and fast-paced living, true friendship–having a deeper connection with a person and loving him/her for who he/she is, not what he/she can do for us–is slowly fading away. If you want to fight this trend in your life, I recommend this book: Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship, by Justin Whitmel Earley.

A Fickle Gut

A short post today. This is what I was thinking about in the wee early hours as I lay in bed...

My gut is broken.

And by gut, I don't mean my intestinal insides that be can fixed by changing my diet and ingesting more probiotics, or my changes in appetite throughout the nine months of pregnancy. I mean the instinct inside me that is supposed to guide me through life. Somewhere along the way, during my childhood years, between moving so often, being bullied, not feeling affirmed enough, growing up in the Chinese tradition–a myriad of things–my "guide" broke.

Sometimes "following your gut" is a good thing, but in my case, I would be in a world of trouble, because my gut is not always trustworthy. 

I would take my small revenge–my gut tells me,"You deserve it. He/she owes it to you."

I would be fearful of everything–my gut says, "Something out there will hurt you or your child."

I would doubt myself all the time–my gut whispers, "Don't try it. You'll probably fail." or "Rita, you made a mistake... again."

I would avoid conflict–my gut screams, "Run away! Protect yourself!"

We are broken people living in a broken world. Life happens–the good and the bad–and most of the time, my jerk reaction to the bad is just not reliable. This is a lesson I need to learn again and again: trust in the Word, trust the Holy Spirit's promptings, and trust people I know in the family of God. When I get lax and overly confident in my own abilities, I go with my emotions; then without realizing it, I may choose to take the easy route, the route of self-preservation. But that route is not always the right route. 

Overriding my natural responses and emotions is not easy. It's an uncomfortable place to be–sometimes it's downright painful!–but it's better than listening to the fickleness of my gut.

A Musical is Born! -Part 17- The End?

The cast recordings are not yet done. We spent 2 days–nearly 8 hours–in the studio getting every cast member on the recording. Now it's time to edit, balance, fix, and maybe add some instruments (everything was sung to piano only.)

And I still need to update the script, librettos, and all scores to reflect the changes we made in perfecting the show. I want to have the new scripts, scores, and recordings ready for another theater group. I would love for Five Children and It to live on on other stages. And I would love to see the other versions of it!

As I reflect back on the whole process, I am still in awe. I feel like the show was handed to me... I opened my hand to receive it, and there it was. Not that I didn't spend hours at the piano searching for the perfect "magic" sound, or restless nights working out a stubborn lyric in my mind, but I feel like the pieces came together so effortlessly. I can't really tell you how it happened! God gave me a mind that can solve musical/theatrical puzzles! Where I was doubting myself months ago (constantly asking myself, "Is this good? Will people like it?") now I know that I have a good sense of balance, pacing, and musical lines. Something I didn't know about myself a year ago! (which goes to show that life doesn't stop when you have kids or when you turn 40! There are always opportunities to learn and try something new. I say, go through those doors, especially when God is inviting you to do so!)

And I am still in awe of the community that came around me. This musical was like my heart on my sleeve. There was a bit of me in every character. All the "Lessons Learned" were lessons I had learned in my life, and hope that my children will learn. That was what I wanted to give the world–beautiful, Godly life lessons presented in a format that made it easier to digest. "A spoonful of sugar," as Mary Poppins would sing. I really wanted the show to be more than just entertaining. And everyone, from my artistic team members to the actors to the parents who worked behind the scenes, saw that too, and treated the musical like my newborn baby. I cannot thank them enough.

So what's next, besides all the work I still have cut out for me? Well, I have the first drafts of a script and songs for a new musical. I'm a little nervous about this one, because it's very different from Five Children and It, but I'm also so excited about. So back to step one for me! Writing, rewriting, a read-through, rewriting again... and maybe in a year or two you'll hear about the birth of another musical!

Christmas Ideas!

For several Christmases now, my family has had our Christmas traditions. I've shared them before, but I always want to share them again in case someone is in search of an idea to start with his/her family!

- Wrap Christmas picture books and put them under the tree. Every day a child chooses a book and unwraps it for our story time. (You can wrap 24 books, or you can wrap a few at a time.  If you don't have a lot of Christmas books, borrow from the library... just be sure to wrap those first so that they can be returned promptly!) Here are some of our favorite Christmas books: Our Favorite Christmas Stories!

- Hang up twelve pairs of Christmas socks and put Bible verses, ornaments, and candy in them. All through December, we count down to Christmas Day by taking down a sock and reading through the story of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus's birth. 

- Make an edible treat and drop them off at your dentist's office or other local businesses. 

- Do some old-fashioned door-to-door Christmas caroling.

- Put out some snacks for the mail carrier and delivery people. They're busy this time of year! (the photo on the left shows the little basket that sits out on our front step, right under the mail box)

- Introduce yourself to a person of a different age group at your church. Invite them over!

- Keep extra gloves, socks, hats, granola bars, and restaurant gift cards in your car to give out to homeless people.

What do you do to reach out during the holiday season? Please share! I'd love to hear from you!

43 Years Young

Yesterday was my birthday, which always makes me contemplate. Could I count the last year as a success? And by success, I don't mean, Did I make more money, did I write more books, or did I lose those 10 pounds? These are the types of questions I ask myself:

Am I a better parent than I was a year ago?

Is my marriage better than it was a year ago?

Do I love people better?

Have I gained more wisdom and learned more about God?

I'm glad to say that last year was a successful one, especially after the rough parenting and wife-ing moments and strange, blah birthday of 2020, and it was because I took these 3 things to heart.

1) Make every day count. I lost 4 friends in the past 2 years, all of whom were under the age of 43. I can groan about getting older, or I can see it as a blessing.

2) Our Triune God is the God of love and community. After reading Michael Reeve's wonderful (and easy-to-digest) book Delighting in the Trinity, I stopped picturing God as a lone person sitting out in the vast emptiness of space. No, He is in constant community with the Son and the Spirit! And that is how He wants us to live–ever giving, ever loving, ever connected to other people.

3) Live in love, not in fear. I used to be afraid of what people thought of me. In my heart I wanted to care for people, but I couldn't step out of my comfort zone to do so. But then I realized that "I'm shy" or "I'm an introvert" or "I don't know what to say" are just selfish excuses, because I was focused on myself more than on the other person. And if I want to "make every day count" and be like my Father, "the God of love and community", I need to stop making these excuses and start exercising my "love muscle." And it IS like exercise! In 2020, after months of not having people over, I found it extremely hard to think of cooking for guests! And having people over simply wiped me out! It was a strange feeling, and it showed me how easy it is to fall into a pattern of complacency. But if I exercise the muscles of hospitality, generosity and compassion, they grow stronger! What was difficult to do a year ago is easier now! And will be even easier next year!

So here's to another year of growing in wisdom and building up my love muscles! The older I get, the more I live in the reality of being the daughter of the King!

We love because He first loved us. ~I John 4:19 NIV

Food for Our Souls

My dad could have been a musician.

But growing up in Hong Kong, he was cooking for his family by the time he was twelve and supporting himself through college. As an adult, he still had a desire to learn the piano and study music theory (and for the longest time, we had two old violins that moved with us from house to house), but he never found the time.

My mom too could have been a musician.

I would hear her singing as she worked in the kitchen, her soprano voice ringing through the house. But her father was a portrait photographer who worked out of his family's small apartment, and her mom was an illiterate child-bride, so my mom relied on scholarships just to get through school.

It was through the church that my parents found an outlet for their love of music. They both became Christians in high school, and singing hymns was the perfect way for their hearts to express the musical joy that they had always felt. And when my sister and I came along, my parents made it a priority to buy a piano and find us piano teachers.

Today, I'm a piano teacher and music teacher. If not for my music teachers when I was young, I may not have had the chance to develop my skills. And I think often of my parents as children, and other children who are in situations like theirs. When I see my children (or anyone else's children) sing and dance on stage and I see the pure joy and the free innocence on their faces, my eyes always fill with tears. I know that this is what heaven will be like. And I want to give ALL children that bit of heaven on earth.

Music and the arts may not be the most practical skill, but I have learned from our "Covid" season that though we may look to science and medicine to heal our bodies, we must look to the arts to heal our souls. Music is one of the signs that we are more than robots and machinery; simply putting food in us and fighting off disease is not enough to keep humans alive–we need beauty to thrive! More than that, God gave us the wondrous gift of music, and music is a gift we can give back to God! The Bible is full of verses that say "sing to the Lord" and "make music to the Lord"!

So think of ways that you can grow the next generation of artists and musicians. You don't need to be an award-winning professional. You just need to have the love and the desire to pass on this love. Support the arts by attending youth events or donating to non-profits like Christian Youth Theater (shameless plug here: CYT Tri-valley). Ask the young painters, singers, writers, and dancers in your life about what they do. Remember, the arts are more than extracurricular or "just a hobby" or steps towards a job or career. Music and the arts are essential to our beings; they are food and medicine for our souls!

No More Excuses

In my new book, I make a lot of confessions. Here's one I didn't include:

I'm afraid to talk to new people.

This morning, as we gathered for in-person indoor worship for the first time in over a year, I was so nervous about the many new faces filling the sanctuary. I wanted to stick close to people I knew, or busy myself with something and avoid eye contact. Just the thought of talking to someone new makes my heart race, my palms sweat, and my mind go blank. 

And I used to let that be my excuse.

"I'm just shy. That's who I am."

"They don't want to talk to me. I'll wait for someone to come over to me."

"It's easier to hang out by the food table and keep putting food in my mouth so I don't have to talk to people."

But guess what? God still calls me to love people, to reach out, and to build community. And He has all the tools I need to grow in this arena.

No more excuses. 

So, this morning, I made it my goal to meet one new person before I left. And I did it! I walked straight up to a new person and introduced myself.

Sometimes I'm talking to parents and I hear them say things similar to what I used to say about being shy. 

"I could never do what you do."

"I just don't have the patience."

"You were meant to have eight kids. I wasn't."

There was a time when I believed these too! I would watch how another mom handled a situation and think, "I could never..."

But I have learned over the years that God calls me to be the best mom my kids can have. He has all the tools I need to grow as a parent. So whether I am getting to know my newborn, or I'm figuring out new ways to be organized, or I'm learning patience–again and again and again–God's got me covered. 

No more excuses.

(Read more about my parenthood journey in my book, Dirtying My Sleeves!)

What I've Learned during Covid

Recently, I learned something about myself.

I walked into the kitchen and saw a mountain of pots and pans in the sink, leftover from breakfast and lunchtime. 

Ugh, I said to myself. I knew I had to tackle them before dinner prep started. 

I took a step toward the sink, my eyes locked on the dishes, daring them to look away...  and I lost the staring contest.  I turned and decided I'd rather bake something instead (even if that meant more dishes.) 

Then, while the pumpkin pasties were in the oven, awaiting my consumption, I started washing and cleaning up. Funny, how at that point, I didn't mind doing the dishes.

What did I learn?

That it's not the kitchen that I like, but the food. I'm not really in the kitchen unless there is en enticing, tasty reason to be.

Here is something else I've learned from these recent months: what is essential, and what is merely an inconvenience.

Wearing a mask is an inconvenience, when people are losing their jobs and losing their loved ones.

Writing a card and putting it in the mail, or baking banana bread and dropping it off at someone's house, is an inconvenience, when there are people who are lonely and missing friends and family.

Packing up enough fold-up chairs for a family of 10, along with toys, crayons, and lunches for the little ones as we attend the 11:00 outdoor service is an inconvenience, when it means that we can gather with our church family for worship.

Do you see what I mean?

Even today, when the sun was shining too brightly and the black top started warming up to uncomfortable temperatures, I thought to myself, "This is merely an inconvenience! What is better than being with my church family on Palm Sunday?!"

And I pray that you learn this lesson too. There are so many non-essential details in life that we can complain about, but if we really focus on what is important, we will find that those details don't really matter anymore.

What have you learned during this Covid time?

The Big "What-Ifs"

In the past two years...

a friend lost a husband,

a friend lost a wife,

a friend lost a child,

a friend lost a parent to cancer,

and a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.

This is basically my list of the Big "What-Ifs". 

Other what-ifs aren't so scary. My husband could lose his job–no biggie, been there, done that. Our house could burn down; that's just stuff, stuff comes and stuff goes.

But to lose my husband, my child, my parent, or my health... I have to ask myself, "Would I start doubting God's love and faithfulness? Would I turn from him? or doubt his existence? How would I respond?" And these things could happen to me. Four of these five friends are my age. 

Seeing my friends go through these heart-breaking, soul-crushing times have been the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. The only thing harder would be experiencing them myself. 

But–if this is any comfort to people going through a hardship right now–it's because of my friends that I'm no longer afraid of the Big "What-Ifs." 

Because I've seen my friends go through these times, and come out the other side.

Because I've seen how their faith carried them along when they had no strength left.

Because I've seen our church family surround my friends with love and care.

And because I've seen the Savior cover them in His wings and draw them near, even when He felt the most distant and silent.

There are some changes coming in the next few months for my family, and thinking about the unknown always causes a ball of anxiety to collect in the pit of my stomach. 

But I don't have to be afraid. God is the faithful Shepherd, and through green pastures or the Valley of the Shadow of Death, He is always with me.

Caring for Your Pastor's Wife

"Oh, so you're Nathan Baird's wife."

Those words make me nervous. That's because my husband is a pastor. His face is on our church website. He gets up and speaks in front of people. 

I'm usually just doing my thing–watching my little ones, helping out in the nursery, baking desserts for the high school events. But once I hear those words, "Nathan Baird's wife", I start wondering, "What sort of expectations are tied in with that?" This didn't bother me when my husband was a teacher. Or when he was a graphic designer. Hearing those words then usually meant the person is looking forward to get to know me, because they already know my husband. But when I'm at church and I hear those words, I imagine that the person thinks he/she has already figured me out.

Because you have to admit that in Christian circles, there are expectations of what a "pastor's wife" should look like or act like: she's put together, always smiling and welcoming, her children are quiet and well-behaved, and she leads the choir, cook for potlucks, and teaches Sunday School. In some churches, the "pastor's wife" is treated like the First Lady (in some churches, the pastor's wife is called the "First Lady"!) In some churches, the "pastor's wife" is an unspoken job description (my mom, also a pastor's wife, says it's like a "two-for-one deal.")

I'll say this outright–I hate it.

Growing up as a "pastor's kid" (also known as a "PK"), I hated the burden put on on family simply because of my father's position. I agree that as a Christian leader, my father is an example for others, but this usually led his congregation to believe two things: 

1) he NEVER makes mistakes or does anything wrong

2) his family are perfect leaders too

As a PK, I played piano, then ran and taught Sunday school, then ran back to play the last two songs in the service. I led the youth group while still a youth myself. It was assumed that I didn't need discipleship or guidance. My mom, a quiet, introverted woman, was not a natural leader. Sometimes if felt like were thrown into the arena with the lions. Simply said, this did not promote spiritual growth in me or my siblings. I'm sure it didn't help my mom either.

So now, as a pastor's wife myself, I want to share with you some insight on how you can care for a pastor's wife.

1) Give her time.

One of the hardest tasks is juggling church activities while raising children. In some cases, the children get the short end of the stick. Give a pastor's family time to just be together, at home. They shouldn't spend every evening at the church building. They don't need to attend every church event. And remember that Sunday is a work day for a pastor, so his wife is juggling children alone. She should not be pressured to take on another task on a Sunday morning. Nor in the afternoon. She may need that time to nap and rest. Pastors and their wives need a Sabbath too.

2) Give her space.

I know a pastor's wife who is a professional artist (you've probably bought greeting cards designed by her!) I know a pastor's wife who quietly serves and reaches out to people, but would prefer not to speak in front of people. And I know one who has a beautiful singing voice and is a wonderful worship leader.

We all have different gifts. Some find it easy to interact with people, others find it draining. Some love to teach the Word, others are still learning. A pastor's wife loves people (as all Christians are called to love people), but how she does it will look different from person to person. Give the woman space to grow in her gifts and figure out how best she can serve the church.

But whatever she chooses to do (or chooses NOT to do), her job first and foremost is to be a pastor's wife in the truest sense–she is vital support for her husband. She should not be so loaded down with duties that she is distracted from her role as a wife.

3) Give her courage.

The word "encourage" has two parts: "to put in" and "courage or heart." You can give a pastor's wife courage by encouraging her. Pastor's wives may look confident and strong, but they doubt themselves just like everyone else. They feel discouragement and despair just like everyone else. They may feel unsure of themselves, or unsure of their ministry within in the church. But when you see them on a Sunday, they will still give you a big smile and say that everything is okay.

So encourage them in all they do as a mother, wife, servant, leader, and Christ follower. Tell them that they are doing a great job. Make time for real conversation; ask about her heart. This is not the time to ask about her "job" or make her feel like you're "checking up" on her. Instead of "How is Sunday school going?", ask "How is your marriage?", "What are you learning from the Word?" or "Are you feeling joyful? rested? peaceful?" She may not answer (a pastor's wife is always in the difficult position of knowing how much to divulge), but she will be encouraged to know that someone is seeing her beyond her role as "the pastor's wife."

4) Give her grace.

What if the pastor's wife said something unkind? What if she got impatient? What if she yelled at her kids? What if she cried? Would this make you uncomfortable? A pastor's wife is a woman like every other woman. Don't treat her like she is Superwoman, or God.

I am so grateful that my church does not pressure me to do anything I don't want to do. As a pastor's wife, I want to be acting out of love, not out of obligation. Think about how your church views the role of the pastor's wife. Is there something that needs to be changed?

The Fruit of the Spirit is...

LOVE!

You've probably noticed that I haven't been writing a whole lot. Life feels rather ho-hum right now. Christmas is over, winter rains and cloudy days are upon us. More and more friends are moving out of state. And while I don't feel like life is "on hold" just because much of California is still shut down, it takes more energy than usual just maintaining normal interactions. Most of my free time is spent making cards, cooking meals for those in need, doing front porch visitations (with cookies!), and trying to come up with other ways to keep our spirits up and to encourage people. Our Christmas tree is still up, just to bring bring some cheer.

Imagine my surprise today when we heard a knock on the door. Standing outside was a friend whom I haven't seen in months! And in her hands was a box, mysteriously labeled "Fruit of the Spirit Project." She handed me the box and told me (also mysteriously) that was a part of something she's doing.

I gasped when I opened the box!

Inside was an envelope labeled "Love" (with a letter inside), a heart-shaped cookie, heart-shaped chocolates, a face mask, a prayer journal, a blank greeting card with a stamped envelope, heart-shaped stickers, a rose-shaped bath bomb, and a decorative heart for hanging.

And this is not because Valentine's Day is coming up! This is what my friend wrote in her letter:

In this new year, the Lord put it on my heart to incorporate joy again into my life. Which we should all have, right? Being a social, creative person is my joy. Thus the idea of "The Fruit of the Spirit Project" came into mind.

My Word-loving friend found an amazing way to spread joy! What a great way to use her talents! Her goal is to design a box (one per month) for each of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Then she delivers the boxes to encourage people (like me) and remind us too to remain strong in the Word. With one simple box, I feel so loved, so cared for, and so encouraged in the midst of these dark and lonely days!

So I encourage you too to start your own "Fruit of the Spirit" project. Maybe you can do this with family to give to your friends and neighbors. What can you think of to put in a "love" box?

(I will share with you what comes in each box as they arrive!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Wishing a very happy Thanksgiving season to you and your family!

Popping the Bubble

Over the years, I had found that being a homeschooling mom who works from home and whose husband is a pastor means that my world can be very small. If you draw a Venn diagram of my friends and acquaintences, it would look more like one big circle instead of several overlapping circles.

Sheltering in place with Covid has not helped. The longer I stay home, the easier it gets to ignore the world around me and focus on my own little bubble of happiness.

Then recently, my family joined our church for an outdoor evening service. It felt a little strange at first, sitting in the parking lot, on a lawn chair, in a chalk-drawn circle, singing with masks on. But I started looking around me.

And this is what I saw: what used to be done inside a building, behind walls and out of sight, was now being done in the open. People were gathered, singing and praying together. Everyone who drove by, biked by, walked by, or flew by could see us worshipping God. They could see me worshipping God! I was always shy about worshiping and praying in public, even when inside with people I know, and now I was doing it outside.

If nothing else, Covid has brought God's people all around our country out of their buildings. And I hope that we are doing more than just singing in parking lots. Let's get out of our bubbles! What can you do today?

Though this is not my home...

I apologize for not having written since... June?! Has it been that long?!

If it helps at all, I started a post in July, then put it on hold. AND I've been using my quarantine time to finish my new book, which I hope will be available to you al before the end of the year!

Other projects I've been doing during this time are:

-making cards for residents at the nearby assisted living facility

-trying new recipes, like ube ice cream (yum!)

-doing crafts with the kids

-reading stories to the kids and teaching my five-year-old to read

And just yesterday, I decided to landscape the front yard.

Now, those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that my family rent our home, and over the years, I've always had to tell myself, "Don't get too attached. You'll only be here for a few years."

This was partly for my own good. When I first got married, after having moved from house to house all my life, I dreamed of buying a home and living in it until I died. When our attempts to purchase a house failed several times, I had to let that dream go. God taught me that my home is not found in a location, but in the people in my life–my husband, my children, my friends, and my church.

But the down side of a "temporary" home is that I didn't want to invest in anything long term.

"Should I start a garden? Nah, we might have to move in the summer."

We always knew that the owners of this house plan to move in some day. When they deiced to chop down the only tree in the front yard, there wasn't anything I could do abut it. When the sprinkler system broke and the lawn died, I just thought, "Oh well." Every summer, when the lease-end date approached, I found it harder and harder to put my energy into the house.

Then this year, the owners gave us a two-year lease. And maybe it's because I'm feeling listless for the lock-down, or maybe I just grew tired of looking at my dead lawn, but I decided to beautify the front of the house. Even with only a few pots of fruit trees and bright flowers and several bags of mulch, I was able to make my brown yard into something colorful, cheery, and life-giving.

And here's the lesson I learned as I stepped back to look at the beautiful greenery:

Just because a home is temporary doesn't mean I shouldn't care. It's easier to be apathetic and do nothing, but I can add to the beauty, no matter where I am.

And that goes for my temporary home on earth too. There are days (especially in recent months) when I just want to say, "I don't care anymore." I know that life here is short and something better awaits for me. So why try to fix anything here on earth?

But God wants us to be His hands and feet here. He wants us to bring beauty and light to the world, though sometimes we would rather hide for the darkness. Even if I live to be 101, I want to always be doing what I can to share God's love and joy with others.

How can you add to the beauty today?

Is This What It's Like to Be Afraid of People?

I went shopping at Costco today, with my mask on, of course. As I was pushing my cart towards the rotisserie chickens (dinner for tonight), I noticed an older gentleman looking at me. 

No, he was staring at me.

I tried to give him a friendly smile, but that's hard to do, with a mask on.

He finally stopped looking at me and went back to his shopping, but it made me think, 

"What was going on in his mind?"

Was he thinking I was one of the Chinese responsible for bringing over the Coronavirus? Was he thinking I should go back to my country?

And once that thought was in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if other shoppers saw me that way. They saw my black hair and dark eyes and yellow-toned skin and that was enough. Even if they caught the hint of a smile under my mask, it wouldn't matter to them. I was Chinese. Period.

But I was probably being overly dramatic. The man wasn't looking at me for more than a second; it just felt longer.

I continued with my shopping.

Then I passed an African-American woman. I tried to give her a small smile. Too late. She didn't see it. Or I mean, she didn't see my eyes crinkling in a friendly manner.

And what was she thinking then? That I didn't smile at her because I don't like African-Americans? That I looked down at her because of her skin color?

My mind couldn't stop. The next thing I knew, I was in a shopping cart traffic jam in the bread aisle.

Then I remembered about social distancing!

Did these people think I was being irresponsible? Were they mad because I wasn't keeping my distance? Did they want me to stay away?

Fortunately, at this point I ran into a friend from church. We started talking about his baby coming in July and baking bread at home. I forgot about the questions in my head and thought more about how to care for my friend and his family.

Fear can be contagious; it can spread through a crowd quicker than Covid-19. As I finished my shopping trip, I realized that I had had a glimpse of what it would be like to live in a world of fear, to be afraid of people–the very people that Jesus commands us to love.

"Love your neighbor" sounds easy when we talk about it from the comfort of our living rooms. If you asked me if I was a kind person, I would say "yes." But deep down, if I dare to admit it, loving my friend is one thing, while loving my enemy is a totally different thing.

Jesus doesn't see it as two different cases though. His love for a friend is the same as his love for an enemy.

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)

A neighbor may be your friend... or he may be your enemy.

My pastor asked this question last Sunday, "Which of these people would you help–a rioter? A first responder? A scared neighbor?"

It's good to ask ourselves these questions:

If someone spray painted nasty words on my store front, would I help this person if I saw him/her lying on the street?

If someone made threats against my family, would I still help this person if he/she was injured?

If a neighbor ignored me every day, would I still offer help when I saw him/her struggling with something?

Will I allow myself to be ruled by fear, or ruled by love?

Renewed Joy in Serving

Serving in the church has been a part of my life since my childhood. Being the daughter of a pastor meant I was at church all the time. As soon as I was big enough, I was asked to help sweep, clean toys, and set up chairs. When my parents noticed my musical gifts and my love for children, I was asked to play piano and help in Sunday School. For the most part, I was always happy to help. As a young Christian entering my high school years, I continued to serve faithfully–every Sunday–because I was doing what I loved.

But then something changed in my college years. My dad planted a church. And I started serving for the wrong reasons. Sometimes I was filling a hole. Sometimes I enjoyed the attention and the praise. Sometimes I served because it was what I did on Sundays, like a job. I didn’t pray about how I should serve, or ask God to guide me. Soon, I grew weary, bitter, and discontent.

A decade later, married with young children and attending Valley Bible Church, I sat listening as Gary Darnell taught on Ephesians 4. I finally learned the purpose of serving: “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (v. 12). This image of “building up the body” is repeated in the chapter:

”Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

We are constantly bombarded with messages like “follow your heart”, “find your passion”, “do what makes you happy”. Previously I had fallen into the trap of chasing happiness by serving, happiness as the goal instead of a delightful outcome. But Christian joy in service comes when we partner with God in his care for his family, when we response to God’s message of grace and love. Maturing, we develop a deeper love for fellow brothers and sisters and for the Heavenly Father. As I grew in my faith, my original love for singing grew into a love to sing in order to bring people into a place of worship. My love for children and teaching grew into a love to unify the church through the Word and encourage the whole body to grow. 

I didn’t realize this growth in me until last year, when the pastor to women saw my love for hospitality and asked me to help with the women’s ministry Equip Day. I felt an urge to say “yes” because of this love. But I also hesitated because I didn’t want to fall into the old trap, to say “yes” just to fill a hole. And so I prayed and realized that to say “yes” would be to live in God’s will; it would be a way for me to encourage the body to grow. Though participating in Equip Day involved public speaking (something that I do not love), my greater desire to see the church body flourish empowered me to set aside my fear of public speaking.

Last week’s message in Romans 12 reminded me that my renewed joy in serving came when, through “sober judgment" (v.3) and a desire to benefit the body of Christ, I extended my gift of hospitality beyond simply doing something I love. God provided the “measure of faith” required to use my gift of hospitality to equip and build up my VBC family. And it was a joy!

(This post was originally published on Valley Bible Church's website, the VBC Blog.)

Purpose in the Futility

"Do I even need to get dressed anymore?"

A popular question nowadays. It makes me wonder if I'm being a bad mom for making my kids dress everyday, and more on Sundays.

But I get it. The novelty of wearing PJs all day (or at least pajama bottoms when we have conference calls) is diminishing. Here in California, we have been sheltering in place for 5 weeks, and for some of us, there just doesn't seem to be a purpose in our days anymore. We get out of bed... for what? Read some books, watch some TV, eat some food, look at the news on Covid-19, go back to bed, do it again the next day. 

If you are feeling this way–listless, bored, purposeless, teetering on the edge of depression–I hope to encourage you with stories of some well-known biblical heroes, namely Joseph, Esther, and Daniel.

Joseph was sold into slavery, living in Egypt, miles away from his family.

Esther, a Jewish girl growing up under Persian rule, was taken to be a part of the Persian king's harem.
Daniel was taken captive to live in Babylon under King Nebuchednezzar.

These three people all had reasons to be depressed. Their lives were turned upside down. They were far from their families. And they were in situations where they had to act under compulsion, or lose their heads. Surely they had days when they wondered, "Why? Why should I do this? Why should I even get up today?" It was difficult for them to see the purpose in what they were doing, or the purpose in what God was doing.

And yet, Joseph, Esther, and Daniel not only carried on, day by day, they excelled in their work. 

Joseph became the overseer of all his master's property.

Esther was chosen to be the new queen.
Daniel was a high advisor to king.

They had every reason to give in to their depression and trudge through their day, but they didn't. And God, with His purpose, used them in amazing ways! Genesis 39:3 tells us this about Joseph, "His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands." A few chapters later, the Bible tells us that "Pharaoh said to his servants, 'Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?'" (Genesis 41:38 ESV)

And what was the result?

Joseph's reputation proceeded him and he eventually became the overseer of Pharaoh's property and saved the kingdom from a famine.

Likewise, Esther did her queenly duties and found favor with  the King, saving the Jewish people from genocide.
Daniel faithfully served the King Nebuchadnezzar, and his son Darius, who decreed that the kingdom will serve only Daniel's God after Daniel survived the lions' den. 

These past five weeks, I've been tempted to give in to depression. I'm just a suburban mom, not a nurse or doctor on the front lines. I certainly won't be saving the world by teaching piano lessons and making videos of my family singing! But we don't know God's purpose in all this. Our story, like the stories of Joseph, Esther, and Daniel, is much bigger than us. God is with us, He does have a purpose, and we can excel in spite of the situation! We can shine His light!

Galatians 6:9-10 reminds us: "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

So here are some ideas to help you (as they have helped me) find purpose in your day:

1) Look heavenward and outward. Keep focused on God. Brainstorm ways to aid others.

1) Get out of your pajamas. What you wear can affect your mental outlook. 

2) Set up a plan to do something everyday–read the Bible,  call someone, or dig deeper into the Word with videos like the Bible Project.

3) Go outside and take in God's majesty. Take a walk. Or just step out onto your front step and look up at the sky. Read a book or eat lunch outside. The change of scenery and the fresh air will revive you.

4) Find reasons to celebrate: birthdays, half-birthdays, losing a first tooth, whatever! 

3) Send cards of encouragement, especially to those who are alone. Many residents in senior care homes cannot leave their rooms at this time. There are also people hurting in deeper ways right now. My friend's wife is in hospice care, and he can only visit her from afar. And I can't even offer a shoulder for him to cry on! Another friend's daughter is a first year out of medical school. She is caring for Covid-19 patients and recently lost her first patient. A gentle note reminds them that they are not alone.

4) Pick up a new hobby. Then use the new hobby to encourage people. My friend Angie has always wanted to learn how to watercolor, so she looked up some YouTube videos and started making these!

5) Healthcare workers, delivery people, and others in essential businesses are working long, taxing hours. If you have neighbors in these fields, offer to help with their grocery shopping, or bring them a meal. Put out snacks, wrapped toilet paper, face masks, or hand sanitizer on your porch for delivery people to take with them.

6) Do some research and see how you can help locally. Our local shelter for abused women and children needs food donations. The blood bank still needs blood.

7) Many missionaries are seeing situations more dire than ours, where families are out of work and starving, or children are basically orphans because their family is in the hospital. Contact missionaries through your church, Compassion International, World Vision, or other Christian organizations and ask how you can help.

Growth

During a piano lesson one day, I was thinking about recitals and how far each of my students have come, when I recalled an incident from my years as a high school teacher.

It was my second year of teaching and I had been put in charge of the musical performances for graduation. No big deal. At the small private school I was teaching, I knew each senior by name and already knew who the strong singers were.

Then a senior named Kate approached me. She was friendly, gentle and kind, a girl who was content to be in the background. A quiet leader, I called her. She was a great role model in her class, and though not considered one of the "popular" students, she was loved by all. She had been doing some singing with me, and when she asked if she could sing at graduation, I said enthusiastically, "Yes!" She wasn't a strong singer, but I didn't make my decision based on that; I made it based on her character.

And then it was my job to stand up for my decision. With barely two years of experience under my belt, some other teachers felt that I shouldn't have made that call, but I stood by Kate. I knew how she'd grown the past year. I knew the courage it took for her to even get up on a stage. I knew that the song she was singing may not sound as good as some other girl singing it, but it would have more meaning. 

We still live in a culture that pressures us to look a certain way or act a certain way. We see photos of "the rich and famous" and aspire to be like them. We want to impress people, or we want our children to impress people. We compare, measure, and compare some more. But-

it is not the face you show the world for 5 minutes that counts,

it's who you are consistently when no one is watching.

it's not always the end goal that matters most,

it's also the journey you took to get there.

Growth is not looking at a tree and saying, "Wow! Look how tall it is!"

Growth is looking at a tree and saying, "Wow! That used to be a tiny seed! Look how tall it's become!"