Where “Yes" May Lead You

Twenty-seven years ago, God asked me to work with teenagers, and I said "yes."

There's a story that leads up to that moment (which I won't share with you today), but what was most surprising was:

1) I was twenty, so barely out of the teens myself,

2) I never had the desire to work with teens. In fact, I was a little afraid of them, having had not-the-best junior high and high school experience,

3) I had my doubts. I had no "training." I had no clear direction.

Nevertheless, I said "yes," without knowing where that "yes" would lead me.

Soon after, I started a leading a small youth group at my church.

After graduating from college, I was hired as a French teacher at a private junior/senior high school.

Then I got married, became a mom, and spent about the next twelve years or so NOT around teens. I was hanging out with other toddler moms, chatting it up about nap schedules and cloth diapers.

And I forgot about my "yes," until I got involved in my teenagers' youth theater company (how this happened is another great story).

What a shock! I never would have imagined that I would be teaching music to teens and directing them in shows. And the best part is that I love it! I love working with teenagers and being a supportive adult in their lives.

But along with the highs come the lows.

Two years ago, a lovely, spunky eleven-year-old came to audition for Moana Jr. She then went on to be in The Wizard of Oz and The Sound of Music, making many friends along the way. Shortly after her third show, she was diagnosed with brain cancer, and two weeks ago, she lost that battle. This was heart-breaking news for everyone in our company.

Twenty-seven years ago, I wouldn't have pictured myself in a bedroom, strumming a guitar through tears, leading a small group of girls in singing Christmas carols, witnessing the final moments of their friend's time on earth. I couldn't have imagined our time afterwards in the foyer, crying and holding each other for comfort. And I never would have known that in working with this young girl, I would be asked to sing songs with her friends at her memorial service.

Her service is tomorrow. I feel nervous and anxious. I put my two-year-old to bed, then lay next to her for a few extra moments just to pray. I ask God for peace. And I hear this song in my head.

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine...

And that's all God is asking from me when I say "yes."

Food for Our Souls

My dad could have been a musician.

But growing up in Hong Kong, he was cooking for his family by the time he was twelve and supporting himself through college. As an adult, he still had a desire to learn the piano and study music theory (and for the longest time, we had two old violins that moved with us from house to house), but he never found the time.

My mom too could have been a musician.

I would hear her singing as she worked in the kitchen, her soprano voice ringing through the house. But her father was a portrait photographer who worked out of his family's small apartment, and her mom was an illiterate child-bride, so my mom relied on scholarships just to get through school.

It was through the church that my parents found an outlet for their love of music. They both became Christians in high school, and singing hymns was the perfect way for their hearts to express the musical joy that they had always felt. And when my sister and I came along, my parents made it a priority to buy a piano and find us piano teachers.

Today, I'm a piano teacher and music teacher. If not for my music teachers when I was young, I may not have had the chance to develop my skills. And I think often of my parents as children, and other children who are in situations like theirs. When I see my children (or anyone else's children) sing and dance on stage and I see the pure joy and the free innocence on their faces, my eyes always fill with tears. I know that this is what heaven will be like. And I want to give ALL children that bit of heaven on earth.

Music and the arts may not be the most practical skill, but I have learned from our "Covid" season that though we may look to science and medicine to heal our bodies, we must look to the arts to heal our souls. Music is one of the signs that we are more than robots and machinery; simply putting food in us and fighting off disease is not enough to keep humans alive–we need beauty to thrive! More than that, God gave us the wondrous gift of music, and music is a gift we can give back to God! The Bible is full of verses that say "sing to the Lord" and "make music to the Lord"!

So think of ways that you can grow the next generation of artists and musicians. You don't need to be an award-winning professional. You just need to have the love and the desire to pass on this love. Support the arts by attending youth events or donating to non-profits like Christian Youth Theater (shameless plug here: CYT Tri-valley). Ask the young painters, singers, writers, and dancers in your life about what they do. Remember, the arts are more than extracurricular or "just a hobby" or steps towards a job or career. Music and the arts are essential to our beings; they are food and medicine for our souls!

The Fruit of the Spirit is...

 JOY!

Last month, I shared about the "Fruit of the Spirit Project," started by a friend of mine. Every month, she delivers a box full of small gifts that represent one of the fruit of the Spirit. Last month was Love, and this month is Joy!

Two days ago, I received a box that contains an envelope labeled "Joy" (with a letter inside), a scented candle, a small macramé hanging, a tiny chick, chocolate bark, and an adorable fake succulent in a little pot. As cute as my new tiny succulent is, I think the best part of the box is the letter my friend writes. She reminds me that trials will come in life, but as Christ followers we can "count it all joy when you fall into various trials." (James 1:2) Life right now is not easy; we are all carrying heavy burdens of different shapes and sizes. But we can see it from a different perspective: there is a unique joy that results from our most difficult times.

Is there someone in your life that needs this reminder too? Are there people you know who could use some encouragement today? Consider starting your own "Fruit of the Spirit Project" to spread the joy!

The Fruit of the Spirit is...

LOVE!

You've probably noticed that I haven't been writing a whole lot. Life feels rather ho-hum right now. Christmas is over, winter rains and cloudy days are upon us. More and more friends are moving out of state. And while I don't feel like life is "on hold" just because much of California is still shut down, it takes more energy than usual just maintaining normal interactions. Most of my free time is spent making cards, cooking meals for those in need, doing front porch visitations (with cookies!), and trying to come up with other ways to keep our spirits up and to encourage people. Our Christmas tree is still up, just to bring bring some cheer.

Imagine my surprise today when we heard a knock on the door. Standing outside was a friend whom I haven't seen in months! And in her hands was a box, mysteriously labeled "Fruit of the Spirit Project." She handed me the box and told me (also mysteriously) that was a part of something she's doing.

I gasped when I opened the box!

Inside was an envelope labeled "Love" (with a letter inside), a heart-shaped cookie, heart-shaped chocolates, a face mask, a prayer journal, a blank greeting card with a stamped envelope, heart-shaped stickers, a rose-shaped bath bomb, and a decorative heart for hanging.

And this is not because Valentine's Day is coming up! This is what my friend wrote in her letter:

In this new year, the Lord put it on my heart to incorporate joy again into my life. Which we should all have, right? Being a social, creative person is my joy. Thus the idea of "The Fruit of the Spirit Project" came into mind.

My Word-loving friend found an amazing way to spread joy! What a great way to use her talents! Her goal is to design a box (one per month) for each of the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Then she delivers the boxes to encourage people (like me) and remind us too to remain strong in the Word. With one simple box, I feel so loved, so cared for, and so encouraged in the midst of these dark and lonely days!

So I encourage you too to start your own "Fruit of the Spirit" project. Maybe you can do this with family to give to your friends and neighbors. What can you think of to put in a "love" box?

(I will share with you what comes in each box as they arrive!)

Though this is not my home...

I apologize for not having written since... June?! Has it been that long?!

If it helps at all, I started a post in July, then put it on hold. AND I've been using my quarantine time to finish my new book, which I hope will be available to you al before the end of the year!

Other projects I've been doing during this time are:

-making cards for residents at the nearby assisted living facility

-trying new recipes, like ube ice cream (yum!)

-doing crafts with the kids

-reading stories to the kids and teaching my five-year-old to read

And just yesterday, I decided to landscape the front yard.

Now, those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that my family rent our home, and over the years, I've always had to tell myself, "Don't get too attached. You'll only be here for a few years."

This was partly for my own good. When I first got married, after having moved from house to house all my life, I dreamed of buying a home and living in it until I died. When our attempts to purchase a house failed several times, I had to let that dream go. God taught me that my home is not found in a location, but in the people in my life–my husband, my children, my friends, and my church.

But the down side of a "temporary" home is that I didn't want to invest in anything long term.

"Should I start a garden? Nah, we might have to move in the summer."

We always knew that the owners of this house plan to move in some day. When they deiced to chop down the only tree in the front yard, there wasn't anything I could do abut it. When the sprinkler system broke and the lawn died, I just thought, "Oh well." Every summer, when the lease-end date approached, I found it harder and harder to put my energy into the house.

Then this year, the owners gave us a two-year lease. And maybe it's because I'm feeling listless for the lock-down, or maybe I just grew tired of looking at my dead lawn, but I decided to beautify the front of the house. Even with only a few pots of fruit trees and bright flowers and several bags of mulch, I was able to make my brown yard into something colorful, cheery, and life-giving.

And here's the lesson I learned as I stepped back to look at the beautiful greenery:

Just because a home is temporary doesn't mean I shouldn't care. It's easier to be apathetic and do nothing, but I can add to the beauty, no matter where I am.

And that goes for my temporary home on earth too. There are days (especially in recent months) when I just want to say, "I don't care anymore." I know that life here is short and something better awaits for me. So why try to fix anything here on earth?

But God wants us to be His hands and feet here. He wants us to bring beauty and light to the world, though sometimes we would rather hide for the darkness. Even if I live to be 101, I want to always be doing what I can to share God's love and joy with others.

How can you add to the beauty today?

Renewed Joy in Serving

Serving in the church has been a part of my life since my childhood. Being the daughter of a pastor meant I was at church all the time. As soon as I was big enough, I was asked to help sweep, clean toys, and set up chairs. When my parents noticed my musical gifts and my love for children, I was asked to play piano and help in Sunday School. For the most part, I was always happy to help. As a young Christian entering my high school years, I continued to serve faithfully–every Sunday–because I was doing what I loved.

But then something changed in my college years. My dad planted a church. And I started serving for the wrong reasons. Sometimes I was filling a hole. Sometimes I enjoyed the attention and the praise. Sometimes I served because it was what I did on Sundays, like a job. I didn’t pray about how I should serve, or ask God to guide me. Soon, I grew weary, bitter, and discontent.

A decade later, married with young children and attending Valley Bible Church, I sat listening as Gary Darnell taught on Ephesians 4. I finally learned the purpose of serving: “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (v. 12). This image of “building up the body” is repeated in the chapter:

”Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

We are constantly bombarded with messages like “follow your heart”, “find your passion”, “do what makes you happy”. Previously I had fallen into the trap of chasing happiness by serving, happiness as the goal instead of a delightful outcome. But Christian joy in service comes when we partner with God in his care for his family, when we response to God’s message of grace and love. Maturing, we develop a deeper love for fellow brothers and sisters and for the Heavenly Father. As I grew in my faith, my original love for singing grew into a love to sing in order to bring people into a place of worship. My love for children and teaching grew into a love to unify the church through the Word and encourage the whole body to grow. 

I didn’t realize this growth in me until last year, when the pastor to women saw my love for hospitality and asked me to help with the women’s ministry Equip Day. I felt an urge to say “yes” because of this love. But I also hesitated because I didn’t want to fall into the old trap, to say “yes” just to fill a hole. And so I prayed and realized that to say “yes” would be to live in God’s will; it would be a way for me to encourage the body to grow. Though participating in Equip Day involved public speaking (something that I do not love), my greater desire to see the church body flourish empowered me to set aside my fear of public speaking.

Last week’s message in Romans 12 reminded me that my renewed joy in serving came when, through “sober judgment" (v.3) and a desire to benefit the body of Christ, I extended my gift of hospitality beyond simply doing something I love. God provided the “measure of faith” required to use my gift of hospitality to equip and build up my VBC family. And it was a joy!

(This post was originally published on Valley Bible Church's website, the VBC Blog.)

7 Ways to Make Every Day More Romantic

1) Share the story of how you met, and share it often. Share it with your children. Share it with your friends. Share it with other couples. Then ask the couple how they met!

2) Speak highly of your spouse. Compliment your spouse in front of him/her AND when he/she is not around. Praise your spouse in front of your children, your family, your neighbors, your co-workers.

3) Don't speak poorly of your spouse when he/she is not around. Praising your spouse one minute, then putting him/her down the next, does not build up your marriage.

4) Surprise your spouse with little things. Leave a note under the pillow. Do a chore that your spouse usually does. Bring home a treat when you have a chance to go out.

5) Hold hands. Sometimes, if your hands are full with children, chores,  and activities, the only time you have to hold hands is when you are lying wearily in bed together. But even so, you are making a connection, both physical and emotional.

6) Put down the phone and talk. You and your spouse may be sitting in the same room, but if you're looking at screens, then you're not really together. Turn off the computer, the TV, the phone, etc.

7) Be the first to say "I'm sorry." By this, I don't mean kowtowing and saying "Yes, yes, you're right, I'm wrong" all the time. After a disagreement or argument, ask yourself, "Was I unkind at all?" Maybe you yelled, or used a sarcastic tone, or were accusatory. Apologize for your wrong actions.

Good Medicine

My neighbor was recently hospitalized for pneumonia. When she came home, she was slower and weaker than before and had trouble walking and lifting things.

I started going over everyday to do little things for her: bring her homemade cornbread, take out her garbage, fix her toilet seat cover. I usually went alone, but on Sunday I brought my baby with me. He was in a cheery mood and I knew that I could just lay him on a bed while I do a few things.

At the door, my neighbor was surprised and delighted to see the baby! While I took out the garbage, I left the baby on the bed so he and my neighbor could have an exchange of smiles and conversation. And when it was time to leave, my baby kept talking all the way to the door. It was such a sweet moment.

Later, I told my husband about our little visit. My husband gave the baby a squeeze and said, "Good medicine. He is good medicine."

So parents, don't think that having children means you have to give up serving. Children are great conversation starters! Take your children to visit the elderly, take them to the store, take them to church, take them anywhere where there are people who are lonely. Ignore the popular opinion that children are a nuisance. They are good medicine– a blessing, a joy, a gift from God.

How I Discovered My Superpowers

"This looks like a job for… Rita Baird!"

Okay, the truth is, I've never said that. And there is no Bat Signal illuminating the sky (I wouldn't see it anyway, since I prefer to sleep as much as I can when it's dark) or Jimmy Olson calling me on his signal watch (unless my husband changes his name to Jimmy and suddenly decides to get an iWatch). But when a friend needs a place to sleep, or a home-cooked meal, or a babysitter, or just some extra loving, my call to action is four simple words:

Sure, come on over!

It's your birthday? I'll whip up some chocolate cupcakes!

Your kids are here for a playdate? I can make cookies or popcorn.

Having a hard week? I'll double dinner and drop off a potpie and visit with you for a bit.

Who knew that under this ordinary-suburban-mom exterior were these amazing superpowers lying dormant all these years? 

Tsk, you scoff. That's not a superpower. Almost anyone can do that!

Which is true. My superpowers are not elasticity, invisibility, or telekinesis; rather, they are hospitality, flexibility, generosity, and a love for baking. But still, not everyone has those qualities! And there are plenty of things that I can NOT do. So while other people have their talents, I have mine, and I have recently realized that just because my talents are commonplace doesn't mean they are not special. With my specific God-given skill set, I can do all I can in the here and now to serve the people I come in contact with. The best part? I didn't need to be zapped by gamma rays (and turn mean and green) or get bitten by a radioactive spider (ew! and ouch!) to use my superpowers!

So, what are your superpowers? How has God uniquely shaped you? How can you use your talents to serve and build His Kingdom? Is there a step of faith that you have hesitated to take? Is now the time? 

"With great power comes great responsibility," right?

Chosen and Loved

This morning, I heard stories from around the world, stories of children who live without clean water or nourishing food, without education, without health care. Some lived in fear, in places where girls could end up as prostitutes or bullets and bombs could harm and kill. And what do they have to look forward to? Nothing but the next day.

I've shared about Compassion before, but I was hit hard today as I watched a video of a girl receiving the news of her sponsorship for the first time. She cried as she laughed. Her mom cried. Her dad cried. And I couldn't help but cry myself. I had seen sponsorship as an opportunity to help a boy or girl; these children see sponsorship as an adoption. What I hadn't known was that children can sign up to be in the Compassion program before they are sponsored. This girl was already receiving the benefits of being in the program, but having a sponsor meant something completely different for her. It meant that she was chosen. She felt cared for. She felt loved. She looked forward to receiving letters from her sponsor. It's more than a chance to escape poverty; it's a relationship. 

Which reminded me of the joy I felt when I first realized that I was adopted by my Father. I found comfort in knowing that I was special. I had peace because I knew that Someone was watching out for me.

…even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ… In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us… as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things to him, things in heaven and things on earth. ~Ephesians 1:3-10

Being chosen. Being loved. There is nothing that satisfies our souls more deeply. And what's even better news, for many of Compassion's sponsored children, their earthly 'adoption' leads to their heavenly adoption. Compassion goes beyond feeding hungry stomachs and healing broken bodies.

Please take the time today to find out more about Compassion and child sponsorship. Click on this link for more information and to see the video I had mentioned: Compassion

It costs less that $50 a month. And it's much more than writing a check every month. 

Sunday Expectations

(This post is based on thoughts that are directly and indirectly connected to my last post on koinonia.)

Do you get annoyed when you order something at a restaurant and the waiter says, "Oh, we're out of that today"? Or when you are at a store and you wait and wait for service, and finally someone comes to help you?

We have an expectation of a certain quality of service when we enter an establishment, whether it is a restaurant, grocery store, or nail parlor, but (time for a heart check) do we have those same expectations when we enter our church building on Sundays?

Ask yourself these questions honestly:

-Would I be grumpy if there were no donuts and coffee at church?

-Would I complain if the music was different or someone other than the usual preacher gave the sermon?

-Would I be angry if there was no children's or youth program?

-Would I leave if the chairs were hard or the temperature too hot or cold?

Sadly, here in the United States, many church-goers (and I say church-goers because this includes those who go to church out of habit and those who are Christ-followers) have lived in comfort for so long that sometimes they treat our Sunday mornings like they would a trip to a restaurant. They go there expecting to be served and they have come to expect all churches to provide certain services. And if they don't receive it at one church, they simply go to another.

We, as Christ-followers, must remember to be gracious. If I can be gracious when I see a waiter running ragged to fill in for a sick co-worker, or when a store or restaurant is out of stock on an item, then I can certainly be even more gracious when it comes to Sunday mornings. If I simply remind myself that a church is NOT a place of business, then my expectations will also change. Why do we gather with other Christians? To serve one another, with the gifts that God has given us. It's our opportunity to care for people whom we don't see everyday. It's our chance to invite people into our family. It's koinonia.

So, what should we expect from our Sunday (or Saturday) worship time?

1) The church is full of broken people, all in need of a Savior. Though a person may look happy and healthy on the outside, his/her inside may be crying and looking for comfort. Go to church expecting to be used by God to meet someone's need.

2) The church is served mostly by volunteers. These are people who are giving their time and energy, on their own accord, to help make a Sunday morning service happen. Be grateful for those people (say "Thank you!" to the one who picks up the donuts every week) and be gracious when something happens and that person is not there to fulfill his/her role. Go to church expecting to serve those who are serving you!

3) Expect things to be different from week to week. The Church is not static, nor is it confined to a building. Missions trips, visitations, and pastors speaking at other churches are all a part of a healthy church body. If you are in search of a new church, I recommend visiting a church more than once to get a better feel for the life of that church body.

4) Expect God's spirit to fill the place with warmth and love whether or not there are coffee and donuts, a five-piece band, cushy chairs, or a top-notch, state-of-the-art childcare program. If you visit a church that has all of the above but is lacking in strong, Biblical teaching or a welcoming spirit, "all of the above" CANNOT fill that hole (and neither is it really a church then… it is a childcare facility that offers free food, live music, and a place to kick back.)

My Fishes and Loaves

There are times when I feel overwhelmed by the need I see in the world. When I am on the road and I stop at an intersection, I study the cars that "meet" me at this juncture and estimate how many people are in the cars, and how many families they represent, and how many stories and sadnesses they hold all together. Then I feel like the author of Ecclesiastes when he writes, "I saw the tears of the oppressed- and they have no comforter; power was on the side of the oppressors- and they have no comforter" (4:1).

Or if I simply sit on a Sunday and watch people as they come and go for the morning service, I see various groups, each with specific needs. There are the handicapped, the elderly couples or widows/widowers, young married couples, teenagers, dating couples, single parents, divorced parents, families with children, families without children, and all the children themselves– how could I possibly help them all?!

The temptation for me is to fall into utter hopelessness, or to veer to the other extreme: I want to do all that I can to help as many people as possible. Then I end up saying, "Yes, I can do that!" to everyone and everything until I collapse in an emotionally and physically-exhausted heap.

Gladly, that was the tendency of a much younger me. Since becoming a wife, a mother, and a more diligent follower of Christ, I have learned that it is not my task to save everyone. But neither is it my job to sit back and mope. And a great example of this is the story of the boy with the fishes and loaves (see Matthew 14, Mark 6, Luke 9, and John 6), which I read with my younger children earlier this week. Picture this...

It had been a long day. People had journeyed from all over to meet this man named Jesus, and among them was a boy. His mother had sent him to the Lake of Galilee to see what was going on there. And when he arrived, he was excited to see the healings and to hear the teachings of Jesus.

But it was still tiring to sit out in the sun for so many hours. The boy was grateful for the meal his mother had packed for him. No one else seemed ready to leave, and so the boy settled on a small rock and prepared to devour his five loaves of bread and two small fishes.

Then, just before he bit into a loaf, he heard some men talking.

"Even if we had eight month's worth of wages, we couldn't feed all these people!"

Jesus and his friends were going to try to feed everyone?! The boy looked around him. From his position on the hill, he could see the people stretch between him and the lake. Never before had the boy seen so many people! It would be impossible for anyone but Caesar to feed such a large crowd! What could anyone do but send the people home?

The boy lifted the loaf to his mouth again, ready to savor his mother's delicious bread, when he saw one of Jesus's friends come near. The man was scanning the crowd, asking here and there, "Do you have any food?"

The boy didn't know what to do. What difference would his two fishes and five loaves make? But maybe the man was asking for food because Jesus was hungry. The boy stood up.

"Excuse me, sir, I have some food."

The man quickly ran over. "How much do you have?"

"Only five loaves of bread and two fishes. But Jesus can have it all, if He wants."

The man heaved a tired sigh. "Okay, that's fine. Come with me then."

The boy gathered his basket and cloak and walked with the man towards the hill where Jesus sat. His heart pounded. He was going to share his food with Jesus! But what would Jesus think of such a meager meal? There was no turning back now. When they reached Jesus, the boy shakily held his basket out. Jesus smiled at the boy, took the basket, and held it up to the sky, giving thanks for the food.

Then Jesus did something the boy did not expect. Without taking any for himself, Jesus told his friends to pass the food out to the crowd. The boy watched as person after person was fed fish and bread, and even as he watched, he couldn't explain how this was possible. It took an hour for Jesus's twelve friends to pass out the food, and when everyone had had their fill, Jesus told the men to collect the leftovers– each returning with one big basketful!

The boy could have kept his food for himself. He could have shrugged his shoulders in pessimism or apathy because, logically, his food could not have fed more than three or four people at best.

But the little he had, he gave to Jesus. And it was Jesus who took that little and made it more. And He didn't make it 'just enough', He went above and beyond! Jesus is the God of abundance!

So I don't need to give in despair, nor do I need to take on the burdens of the world. When Jesus sees people driving in their cars or sitting in a church service, and He sees ALL their sadnesses and heartaches, He also sees a very different picture–one of joy and healing– "…for He Himself knew what he would do." (John 6:6) 

And the best part is that he invites me to take part in it, to have a front row seat, to be his right-hand man! Every thing I do, no matter how small, if I do it for Jesus, can be used (and multiplied) by Him to bless people. Which reminds me of one of my favorite verses:

Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. ~Colossians 3:17

I will give to God what little I have to give, by writing this post, or inviting a friend over, or watching someone's baby, or sending someone a card. Who knows how far reaching my one action can go when I allow God to be the One who saves, the One who makes abundance flow from nothing?

Caring for the Sparrows

My daughter rushed in from the backyard.

"Mom, there's a bird outside and it's hurt!"

I followed her out and saw my other children standing by some old branches. There, in the dirt, was a little sparrow. Its feathers were fluffed out, it was missing an eye, and it was sitting very still, as if it wanted to hide. I quietly walked over to it, and with little trouble, gently picked it up.

We brought the bird inside and prepared a box for it. As far I could tell, there wasn't much wrong with the bird. The eye injury was old and its wings weren't broken. But the little bird couldn't fly. My children were delighted with the prospect of a sparrow for a pet. They named it 'Cocoa' and watched over it as it tucked its head under a wing and took a nap.

But, a few hours later, delight turned to sorrow. Cocoa started to contort its body in distress, and soon, it was lying still in my daughter's hand. The children buried Cocoa outside (and somehow managed to misspell the name). I found my middle daughter crying later, and I let her cry. I told her that we did what we could, but we couldn't fix an internal problem. Nevertheless, the bird was able to rest (and die) in a warm, safe environment, and that it was good to care for living things, even if, in the end, we got nothing in return.

I'm saddened to think that our world doesn't always agree with that last statement. The more I read and hear about current trends, the more I see a shift in how we care for the weak, helpless, and needy. At the top of the list are the elderly, the disabled, the sick, and babies (born and unborn). Next on the list are neighbors, acquaintances, and family members who require more of our time, money, or energy. 

We as humans naturally find it easier to care for people who can care back. It is easier to love those who can give us something in return. But is that how God sees us? Is that how He sees the sparrows? No, God cares for the sparrows (see Luke 12:6) though the sparrows can do nothing for God. And in the same way, God loves us, though we are of no benefit to Him. In fact, God's love for us COST Him something– His own son. And He does shed tears for us when He sees us hurting.

My family didn't make any big sacrifices for the little sparrow (we didn't catch any disease or parasite, we didn't spend any money besides buying a bag of bird seed) but I am still glad for the reminder that we need to care for the 'sparrows', even if it is at great cost to us.

Rethinking Sunday Mornings

I haven't sat in service at my church for five weeks now. And I can't remember the last time I heard a full sermon. It comes with this season of life; I'm either nursing, or walking the halls trying to get the little one to sleep, or I'm serving in the nursery. This used to bother me, but not anymore.

But it bothers most parents with young children. My friends have two children under the age of two and they gave up on Sunday morning church services because it was more trouble than it was worth. 

"Or is it?" I ask. 

I understand that it's difficult for tired parents to choose to do something that will only make them feel MORE tired. I understand that most parents would like– scratch that– NEED a break. And I understand that parents, along with everyone else, need opportunities to rest, learn, grow and be fed. I, too, once thought, Why go to all the work of getting ready and driving to church, just to sit in a room away from everyone else? Or worse, spend an hour and a half chasing after an energetic baby in a non-baby proof environment? Why can't I just stay home and wait until my baby is older, when church will be easier for me?

I have since learned to see Sunday mornings from a different perspective.

Rather than ask, "What do I get from church on Sunday mornings?", I ask myself, "What can I give on Sunday mornings?" Then, as I drive to church, I pray that God will lead me to people who need encouragement and prayer. Oftentimes, I find people sitting by themselves in the church lobby, either because they are feeling ill, or they came to church with a family member out of obligation, or they also have young (but loud) children.  All I have to do is muster up the courage to sit and strike up a conversation with them (tip: cute babies are great ice breakers). Or there have been times when a new mom wanders into the nursing room looking for a quiet place to sit, when what she really needs is someone to talk to. Or take today, for example. I filled in as a substitute in the nursery and ended up having a great, God-centered conversation with the other volunteer. And I met new parents. AND I had the chance to love on the little ones. I was reminded that Sunday mornings are about relationships with people of all ages, especially people outside my usual circle. I can be a blessing, but only if I make the effort to go. And my one-year-old can be a blessing, but only when I make the effort to take him!

I know that I am not offering fellow parents an easy solution. And I certainly don't want to guilt-trip anyone into going to church. But if you are a parent who is nearly ready to give up on Sunday mornings, I encourage you to keep trying.  The trouble IS worth it, when you see it as a time of service and building up of the church body, and a way of establishing a pattern for your family. And remember, God can use this season to grow and refine you!

Taking Care of our Faith Family

I had a disheartening phone conversation on Saturday.

"They expect you to do all the work, but then they criticize you and talk behind your back," said my friend.

Who do you think she is talking about?

My friend has been a pastor's wife for forty years, and she is talking about her current church. And to add to the frustration of the burden of her "job", she is much discouraged because she has seen this behavior in multiple churches, over many years.

No church is perfect, because, hey, people are imperfect. I am not here to be critical of my friend's church. Part of taking care of our faith family is to NOT talk negatively about other churches (unless they are teaching false doctrine).

But I do feel burdened. Are stories such as this the norm when they should be the exception? The purpose of our faith family is to build each other up, not tear each other down! How else can we share God's love and glory to the rest of the world? But how many churches slip into a routine of work and stop seeking holiness? When was the last time we reexamined ourselves and our roles in our churches? I know that my friend was not talking about me and my church, but I also know that she COULD have been. How am I doing? Have I fallen into the "church is a business" trap? Or do I see the church as a convenience store or restaurant, where the "customer is always right"? And have I forgotten that the Church is not a building or corporation, but a family united by faith? How am I taking care of this family? Am I contributing to harmful talk or unbiblical attitudes?

I needed encouragement and I wanted answers, so I opened my Bible to the book of Romans. I went through every book up to the book of Revelation, and took note of several long passages that specifically addressed issues in the early church– commands concerning the family of God. These people were new at this; they had many problems because they were still seeing each other as Gentiles versus Jews, slaves versus freemen, male versus female. In short, they needed to learn to treat each other as family. So church leaders (mainly Paul and Peter) wrote them letters and painted for them a "family portrait" of sorts. From my study, I found that a healthy faith family (and biological family too!) need to have these ten qualities:

1) Acceptance and appreciation of individual's differences
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:3-5
How many of us like having a sibling that is always deemed as the more talented, more good-looking, and more important member of the family? In a healthy family, everyone has something to contribute, and no one is seen as being better than anyone else. Same with our faith family.

2) Devotion
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves... Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality… Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Romans 12: 10, 13, 15
Families are strongest when the members know that they will never be suddenly abandoned, no matter what. We need to be there for our faith family, even when times are rough and people are hard to love.

3) Not being judgmental or critical
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister… Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14: 13, 19
Unconditional love means doing what is best for the other person. Sometimes one must be critical (to teach, for example) because it will guide the person towards something better. This is edification. But usually when someone is critical, it is in the negative, and it is for selfish reasons rather that for unity.

4) Care
The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. I Corinthians 12:21-27
Family takes care of each other. Family would not stand by and watch one member suffer and not feel the pain too. In a healthy family, members put others first and make sacrifices to care for those in need.

5) Trust in leaders
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be build up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:11-16
Can you imagine a family where the children don't trust the parents? How could the parents ever teach and lead the children? There can be no joy in a home without trust. Similarly, the Church must trust that its leaders are hearing the Holy Spirit when they are making decisions, then let them do their job.

6) Honest communication
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "in your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:25-32
Any married person will tell you this: just because you speak the same language doesn't mean you are communicating. As George Bernard Shaw's famous quote says, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." Family members sometimes need to learn how to speak so that meaning, not just sounds, are conveyed to the other person. Even harder than that is learning how to speak in love and speaking to encourage, to communicate only to work through problems and not to gossip. Picture a family who never uses words as weapons. Their words soothe, comfort, and nourish. You WANT to be a part of that family.

7) Servanthood
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. I Peter 4:8-11
Everyone contributes what he/she can for the good of a family. When members work together and bear each other's burdens, a natural dependence grows, and with that, solidarity.

8) Love
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loves us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. I John 4:7-12
It seems obvious to say that a family needs love, but a person can focus so much on duty that love takes a back seat. #1-#7, if done without love, are meaningless.

9) Common Goal and Common Foundation
By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than then one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 3:10-11
Most families don't think about having a common goal or direction, but they should! It could be "to love our neighbors as ourselves" or "to share God's love with people of all ages." In a faith family, have a common is even more important. And of course, Christ is our one foundation. Without Him, we couldn't even call each other "family!"

10) Unity
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15
A family must strive to preserve unity. Division happens without help. Groups tend to segregate by age, background, gender, preferences (or we segregate on purpose: teenagers go here, singles here, and 65+ there). Family has to work to fight against disunion.

As you can see from the verses, these ten qualities are not stand-alone; they weave in and out of each other to make a beautiful covering for God's family, for just as Christ's blood covers us in grace, God's glory covers the Church so that we CAN achieve unity and peace. 

And now, I hope you are ENCOURAGED, as I have been, to continue to grow in Christ and to care for your faith family! Whether you are a "toe" or an "ear" in the body of Christ, I pray that we the Church can be a beacon of light in the present darkness!

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

Use Me Here

When I was in high school, I couldn't wait for college. When I was in college, I couldn't wait to graduate. While working part-time, I wanted something full-time. And when I was single, I wished I was married. 

One of the few regrets I carry with me now is that I wasted so much time when I was younger. Rather than seeing what God had for me in the present, I was always looking to the future. I can't honestly say that I helped any of my friends in high school. In college, I didn't point people towards Christ. And when I worked as a studio piano teacher, I taught with little expectation and little passion. Week after week, students came and went. We practiced the same scales, the same songs, and I always said, "See you next week!" while thinking "When do I get to go home?"

One day, "See you next week!" never happened. One of my adult students never came back, because she had suddenly passed away. And that was when it hit me.

I had missed my chance to be an influence in this woman's life. I had had several weeks of scheduled time, and I could have made the most of my weekly thirty minutes with her. But I didn't, because I was taking it all for granted. I was praying, "God, move me onto to something else," when I should have been praying, "God, use me here while I am here."

After that incident, I never looked back. I started seeking opportunities to show God's love, from simple notes to encourage people to great sacrifices of time and money. And now, though I have moments of wanting a break from my duties as mom and housecleaner, I don't spend my time pining for the days when my children will be grown. I love homeschooling. I love mentoring new moms, young single women, and newly-weds. I love asking the check-out person, "How's your day going?" I love cooking for people in need and people coming to visit. And I love sharing our home to people. God has given me so much, and I want to pass it ALL on.

Oftentimes, we forget that at every stage of life, God has a purpose for us. Maybe it's in our nature to be discontent. When we're young, we want to be older. When we're old, we want to be younger. Or maybe it's because we are bombarded by messages like "It'll be great when you retire!" or "Wait until the kids are out of the house!" Even when we are young, adults ask us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" We tell our children to strive for graduation, a driver's license, a job, an award– all ways of saying, in the most subtle way, "When you reach this goal, then you are ready to contribute!" My husband and I tell our children that they can contribute NOW, that sharing God's love, joy, and peace is not limited to those 18 and older, that they can always be on the lookout for opportunities to shine God's light.

And that's a good reminder for us adults too, that God can use us, whatever age we are. I hope that when I am in my forties, my sixties, and even my eighties, I will not waste the time God gives me, and that I will ALWAYS pray, "God, use me here while I am here."