A Musical is Born! - Part 1 - The Seed

I've been busy.

I have two books in the works, but what has been all consuming is the musical that I've been working on since 2019. This musical will be performed in February of 2023, so I think this is the perfect time to start documenting the journey!

Welcome to Part 1 of "A Musical is Born!"

In the spring of 2019, my two oldest girls finally had a chance to help backstage with a show. Our local chapter of Christian Youth Theater (called CYT Tri-Valley) was performing Godspell, a musical adaptation of the Gospel of Matthew. By the last night of the performances, my girls were in love with theater and eager to perform in the next season.

But their excitement dwindled when the next three shows were announced: Frozen, Jr., The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and Honk! There wasn't anything wrong with these shows; admittedly, they weren't familiar at all with two of the shows. But my girls had dreams of being in something big, like Les Miserables.

This led to a discussion about the small number of musicals that were appropriate for a CHRISTIAN YOUTH theater. Most musicals are not written with children in mind; they are full of crass jokes and innuendo (to say the least.) Even Les Miserables, an epic story of redemption, is not fitting for youth, unless heavily edited. And let me add that some popular musicals performed by high schools and other youth companies are full of morals that are not godly. I wish that all Broadway shows could be like Godspell. And it's not simply about making some edits; theater companies sign contracts that limit the changes they can make to a show. Unless you get specific permission to make changes, you are bound by copyright law to perform the show as written.

So that leaves few musicals to choose from. There are plenty of "junior" version of shows out there, and "children's" musicals and even "Christian" musicals, of course, but sometimes the quality of these shows are not top notch. Nor are they challenging to actors and singers who listen and watch Broadway musicals.

This was the discussion that started turning the wheels in my mind.

"Could I write a musical? Could I write something that is fitting for youth theater, full of beautiful music, and based on Biblical values?"

I wasn't completely confident in my skills, but I was up for the challenge. After all, I've written stories, scripts, songs, and choral music. Put them all together, and a musical is born! Besides, what was there to lose?

First step, I needed to find a story to adapt, because I knew I didn't have the time or energy to write an original story. I thought of one book after another that might work on stage: Pollyanna, Homer Price, and Mr. Popper's Penguins. Then I ran into copyright laws. If a book is not in the public domain, then I would need to ask permission to use the book (or pay royalties.) This then led me to two books that were more than one hundred years old, E. Nesbit's Five Children and It and George MacDonald's The Princess and the Goblin.

I decided to start with Five Children and It. This book tells the story of a family on vacation in England, and while they are there, the children dig up a creature called a Psammead, who has the ability to grant wishes. Then, of course, their wishes lead to trouble.

The story was perfect. It had a variety of characters, fit for all ages. It had moments involving a town full of people, and moments between only two or three characters. I started reading the book and mapping out the script, removing chapters that were impossible for youth theater to pull off (like the chapter on flying). Whenever I encountered a problem (like "How do we portray a baby on stage?"), one of my kids came up with a solution. Amazingly, the whole process flowed smoothly. The original story was written as a serial for a magazine, so chapters fell neatly into "days" and "scenes". I only had to dig a little for a subplot and an overarching story. The theme was apparent: be grateful for what you have. And most surprisingly, song ideas came easily, with the help of the author's text as lyrics. While I've been struggling to write "pop" songs lately, songs in the musical theater style came very naturally to me. By the end of the summer, I had a rough script and most of the song ideas.

Now for step two.

I had my family, plus my sister-in-law, do a read-aloud of the script. This didn't go so well. I had tried to preserve Nesbit's words as much as possible, but she being a British author from the early 1900's meant many words and phrases that were confusing to present day readers. If a person was reading them in a book, that would be one thing. But for an audience hearing the words, that was a problem. The story needed to be immediately understandable. So back to writing and rewriting.

Step three meant recording the songs so people could hear them. Out came the keyboard. I used Garageband to lay down the piano track, then recorded myself singing all the different parts. My husband heard my working on the songs, and immediately said about one of them, "It doesn't fit." No writer likes to hear those words! But he was right. The song was too melancholy for the fairy-tale. I scrapped that song and tried to come up with something more danceable and fun. After a few tries, I found a "country dance" sound that I really liked, which made the potentially scary scene much more light-hearted. This song is now one of my favorites.

And so it was, back and forth like this for months. Writing means rewriting, and rewriting, and rewriting. It means analyzing the tiny details, but also seeing the bigger picture. Some characters needed more development and lines. I had three songs in a row that were too similar, so I reworked the second song and gave it a totally different sound. I had a big gap without any music, so a new song was added. I tried adding another song near the end of the show, but that seemed to impede the flow of the scene, so out it went.

All throughout this process, my goal was still to write something that a medium-sized youth theater group can perform. It didn't need to be earth-shattering. It didn't need to make it to Broadway. I wrote with the children in mind, that there should be something for everyone, whatever their age, and whether or not they have the best voice or most experience. I put in a small sword fighting scene (who doesn't love a good sword fight?) and a possible tap number. In the end, I felt like I had accomplished my goal– a beautiful, God-honoring musical that was fun for all!

No Words

"Aaaaaaaargh!"

Sometimes there are no words for how you are feeling.

On Thursday, I wanted to raise my eyes to the heavens and scream.

I wanted to ask God, "Why?!?!?!? Why did she get cancer??!??! Why couldn't You heal her???!!"

Because it hurts. It hurts again. Another friend has passed away after months of praying. I just want to know why.

God says He cares for the sparrows. But I've found baby sparrows dead, fallen from the nest, too late for me to save them. And it happens again and again.

And this happens again and again. Another friend has lost a daughter. Another friend has lost a wife. In two and half years, I've said good-bye to six friends, three of them to cancer.

And I have no words.

It's hard to praise God at times like this. I admit it. I praise Him through gritted teeth and streaming tears, like an angry child who doesn't understand but won't argue the fact that his parent loves him. 

So I keeping praising Him–for what He knows that I don't know, and what He can see that I can't see.

The finite human mind cannot reach into the recesses into the infinitely transcendent mind of God. But the end of understanding does not mean the end of trust or love or obedience. ~Gregory Floyd

If you are grieving right now, for whatever reason, know that it's okay to tell God how you feel. Or, if you don't have the words, just raise your eyes to the heavens and scream. I'm not going to try to explain grief, or suffering, or God's will, but if you would like to read more, I recommend C.S. Lewis's book "A Grief Observed." If someone you know is grieving, I recommend Nancy Guthrie's book "What Grieving People Wish You Knew about What Really Helps".

No More Excuses

In my new book, I make a lot of confessions. Here's one I didn't include:

I'm afraid to talk to new people.

This morning, as we gathered for in-person indoor worship for the first time in over a year, I was so nervous about the many new faces filling the sanctuary. I wanted to stick close to people I knew, or busy myself with something and avoid eye contact. Just the thought of talking to someone new makes my heart race, my palms sweat, and my mind go blank. 

And I used to let that be my excuse.

"I'm just shy. That's who I am."

"They don't want to talk to me. I'll wait for someone to come over to me."

"It's easier to hang out by the food table and keep putting food in my mouth so I don't have to talk to people."

But guess what? God still calls me to love people, to reach out, and to build community. And He has all the tools I need to grow in this arena.

No more excuses. 

So, this morning, I made it my goal to meet one new person before I left. And I did it! I walked straight up to a new person and introduced myself.

Sometimes I'm talking to parents and I hear them say things similar to what I used to say about being shy. 

"I could never do what you do."

"I just don't have the patience."

"You were meant to have eight kids. I wasn't."

There was a time when I believed these too! I would watch how another mom handled a situation and think, "I could never..."

But I have learned over the years that God calls me to be the best mom my kids can have. He has all the tools I need to grow as a parent. So whether I am getting to know my newborn, or I'm figuring out new ways to be organized, or I'm learning patience–again and again and again–God's got me covered. 

No more excuses.

(Read more about my parenthood journey in my book, Dirtying My Sleeves!)

This Year, Try a New Tradition!

I've heard from several families that this year they would like to try something new for Christmas. We're all wanting to make this Christmas extra special and memorable!

So here is a simple tradition that my family does... with books! We start on December 1st and go until the 24th, and there is still plenty of time for you to get some books ready for next week.

This is what I do:

I collect our Christmas picture books, and borrow several from the library (sometimes ones we've read before, sometimes new stories), and I wrap them in Christmas paper. Some people like to wrap all the books at once, and the kids can see them as a kind of "count down" to Christmas. I like to wrap a few at a time (3-5) to minimize confusion and reuse the paper if I can (and I don't really have the space for 24 books to sit). Then every day, one child gets to "open" a "present", and we "oh" and "ah" over his/her choice and read the story together! It's a fun way to incorporate read-aloud, and also helps kids who are itching to open something before Christmas.

If you're in search of some great Christmas books to share with your family this year, let me suggest these!

Our absolute favorites:

Santa's Favorite Story by Hisako Aoki
A picture book that perfectly combines Santa with the true Hero of Christmas

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

This is a chapter book for read-aloud or older children, but it's best read together. You'll see Christmas with fresh eyes!

The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The old English may be hard, so I recommend reading this aloud, or listening to an audio version of it. But don't think that watching a movie of this story (even the Muppets version... my favorite) is enough. Most adaptations remove Dickens's Christian message (and his humor– that Dickens is surprisingly funny!) Focus on the Family Radio's Radio Theater also has a wonderful audio drama version.

Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco

A longer picture book that always moves me to tears 

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

How that traditional little candy can tell a wondrous story

Great Joy by Kate DiCamillo

A simple, touching story about a girl and a homeless man

More favorites:

Follow the Star (all the way to Bethlehem) by Alan and Linda Parry - interactive book, has little letters and puzzle pieces

Shall I Knit You a Hat? by Kate Elise

One Night in a Stable by Guido Visconti

The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado

Tree of Cranes by Allen Say

Oliver and Amanda's Christmas by Jean Van Leeuwen

Toot and Puddle: I'll be Home for Christmas by Holly Hobbie

Toot and Puddle: Let it Snow by Holly Hobbie

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

A Homemade Together Christmas by Maryann Cocca-Leffler

Zelda and Ivy One Christmas by Laura McGee Kvasnosky

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

Cranberry Christmas by Harry and Wende Devlin

A Christmas Like Helen's by Natalie Kinsey-Warnock

Auntie Claus by Elise Primavera

The Wild Christmas Reindeer by Jan Brett

The Christmas Trolls by Jan Brett

(and if you like Jan Brett's books, she has a plethora of Christmas stories: The Night Before Christmas, Who's that Knocking on Christmas Eve?, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Home for Christmas. All her Christmas stories can be found in one book, the Jan Brett's Christmas Treasury)

The Calm in the Storm

This afternoon, I was standing in line with my shopping cart full of food, at least what food I could still find on the half-empty shelves. All around me were other families doing the same. The lines stretched into the aisles, but no one was pushing or yelling. In fact, people were calm and polite, some quiet, some laughing, some making conversation with strangers.

But I felt so tired. It had been such a strange few days. I just wanted to get some food to feed my brood. Being surrounded by people in crisis made me want to cry and I didn't know why.

Suddenly, an image filled my mind. It was a scene from the book "Tales of the Restoration", by David and Karen Mains. In a midst of a riot in the city, in which citizens were throwing mud at each other, a man quietly appeared.

...the man was wearing working-man's dungarees, a flannel shirt, a hardhat, and steel-toed boots. As the boy watched, the street cleaner said nothing. He scarcely glanced about him, but just kept cleaning and sweeping and shoveling the mess. 

A fistful of mud hit the man in the chest. He neither shouted in anger or threw the dirt back at the crowd; he didn't even wipe the filth from his shirt.

The boy in the story soon realized that the man was Jesus. Jesus is the peace in the midst of the storm; even better, He is the one who calms all storms.

This afternoon, as I stood in line with my shopping cart full of food, I closed my eyes and rested on this image. I imagined Jesus walking through the grocery store and bringing a peace-that-passes-understanding with him. I prayed for Jesus to calm the storm in my heart, that His peace would fill me, so that I could pass it on to others.

I realize now why I feel so tired. I've always felt others' pain very strongly, and every story I heard about people dying, children not getting fed because schools are closing, the elderly not having toilet paper, small businesses being in danger is like a boulder on my shoulder. Being in a store full of people "in panic" (as calm as we all were) was like an avalanche on my soul.

And so I've been reading and re-reading these words from Psalm 18:

I love you, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,

my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

This is the verse on my chalkboard right now. As my family lives in close quarters for the next few weeks, this will be our reminder that it is not these physical walls that protect us, but our God.

Stories for the Christmas Season

Some of you know our family's Christmas tradition with storybooks: I wrap several storybooks and every day, starting on December 1st, a child chooses one "present" to unwrap and read. (Then if possible, I reuse the paper to wrap another book, and another book, until the last one on the 24th.)

We've found some new favorites, so I'm updating our book list! If you're in search of some great Christmas books to share with your family this year, let me suggest these:

Our absolute favorites-

Santa's Favorite Story by Hisako Aoki
A picture book that perfectly combines Santa with the true Hero of Christmas

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

This is a chapter book for read-aloud or older children, but it's best read together. You'll see Christmas with fresh eyes!

The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The old English may be hard, so I recommend reading this aloud, or listening to an audio version of it. But don't think that watching a movie of this story (even the Muppets version... my favorite) is enough. Most adaptations remove Dickens's Christian message (and his humor– that Dickens is surprisingly funny!)

Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco

A longer picture book that always moves me to tears 

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

How that traditional little candy can tell a wondrous story

Great Joy by Kate DiCamillo

A simple, touching story about a girl and a homeless man

More favorites-

Tree of Cranes by Allen Say

Oliver and Amanda's Christmas by Jean Van Leeuwen

Toot and Puddle: I'll be Home for Christmas by Holly Hobbie

Toot and Puddle: Let it Snow by Holly Hobbie

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

A Homemade Together Christmas by Maryann Cocca-Leffler

Zelda and Ivy One Christmas by Laura McGee Kvasnosky

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

A Christmas Like Helen's by Natalie Kinsey-Warnock

The Wild Christmas Reindeer by Jan Brett

The Christmas Trolls by Jan Brett

(and if you like Jan Brett's books, she has a plethora of Christmas stories: The Night Before Christmas, Who's that Knocking on Christmas Eve?, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Home for Christmas)

Final Thoughts on Hospitality (Part 5 of 5)

Hospitality sounds complicated, but it really isn’t. 

Magazines, stores, TV shows, and Pinterest make standards look impossible to achieve, but notice that the Bible doesn’t mention anything about cooking, decorating, cleaning your house, or being a good conversationalist. It simply says “seek to show hospitality.” Dioko philoxenia. Pursue a love of strangers. Cultivate it. With confidence, use the gifts that God gave you and be the first to reach out and make a connection. You don’t have to qualify somehow before you can practice hospitality. It’s as simple as a child going up to another child in the park and asking “Do you want to play with me?” or “Do you want to share my cookie?” That’s hospitality. 

And though I say it’s simple, I know it’s not always easy. We all have obstacles to overcome. Some aspects of hospitality will come easily to you, and some will be hard. Scripture memorization is easy for some people, and difficult for others. But just because it's hard doesn't mean we shouldn't do it.

And sometimes practicing hospitality takes courage. Sometimes it takes energy. Sometimes it takes repentance and inviting over the person that you feel had wronged you somehow. Being obedient in hospitality, like any spiritual discipline, takes work, practice, and preparation. And as a followers of Christ, we are called to be hospitable. We are called to obey. It’s evangelism. It’s loving your neighbor as yourself, one of the great commandments given by Jesus. So don’t discredit hospitality as something other people do, or something you can do someday. 

Of course, obedience doesn’t mean inviting people over even if you are ill, or you had a baby recently, or you are dealing with family issues. If your own life isn’t in “order” (for example, if your marriage is struggling) you need to take care of that first. Those are times to receive hospitality. There are seasons when you will practice hospitality more and seasons when you will practice hospitality less–that’s natural. I myself go through phases. I’ll have people over every week for several weeks in a row, then I need to take a break for a few weeks. I'm naturally an introvert and so I need time to recharge.

And–this is important–I need to practice hospitality without grumbling.

I Peter 8:8-9 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 

There has been times when I’m getting ready for a dinner and I’m tired and have a bad attitude. 

"Last thing I want to do is host a party right now," I would say to myself. "I'd rather hide in a hole." 

But remember the story of sisters Mary and Martha. Martha  is busy serving and preparing a meal while Mary simply sits at Jesus's feet. When Martha asks Jesus to tell her sister to help with dinner, Jesus says, “She has chosen the better thing.” I never understood this before. Was it wrong for Martha to be making a meal while Jesus was there?  No, Jesus gently scolds Martha, not because what she was doing wasn’t worth the time, but because she was grumbling. Her heart was in the wrong place. She wasn’t really being hospitable. But Mary was. 

The beauty of the way my story ends is that God still uses my shortcomings to bless me. After having people over, I’m always glad I did it. 

To end this series on hospitality, here is a quote from Joanne Thompson’s book “Table Life- Savoring the Hospitality of Jesus in Your Home.”

“Christian hospitality is like a great harvest of bread, delighting us with a joy only God can supply. It’s common to hear phrases like “pray by faith,” “witness by faith,” “give by faith.” But how often have you heard someone say, “I entertain by faith”? It sounds unfamiliar, doesn’t it? Our tendency is to categorize hospitality into two groups of people: those who naturally love to entertain and those who say, “That’s not my thing.” Both perspectives may be devoid of faith. And yet it is faith–that is, our living connection with God– that opens the door for every Christ follower to experience God’s treasures of the table.

Hospitality is more about your faith than your competence. A farmer can’t create a single grain of wheat himself, but by faith, he cooperates with God by tilling, planting, watering, and expecting a great return. Sharing your table isn’t fueled by faith in your magnificent entertaining skills or gregarious personality; it’s believing that God will satisfy hearts as well as appetites when you share your table in Jesus’ name.”

Why Reading Aloud to Your Older Children is Important

"Read aloud to your kids."

Parents know this. Cuddling up for 'Goodnight Moon' and Dr. Seuss before bedtime is a great way to introduce your non-readers to the world of books.

But once the child starts reading on his own, then what happens? Parents stop reading to them. It makes sense, right? If a child can tie his own shoes, he doesn't need Mom and Dad to tie them too.

But reading isn't like tying shoes. A beginning reader can only read at a beginning level. And even a more advanced reader is not going to tackle anything above his level. Bring Mom and Dad into the picture, though, and the child can be listening to books far beyond his reading level. The child is exposed to bigger vocabulary, bigger ideas, and a bigger world. And, sometimes, the child will surprise you with what they learn or fall in love with.

Take my nine-year-old, for example. He's an active boy who prefers scootering or climbing a tree to reading. I've tried enticing him with different stories to encourage him to read, and my only success so far is 'The Mouse and the Motorcycle'. But at dinner, my husband always reads something to the family–'The Lord of the Rings', 'The Phoenix and the Carpet', biographies and historical novels. One night, he chose a book of short stories by James Thurber.

If you've ever read James Thurber (known for writing 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty') you know that these are not stories a child would pick up to read. The paragraphs are long, the subjects are rather mundane, and Thurber loves to incorporate accents, spelling out the sounds of words so that English doesn't look like English anymore. But when my husband started reading 'The Black Magic of Barney Haller', the story came alive. He read without tripping over the long words. The accents were not a foreign language. The humor of the story came out easily and my son was laughing at the dinner table every time he heard "I go hunt grotches in de voods." He kept repeating the phrase for days on end.

A few days ago, my son took the James Thurber book off the shelf and flipped to 'The Black Magic of Barney Haller'. He proceeded to read the story aloud to all of us as we sat at dinner. Every time he read about the "grotches in de voods", he chuckled to himself like there was an inside joke, which made me chuckle. When he was done, he flipped to 'The Macbeth Murder Mystery' and started reading that story aloud.

"Why are you reading these?" my daughter asked.

"Because they're the best!" replied my son.

So don't stop reading to your children, no matter how old they are. Make it a family event. Reading is an easy and wonderful way to share experiences and make new memories!

Why Reading Aloud is (Still) Important

This post is for the parents and grandparents out there.

And especially for the parents reading this right now.

Yes, that means you.

Because if you're reading this right now, it means you're on your laptop, iPad, phone, or computer. And it means that you're not reading to your kids.

I'm not trying to guilt-trip you. If you've just spent an hour at the park, or playing a game, or reading to your child, and you're taking five minutes for yourself to read my blog, then, all I can say is, "Yay! I feel so honored!!"

But if you've been on your phone or computer for the past hour while your child is watching a video, then according to Meghan Cox Gurdon, you need to rethink your priorities.

Because according to the author of The Enchanted Hour: The Miraculous Power of Reading Aloud in the Age of Distraction, sitting down with your child and a book MATTERS. Especially at a young age. Through reading books with parents, children develop vocabulary, thinking skills, and social skills. They learn to empathize, observe, and dialogue. And most importantly, they bond with their parents as they slow down, snuggle down, and dive into a story that they can experience together.

Meghan Cox Gurdon's book sites study after study of the benefits of reading aloud to your child. Having an iPad "read aloud" to your child is not the same. A child's brain does not react the same way to a video or audio as it does to a person reading a book. There is NO app, NO computer program, NO technology out there that can replace a live human being.

And the real question is not just "are you reading to your children?" but "what are you doing instead?" Are you talking to your child? Laughing with your child? Teaching him about the world around him? Or are you distracted? Are you (and your child) immersed in the online and electronic world more than the real world? You can choose to read to your child because science and research says you should, but you can choose to read to your child simply because it's a delightful, wonderful thing to do!

I could go on and on, but it's best if you just read Cox Gurdon's book. You can also find interviews with her online.

As for me, I've been trying to read more to my youngest four. I had been diligent about reading aloud with my first four, but in the past few years I've been spending more time, especially in the evenings, trying to "get things done". Now I tell myself, "The dishes can wait." And I go cuddle with the littlest ones to read two or three stories before nap time and bedtime. I've also been spending less time on the computer (and, maybe you've noticed, less time blogging). 

Our Favorite Christmas Storybooks

In the Baird family, we love Christmas, and we love Christmas stories! Every day, starting on December 1st, we unwrap a Christmas picture book to read together. I also keep other books out for children to read on their own, or for us to read aloud at the dinner table.

If you're in search of some great Christmas books to share with your family this year, let me suggest these!

Our absolute favorites:

Santa's Favorite Story by Hisako Aoki
A picture book that perfectly combines Santa with the true Hero of Christmas

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

This is a chapter book for read-aloud or older children, but it's best read together. You'll see Christmas with fresh eyes!

The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The old English may be hard, so I recommend reading this aloud, or listening to an audio version of it. But don't think that watching a movie of this story (even the Muppets version... my favorite) is enough. Most adaptations remove Dickens's Christian message (and his humor– that Dickens is surprisingly funny!)

Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco

A longer picture book that always moves me to tears 

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

How that traditional little candy can tell a wondrous story

Great Joy by Kate DiCamillo

A simple, touching story about a girl and a homeless man

More favorites:

Tree of Cranes by Allen Say

Oliver and Amanda's Christmas by Jean Van Leeuwen

Toot and Puddle: I'll be Home for Christmas by Holly Hobbie

Toot and Puddle: Let it Snow by Holly Hobbie

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

A Homemade Together Christmas by Maryann Cocca-Leffler

Zelda and Ivy One Christmas by Laura McGee Kvasnosky

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

A Christmas Like Helen's by Natalie Kinsey-Warnock

The Wild Christmas Reindeer by Jan Brett

The Christmas Trolls by Jan Brett

(and if you like Jan Brett's books, she has a plethora of Christmas stories: The Night Before Christmas, Who's that Knocking on Christmas Eve?, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Home for Christmas)

The Start of Another School Year

I finally finished lesson planning today. With five days to go. I am so thankful, because that means I can take the kids to the beach tomorrow without lugging along a textbook. And I can relax and soak in the last few days of calm.

I am hoping (and praying, of course) that this year will be different. It almost wasn't. A month ago, I was on the verge of going crazy while lesson planning, because I was worried about my sophomore son not having a biology class and I wasn't sure how I was going to teach him second-year French while my freshman daughter is still in first-year. I would lie in bed at night and try to see the situation from all sides, working it like a puzzle, and fretting about the outcome if I should fail to find a solution.

Thank God for Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie. I had heard about this book from many of my homeschooling friends, and when I saw it on sale online, I grabbed it. 77 pages. I can do that, I thought. Maybe I'll get something from it.

Right off the bat, I found myself agreeing with Sarah wholeheartedly.

The heart of this book is about remembering what our true task really is, and then throwing ourselves in completely. Giving our all. The raising of children, the teaching of truth, the sharing of life, the nourishment of imagination, and the cultivating of wisdom: These are all His anyway; we are merely His servants.

Yep, that's me! And that's why I'm up at night worrying! So then, how do I rest?

Sarah answers that question in the next chapter.

Rest begins with acceptance. Or, perhaps more accurately, with surrender. There will always be more you can do. You will never complete tasks entirely, because just on the horizon is tomorrow, and tomorrow the to-do list starts anew. It is so exhausting–sometimes even demoralizing–to realize that our work in raising up and teaching our children is never really done. But we must remember that we were never intended to finish it.

The more I read, the more I realized my mistakes in the past year. I had let the pressure of "high school" change my goals in homeschooling. I was approaching my son's high school years like I had approached mine, where I had planned every step and every class to ensure that doors would be open to me. Like any good mother, I want to give my son every opportunity! But the reality is that I can never give my son every opportunity. There are not enough hours in the day, or money in my bank. And that was stressing me out.

I needed to learn to rest, and as Sarah writes, "rest begins with acceptance."

We can't really rest in God's care until we trust that He will indeed care for us. And that means I can't teach from rest unless I trust Him with my kids' education too. I am not meant to take on this task of teaching and raising my children in my own strength, and neither are you. We are, however, meant to recognize every facet of our day as coming from the hand of God. It all passed through His fingers first, and He uses it to make sure that we lean hard on Him.

And isn't that what I saw in my own education? I was accepted to UC Berkeley based on test scores and grades, not based on what they actually knew about me. If they had known me, they would have known that I was interested in education, and UC Berkeley would extinguish that fire in me. They also would have known that I wanted to perform music, and so would have recommended UC Irvine instead. But God, my Maker, who knows me through and through, helped me get accepted to UC Berkeley because it really was the perfect place for me to develop my musical talents. The small and unique music department at that school was exactly what I needed to flourish and grow, while the campus's atheistic atmosphere challenged my faith. God knew exactly what I needed.

And that is where I am now with my children's education. I stopped worrying about biology and French 2 for my son. I remembered that I am not teaching so that I can brandish my son's impressive transcript (and therefore prove that I am a capable educator), but that I am teaching to nurture a man. That means spending more time this year on reading and less on grammar workbooks. That means reviewing French 1 with him and cementing more of those tricky verb conjugations in his head. And it means enjoying my last three years with my oldest. And if somewhere down the line, he needs to take a year or two at a community college to meet a requirement for a specific university, so be it. It is not the end of the world. God knows exactly what my son needs, and I trust that He is the one directing his path.

I will end with Sarah's words.

It's important to remember that rest is not ease. This isn't idealism. It isn't simple and peaceful in the sense of being easy or gentle. Teaching from rest is meaningful learning and growth–but without the anxiety and frenzy so common in our day...Peace comes from recognizing that our real task is to wake up each day and get our marching orders from God. It comes from diligence to the work He hands us, but diligence infused with faith, with resting in a God's promises to guide and bless us.

To all you homeschooling parents out there, here's to another year of restful and fruitful learning!

The Bug Lost and Found

I can't believe it's been half a year since my children's book came out! My book is now on the shelf of the Livermore library, and recently, I had a chance to share my stories there and be a bit of a 'local celebrity'. It was a whole new experience for me!

My book is still available for purchase on Amazon.com, and if you'd like a preview (or have little ones that need quiet entertainment for a few minutes), you can view a video of the book on YouTube! The Bug Lost and Found video was made by my sister-in-law and features the voices of seven of my eight children (the baby talks a lot, but is not ready for a voiceover career yet).

Enjoy!

The Bug Lost and Found

For years now, I have been writing stories for my family members and friends. Stories, for me, are like paintings or photographs or songs. What I see and experience inspire me and move me to create something that attempts to capture that feeling. Many of my stories are directly influenced by the people in my life: my children make me laugh and remind me to imagine; my husband teaches me to see the world through God's eyes; my friends encourage me. So when I give a loved one the gift of a story, I am giving him or her a piece of myself.

Many years ago, I wrote four short stories as a Christmas present for my kids. Now, for the first time, I took the bold step of asking my talented sister to illustrate these stories so that others may enjoy them too. My new children's book took most of 2017 to rewrite, edit, lay out, illustrate, and design (and I added a new story too!) I am super-proud of this book, not only because it's a major project checked off my list, but because I want to shine my little candle in a world that seems to grow darker by the moment, especially for our children.

You can learn more about my new book by clicking on the link on the right. And here is a sneak peek at my sister's beautiful  and adorable watercolors! This book would be perfect for children ages 4-8.