Lately, I've had voices in my head telling me that I'm not good enough.
When a mom says, "I find your house a bit chaotic," I can't help but think, Am I not trying hard enough?
When a well-meaning stranger comments, "You must have your hands full," the thought that runs through my mind is, I must look like a crazy and stressed person.
When a friend jokes, "Haven't you guys ever heard of birth control?" I interpret it as, You are stupid and have no idea what you're doing.
And sometimes, all it takes is a look from a person in the store, and the voices in my head will fill in the rest.
Believe me, I am not blind to the mess in my house, I am well aware of the fact that my toddler is strong-willed and stubborn, and I still don't know how I will handle homeschooling, housework, and a new baby when I already work thirteen-hour days, but what I don't need are the voices in my head telling me that I'm not good enough. They make me feel hopeless and weak, completely naked and vulnerable.
So, what do I do now?
This week, I was rereading the last chapter of Ephesians, the section that describes the armor of God. Perfect timing, as always. I was reminded that the comments may come from people, but we are not always fighting against flesh and blood. More than that, what I realized in my reading was that I can fight naked, or I can fight clothed. If I am naked (as the Enemy wants me to be), I cannot win. But clothed in God's armor, I have His protection, His strength, and His victory.
P.S. Sometimes, it is better to think twice about a comment or joke. If it's not entirely encouraging, maybe you (or I) shouldn't say it.
