Our Young Brothers and Sisters

I remember a time when I was at a friend's home, just hanging out and getting to know his teenage friend who was visiting from Washington. We decided to watch a movie, but the debate was 'which movie?' My friend suggested the French film Amelie, which I had seen before and enjoyed very much, but I questioned if we should watch that film (with short scenes of sex and nudity in it) with the teenage boy present. My concern was brushed aside with a "Oh, he's okay." 

I was younger then, and not yet a parent. Today, I would have refused to watch that film with the teenager, even if his parents were there, for I have come to realize that I should never assume that a person has the same weaknesses and temptations that I have. Just as I would not take a recovering alcoholic to a bar just so I could have a beer, I would not knowingly watch a film containing sex, violence, or scary images with others unless I know for sure that it is okay. (side note: I don't watch any type of scary movies, I prefer not to watch violent movies, and occasionally a movie I choose has a sex scene or nudity in it, but we'll fast-forward through it.)

In Paul's letter to Corinth, he shares his wisdom in such situations.

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. (I Corinthians 9:19-22)

He continues to say:

"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others... Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God--even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. (I Corinthians 10:23-33)

And this applies to anyone in our Family, no matter what age, but I am thinking especially of my children. My husband and I have had to train ourselves to think twice about books, magazines, movies, food, and even clothes. Things that before were "No problem" now are potentially a problem in our house. We don't want to be the ones who cause our children to stumble later in life by exposing them to things that are not Godly. Yes, some things are 'okay'. Yes, our culture allows much today. But not everything is good or beneficial, especially in God's eyes. Our job as parents is not only to shield and teach our children, but to guard the spiritual lives of these young brothers and sisters in Christ.

I urge you parents not to bring your child to a movie just because you're itching to see it and you couldn't find a babysitter. Or watching a show with questionable morals (even subversive ones) in the presence of your children. Or dressing your child in something 'cute' if the outfit is inappropriate even on a young lady or man.

Remember the words of Paul, for the sake of our young brothers and sisters.

Footnote:

If you are looking for a resource for censoring media, check out http://www.almenconi.com/. Al Menconi, whom I have heard speak live, is passionate about our children's hearts and how movies, TV, music, and video games affect them. He also has a website that clearly describes the contents of a movie, going beyond G or PG to tell you if the film has issues with content or message. The reviews are for current and recent films: http://www.pluggedin.com/.

www.imdb.com have also started including a Parents' Guide for certain movies (scroll down past the 'Cast' to 'Storyline'.) They are also detailed, but they do not touch on the spiritual aspects of the film like Al's website does.

Dealing With My Nastiest Customer

We're potty-training our two-year-old, and on most days it's been:

"Do you have to go potty?"

"No!"

"Let's try!"

"No!"

We go anyway. And when he has some, I can't help but gloat to myself, "See? I told you so!" (so mature of me, right?)

Then he gets his treat for going.

"Do you want an M&M?"

"No!"

"Do you want a different candy?"

"No, I want a chocolate!"

"Okay, here's a green one."

"No!"

"Okay, here's a red one."

"I want a green one!"

And that's on a good day. Sometimes he refuses the M&M all together, throws it on the floor, then howls when he sees me put it in the garbage.

He's going through a "phase"; that's my hope anyway.

But he's not always so belligerent. Usually, he's a happy, smiley toddler with lots of hugs to give. But sometimes, like today, his belligerence seems to be the norm. Granted, he's recovering from a cold, but that doesn't make it any easier for me who has to deal with his complaints. Breakfast and lunch were not to his satisfaction, and he didn't like it when I stopped him from jumping on the couch and drawing on the floor. The last straw for me was when he took his freshly-washed blankie and put it in the bathroom sink, saying that it was too hot and needed to be washed.

I raised my voice. Or you may call it shouting, hollering, or yelling. Whatever it was, I didn't like it. And neither did my other children. I found my five-year-old sitting with her hands over her ears.

Anytime I lose it like that, I regret it for the rest of the day. It means that something went wrong. I forgot to rely on the One who can fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience. (Colossians 1:9-11)

Yes, He promises us that. Even us mothers. Maybe especially for us mothers.

My nasty customer is napping right now. I pray that he will be in better spirits when he wakes, and while I'm at it, I pray that I'm ready for him even if he's not.

Valentine's Day

My husband doesn't get me flowers for Valentine's Day, and that's okay. It's not that I'm not a romantic (double negative there, sorry about that); I just define romance differently.

I would rather have a hard working man for 365 days of the year than flowers for 1.

I love a man who takes me dancing... in the kitchen.

I adore a man who thanks me for dinner, even when I cook it for him every night.

And the best is when he makes me laugh. I would rather laugh every day than get flowers.

When I was little, I liked hearing the stories that ended with "...and they lived happily ever after." What I loved, though, was the "ever after." The story I heard was only the beginning. Marriage is day in and day out. What makes marriage work is celebrating each other every day.

(I should also add that my husband and I spent the day helping the church put on a free Valentine's dinner- with childcare!- for couples. The experience was similar to last year's, so I didn't want to repeat myself. You can read about what has become an annual dinner here: A Celebration of Marriage)

This is Just the First Course!

I may have already told you this, but one of my favorite things about communion is watching people as they wait their turn to take the Bread and the Cup. The variety of ages, sizes, colors, and personalities reminds me that people of all nations will someday sit together at the Great Banquet. Communion is like the first course, the appetizers, a taste of what Heaven will be like! How good of God to give us something tangible here on earth to point us towards eternity!

Joy in the Little Things

Find joy in the little things. I know I say that a lot. That's because I need to remind myself.

You may think that because I'm a homeschooling-baking-from-scratch-mother-of-five, I am the June-Cleaver type, content to be just cleaning, cooking, ironing, and bearing children. In reality, I long to hop on a plane and visit Europe or Asia again. I miss my days of being in the lime light. I wish I had a magic wand that could clean and organize my house for me. And I envy those who could drop everything and go out for a night on the town.

Being a mom is weary work. Doing what I do everyday takes much effort and discipline, and sometimes it goes against my natural tendencies (like sleeping in). I used to go around without a watch on, and inside this disciplined homebody mom is a jet-set and spontaneous throw-the-clock-out-the-window person trying to break out. There are days when I want to scream because I've been cooped up with the kids for days! There are days when I want to be by myself somewhere, I don't care where, anywhere but in the house! I want to actually cross out everything on my to-do list. I want to clean one room and see it clean five minutes later. I want to go out for dinner, or see a movie in the theater, or a play on a stage. I want to have moments of great excitement and adventure! (and I don't mean trips to the hospital or going grocery shopping with a cranky child.)

But I'm getting carried away. I'm not writing this so you can feel sorry for me. I'm writing this for those of you who are nodding your heads vigorously and thinking, "I know exactly what you mean!" You feel like you are just not cut out for this sort of thing. Then you have two choices. It's either 1) give up, go back to work, and put the kids in school and/or daycare or hire a nanny or a maid OR 2) continue on the course God had put you on.

So, how do we get through these days, that have become months, that have become years? We can trudge along, discontent, tired, just waiting for the day (or days) to be over OR we can play the Glad Game!

For anyone who does not know the Glad Game, it comes from Eleanor H. Porter's 1913 novel Pollyanna, in which an orphan teaches everyone around her to find blessings in every situation. "When you look for something to be glad about, you forget what you're missing," Pollyanna says. Which means that...

I'm glad that my two-year-old is using the potty... most of the time. I'm glad that my husband's work pays enough, just enough for me to stay home. I'm glad that the sun is shining, that the rain is falling, that the wind is blowing... with the game, I never run out of things to be glad about! And it gives me perspective, that this is for a moment, a season of my life, that I will never have again when my children are grown. My days of freedom will return someday, and who knows? I'll probably spend them twiddling my thumbs while pining for my children. 

So let me say it one more time, for my own sake: find joy in the little things. Rejoice in the Lord always. I say again, rejoice!

Groundhog's Day

Eight years ago today, my father-in-law was admitted into the hospital for open heart surgery.

When he went in for a check-up, the doctor said that it was a miracle that he was still alive. My family got a call saying that he couldn't leave the hospital without a five-way bypass and valve replacement.

My first-born son was five-months-old at the time, so I took him with me to the hospital and waited and prayed in the waiting room with my husband's family. My son of course was not aware that he could grow up without ever knowing his father's father. But thankfully, God had kept my father-in-law alive for months before we were even aware of the problem, and He brought him through the surgery with no complications.

I am so glad that all my children know their grandparents! But today, I am especially grateful for my father-in-law, whose hugs, jokes, games, and teaching make our lives so much fuller.