Preparing for Advent

I know I said that I'll see you in December, but I wanted to provide links to some of my family's Christmas traditions, in case you are wanting to get started on December 1st!

Christmas Traditions

Our Favorite Christmas Stories

I will be spending my Saturday decorating and putting up socks. Happy Advent!

(And just a reminder that traditions can always be adjusted, or stopped all together. Traditions should bring joy and unity to your family, not stress. I'll write more on that later.)

Thanksgiving Blessings

Though I am weak, He is strong.

Though I am hateful, He is Love.

Though I am discontent, He satisfies.

Though I am weary, He is Rest.

Though I am self-centered, He is self-sacrificing.

Though I am pessimistic, He is Hope.

And that is why I can say, no matter what my situation, that I am thankful.

Philippians 4:11-13, one of my favorite Bible passages, is most appropriate for today:

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and I'll see you in December!

Throwing in the Towel (and picking it up again)

I was done. 

Done with potty-traininig, done with the frustration, done with the messes.

"Potty! Potty, Mama!!"

Too late. My two-year-old consistently tells me AFTER the fact. And that was the last straw, because the result was a puddle in the dining room and a wet trail leading through the family room, down the hall, and to the bathroom.

"No more potty-training. I'm putting you back in diapers. I don't care anymore!" I shouted to no one in particular as I mopped up the mess.

I wasn't usually one to give up, but I was so fatigued. I was running on minimum sleep (yet again) but more than that, I felt that all my efforts were for nothing. And when one reaches that point, it's hard to get up in the mornings.

So I used cloth diapers for the rest of the day, and I was prepared to use them the next day, and the day after, and the day after that.

But after a rather decent night of sleep, I woke up to my husband's voice. 

"Good job! Good job going potty!"

Oh, of course, she goes for him, my cynical self thought. But a grain of hope had been planted, and my plan to give up had already gone awry.

My husband put our toddler in her training pants, and I had to choose. Do I try again, or do I use the diapers? I decided to go for it.

And as I knelt by the toilet, reading a book to my daughter as she sat and tried, I knew I had done the right thing. I had allowed the darkness of despair to overwhelm me. It had overshadowed the path so that I couldn't see past my nose. And all I needed was one grain of hope to glimmer and give me light again.

This morning, my little girl told me twice that she had to go to the potty. This is the first time that has happened, and it has only been nine days since I said I was done.

Good thing I didn't give up.

Touching Music

I still don't know why God created music. Everything else, I can see a practical purpose, but music... beauty seems to be its only purpose. And it's a beauty that easily translates into worship.

Yesterday, I directed the children's choir in our morning service. Eleven children, all ages ten and under, stood nervously on the steps of the stage. Smile!, I motioned to them. A few grinned back at me. When the music began, they took a deep breath, and sang as we had always rehearsed it. And though I could not see the congregation behind me, I heard their voices join ours.

By the end, tears were streaming down my face. The children, along with their wiggles and giggles, were so wonderful, innocent, and enthusiastic as they lead the church in song. At one point, as the children sang "and I lift my voice", I closed my eyes and my heart leaped in joy. It was the moment in conducting that I love the most, the moment when the music becomes tangible, so tangible that I can touch it. (Some of you think I'm crazy, but a few of you know what I'm talking about.) The music was like clay that I could shape and mold with ease. My hands moved as if I was painting a picture, and the picture I saw was one of angels in the heavens worshipping with us here on earth.

As I'm typing this now, my four-year-old is singing "Let everything that... let everything that... let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" as he plays in the other room. My heart leaps again, and I am glad for music.

A Different Holiday Season

Tonight, my friend treated me to a belated birthday dinner. As we entered the mall, I could already see it... the giant, shiny balls dangling from the draping, green garlands. 

"Oh no," I thought, "it's already started."

We strolled through the mall's center, and there it was-- a gigantic, humungous, gargantuan (should I go on?) Christmas tree, complete with jolly old St. Nicholas in front, child on his lap, ho-ho-hoing for the camera.

But what struck me the most were the giant presents around the tree. They were screaming to me, "More presents! Buy more presents!"

I promised that I would never rant on my blog, so I won't. But I am pleading with you:

Please don't let Christmas commercialism bulldoze through your Thanksgiving. 

In fact, don't let the food, the football, or family differences overshadow your Thanksgiving either. Take steps this year to make your holiday season different, by being more content, more forgiving, more grateful, and more focused on Him who gives us all things.

Thankful

Autumn is when my mind dwells on thankfulness, not because the United States formally celebrates Thanksgiving in November, but because the beauty of autumn stirs my soul. The bold reds and yellows mixed with the fading green, the variety of flavors from autumn fruits and vegetables, the relief from the summer heat, the simple beauty of migrating birds... they all remind me to thank the Maker. I walk down our street or glance out the window and I am filled with awe.

I was going to wait until Thanksgiving to post this, but there really is no need, when everyday is, in fact, a day of thanksgiving. It is my newest song, and I apologize again that you cannot hear the melody, but I haven't found a way to put audio on my blog, and I'm not ready to record myself on youtube.


The trees on fire with the season's change

A chill is in the air

We grab coats and scarves to wear

The morning fog smells of autumn rain

The darkness lingers longer

As winter's voice grows stronger

And I am thankful for house and home

The love and laughter warms my heart and soul

The children play as they learn and grow

I am thankful

Oh so thankful

The limbs hang low with their treasure trove

We celebrate the harvest

What the Lord bestowed upon us

The miracles that the earth can hold

That from a tiny seed

Springs forth a mighty tree

And I am thankful for food that grows

How a meal can nourish body and soul

Shared with friends as they come and go

I am thankful

Oh so thankful

For the sunshine as well as the storms

For the cold days as well as the warm

There are countless gifts that I don't deserve

I've done nothing of worth

His arms around me when I'm worn and frayed

We sink into our bed

Rest and peace upon our heads

And wake to greet another dawning day

With strength to rise again

And joy to be content

And I am thankful for life renewed

For daily mercies profound and true

A love that fills me through and through

'Til I'm changing too

I am changing too

And thankful

Superheroes We Are Not

My husband made superhero T-shirts for our family last Christmas. We each have a superhero-alter-ego (mine is MegaMama), and now we can proudly pose with our emblems on our chests.

But... we're not super. My husband and I have our bad days, when we are snappy and impatient with each other. We are not always on the same page. We are not always in the mood to serve each other.

My kids are not extraordinarily well-behaved or good-looking. They are not wunderkinds on their way to Carnegie Hall or American Idol.

In fact, my kids whine when I say "School time!", and the day after a holiday is like herding cats (which I've heard is extremely difficult.) But put in a video, and they are sitting on the couch in ten seconds flat.

They'll eat their veggies, but not without first making a face, and I have a daughter who holds the world record for 'longest time it took to eat one bite of spinach'.

They often leave their beds unmade (and I often forget to remind them). They leave toys and clothes on the floor. They forget to flush the toilet.

They sometimes wear mismatching socks and mismatching clothes. We go to church with their hair still sticking up and food still on their face.

And they fight, at least once a day, over the most petty of issues. They compete over who can finish their math work first, who can hold their breath longer, who has the most Legos.

My family is normal. We have our daily struggles, just like everyone else.

I just thought you should know.

Butterflies and Chrysalides

(photo courtesy of wikipedia.org)

My second oldest daughter found a treasure on Saturday, what looked like a funny piece of wood attached to our fence. I knew immediately that it was a butterfly chrysalis, though I did not know the species. After a bit of research, we discovered that it was a swallowtail's chrysalis, due to its distinct use of silk as a little harness.

I scrolled through the website (whatsthatbug.com), and I noticed that not one other species formed a chrysalis exactly like that of the swallowtail. (Pictured to the right is the swallowtail chrysalis, and below it is the chrysalis of the monarch butterfly. Beautiful, aren't they?) Some hung, some rested along a flat surface, and a few had a silk harness, but not one other chrysalis matched that of the swallowtail, which is what made it so easy to identify.

(photo courtesy of wikimedia.org)

Most people think of something very simple when they picture a butterfly. They are probably familiar with the life cycle of this insect, but do they know how even in their similarities, butterflies are amazingly different? I myself was astounded by the variety I found among this species, and as I studied the photos, I remembered Jesus's words in Matthew 6:26b, "Are you not much more valuable than they?"

Yes, we are. If butterflies are so individually unique, think of all the people in the world, each made by their loving Creator. He knows us, and cherishes us more than butterflies.

WOW!

Over-the-Hill

Thirty-five.

In two days, I turn thirty-five years old.

According to our present-day culture, I'm almost over-the-hill. 

Magazines love to print articles about "the richest people who are not yet twenty" or "thirty under thirty to watch". The more we see photos of famous, rich, young people, the more we think that we all need to prove something before the age of thirty. College grads now want to be the next Mark Zuckerberg (co-founder of Facebook, age 29, net worth of 19 billion dollars), Keira Knightley (actress and model who earned 5 million dollars for 'The Pirates of the Caribbean' and was nominated for an Oscar at the age of 20), or Justin Bieber (singer, "discovered" on Youtube at the age of 14).

The motto is this: succeed quickly, live well, retire early.

It's hard to compete with that. And some would say that my potential was wasted. My "prime of life" was spent bearing children and homemaking and I'm only getting older, slower, and more wrinkled by the day. But I say this: I'm only just getting started! There was a time when I wanted to be like the Marks, Keiras and Justins of the world, but today I look to these well-known people for inspiration.

- Laura Ingalls Wilder was 64 when she published the first of the 'Little House' books.

- Julia Child was almost 40 when she learned to cook.

- Mother Teresa opened a school at age 38, and won the Nobel Peace price at the age of 69.

- Grandma Moses started painting at the age of 76 and painted everyday for the next 25 years!

What I admire most about them is not the fact that they found success at an older age, but that these people had been successful all along in how they chose to approach life. The world only recognized it later and dubbed them as "note-worthy" people.

And this very short list doesn't even include the many unknowns out there who live life heroically, selflessly changing other people's lives for the better! I have friends in their seventies who organize and lead missions trips and couples who are done raising their own children but continue to raise many adopted children. Their faces will never grace the cover of 'People' magazine, and they will never have 1 million dollars, but they are amazing people, definitely people I want to watch.

Thirty-five. 

The older I get, the more I realize that birthdays are not about white hairs, niches, and bucket lists. It's about being ready for the adventures that God has in store for me, whether I'm running with the wind or inching along with a walker.

With God, there is never an over-the-hill. 

On Bucket Lists and Halloween Parties

Many people have a bucket list. My friend Jessica wanted to milk a cow before she turned thirty, and a week ago she got her wish.

I guess there is a certain sense of satisfaction in making a goal and accomplishing it, but I don't really have a bucket list. I'd like to visit China and Australia someday, I'd like to learn the cello and the harp someday... but I don't feel like I really, really need to do those things. At this point, I'd be happy just to leave the state or play the piano for an hour. Or maybe I'm not as ambitious as some.

Anyway, there is one thing I can say now that I have done at least once, and that is 'attend a Halloween party'. Yep, in my nearly thirty-five years of living, I have never been to a Halloween party, partly because I'm not great at dressing up, partly because Halloween is not my favorite holiday, but mainly because I DON'T LIKE BIG PARTIES. (Oops, was I getting worked up? Sorry.)

Back to my story. Our band was asked by our church's college ministry to play a few songs at their annual party. And of course, we had to be in costume. I thought through the clothes I had and remembered a Chinese outfit I had inherited from a relative. Perfect. Well, it wasn't exactly a costume, since I'm already Chinese, but it served its purpose. Then I found out that the party was going to be held at the Lopez's. They are the couple my husband and I counseled before their wedding this summer. Perfect again. I know them and I know their house. And then my sister-in-law and mother-in-law agreed to take my five kids trick-or-treating. Perfect again! To be kid-free at a party means I can focus on performing and mingling, rather than chasing the toddler from one danger hot spot to another.

The stage was set, but I still wasn't entirely comfortable. Remember, I don't like big parties. I don't even like medium-sized parties. I don't like going up to people I've never met before and giving them my name. I don't like loud music, small talk, and too many people squeezed into too tiny a space. But get this, right before the party started, Jason, the pastor in charge, gathered everyone in leadership for a short meeting. Before we prayed, he reminded us the purpose of the party and said, "If you're not a big mingler, that's okay. Whatever your comfort level is, do that. If you're a one-on-one kind of person, awesome. Be one-on-one."

It's funny, that though I didn't ever need permission to not be a party animal at a party, I felt much freer after getting permission. I was able to be myself without guilt and contribute to the party in my own fashion. I talked to people I already knew, but hadn't connected with in a while. I helped a young man having face paint woes. And though I didn't go directly up to a new person, I did meet new people through other friends.

Then the band played, prizes were announced (my husband was nominated for 'best homemade costume' wearing a Viking hat I had crocheted), and I returned home tired but happy. For the first time in thirty-five years, I had fun at a party. I didn't hide at the food table (okay, maybe I did a little, but only long enough to eat a few chips, and that was because I hadn't had dinner) and I didn't busy myself with kids (before I had children, I borrowed other people's children). And I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to next year's party. And now I have a year to plan my costume!

Maybe that's why I don't a bucket list. Sometimes we are surprised by the unexpected. The little things become the big things. And there are too many things in life that I don't know I want to do... until I've done them!