New Year's Grace

It's time to think about New Year's resolutions again.

Augh.

I stopped making resolutions a long time ago because I always failed at keeping them. Read the Bible in a year? Nope. Stop yelling at the kids? Nope.

And marking off the days on the calendar was only like a noose around my neck, getting tighter with every day I failed. How many of us actually make it through January without breaking one or all of our resolutions?

I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person. If I can't do it well, I'd rather not do it at all. Recently I had a conversation with a friend about feeling like we can give only 20% of ourselves to our teaching right now. We'd like to give more, but we just can't, which makes us feel like we are doing our students (in my case, my children) a disservice. And it drives us crazy because we are both people who want to give 100%!

Later that night, I replayed the conversation in my mind and realized that I've changed over the years. The younger me would feel guilty, discouraged, and depressed and call myself a 'failure'. If I've learned anything in my 11 years of being a parent, it's this:

give yourself grace.

Don't compare yourself to others. Accept your limitations. Life happens. I'd love to help out more at church or have guests over more often, but with a three-month-old and a toddler, it's difficult right now. And that's okay.

And I will add this. Though I can only give 20% of myself to my teaching, I am giving all of that 20%. I am still committed to being there everyday, helping my children learn, even if the learning is mostly from a book and not from outings and activities. If the clock says 9am and we're still finishing up breakfast when we should be starting school, we will still attempt to cover all our subjects that day.

As wise as Jedi Master Yoda may be, he wasn't entirely correct when he said, "Do or do not, there is no try." Because sometimes, you have to try in order to eventually do (I tell my kids this all the time). And if something is worth doing, it's worth the effort.

So, I'm going to try again. My New Year's resolution is to read the Bible everyday, starting from the first chapter of the first book. If I miss a day, that's okay. If I don't read the whole Bible in 365 days, that's okay too. And I'm not even starting on January 1st; I started three days ago. Because it's not about doing it the "right" way, or about beating myself up when I fail. I am a child of grace and growing in small increments is better than not growing at all. 

Whether or not you have resolutions for 2015, let this year be your year of grace.

Ordinary Night

A simple maid, a simple man
A simple life, a simple plan
Interrupted by something grand
The baby Jesus

An angel shared his simple news, 
The Savior born in a simple room
Shepherds went to find it true
The baby Jesus

On what seemed to be an ordinary night
They beheld an extraordinary sight
Only those of simple faith
Will recognize the simple babe

He could have come in a mighty storm
Charging in with heaven's force
But he was simply and modestly born
The baby Jesus

A simple star to light the way
The magi saw, the magi came
Simply kneeling to acclaim
The baby Jesus

On what seemed to be an extraordinary night
They beheld an extraordinary sight
Only those of simple faith
Will recognize the simple babe

On what seems to be an ordinary night
We behold an extraordinary sight
Discard all but simple faith
To recognize the simple babe
Kneel before the baby Jesus.

"What do you want?"

Yesterday we did our Christmas tradition of handing out homemade treats to our neighbors. Sad to say, we've lived in this neighborhood for four years and we still don't know all our nearest neighbors. Part of the problem is that our neighbors don't seem to be home very much. Two years ago, we went caroling and only two doors were opened to us. The other houses were dark. The other problem is that I'm too shy to just go up to people and introduce myself. It's much easier to look busy when a neighbor walks by than to engage in conversation.

But this year, I've been feeling to need to reach out more to my neighbors. The Holy Spirit has been prompting me to invite them in to share a meal with our family. Handing out Christmas goodies was the first step in getting to know some neighbors, and guess what? every door we knocked on was opened to us!

Besides the names of two lovely couples (one older, one younger), I learned something else: people are not as trusting these days. Some people opened the door cautiously, expecting us to be selling something. One man even asked, "What do you want?" The idea of a real free gift is foreign to many, and the thought of trusting someone other than yourself is ludicrous and naive.

No wonder people have a hard time trusting an unseeable God and receiving His gift of grace! Just as the change of culture from monarchy to democracy affects how people view God as king, the change of modern culture from community to isolation affects people's willingness to interact with a relational God.

But I cannot give up hope. God can change any heart. Like the third verse of 'O Little Town of Bethlehem' says:

How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift is given!

So God imparts to human hearts the blessings of His Heaven.

No ear may hear His coming, but in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will receive Him still, the dear Christ enters in.

One day, my neighbors will hear a knock and answer the door with a suspicious "What do you want?" only to find that the person knocking is Jesus, and the only thing He wants is to offer His love. And I pray that my neighbor will decide to invite Jesus in!

Babe in My Arms

I'm sitting by the Christmas tree, watching the sleeping child in my arms. Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out… He smiles joyfully, fleetingly, in response to a dream. His dark eyelashes flutter a little, then he is quiet again.

The wonder of my son still hangs over me like a warm, luscious summer day that mellows into a cool, refreshing evening. And it makes the wonder of Christmas so much more tangible...

that the unfathomable being of God can be as close and as warm as the baby I hold.

that the unseeable face of God is as near and familiar as my baby's breath and smile.

that the hands that hold the universe together at one time gripped Mary's pinky like my son is gripping mine.

The unimaginable is still unimaginable to me, except that it happened, and it is as real as the babe in my arms.

Anticipating….

Each year, with the approach of Christmas, I find myself fighting a case of the "Scroogeys". 

Why can't I enjoy Christmas like I did when I was young? I wonder.

This year, I promised myself that I wouldn't even go there. I would be intentional about what I choose to do with my time and not allow holiday obligations to bog me down. But it was only after reading a blog post by my husband that I was able to put my finger on the cause of my Scroogey-ness: 

The anticipation is gone.

I'm the one wrapping the presents. Baking the cookies. Cooking the meals. Planning the outings. While my kids are excited about eating the cookies. Playing with the gifts. Drinking the eggnog. Sleeping under the Christmas tree. 

But this year, there was one thing I had to wait for, just like my kids. Because we don't have Netflix or cable, we had to borrow "A Charlie Brown Christmas" from the library. I was nearly giddy as we gathered around our television set to watch it. It brought back childhood memories of waiting all year long for the special to come on television.

My husband took note of this and used it as a springboard for a letter to parents.

Last night my family sat down to watch… he begins.

He goes on to discuss how the perks of being an adult can actually take away the joy of Christmas, because the anticipation that a child experiences due to his/her lack of control is what makes the time so special. But there is  something that adults can anticipate, if we only remember. And it's something far more significant than opening presents and drinking eggnog.

The Jews were unable to know exactly when [the Messiah] would come and they were powerless to hasten God's timing. Through the prophets, Yahweh gave some clues about the Son of David, but with each successive captivity or conquest, God's people held on to the growing anticipation of a coming rescuer… In a post-incarnation universe, we can rejoice that we still have an unfulfilled expectation: the return of Christ in majesty…

My husband finishes by encouraging us to truly live with that sense of anticipation.  

How can "the things of this world grow strangely dim" if we become satisfied with our ability to create and shape our own, individual experience? How can we "store up treasures in heaven" when our capacity for self-fulfillment is unimpeded by a world-system that is more than happy to cater to us?

Let's cultivate (and teach our kids) the discipline of Anticipation. As a family, discuss some things you can do differently to learn how to treasure what we receive from God.

So I leave you with that today. If you are fighting the "Scroogeys" yourself, meditate on the anticipation of Christ. Remove obstacles that keep you from experiencing that joy (clear your schedule, take a break from technology, or volunteer somewhere). Reevaluate your level of dependency on God and your gratefulness to Him for all He's given you. 

(And if you would like to read the full article written by my husband, click on this link:
Cultivating Anticipation)

Christmas Quotes

We can never hope to capture the Christmas spirit and make it our own unless we understand that God is so much greater than we ever thought He was. We thought we knew all about God. The incarnation proved us wrong. ~Dan Schaeffer

If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: 'God with us.' We tend to focus our attention at Christmas on the infancy of Christ. The greater truth of the holiday is His deity. More astonishing than a baby in the manger is the truth that this promised baby is the omnipotent Creator of the heavens and the earth! ~John MacArthur

The giving of gifts is not something man invented. God started the giving spree when he gave a gift beyond words, the unspeakable gift of His Son. ~Robert Flatt

For God so loved the world that He GAVE His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. ~John 3:16