Traditions Old and New

Advent is upon us! People are putting lights on their houses! Cars become transport vehicles for Christmas trees! Stores play carols and Christmas tunes through their loud speakers!

And why does any of it matter? Why do people get excited about Christmas, even if they celebrate it only for secular reasons?

It's the anticipation.

It is something to look forward to during the rest of the year. It marks this time as different from the other months. It gives us a sense of community. And who doesn't like having an excuse to celebrate?

And that is why family traditions are something to think about. Because a tradition is repeated, family members (especially children) can anticipate them. They look forward to the tradition as something out of the ordinary. The traditions are something THEY do, uniting them as a family. And of course, they're fun!

Some families have traditions that are decades old. And a new family can certainly come up with a tradition that will be all their own. But if you grew up with no family traditions, you may not know where to start. My answer to that is: start anywhere! Do something annually and it becomes a tradition! My brother-in-law takes his children out for a hot chocolate on their birthday, starting at the age of three. My nephew and nieces LOVE their birthday hot chocolate with Daddy! So think, what does your family enjoy doing in general? What is considered a treat? What is doable on a regular basis? (Hawaii would be a nice tradition, but only in my dreams!) Then pick a day and do it every year on that day or around that same time.

If you are wanting to start some traditions in your family, Christmas is a great time to do so. Here are some ideas to get you going:

-Buy a potted Christmas tree and plant it. Decorate it with popcorn and cranberry strings, fruit, and nuts for the animals. 

-Do a countdown to Christmas morning by making a paper chain 24 links long. Everyday, tear off a link and watch as the chain grows shorter and shorter. You can also write a Bible verse or "activity for the day" (like "Make popcorn balls") on each chain.

-Tell stories or memories related to each ornament as you put them on the tree.

-Bake goodies and share them with your neighbors. Surprise them with a song on their door step.

-Hike or drive up to a vista point and look at the stars. Try to envision the first Christmas.

-Host an old-fashion caroling outing or singalong. 

-Dress up in make-shift costumes and reenact the Christmas story. Have a narrator read the biblical accounts of the birth while everyone else pantomimes. Children love being Mary, Joseph, angels, or sheep. Infants born that year have the honor of being Baby Jesus.

Remember, though, that traditions are not a rule to live by. They should never feel like shackles. If you find yourself feeling bitter, angry, or stressed because of a tradition, stop. Ask yourself, "What is more important- joy, peace, and love or this tradition?" The traditions may not be worth doing if it causes tension between family members or robs people of the joy of the holiday. Why are we even celebrating? Because it's Jesus's birthday! It's a holy day (the root of the word 'holiday')! And it's not the cookies that make it holy, or the  songs, or the lights! Traditions and decoration should enhance the holiday; don't let them become a distraction.

If you are interested in reading more on traditions or Christmas ideas, here are some quick links:

Christmas Traditions

Our Favorite Christmas Stories

Because we have plans to travel this year, I changed our traditions a bit. But my children and I still look forward to this fun and festive time! The youngest will be introduced to our traditions, and who knows? maybe we'll discover a new tradition this year! 

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 5 or 5)

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~Colossians 3:15-20 (ESV)

I have sat at many Thanksgiving dinners. I have held the kernel of corn and have announced to everyone at the table what I was thankful for that year. And every year, I say the same things: my family, my home, my health, my Savior. They are all wonderful things, of course, but they are the easy answer. It is easy for me to be thankful for a husband who loves me, my beautiful children, a spacious home in California.

But this year, something changed me. At a thanksgiving prayer service a few weeks back, I was asked a question:

"What is hindering you from giving thanks?"

My initial reaction was, "Nothing! I am SO thankful! I'm thankful for everything in my life!"

Then I studied the seven words posted on the wall, seven things that could be keeping me from being truly grateful. It took me a few minutes to be honest with myself. Entitlement, doubt, anger? Nope, nope, nope. I'm good. Bitterness, fear? Nope, nope. I'm good there too. Covetousness? Nope. Anxiety? Nope... wait… hmmm… well… hmmm… maybe…

I finally admitted that I did have some bitterness towards some family members. I did have anxiety concerning homeschooling and my image in the church. I did covet when I visited other people's homes or heard about other people's travels. And as long as I held onto these things, I could not be grateful for those family members, for homeschooling, for my role in the church, for my home, or for God's purpose for me at this time of life.

After prayer and repentance, I relinquished my bitterness, anxiety, and covetousness to God. And for the first time in years, I was able to say that I was thankful for the harder things in my life.

What is hindering you from giving thanks? Is it…

            ENTITLEMENT

                        BITTERNESS         

                                ANGER

                        FEAR

               DOUBT

                      COVETOUSNESS    

                         ANXIETY

May this be the year you trade these in for something better!

Wherever you are this Thanksgiving, may God give you a joyful, grateful day. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to the Father.

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 4 of 5)

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~I Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

I read once that the best cure for grumpiness is to smile. The smile may be forced at first, but it slowly changes your whole attitude and lifts your spirit! 

Words can have a similar affect. By changing one word within a sentence, the sentence can take on a whole new meaning, which in turn, can change your outlook!

Here's an example. Every year as my birthday approaches, my husband reminds me that my attitude towards aging pivots on just one word. In English, I would say "I am thirty-seven-old" but in French (and other romance languages), I would say "J'ai trente-sept ans – I have thirty-seven years." Rather than lament that I'm just getting more wrinkled and gray with each passing year, I can own these years, like I am staking a claim, or like I've reached a wonderful goal in time and wisdom.

So, what does this have to do with thanksgiving? I recently discovered that I say "I have to…" quite a bit. Nothing wrong with that, except that I usually said it with a tone of resignation.

"I have to cook dinner."
"I have to take the kids to the park."
"I have to read the Bible."*

But change the "have" to "get", and my sentences become…

"I get to cook dinner."
"I get to take the kids to the park."
"I get to read the Bible."**

Presto-change-o! Wow, what a difference one word makes! All of a sudden, what were once my duties become my delights! Even the most dreaded chores (like scrubbing the toilet) becomes delightful when I think, "I get to…" Then my whole attitude changes. I remember that there is One who has given me much, and that I have much to be thankful for. Though my acts may be simple and mundane, I am a blessed woman because I CAN do these acts everyday. 

*A quick English language lesson for my international readers–

The colloquialism "have to" means "must". Example: "I have to feed the dog" means "I must feed the dog." 
**The colloquialism "get to" means "to have the opportunity to". Example: "I get to go to the movies tonight" means "I have the opportunity to go to the movies tonight."

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 3 of 5)

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! ~Psalm 105:1 (ESV)

Did you know that…
- if your heart beats an average of 80 beats per minute, it beats 115,200 times in one day?
- if you average 16 breaths per minute while at rest, your lungs will take 23,040 breaths in one day?
- your red bone marrow makes about 2 million red blood cells every second?
- when you take a step, you use 200 muscles to move your leg and feet and to keep your balance?

I give thanks to God for what my body is capable of doing without my help. Can you imagine how hard life would be if we have to consciously will every breath, every heart beat, every blood cell? Our bodies can take in food and distribute it; it can fight most disease and heal itself; it can regulate heat. Even now, as you are reading this, your iris can control how much light enters your eye, your pupil is focusing, your retina is relaying messages to your brain– all without your doing! Amazing!

I know that my body is such a complex system that if one part stops working, I could be dead in a –ahem– heartbeat (sorry, I couldn't help myself). And so every day that I can get out of bed, see my children, say 'Good morning' to my husband– all without thinking– it is all because of God's design! And for that, I am thankful!

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 2 of 5)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. ~Psalm 136:1 (ESV)

Have you ever been thankful for something you didn't receive? I mean, REALLY thankful for what God didn't give you, even though you wanted it with all your heart? We say "Thank You Lord that I don't have cancer" with ease, but how about "Thank You God for not giving me that promotion"?

I wasn't always very grateful as a child. I grumbled as I hung laundry for my family, because many of my classmates had maids. I hated the fact that I qualified for a free lunch at school and had to endure mocking from other girls when they saw what I didn't have sandwiches like theirs. Every time I went to my friends' houses and saw what they had, I left wanting video games, pierced ears, a bigger house, or a nicer car. Even when I visited other churches, I was envious of their building, sanctuary, worship team, and classrooms. I prayed that God would give me these good things. Then I wondered why He didn't.

But it was God's gift to me that He didn't give me all that I wanted! I am more humble and more empathetic today because of what I didn't have. I am able to take care of my family on a tighter budget because I learned how to do so from my parents. I have a different outlook on church that is not based on a building or a worship team.

And this doesn't even touch on all the other times in my life when God DIDN'T give me what I wanted: the man I wanted to marry, the trip I wanted to take, the career I wanted to pursue… the list is unending. Every year, my eyes are opened to yet another way that God has blessed me by NOT giving me what I wanted. I am so grateful that God withheld those things from me, only to give me something BETTER!

"God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful– "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better." ~Elizabeth Elliot

(special thanks to my friend Sharon for sharing this quote with me)

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 1 of 5)

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God! ~Psalm 50:23 (ESV)

In a few weeks, we will be celebrating the holiday of Thanksgiving. I love this holiday because it is simply what its name implies– 'giving thanks'. There are no gifts involved, no candy and chocolate, just a day to remember all that God has provided for us this past year.

But still, even as we are trying to focus on gratitude, there are things competing for our attention. There's always a big game of American football on TV that day. There's also a parade. And of course, there's food, and lots of it. And now some stores have started their Christmas sales on Thanksgiving day. On the day when we should be thinking of all that we have already received, some people choose to go out to buy more.

To remind my children and myself that we should have a spirit of thanksgiving at this time of year, I have made a Thankful Tree. Anyone (and I do mean anyone) can take a leaf from the ground, write one thing or one person for which he/she is thankful, and stick the leaf on the tree. It's like autumn in reverse! Every time I look at the tree, there are more leaves on its branches! And as our Thankful Tree grows, I pray so does our gratitude to God.

A Day Wasted

Today, my husband and I did NOT drive three hours to Chico. 

We did NOT have lunch with our friend there.

We did NOT attend a wedding.

And we did NOT drive three hours home.

Instead, we dropped off the older children at my in-laws (as planned) and my husband went to see a doctor. Then we stayed home all day with our one-year-old.

Even then, with a day wide open before me and not the usual crew to care for, I did not do my usual thing.

I did NOT clean the house. 

I did NOT make dinner. 

I did NOT get ready for school on Monday. 

I had a whole day, and I wasted it on a walk, playing the piano, talking to my neighbors, eating Chinese food from the restaurant down the street, sleeping, being extra kind to my husband, and thinking about how single parents and children from divorced families are the widows and orphans of today.

Okay, so I didn't waste my day.

But some people would have called it a waste, like I took a hundred dollars and spent it all on candy.

"You didn't get anything done today!" they would say.

"Yes, I did!" I would argue back. "I rested." 

And rest is NOT candy.

Rest is nourishment.

How to Travel Through Time

For a school assignment, my sixth-grader had to come up with five questions to ask her great-grandmother or great-grandfather about growing up during the Depression. My daughter tried and tried, but she could not think of anything to ask. 

"Remember, they didn't have computers then. What else could be different?" I suggested.

My daughter's mind was stuck. She had a hard time picturing her great-grandmother as a little girl.

Then an idea struck me. I said, "Okay, imagine you have a time machine. You are going back to the 1930's and you want to know what life was like then for girls."

That helped my daughter finish the assignment. And it gave me a whole new appreciation for the older members of our community. Time travel IS possible! All around us are eye witnesses to the Great Depression, World War 2, and the launch of Sputnik. If we just took the time to sit down with an elderly person, we could learn so much about life before our own time.

But sadly, we don't often take the time. We don't even take the time to remember that these men and women, who are slow, hard of hearing, and sometimes– let's admit it– boring, these people have lived a WHOLE life. They have stories to tell. They have done things we have never done. They have been places we've never been, and seen things that we've never seen. They are time travelers! 

I encourage you all to reach out to the elderly around you. If you are a parent, teach your children to appreciate the older generations. It may seem scary at first to your child, but increase the time your children are around the elderly and your child will grow more comfortable. Let your child ask questions. Talk to them about why some of these people are in wheelchairs and beds, or why some are forgetful. 

Here are more ways to encourage interaction with the senior members of our community:

– If you will see older members of your family for the holidays, sit with your children beforehand and brainstorm questions to ask. Then you can record or video the interview. (Homeschooling families, reuse the interview as a writing assignment later!)

– Go Christmas caroling at a local senior care home. As you sing, shake or touch the residents' hands.

– Invite a senior neighbor or member of your church body to have Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with your family. Many widows and widowers are alone on those special holidays.

– Adopt a grandparent! If your children's grandparents are no longer living, choose another elderly person (or couple) and treat them as you would your own parents!

I remember going on a field trip in the fifth grade to an assisted living facility. In pairs, we had to interview a resident of the home and write a short paper on the person. I was nervous and scared because it was my first time sitting with an older person and asking direct questions (and my first time eating a bagel… with cream cheese!… but that's besides the point…), and to this day, I love being with seniors. Next week, I am bringing my ninety-three-year-old friend to the veterans' dinner at my church. I can't wait to meet more amazing people and hear the many stories that will fill that room!