Praying for My Children

I've always felt that my prayers were… lackluster.

Especially when I read about the great Christian men and women before me who would spend hours on their knees in prayer. Or when I read Paul's beautiful, deep prayers in his epistles. Or when I read how even Jesus would go find a quiet, secluded place to pray to His father. But you already know what my life is like with six children–it is full of constant interruptions. I can hardly find ten minutes in a row to focus on anything, let alone string more than three thoughts together!

And at the top of my list of "inadequacies" in prayer is the fact that I don't pray for my children as often as I should. Oh, I'll pray for that 'troublesome' child when I'm having a bad day. Or when I feel overwhelmed by the thought of my soon-to-be teenagers going out into the wide, wide world. But on a day-to-day basis, I don't pray for God's guidance and presence in my children's lives like I should.

Then, a few weeks back, I was encouraged by my sisters in Christ to rethink my prayer life. While I feel that my prayers are lacking because I don't feel inspired, or keep a prayer journal, or have a set time of solitude, the Bible doesn't say that those are the requirements for prayer. Prayer is about my heart connecting with God's heart. A journal can help with that, or a "quiet" time, but those things don't give my prayer more or less worth. What is more important is what I'm asking for–is it in line with God's will? Am I asking God for things of real worth, for myself and my children?

In Walking With God in the Season of Motherhood, Melissa Kruger writes: 

Often my prayers for my children are simply about the day-to-day circumstances of their lives. While we can talk to God about all our needs, we often forget to pray about the deeper matters related to their spiritual growth. Using the examples of the psalms [see footnote], the Lord's Prayer [see Luke 11], or Paul's prayers helps us to guide our prayers for our children.

Which is a wonderful idea! What would be better than to use God's Word to give me the words I need! And I've always especially loved Paul's words to the early churches…

"I thank my God every time I remember you…and this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight…" (Philippians 1:3-11)

"...since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding…" (Colossians 1:9-12)

"…And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…" (Ephesians 3:14-21)

(Other great prayers are found in 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, Ephesians 1:15-19, and 1 Corinthians 1:4-9.)

Now, you may think that I'm cheating to "borrow" these prayers, rather than to wait for "inspiration" to hit me in a sudden burst of emotion and words, but again, prayer is about our hearts connecting with God's heart. I don't need to be "in the mood" to pray; I just need to be a willing vessel. And why wouldn't I want to pray these words for my children? They point directly to everything in God's will, everything He finds of worth! And so I chose the passage from Philippians (one of my favorite books) to pray over all my children. Some parents choose a different passage for each child, as a sort of creed or anthem for his or her life. 

And because I need a little more help (especially on days when my brain cells feel fried by lunchtime), my friend Elizabeth suggested devoting one day of the week to praying for one specific child. And this works out perfectly for me! Seven days, seven children! If I start with my oldest on Sunday, I will cover ALL my children in prayer by the end of the week. I wrote the days of the week and my children's names on an index card and taped it to my bathroom mirror. Then, even on the craziest days, I will still see the card and find the time to pray as I'm brushing my teeth.

So now, whether I am standing at the sink or sitting reading from my Bible, whether I am alone or surrounded by my ankle-biters, whether my spirit overflows or my spirit is dry, I can pray. I can connect my heart with God's heart. And that is always a good thing, for me, and my children.

(One more thing about the prayers in the epistles: in most of them, Paul writes that he is thankful for these churches, though these churches were far from perfect. In fact, Paul was often writing to correct them of false teaching or practices. But he was still thankful and encouraging. He didn't shy from speaking truth in their lives, but he also spoke in love. Isn't that what we all want for our children?)


*A great resource for praying through the Psalms is The Songs of Jesus by Timothy Keller.

A Blessing

I was blessed yesterday.

Sitting in front of me during service was a mother and her daughter. I had noticed them earlier as they came into the building. The mother had a walker. Her daughter was at her side, helping with each step.

And as they settled in the two seats in front of me, I was able to observe them more closely. The mother was, I'm guessing, seventy-years-old. Her daughter had the beautiful and eternally youthful face of a person with Down's Syndrome, but her reddish-brown hair was beginning to gray at her temples. She must have been nearing fifty.

Fifty years. This woman has been full-time mothering for fifty years! And here I am bemoaning the thirty-one years I will have put in when my youngest will finally turn eighteen. I watched the two interact during the service. I saw the care and patience that the mother had for her daughter. And my heart was filled with admiration for this woman.

I never did find a chance to talk to them. They left as soon as the last 'Amen' was said. But this mother has changed me. I no longer need to waste my time thinking about what I will pursue when my nest is empty; that time will come. I don't need to count the years until I see the light at the end of the tunnel; God only knows how many years I will have. I don't need to envy those who have more time, money, and opportunity; God gives me the exact amount of time, money, and opportunity I need right now. I can focus on the here and now and be faithful to the tasks God has put in front of me, whatever those tasks may be. The baby in my womb could have Down's Syndrome. Something could happen in a few years that will make it impossible for one of my children to live independently. Whatever God brings my way, I will always walk the path that He has put before me.

The Luxury of Choice

This morning, did you have to decide which outfit to wear?

Did you check your watch, then think about taking a shower... or not?

Did you choose what you wanted to eat for breakfast– cereal, eggs, toast, or coffee from Starbucks?

These may sound like strange, silly questions about simple, mundane things, but let me point this out to you: if you are making choices, you are living in luxury.

I was reminded of this the other day when my daughter needed to wash her hands and she came to tell me that someone was in the bathroom.

"Remember, you can always use the other bathroom," I told her. "In fact, you can wash your hands in the kitchen. We have three sinks in this house! THREE!"

At that moment, I was struck by the prosperity around me. Not only do we have three sinks, but they all have hot and cold water! And we have four bedrooms! Families in Hong Kong squeeze into tiny one or two bedroom apartments. And not only do I have one car, I have TWO! Children in Africa walk miles to retrieve water or to go to school. And, if you count all the plates in our house (even if they are chipped or mismatched), we have enough for ten medium-sized families!

And this is only material wealth we're talking about. What about the freedom to do what you want with your time? To say what you want? To go where you want? People in China cannot speak freely. Children in India work all day in dangerous conditions. Men and women in many countries are imprisoned by corrupt police for unjust reasons. There are people STILL living in slavery today, even in the United States, and choice is something they can only dream of.

Take a few seconds today to stop and think whenever you are making a choice. Usually, we make everyday decisions without giving them much thought. Which shoes? Which book? Which store?– we take them all for granted. But our gratefulness will abound if we start seeing that the choice itself is a gift. We will begin to see that everything, from our abilities to walk and talk to reading this blog on a computer, is from God.

Then, if you are interested in learning more about poverty, slavery, and injustice around the world, check out these links:

Compassion International- Facts about poverty- My family has sponsored two children through Compassion International. I especially love reading stories about their "graduates" and how they are now using their education and knowledge to help their families and communities escape poverty.

Made in a Free World- The founder and CEO of this organization used to lead worship at the church I attended in Oakland. He is a gifted songwriter and singer (I often have one of his songs going in my head), but has decided to use his talents to tackle something bigger. Their Slavery Footprint "game" is eye-opening, as is their blog.

International Justice Mission- People living in poverty can barely afford food, so when they are in need of a lawyer or advocate, they are often helpless in their situation. IJM have put rapists in prison and freed innocent men and women. They are also on the front lines of the war against slavery, especially sex-trafficking.

Not Planned, Not a Surprise

Imagine this: your boss comes to you one day and tells you,

"You've been doing an excellent job! I think you're ready for more. So I'm bringing in a new person to your department. He doesn't know anything about our company, but I know you'll do a great job training him. You're probably going to have to work more hours for the same pay, but you're the best person for the job. I have faith in you."

What are you thinking at this point? More hours?! A new guy?! More responsibilities?! Same pay?! I can't do this!

That's close to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant. Only, of course, I don't get paid. And honestly, I don't mind a little extra work. I just wish I feel as confident about my mothering skills as my Boss does.

It's helped that many people around me are excited about the new addition to the Baird family. They tell me what they see of my family, and they reassure me that I will handle seven children just as well as I am handling six. To all of them, I say, "Thank you for your encouragement! Your confidence in me is starting to rub off."

Then there are a few people who don't quite know what to say, except, "Was this a surprise? Or do you plan to have more?!"

I still haven't thought of the best, quick way to answer that.

In our present American culture, babies fall into two categories: planned or surprise. It doesn't make sense to leave something like the number of children one will bear up to "chance", not when there are drugs, surgeries, and other methods to prevent pregnancy.

But this is what I've observed, and this is what I know: children are not a result of "chance". I have friends who cannot get pregnant. I have friends who have sadly experienced multiple miscarriages. Many people who "plan" to have a certain number of children at a certain age find that they cannot fulfill this plan. Which means that ALL babies, either expected or unexpected, are a gift from God, a person that God has purposed, a new life that He has entrusted to two people.

And so, though our baby #7 was not planned, neither was he a surprise. God has blessed me with a body that can carry babies well. And he has called me (as I've come to realize with this child) to this special mission field. Some fly to Africa to spread the Gospel, some go into the inner cities; I am at home, training the next generation of Kingdom Builders. And here's the best part: he has equipped me with all I need to fulfill my tasks. He's not a Boss who sits in a  nice suit, in a fancy office, and just observes; He gets in there with His workers, into the sweat and muck. I feel confident in my job because I have complete confidence in Him.

It took me a long time to gather my thoughts together for this post. I am now 21 weeks along. We find out today if the baby is a little boy or a little girl (the tie-breaker!). I pray that all will continue to go well during these last four months, so that I can say that, by the grace of God, I've given birth to seven children and have never experienced a miscarriage.

Seven blessings from God. All by God's grace. Hallelujah!