Purpose in the Futility

"Do I even need to get dressed anymore?"

A popular question nowadays. It makes me wonder if I'm being a bad mom for making my kids dress everyday, and more on Sundays.

But I get it. The novelty of wearing PJs all day (or at least pajama bottoms when we have conference calls) is diminishing. Here in California, we have been sheltering in place for 5 weeks, and for some of us, there just doesn't seem to be a purpose in our days anymore. We get out of bed... for what? Read some books, watch some TV, eat some food, look at the news on Covid-19, go back to bed, do it again the next day. 

If you are feeling this way–listless, bored, purposeless, teetering on the edge of depression–I hope to encourage you with stories of some well-known biblical heroes, namely Joseph, Esther, and Daniel.

Joseph was sold into slavery, living in Egypt, miles away from his family.

Esther, a Jewish girl growing up under Persian rule, was taken to be a part of the Persian king's harem.
Daniel was taken captive to live in Babylon under King Nebuchednezzar.

These three people all had reasons to be depressed. Their lives were turned upside down. They were far from their families. And they were in situations where they had to act under compulsion, or lose their heads. Surely they had days when they wondered, "Why? Why should I do this? Why should I even get up today?" It was difficult for them to see the purpose in what they were doing, or the purpose in what God was doing.

And yet, Joseph, Esther, and Daniel not only carried on, day by day, they excelled in their work. 

Joseph became the overseer of all his master's property.

Esther was chosen to be the new queen.
Daniel was a high advisor to king.

They had every reason to give in to their depression and trudge through their day, but they didn't. And God, with His purpose, used them in amazing ways! Genesis 39:3 tells us this about Joseph, "His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands." A few chapters later, the Bible tells us that "Pharaoh said to his servants, 'Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?'" (Genesis 41:38 ESV)

And what was the result?

Joseph's reputation proceeded him and he eventually became the overseer of Pharaoh's property and saved the kingdom from a famine.

Likewise, Esther did her queenly duties and found favor with  the King, saving the Jewish people from genocide.
Daniel faithfully served the King Nebuchadnezzar, and his son Darius, who decreed that the kingdom will serve only Daniel's God after Daniel survived the lions' den. 

These past five weeks, I've been tempted to give in to depression. I'm just a suburban mom, not a nurse or doctor on the front lines. I certainly won't be saving the world by teaching piano lessons and making videos of my family singing! But we don't know God's purpose in all this. Our story, like the stories of Joseph, Esther, and Daniel, is much bigger than us. God is with us, He does have a purpose, and we can excel in spite of the situation! We can shine His light!

Galatians 6:9-10 reminds us: "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

So here are some ideas to help you (as they have helped me) find purpose in your day:

1) Look heavenward and outward. Keep focused on God. Brainstorm ways to aid others.

1) Get out of your pajamas. What you wear can affect your mental outlook. 

2) Set up a plan to do something everyday–read the Bible,  call someone, or dig deeper into the Word with videos like the Bible Project.

3) Go outside and take in God's majesty. Take a walk. Or just step out onto your front step and look up at the sky. Read a book or eat lunch outside. The change of scenery and the fresh air will revive you.

4) Find reasons to celebrate: birthdays, half-birthdays, losing a first tooth, whatever! 

3) Send cards of encouragement, especially to those who are alone. Many residents in senior care homes cannot leave their rooms at this time. There are also people hurting in deeper ways right now. My friend's wife is in hospice care, and he can only visit her from afar. And I can't even offer a shoulder for him to cry on! Another friend's daughter is a first year out of medical school. She is caring for Covid-19 patients and recently lost her first patient. A gentle note reminds them that they are not alone.

4) Pick up a new hobby. Then use the new hobby to encourage people. My friend Angie has always wanted to learn how to watercolor, so she looked up some YouTube videos and started making these!

5) Healthcare workers, delivery people, and others in essential businesses are working long, taxing hours. If you have neighbors in these fields, offer to help with their grocery shopping, or bring them a meal. Put out snacks, wrapped toilet paper, face masks, or hand sanitizer on your porch for delivery people to take with them.

6) Do some research and see how you can help locally. Our local shelter for abused women and children needs food donations. The blood bank still needs blood.

7) Many missionaries are seeing situations more dire than ours, where families are out of work and starving, or children are basically orphans because their family is in the hospital. Contact missionaries through your church, Compassion International, World Vision, or other Christian organizations and ask how you can help.

Joy in the Trials

My husband is currently reading through the book of Proverbs with the family at breakfast time. A few days ago, he read this:

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. (Proverbs 14:4 ESV)

When I heard those words, I had to chime it.

"My version is 'Where there are no children, the house is clean, but abundant joy comes by the presence of children.'"

And boy, am I feeling this right now!

With all of us at home, playing, creating, schooling, and working, the house pretty much looks like a disaster ALL THE TIME. We have close to a hundred books checked out from the library. On top of that, my husband brought home books from his office. The little boys have been setting up trains or scenes with tiny army men on the floor. My older kids are drawing and painting and cutting up cardboard boxes. And I'm in the kitchen cooking and baking, and now, preparing for Easter treats. 

But I go back to the proverb (my version). Joy, different from happiness, is rooted in knowing that God has me in His Hands, despite my situation. My children, in their joyful, innocent, trusting way, remind me that I too can trust in my Father. 

Life does not looking normal right now, and there are times when I almost can't stand the chaos, but I can't deny that there is much joy in our house. We are healthy. The children are working on projects together. My husband has spent more time with the kids than ever before. I see the older ones playing with the younger ones, and their laughter is contagious! We may not like living in these uncertain times, in almost complete seclusion, but at the same time, I am noticing the benefits. Whereas before, I would look at the calendar in astonishment and wonder, "Where did the time go?!", I feel like I'm actually experiencing each and every day.

I remember a quote recently shared to me by a dear friend. Fanny Crosby, the blind author who penned the words to the hymn 'Blessed Assurance', wrote this about joy:

Blindness cannot keep the sunlight of hope from the trusting soul. One of the easiest resolves that I formed in my young and joyous heart was to leave all care to yesterday and to believe that the morning would bring forth its own peculiar joy.

And that is what I've been doing–looking for the day's "peculiar joy". 

And one of these joys is music making with my family. We've always had a few reluctant kids who just did NOT want to perform, but now, without the pressure of an actual audience, they are emerging from their shells. For the first time, we've been able to musically involve all the older children in some way. And we've even put our music on Youtube! You can look us up under Homespun Royale (our band's name) or click on this link to hear our version of Ms. Crosby's Blessed Assurance (which actually has all 8 kids "participating" in the video!) 

So at this time, as difficult as it may be to adjust to homeschooling, entertaining, and feeding your children around the clock, find your "peculiar joys". Make memories. Stop to take mental pictures. Thank God for this time together.

The Light in the Dark

I’m sheltering with nine people – my husband and our eight kids. By God’s grace, we have yet to have a major blowup (though no shortage of minor ones), and by God’s provision (through many kind friends), we have yet to run out of toilet paper. 

My main job right now is to break up the humdrum of our day-to-day sameness by making things “interesting” – what interesting meal can I make with what’s in the refrigerator? what interesting crafts and games can we come up with? what interesting virtual playdates and trips can I schedule for the afternoon? So far, I’ve baked apple strudel, we’ve made popsicle stick catapults, and we’ve learned a new line dance.

And that’s been the easy part! The greater difficulty is fielding the kids’ questions.

“Is anyone coming over today?”

“When can we go the library?”

“How much longer will this go on for?!?!?”

I try my best to answer their questions, doing what I can to calm their restlessness, and their hearts. Then back to “cheerleader” mode I go! Who wants to line dance?

The truth is, behind my bold front, I am just as uncertain as my children are. I don’t have the answers. I feel anxious and unsettled too. And so I go to my father, my Heavenly Father. 

James 1:17 (ESV) tells us that “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

During this time of uncertainty, one thing is certain. God knows what lies ahead. He is sustaining us through this time with His gifts of peace and love. He is our solace and aid. And for Him, this isn’t some bold front. He truly is, and always has been, our steady foundation, especially during shaky times. He is our hope, our light in the darkness. 

And this is no flickering candle, no glimmer in the distance, no ordinary light. This is a light that “shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5 ESV). Another favorite verse of mine says, “Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you” (Psalm 139:12 ESV).

This feels like a time of darkness, but remember this: it is not darkness to the Father of lights. Take some time today to sit with your Heavenly Father and bask in the warmth of His light.