I went shopping at Costco today, with my mask on, of course. As I was pushing my cart towards the rotisserie chickens (dinner for tonight), I noticed an older gentleman looking at me.
No, he was staring at me.
I tried to give him a friendly smile, but that's hard to do, with a mask on.
He finally stopped looking at me and went back to his shopping, but it made me think,
"What was going on in his mind?"
Was he thinking I was one of the Chinese responsible for bringing over the Coronavirus? Was he thinking I should go back to my country?
And once that thought was in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if other shoppers saw me that way. They saw my black hair and dark eyes and yellow-toned skin and that was enough. Even if they caught the hint of a smile under my mask, it wouldn't matter to them. I was Chinese. Period.
But I was probably being overly dramatic. The man wasn't looking at me for more than a second; it just felt longer.
I continued with my shopping.
Then I passed an African-American woman. I tried to give her a small smile. Too late. She didn't see it. Or I mean, she didn't see my eyes crinkling in a friendly manner.
And what was she thinking then? That I didn't smile at her because I don't like African-Americans? That I looked down at her because of her skin color?
My mind couldn't stop. The next thing I knew, I was in a shopping cart traffic jam in the bread aisle.
Then I remembered about social distancing!
Did these people think I was being irresponsible? Were they mad because I wasn't keeping my distance? Did they want me to stay away?
Fortunately, at this point I ran into a friend from church. We started talking about his baby coming in July and baking bread at home. I forgot about the questions in my head and thought more about how to care for my friend and his family.
Fortunately, at this point I ran into a friend from church. We started talking about his baby coming in July and baking bread at home. I forgot about the questions in my head and thought more about how to care for my friend and his family.
Fear can be contagious; it can spread through a crowd quicker than Covid-19. As I finished my shopping trip, I realized that I had had a glimpse of what it would be like to live in a world of fear, to be afraid of people–the very people that Jesus commands us to love.
"Love your neighbor" sounds easy when we talk about it from the comfort of our living rooms. If you asked me if I was a kind person, I would say "yes." But deep down, if I dare to admit it, loving my friend is one thing, while loving my enemy is a totally different thing.
Jesus doesn't see it as two different cases though. His love for a friend is the same as his love for an enemy.
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)
A neighbor may be your friend... or he may be your enemy.
My pastor asked this question last Sunday, "Which of these people would you help–a rioter? A first responder? A scared neighbor?"
It's good to ask ourselves these questions:
If someone spray painted nasty words on my store front, would I help this person if I saw him/her lying on the street?
If someone made threats against my family, would I still help this person if he/she was injured?
If a neighbor ignored me every day, would I still offer help when I saw him/her struggling with something?
Will I allow myself to be ruled by fear, or ruled by love?
