New Year, New Fruit

As I thought about this blog post, I realized that every January, I write something that starts with, "I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions, but..."

And it's true. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, only because I don't believe that there is anything more magical about making a life change on January 1st than making a change on any other day of the year.

But there is something about the "tick tock" of 11:59, December 31st becoming the "tick tock" of 12:00, January 1st that makes a person think. We all hope that life will be better in the New Year–not worse, not the same, but better. The change in number marks the passage of time, and it should mark a change in us. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV) says, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." The New Year is a new season. It's a new page, both literally and figuratively.

So, I was thinking about my 2021. What do I want it look like? In 2020, I have had more friends lose loved ones. My friend Sarah passed away on December 28th. She was a person I looked up to; despite enduring physical pain for most of her life, she was a beautiful, joyful soul, an amazing singer, and the best mother to her two little ones and best wife to her husband. I've also had many blessings in 2020–wonderful memories with my family, personal creative growth, and spiritual growth too. So how do I continue in this growth? In light of Sarah's passing, how do I best use the time I have left in my life? 

This is what came to mind:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)

In the past, I've prayed for more love, more joy, more patience (especially patience!) and whenever I acted unlovingly or grumpily or impatiently, I just prayed for more love, more joy, more patience! I thought that was what I needed. And really, eight of the nine things listed as the fruit of the Spirit are all things I want more of, all except... self-control.

I don't know how you feel about self-control, but it always felt a little out-of-place to me on this list. It just sounds more... blah. In a Bible passage that gives me warm fuzzies when I read it, self-control seems like something Paul just tacked on. "Oh yeah, and self-control. I'll just put it here with these other things." Love and joy and everything else make me feel more free, and self-control sounds so restrictive.

But this time, as I meditated on Galatians 3:22-23, I had this thought.

When I think of the times I've acted unlovingly or grumpily or impatiently, my regret afterwards was usually, "I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have said that." All the times I've yelled at the kids, it wasn't more patience I needed, but more self-control! There is a reason Paul put self-control on the list!

I told my husband about this revelation. He got so excited about it! Why do we think of self-control in terms of how much dessert we eat on Christmas Eve or how much we drink on New Year's Eve? God practices self-control... all the time! If He didn't, all His power would be unleashed on us! And Jesus, He is described as a man of meekness. What is meekness? Strength under control. Jesus is also self-controlled!

And so I'll be making 2021 the Year of Self-Control. If I can control myself better, then I will also have more fruit of the Spirit! That thought actually gives me warm fuzzies!

How about you? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Which would you like to focus on this year?

Merry Christmas!

 2020 was a strange, difficult, exhausting, weary year. 

May you find hope, and rejoice!

The Aches of Pains of Growing Old (and the Hope of Christmas)

 As I grow older, I experience more aches and pains. 

Sometimes it's the physical ache–the tendonitis that just won't go away, or the lower back pain that keeps me from running like I used to.

But more and more now, it's the heart ache. The older I get, the more sadness I experience. I've seen friends suffer through cancer, young people die, families say goodbye to a spouse, a parent, or a grandparent. There are many people who will be going through this Christmas with a hole in their heart. And this gave me a new perspective on Christmas.

The tree is lovely, gift-giving is lovely, the lights are lovely, but the focus of Christmas should be on the very fact that there was pain involved. Mary faced rejection when her neighbors and friends found out that she was pregnant out of wedlock. Joseph had to look people in the eye even if they talked about him behind his back. Jesus was born naturally, with no heavenly epidural to ease his mother's contractions.

And this baby grew and experienced the death of his father. He experienced prejudice, being a Galilean. I'm sure he experienced bruises, cuts, and illnesses too. And ultimately, he experienced torture and death.

This sounds like a big downer at a time like Christmas, but THIS is what gives us hope! Christmas is the celebration of our Rescuer coming to be "God with Us." He isn't a metal robot who is immune to feeling nicks and scratches. He isn't a God who is out of reach and out of touch. He KNOWS what we're going through, and He's right there with us as we're going through it. And... get this... this is not the end of the story. This is not the end of YOUR story. There is more to come... more hope, more joy, more peace, more love.

If you are experiencing loss right now, hold on to the Hope of Christmas.  That's what I'm clinging to with all my might as my heart prepares to say good-bye to a friend soon.

This Year, Try a New Tradition!

I've heard from several families that this year they would like to try something new for Christmas. We're all wanting to make this Christmas extra special and memorable!

So here is a simple tradition that my family does... with books! We start on December 1st and go until the 24th, and there is still plenty of time for you to get some books ready for next week.

This is what I do:

I collect our Christmas picture books, and borrow several from the library (sometimes ones we've read before, sometimes new stories), and I wrap them in Christmas paper. Some people like to wrap all the books at once, and the kids can see them as a kind of "count down" to Christmas. I like to wrap a few at a time (3-5) to minimize confusion and reuse the paper if I can (and I don't really have the space for 24 books to sit). Then every day, one child gets to "open" a "present", and we "oh" and "ah" over his/her choice and read the story together! It's a fun way to incorporate read-aloud, and also helps kids who are itching to open something before Christmas.

If you're in search of some great Christmas books to share with your family this year, let me suggest these!

Our absolute favorites:

Santa's Favorite Story by Hisako Aoki
A picture book that perfectly combines Santa with the true Hero of Christmas

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

This is a chapter book for read-aloud or older children, but it's best read together. You'll see Christmas with fresh eyes!

The Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The old English may be hard, so I recommend reading this aloud, or listening to an audio version of it. But don't think that watching a movie of this story (even the Muppets version... my favorite) is enough. Most adaptations remove Dickens's Christian message (and his humor– that Dickens is surprisingly funny!) Focus on the Family Radio's Radio Theater also has a wonderful audio drama version.

Christmas Tapestry by Patricia Polacco

A longer picture book that always moves me to tears 

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

How that traditional little candy can tell a wondrous story

Great Joy by Kate DiCamillo

A simple, touching story about a girl and a homeless man

More favorites:

Follow the Star (all the way to Bethlehem) by Alan and Linda Parry - interactive book, has little letters and puzzle pieces

Shall I Knit You a Hat? by Kate Elise

One Night in a Stable by Guido Visconti

The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado

Tree of Cranes by Allen Say

Oliver and Amanda's Christmas by Jean Van Leeuwen

Toot and Puddle: I'll be Home for Christmas by Holly Hobbie

Toot and Puddle: Let it Snow by Holly Hobbie

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

A Homemade Together Christmas by Maryann Cocca-Leffler

Zelda and Ivy One Christmas by Laura McGee Kvasnosky

Lighthouse Christmas by Toni Buzzeo

Cranberry Christmas by Harry and Wende Devlin

A Christmas Like Helen's by Natalie Kinsey-Warnock

Auntie Claus by Elise Primavera

The Wild Christmas Reindeer by Jan Brett

The Christmas Trolls by Jan Brett

(and if you like Jan Brett's books, she has a plethora of Christmas stories: The Night Before Christmas, Who's that Knocking on Christmas Eve?, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Home for Christmas. All her Christmas stories can be found in one book, the Jan Brett's Christmas Treasury)