Friends, or "Friends"

When I was in the second grade, I learned an important lesson: how to win friends.

I had moved from Hong Kong to the United States just one year before.

Then after attending first grade in one school, my family moved to another part of town and I had to begin all over again at a different school.

So I found myself trying to break into established social circles while speaking a new language. I spent many lonely lunches by myself, chasing butterflies on the grass and biding my time until class started again. I honestly believed that if I could get a butterfly to sit on my hand, it would prove that I'm special in some way, and maybe my classmates would notice me too.

The butterflies never chose me. But it didn't matter. One day, I brought a pack of ramen noodles to school. But I didn't eat it in a bowl with warm water. Instead, I crushed up the noodles in the packaging, then opened the bag, took out the spice package, and shook the spices onto the bits of uncooked noodles. The result was a tasty, salty, crunchy treat, and soon I was a favorite among some of my classmates.

It didn't take me long to realize that as long as I brought ramen noodles to school, people paid attention to me at lunchtime. I knew that they weren't really my friends, but I didn't care. For five to ten minutes at lunch every day, I was not alone.

Funny how, many years later, memories like this suddenly come back to you. Second grade was nearly forty years ago. And this afternoon, as I was washing dishes, I realized that I still often think that my friends just want something from me. I don't expect people to truly want to be with me. Deep down, I still think that people like me only for what I can give them or do for them. I had learned this lesson as a little girl, but I had learned it too well.

Of course, I have friends who love me; they tell me so often. I just don't allow myself to believe it. And they aren't just Facebook "friends"–they bring me meals, check up on me, take my kids to the park so I can rest, and invite us over. But if I'm completely honest with myself, I still don't really believe that they love me just for being me. It shows in how I hold back sometimes–how I can't be open in conversations, or how I hesitate to ask for help. Forty years later, I have a lesson to unlearn. I myself need to work on being more than a "friend". 

In this present culture of social media, commuting, texting, and fast-paced living, true friendship–having a deeper connection with a person and loving him/her for who he/she is, not what he/she can do for us–is slowly fading away. If you want to fight this trend in your life, I recommend this book: Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship, by Justin Whitmel Earley.

Who Does She Look Like?

When I look at you

I don't see your sister

Nor your brother

Nor your father

Nor even me

When I look at you

I see the Designer

the Artist

the Architect

the Sculptor

the Engineer

the Knitter

the Scientist

the Musician

the Writer

the One who gifted me with this work of art

and allowed me to hold His masterpiece

this six pound eleven ounce masterpiece

in my arms

Advice to Young Artists

I started teaching classes for my local branch of Christian Youth Theater in 2021. I never saw myself as a natural with teenagers (in high school, I always preferred to be with the children or sit with the adults), but I found myself really loving my time with the teens. In each young artist, I saw glimpses of my younger self: unsure and awkward, but eager to walk through open doors, if someone would just believe in me.

So I found ways to give bits of life advice in the midst of teaching singing technique and harmonies. I wanted these teens to know what I wish I had known at their age–what I wish someone had told me as I was learning to write, draw, paint, sing, and play the piano.

And that's what this post is about. I've written about creativity in one book, and about teenagers in another, and now I'll combine both loves and share with all young artists out there bits of advice that, I hope, will help them in their journey. I've also asked my artist friends to contribute (including my personal artistic heroes Ben Hatke and Sara Groves!!!), so scroll down to read their words of advice!

1) It's okay to copy...

I learned to draw and paint horses from copying drawings and paintings of horses. Studying someone else's work taught me to see the shapes, shadows, and colors that would be difficult for me to see on a live, moving horse (besides that I was living in Queens, New York, at the time, where there were no horses.) Once I understood how a horse was structured, I was able to try drawing horses on my own. Even so, professional artists work with models and reference photos all the time. It is not a requirement that you can draw everything from your head to be a good artist. Dancers, actors, musicians, writers... start by studying and copying the artists you admire. Now read on...

2) ... but find your own style.

When I hear young singers, oftentimes they want to sound just like the recording of their favorite singer. But the goal is to be a good singer, not a good mimic! As an artist, there is a point where you have to leave the safety net of copying and come up with your own creative ideas. Take the dance moves you learned and choreograph your own dance. If you like Billy Collins's poems, that's great, but mimic his style in your own voice. Don't sing like Ariana Grande; sing like YOU!

3) Try new focuses within your craft. 

If you love drawing animals (like me), also work on drawing people or objects (that's what I'm doing now). If you dance ballet, try tap or jazz. If you play classical music, learn to improvise by reading a lead sheet and playing from chord charts. In other words, don't get stuck on one thing. Don't be like "I only do graffiti style art, that's my thing." It may not come as easily as you like (jazz is still difficult for me to play), but by taking chances and stretching your mind, you'll also stretch your skills and be a more well-rounded artist.

4) Don't think in terms of winning or losing.

One of the biggest mistakes young artists make is believing that if they don't get the lead, or the solo, or the first place ribbon, they are a failure. Every attempt is worth taking.

5) It takes time, both long term and short term.

Another mistake young artists often make is waiting around for inspiration to hit. Learn to make your art a daily practice. When I was working on my musical, I did a little every day, no matter what. And it still took me years to finish it! And I was able to write it only after years of studying and practicing piano, music theory, composition, choral music, and writing. When I was a teenager, I would have NEVER imagined that I would be writing a musical in thirty years. I just saw piano playing as either a hobby or a chore. I am thankful now that my parents told me to practice the piano for an hour everyday! As I matured, I gave myself assignments: set this poem to music; harmonize this melody; write a short story using a given prompt. The key is to keep practicing your craft. For example, if you draw, carry a small sketchbook with you and rather than look at your phone while waiting for something, sketch your hand, your shoes, or your surroundings. When I started this blog, I set a goal to write something every week; that's when my writing really took off! And...

A few months ago I got an idea to dress birds up in clothes.
I didn't know if it would work, but I started sketching.... 

6) Don't worry so much about the final product.

Every project doesn't need to be a big, impressive final product. There are plenty of songs I never finished writing. Many drafts of stories that stayed drafts in my notebook. Pages and pages of sketches that were failed attempts at capturing an idea in my mind. The key is to just start and see where it takes you. Don't be afraid of the blank page. Don't keep your sketchbooks shiny and pristine. Remember that you are on a journey of learning and practicing, and every step you take, whether big or small, is moving you along!

7) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do NOT compare yourself with others.

This was my biggest downfall. I spent my high school years constantly comparing. "She sings louder and higher than me." "His photos are so much more creative than mine." Now I know that there are certain things that a person can change about him/herself through learning, and there are certain things that a person cannot change. For singers, your physical structure dictates somewhat how high or low or loud you can sing. Some people are naturally loud. I, on the other hand, am naturally quiet. With training, I've exercised my voice to be louder and stronger, but I can only reach a certain level of loudness before I start hurting myself. And I will never be able to sing the high notes my daughter can sing–she's a natural soprano, and I am not. Again, I've trained my voice to reach some of the higher notes, but I physically cannot even squeak out a high C. So why waste my time lamenting over what I cannot do?! Other things that I can't do well (or at all): dance, play sports, play the violin, whistle, juggle. And that's okay. Nowadays, we hear this message: You can be anything you want to be. The truth is, I will never be a Major League baseball player or a ballerina, no matter how hard I work at it. But I can focus on what I'm good at, develop the talents God has given me, and become the best writer/artist/musician I can be. And be grateful everyday that I get to do what I love! 

(AND WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA! DON'T WATCH VIDEOS OF THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD PRODIGY OR TWELVE-YEAR-OLD CELEBRITY AND COMPARE YOURSELF TO THEM!! DON'T DO IT!!!)

And now, some excellent advice from other artists...

Aaron Anderson
Photographer
andersonvisuals.com

What you are going to experience is more fun and beautiful than you can ever imagine, you will do things and see things that are inspiring in every way, most of which are once in a lifetime and few people will ever experience. It will also be one of the hardest things you've ever done, there will be moments where you question your own sanity, where nothing makes sense and it feels like everything is falling apart. You will have to hold on, and believe in what you're doing even when there is no logical explanation or evidence that you aren't a crazy person. In the end you need to make sure you enjoy every moment, don't get so caught up in what others are doing and what you don't have, and allow yourself to drink in the experiences that you've been given.

Joanna Crawshaw Miller
Painter/Visual Artist
joannacrawshaw.com

Never stop learning.

Don't be afraid to try something new.

Surround yourself with other creatives, including older creatives.

Go see shows, plays, concert, etc.

Keep your eyes open; inspiration comes from everywhere.

Camden Daly
Pianist/Accompanist/Conductor/Composer

Stay patient. You are going to learn so many things... things will come your way.

Jana Gehring
Painter/Visual Artist
leafbyjana.com

Don't be so afraid of looking different or slowing 'everyone' down that you ignore the desires you have to play with paint and pencil.

You'll almost never feel "ready" or that things are "finished". Frame them/finish them anyway, and learn what you can to keep going.

Spend as much time as you can playing and learning from your materials and techniques and methods. You'll never regret the time you spent learning to draw or paint something new, or learning a new medium. It's all building blocks you can use later.

You can do a lot more with 15 minutes a day, most of the time, than you can with 4 hour blocks once a week. Don't let "I only have a bit of time–it's not worth it" stop you.

Sara Groves
Singer/Songwriter/Recording Artist
saragroves.com

Don't edit yourself. You can't play the role of producer and songwriter in your head at the same time. There has to be a point in the process where you let it ALL out, unedited. You might edit later on, but you have to be in no-idea-is-a-bad-idea mode when you are creating.

Don't teach; bear witness. The songs that move me are just bearing witness to what is true about life. Even in a song that is written for advocacy–if I feel like my story telling is devolving into finger wagging, or a sales pitch, I back and rework.

Songwriting is not prose. It doesn't have to be linear or make sense in story-form. Sometimes a collection of words evoke emotion and create a setting better than any word-for-word description.

"God is the ocean and we keep writing about a cup of water." Producer Charlie Peacock told me this years ago, and it has stayed with me. The subjects for songs are everywhere, inexhaustible.

Ben Hatke
Author/Artist/Illustrator/Fire Eater
benhatke.com

Making art consists of two skills–the skill of *making* and the skill of *sharing*. How you combine those two skills is up to you. For instance you could use the Emily Dickinson Method, where you write poetry every day, very well, and put it all in drawers to be discovered after your death. You could also work like a performance artist, making art live and up close before your audience with every bit of your process on display.

When I was in college I enjoyed making a series of stores I called "Bathroom Comics." These were sheets of paper I would tack up to the wall in our dormitory bathroom and I would add a little bit to the story every time I was in there. My roommates loved it (I enjoyed hearing them laugh when they were using the facilities).

Both making and sharing have their challenges and can be scary. You have to make a habit of both (even if you are using the Emily Dickinson Method you have to form the habit of always putting the poem in the drawer).

I think you have to practice *every day*. As the painter Apelles (4th century BC) said: "never a day without a line." So keep those sketchbooks! Scribble those half-formed ideas. Learn every day and don't worry if your drawings are "perfect."

Genoa McDowell Sperske
Dancer/Choreographer/Director

Trust that you - as you are, as God made you - are enough. There will be people tearing you down as you learn your craft. Always take the opportunity to learn, but don’t let critiques lead you to change your spirit. You have something to offer the world. Find teachers who see that and guide you to develop the great things about you. Find the right balance between being strong in who you are and being teachable and open to self-development.

Find the space that is right for you. If you feel like your artistic community isn’t aligning with your personal convictions or isn’t emotionally healthy, find a new one. Or move into a different aspect of your art that supports you mentally, emotionally, spiritually. For example, if the competitive nature of auditioning as a performer feels like it’s weighing on you emotionally, try teaching for a little while. Take care of your soul to become a better artist. 

Remember that your worth doesn’t come from your art - what you produce, what role you land, etc. God gave you a special gift, but He would love you just the same without it. Your worth is in the fact that God made you and loves you. Try not to find your identity in your art. 

Humility and empathy go a long way in the arts. People and relationships are more important than the art you produce. Making art together is one of the most amazing feelings and you can’t have a positive experience making art with others without humility and empathy.

Bottom line - Stay true to yourself, be teachable, don’t find your worth and identity in your art, stay humble. 

Martha McDowell
Actor/Singer/Musician

Commit the gifts God has given them to Him and make Him an audience of One in both your preparations and performances. Work at your gift striving to please Him primarily. He will comfort you when you are disappointed in some aspect of your art whether it's not getting a role or making a mistake in a music recital. Because God has a plan for every aspect of your life you can trust Him to develop whatever area of art He has blessed you with. If you glorify God in your attitude and effort He will bless you. I know this from direct experience.

Alyssa Penman
Paper and Fiber Artist

It is enough to create what I do because it brings me joy. Comparison is the thief of joy and it is so true when you are one among so many talented artists. Also, it isn't foolish or crazy to want to make a living from creative pursuits. Maybe if I had pushed on when I was younger it would be easier to find my niche.

Heather Warren
Dancer/Choreographer/Actor/Singer

Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to try something new! Personally, my biggest regret in life was passing up a job with East Bay Parks as a Naturalist-in-training for what now seems like silly reasons. I'm trusting that God is using my decisions to place me exactly where I should be, but there were times I was afraid to jump into the new and unknown. Don't be afraid to try and fail!

A Fickle Gut

A short post today. This is what I was thinking about in the wee early hours as I lay in bed...

My gut is broken.

And by gut, I don't mean my intestinal insides that be can fixed by changing my diet and ingesting more probiotics, or my changes in appetite throughout the nine months of pregnancy. I mean the instinct inside me that is supposed to guide me through life. Somewhere along the way, during my childhood years, between moving so often, being bullied, not feeling affirmed enough, growing up in the Chinese tradition–a myriad of things–my "guide" broke.

Sometimes "following your gut" is a good thing, but in my case, I would be in a world of trouble, because my gut is not always trustworthy. 

I would take my small revenge–my gut tells me,"You deserve it. He/she owes it to you."

I would be fearful of everything–my gut says, "Something out there will hurt you or your child."

I would doubt myself all the time–my gut whispers, "Don't try it. You'll probably fail." or "Rita, you made a mistake... again."

I would avoid conflict–my gut screams, "Run away! Protect yourself!"

We are broken people living in a broken world. Life happens–the good and the bad–and most of the time, my jerk reaction to the bad is just not reliable. This is a lesson I need to learn again and again: trust in the Word, trust the Holy Spirit's promptings, and trust people I know in the family of God. When I get lax and overly confident in my own abilities, I go with my emotions; then without realizing it, I may choose to take the easy route, the route of self-preservation. But that route is not always the right route. 

Overriding my natural responses and emotions is not easy. It's an uncomfortable place to be–sometimes it's downright painful!–but it's better than listening to the fickleness of my gut.

Ready to Meet Baby!

It's been a busy end to our summer. We squeezed in some fun days at the beach and friends' swimming pools, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, we sent one daughter off to college in faraway North Carolina, I worked extra hours to help pay for her schooling (and the increase in our rent in an already overpriced housing market), and we started another year of homeschooling.

But lately, I haven't felt very productive. I have projects awaiting me, but I'm achy and tired by the end of the day. Then I remind myself that it's okay to allow myself to focus on simply being mom to my nine children right now.  At 34 weeks pregnant, I'm telling myself, "You're making a baby. That's productive."

And I'm still in awe of this whole process. The ninth time is not any less magical than the first. When I wake in the middle of the night to the feel of my little girl's strong kicks in my abdomen, I am still taken by surprise at this whole process!

Nine months ago, this person did not exist except in the mind of her Creator.

I'm making in me something that is far more complex than anything Man could ever make, and yet, I am not doing the making; I am simply the vessel. The making is happening on its own.

This new person is in me, but a person all her own. She wakes when I sleep, she moves when I lay down, she is her own being. And... she responds to piano music. When I'm teaching piano lessons, it's like she's dancing inside of me. I love that.

We are eagerly counting down the weeks until we get to meet this new person. Baby clothes are ready, carseat and diapers are ready... I just need a bassinet from a friend and then we're good to go. And I am eagerly counting down the days when I'm no longer pregnant! Because not only does that mean I can wear my old clothes again and eat a normal diet again, I can hold my ninth child in my arms for the first time!

My New Book!

Many years ago, when I had five children age 11 and under, I wrote my first book. It was based on hilarious and profound things my children would say, full of stories of life in the Baird house. 

Now, there are EIGHT children, ranging from age 5 to 19. You can imagine the conversations we have! There are plenty of quibbles about who should be first, or the lack of personal space in our house, but most of the conversations are just hilarious, silly, and oftentimes, charming.

My new book is full of stories of my family. You'll meet my children. You'll get a glimpse of our homeschooling life, and how we manage with only two bathrooms. Here's a sneak peak:

You may think that homeschooling eight kids is tough, but remember that with homeschooling, I don't need to drop off or pick up or deal with homework ("because it's all homework," my kids would say.)

And really, when my littles are simply following and doing what their older siblings are doing, may job's not tough at all! I  teach science, history, and foreign language to all the children, regardless of age. We truly do have a one-room schoolhouse!

But I have found over the years that not every child catches (or remembers) everything I teach. The younger children pick up a lot, but they don't always make the right connections. So just because we've covered geology or US history once doesn't mean that I won't have to teach it again in a few years.

Mom: Do you know what punctuation is?
Tovi: Yes, I know what it is!
Mom: What is it?
Tovi: It's when you have a ballon, like a blimp, and there's a hold in it, and the air comes out.

I couldn't figure out what Tovi meant until Arianna came in and said "Do you mean a 'puncture'?"

Looks like it's time for a short lesson in periods, commas, questions marks, and exclamation points.

You can order my book through Amazon. Just click on the link below!

From the Mouths of Babes ... and Teenagers

On Being Pregnant

I only realized today that I have never written about pregnancy. Probably because in the past, whenever I was pregnant, I was also trying to keep up with a toddler. And truthfully, I've never given much thought to pregnancy. I just accepted it "as is". Even now, if someone asks me how I'm feeling (6 months pregnant at this point), I usually just say with a smile, "Like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my stomach."

But my emotions are much more complex than that. It's a "bowling ball" that is depending on me for life. And so far, this baby is pretty mellow, so every other night I wake up in a panic, wondering if she is still alive because I hadn't notice movement since the afternoon.

And though I KNOW that I'm not "fat", I can't help but be self-conscious about how this "bowling ball" makes me look. Clothes don't fit like they used to. People say I look "glowing" and "beautiful", but most of the time, I don't feel like that. I'm tired. My legs and ankles ache. If I don't wear compression tights, the veins on my legs bulge (I apologize in advance for the gross imagery) like I have slugs and worms living under my skin.

Simply put, I don't feel like myself.

But then again, that's because I am NOT myself. I am, in fact, two people right now.

And maybe that's the whole point. These nine months before the baby is born puts me in a place of discomfort and inconvenience–to say the least–which forces me to be less self-centered. It's not all about me. Just as it will not be all about me when this child is born. Can I put myself aside during these months, before this tiny human arrives and I have to put myself aside even more? And for my husband–this is training time to care for me more as I go through nausea and pain and self-doubt. He is my encouragement, now and for the months and years ahead.

So rather than treating these months of pregnancy as a waiting period, impatiently whining and griping while the baby is "just growing", I can learn to enjoy this time as a period where God is growing ME. 

Surprises From God

I'll cut to the chase. We're expecting Baby #9 in October.

When I had my first prenatal appointment, the doctor asked what is now a routine question, "Was this a planned pregnancy?"

I said, "No, not exactly."

"And you plan to keep this baby?"

"Yes," I answered, when what I really wanted to say was, "HECK YES!" (pardon my language)

Before the baby was bigger than a grape, before we found out if the baby is a boy or a girl (it's a girl!), before I ever saw her wiggling on the ultrasound, I cared for this human.

My husband and I were not expecting another child. After all, I'm 44 years-old. My youngest is now 5. I had become really good at tracking my ovulation cycle, and then...

God surprised us.

And this all happened RIGHT BEFORE the opening of my musical. Not the best timing.

And yet, it was my musical that helped me wrap my head (and heart) around this surprise.

I didn't expect to get pregnant, just as I didn't expect to write a musical. And if I saw Five Children and It as a gift from God, entrusted to me to bring to fruition and share with the world, how much more can this child be a gift?! God surprised me with 3+ years of working on a musical, and if I said "No" to him at the start, I would have never experienced the joy that the musical brought me. And that is how I see this child. There will be years of work involved, but the joys will outshine the work.

Children, ALL children, are a gift. It sounds clichéd, but I must say it, because I hear parents, Christians and non-Christians alike, complain about their children. Some people (Christians and non-Christians alike) think I'm crazy to have nine children. They see children as a chore and an inconvenience. I admit that in my younger years, I would have been whining to God at this point, "How am I going to handle another one? When will I have time to do the things I want to do?" 

But children are people, and we need to fight the urge to think of the people in our lives as "inconveniences." Let us love as God loves us; we are God's children, and we are NEVER an inconvenience to Him. 

A Musical is Born! -Part 17- The End?

The cast recordings are not yet done. We spent 2 days–nearly 8 hours–in the studio getting every cast member on the recording. Now it's time to edit, balance, fix, and maybe add some instruments (everything was sung to piano only.)

And I still need to update the script, librettos, and all scores to reflect the changes we made in perfecting the show. I want to have the new scripts, scores, and recordings ready for another theater group. I would love for Five Children and It to live on on other stages. And I would love to see the other versions of it!

As I reflect back on the whole process, I am still in awe. I feel like the show was handed to me... I opened my hand to receive it, and there it was. Not that I didn't spend hours at the piano searching for the perfect "magic" sound, or restless nights working out a stubborn lyric in my mind, but I feel like the pieces came together so effortlessly. I can't really tell you how it happened! God gave me a mind that can solve musical/theatrical puzzles! Where I was doubting myself months ago (constantly asking myself, "Is this good? Will people like it?") now I know that I have a good sense of balance, pacing, and musical lines. Something I didn't know about myself a year ago! (which goes to show that life doesn't stop when you have kids or when you turn 40! There are always opportunities to learn and try something new. I say, go through those doors, especially when God is inviting you to do so!)

And I am still in awe of the community that came around me. This musical was like my heart on my sleeve. There was a bit of me in every character. All the "Lessons Learned" were lessons I had learned in my life, and hope that my children will learn. That was what I wanted to give the world–beautiful, Godly life lessons presented in a format that made it easier to digest. "A spoonful of sugar," as Mary Poppins would sing. I really wanted the show to be more than just entertaining. And everyone, from my artistic team members to the actors to the parents who worked behind the scenes, saw that too, and treated the musical like my newborn baby. I cannot thank them enough.

So what's next, besides all the work I still have cut out for me? Well, I have the first drafts of a script and songs for a new musical. I'm a little nervous about this one, because it's very different from Five Children and It, but I'm also so excited about. So back to step one for me! Writing, rewriting, a read-through, rewriting again... and maybe in a year or two you'll hear about the birth of another musical!

A Musical is Born -Part 16- The Shows!

Opening night was two weeks ago, and I am just now starting to feel normal. Our five shows were just THAT amazing, THAT emotional, and THAT exhausting! After spending 5+ hours at the theater every day for tech week, then spending 5+ hours at the theater every day for shows (including a back-to-back show on Saturday), plus the hour-long round-trip drive every day, I was done. But if I could have kept going at that pace, I certainly would have. It was just THAT magical.

Our tech week went as smoothly as it could have. After moving into the theater on Saturday and doing a rehearsal on the stage for the first time, we started adding elements.

On Sunday, we did a cue-to-cue rehearsal. This means adding any lighting cues, sound effect cues, or cues for the backstage crew. We worked out how exactly we wanted the show to start– do actors enter in darkness and we turn on the lights as the music begins? Or do we start with the lights and music and have actors enter? We went with the latter. This rehearsal can mean a lot of stop-and-go for the actors, because it's the stage manager's and director's first chance to work on timing and problem-solving. A show involves a LOT more than just the people on the stage!!

On Monday, we added costumes. This was wonderful because our Psammead (Sand Fairy) really got a chance to get into character with his whiskers, round belly, and furry feet. All other actors felt like they were from the time period. It was also their chance to practice dancing and moving in skirts and high heels. And it was also the time to practice any change of costumes required! For Act 2, we needed almost everyone in a soldier outfit, which they needed to get out of immediately after the scene. Some of these "quick changes" were not quite quick enough on the first day; that's why we give ourselves a few days to fine tune everything that needs to happen backstage!

On Tuesday, we added makeup. We require our actors to put on their own makeup before they arrive at the theater. Those needing special help (like when we did Beauty and the Beast in the fall) get help from our theater moms. Also, special mustaches, wigs, eyebrows, etc. are added at the theater. And we use lots of hairspray!! Any flyaway hairs can create a halo effect around an actor's head.

And throughout the week, we kept perfecting the show. The sound tech and I tried different configurations for the band so that we would have the best blend in the house. KW (the director) reblocked a scene that looked crowded on the stage. I threw out an unnecessary line (at the end of Scene 1) and changed an ambiguous lyric. Anything that we were not completely happy with, we found a way to make it better. And I saw the actors do the same! They were trying new ways to move in character and new ways to say their lines. I watched as they became more and more their characters with every run-through!

Wednesday was our dress rehearsal. Everything was in place, except for two things: 1) an actor sprained her ankle earlier in tech week and was slowly recovering, but we weren't sure if she would need crutches on stage; 2) illness had been plaguing us (no pun intended) on and off this winter, and two actors were sick for the dress rehearsal. We had two actors fill in with scripts in hand, and we were still able to go through the whole rehearsal. Everyone prayed that we would have a fully-healthy cast for opening night.

I was surprising relaxed on opening night. At this point, my job was mostly done. All I had to do was warm up the singers, lead them in a worship song, then conduct the band. The rest was up to the performers. I was so confident in our actors that I didn't worry about them at all. And we had ALL healthy actors that night! I KNEW that the show was going to be splendid. And I also knew that in the world of live theater, if something does go wrong, you just recover quickly.

And opening night was FANTASTIC! A few tiny things might have not gone as rehearsed, but I didn't even notice them! When I was conducting, I felt the music carry me away. When I wasn’t, I sat back and enjoyed every moment of the story. The audience laughed and cried and clapped and cheered. Many of them were not familiar with the story of Five Children and It, and they simply fell in love with the Psammead. The second, third, and fourth shows were the same. Every night, everyone gave their all. By Sunday's matinee, we had a sold out show!

I am so proud of my actors, and also proud AND grateful for everyone behind the scenes who made this show possible: sound tech, makeup and hair, costumes, sets, band, publicity, the directors and stage managers and everyone backstage. Without everyone's help, Five Children and It would still simply be words on a page. This two-hour production took an entire village and months of preparation. 

And like I said, I would do it all again.

But my job is not done yet. I will revise the script and scores to reflect the changes we've made in the show since November. And this weekend, we are recording an ORIGINAL CAST RECORDING!!!

A Musical is Born! -Part 15- The Set

It's a busy week, so this will be my final post before OPENING NIGHT!

Last Saturday, we moved into the Village Theatre in the town of Danville. This theater is not very large; it has two small dressing rooms and almost no backstage. For our larger cast, we put actors (and costumes) in the dressing rooms and spill out into the hall. Large props that cannot fit backstage must sit on a covered porch right aside. The great thing about this small theater is that there is no bad seat in the house. Every audience member has a wonderful view of the stage.

And this is what they will be seeing:

The lower part of the stage in the front is the "apron". We added those platforms to extend the stage and give our actors more room to move. There are steps leading up to it. We also added a platform to the left for the sandpit, where the sand fairy will live. And you can see that there is no "pit" for the band, so we fit the five-piece band to the right of the stage.

As far as sets go, this is pretty simple. There are some doors and fences that come off and on, but not much else. We could have made it more elaborate (which would have been hard in such a small space, but not impossible), but KW wanted to do this show in a more "poor theater" style. "Poor theater" is when everything is stripped away except the stage, the actors, the audience, and the pure essentials. The audience must use their imagination more because there is no "Disney theater magic" happening. Even our scenes that involve magic will have no fog machine, no flashing lights, and no explosions. The audience will see everything that happens, and feel like they are a part of the magic!

So we are eagerly counting down the days. It has been refreshing to get to rehearse on the stage. The past two days (part of what we call Tech Week) were all about problem solving. 

"How do we actually get that bike on and off stage?" 

"What should the lights be doing at this moment?" 

"How do we time that sound effect so it matches the action on stage?"

"Why can't I hear that actor when he's onstage, but I can hear everything he's saying backstage?!" 

I'm just kidding about that last one, though we did have some issues with mics.

Tonight, we put mics AND costumes on the actors, which really makes the show come to life! But with costumes means timing costume changes and making sure everyone is wearing what they should be at the right time!

Tomorrow night, we add make-up, which is the final element.

Then on Wednesday, it's our dress rehearsal, when we run the show from start to finish as if it was the real deal.

This is it! We are on the last few miles of this marathon!!

A Musical is Born! -Part 14- The Happy Accident

We are on week 10 of rehearsals.

I don't have much to report today. We continue with run-throughs, fixing little things here and there. MZ (the choreographer) rehearsed parts of the dances that didn't look unified. I rehearsed all the ensemble songs and was as nit-picky as I could be about vowels, cut-offs, and breathing.

I can see that the cast felt tired today. At this point, we all feel comfortable enough with the show to relax a bit, but we are lacking the excitement of the first few weeks. Doing run-throughs over and over again helps us refine, but it also means a lot of sitting around for most of the actors–times of quiet concentration, followed by a need for a sudden burst of energy.

It's all wonderful training for these young actors. These are the practices and scrimmages that will help us win the championship. And I am certain that these actors WILL win the championship! With every run-through, I see them grow more confident and more clear about their characters. Their stamina is growing during these long rehearsals (the show will be about 2 hours long). And once we are in the theater and the stage (!), the adrenaline will flow through us and it will not be difficult to find our energy again. Everything will come together beautifully!

So what is this "happy accident", you want to know?

All throughout, I've been making changes here and there–adding music where music was needed, removing music where there was too much, changing a few lines to better match the action that is happening in the scene. For the most part, my job at the rehearsals is to just watch, play the piano at the right times, and take notes on what can be improved upon. At one rehearsal last week, one of the actors missed singing a snippet of a song, and the scene continued until she remembered to sing the song. This happened right when the sand fairy made his exit. The moment was so tender (it made me tear up), that I didn't even realize until later that this was different from what I had written. When this hit me, I grabbed a script, saw that it was indeed an easy change (the lines flowed effortlessly without the song there) and the scene was indeed much better by putting the song at the end! How happy I was that this mistake had been made during rehearsal!

So, you can see how this musical is a living, growing thing. And if you come and see the show, watch for this moment in Act 2, Scene 4!

As I mentioned earlier, we will soon be at the theater. Next Friday, we will hold a regular rehearsal. Then on Saturday, we load-in at the theater! This means the sets will get moved in (with the help of a rental truck), all costumes and props will need to find a home backstage, the band will set-up in the "pit", and for the first time, the actors get a real feel for what it's like to been the sage with the lights and limited space. We have less than two weeks until opening night! It's so exciting!

A Musical is Born! -Part 13- The Costumes

Three weeks to the show, and we are chipping away at our to-do list: band, choreography, blocking, costumes, props, sets.

The props are still being rounded up, but we did finish choreography for the finale today (yay!), the sets are done (though I haven't seen them yet), and I saw the actors in costume on Friday!

First, I have to give credit to our costume moms. CYT does not hire "professionals" to build or paint our sets or make our costumes. These are all done by our parent volunteers. Our parents spend endless hours lovingly working to bring the vision to life–and they always do an amazing job! When I first started with CYT, I was put on the costume committee, so I have a special place in my heart for these moms who are at our rehearsals hemming, sewing, fixing, and fitting to make sure ALL our actors look perfect on stage.

Because Five Children and It takes place in 1907 in England, we have racks of long skirts and blouses for the women, shirt dresses and pinafores for the girls, knickers for the boys, and slacks, shirts, and vests for the men. Boxes hold bowlers, newsboy caps and floral hats. Brown and black leather shoes and boots line the walls, each labeled with masking tape on the inside of the shoe.

What is unique about the clothes for this show is the color–or the lack of colors. KW wanted the color palette to be like that of the ocean and beach; everything is in shades of brown, gray, blue, or green. Why? Because (and this is brilliant!), when the "magic" happens on stage, jeweled tones will appear on stage and brighten up the scene (which makes this idea brilliant both literally and figuratively!) The actors will then come out wearing a brightly colored hat, or sash, or tie, or skirt. This gives the audience a visual that something is different in the town, though the actors themselves look the same.

Now normally, we would do something called a "costume parade." All actors get into costume and "parade" in front of the director and costume director in small groups. This way, the directors can see not only how individual costumes fit, but also if they go well with other costumes in the show. A family should look like they go together. People of a certain working group or class should look similar. Then the directors make notes and give the costumers time to shorten, lengthen, or change any items.

For this show, we didn't have time to do a proper "costume parade," so we did a virtual one. Actors were photographed both by themselves and in groups for the director to review later. 

This weekend, we also added a new element to our rehearsals, what we call "rehearsal clothes." This means that girls need to bring (or wear) a skirt to rehearsal, boys need slacks rather than shorts or jeans. Actors should also wear shoes similar to their characters' shoes. This is so that the actors get used to moving in clothes similar to what they will be wearing on stage. 

You might have noticed that I did not mention one particular costume at all. The Psammead's costume was not ready, because it is being hand-made (one can't just go and buy a Psammead outfit on Amazon!) I saw the beginnings of it, and it was delightful. But I want it to be a surprise, so that is all I am going to say about that...

A Musical is Born! -Part 12- The Band

Today, I will introduce the band! Since I'm not mentioning names, I'll just talk a little about the band members:

-the drummer is my oldest son! This is the fifth show that he has drummed for CYT! In many ways, this show is not the most exciting for a drummer, so I told him he can elaborate sometimes. He helps out on the tambourine and triangle when the percussionist is already playing something else. I'm very proud to be doing a show with him!

-the percussionist is the oldest son of a fellow CYT teacher. He is a high schooler, but he has experience playing in orchestras. This will be his first time performing in a "band" on a midi keyboard. (so instead of playing on a real marimba, he's playing on a piano keyboard.)

-the violinist is my other high schooler. She has already played with CYT twice and is loving it.

-the pianist is a friend of mine and a fellow piano teacher. I'm so glad she agreed to play, despite her busy teaching schedule! This is a first for her!

-the bassist is a professional who plays for musicals all over the Bay Area. He played for CYT back when we performed The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Godspell. I reached out to him on a whim, and he happened to be free the weekend of the show!  He is in the middle of playing for Assassins right now, and will join us as soon as that show closes.

And that's the band! 

So far, we've had three weekend rehearsals, and today was our sitzprobe.

You're probably wondering, "What a weird word! What on earth is a sitzprobe?!"

The word 'sitzprobe' comes from the German for 'sitting rehearsal'. Plainly put, it is when the cast and band meet for the first time. The singers and dancers get to hear what the music will really sound like, and the band gets to hear what will be happening on stage. For us, it is the only time the actors will see the band until we are in the theater.

I've only been to a few sitzprobes, and always it had been: band is set up to play, singers come up to a mic or on stage, sing the song, sit down. But I asked another vocal director what the "rules of a sitzprobe" were, and he said that there were none! Some groups like to go through the show in order, some don't. Some will dance, and some won't. I can do whatever is most beneficial on that day!

So this is what we did:

1) Did a regular rehearsal from 8:30-12 with the entire cast and just me on the piano. We breaked for an hour lunch.

2) Cleared the room of tables and chairs. Determined the approximate size of the stage, and which way the audience would be. Then I set up the band as it would be at the theater, on stage left. (Which means if you are standing on stage looking our at the seats, the band is on the left.)

3) At 1pm, I warmed up the cast. Then we started with the overture, which didn't have singing, but had movement. The actors danced through the overture.

4) Then we went through the show in order, skipping only the music that didn't involve moment, lines, or singing (mostly the scene change music.) On the big dance numbers, we went ahead and danced and sang. On the smaller solos and duets, the singers stood by me and just sang. We also rehearsed one short scene that involved multiple wishes happening (which always has accompanying music) so the band can get a feel for how everything will click together.

5) At the end, the band played the 'bows' music for the cast. We finished around 2:45.

There were only a few times when we needed to go back and rehearse a part of the song again! We still have some things to fix, but part of it was my getting used to being the conductor, not the pianist. This is a first for me! 

It has been a very full day. I have some work to do... possibly a little bit more music to write, but maybe that can wait until tomorrow...

A Musical is Born! -Part 11- The Struggle-Through

I met with 4/5 of the band today and so I was all prepared to write about them, but I will need to write about them next week, because today I had an unexpected surprise!

An "unexpected surprise"? Isn't that redundant, you ask?

That was how BIG of a surprise it was!

This morning, I had my printed schedule for rehearsal and I was all set for working with small groups. Then at 9:30am, KW (the director) said, "Let's do this. Let's do a run-through."

She saw the look on my face and immediately asked, "You don't think they're ready?"

I was thinking of all the songs that the actors needed to review, but I myself was eager to start seeing the pieces of this show put together.

So we did it.

We did what we call a "struggle-through," because a first run-through is always more of a struggle than a smooth, problem-free run.

And yes, our struggle-through was far from perfect, but it was also hardly a struggle. It had so many wonderful moments! There were songs that sounded great, scenes that were touching, dances that made us smile. The most difficult part for everyone were the transitions, because actors needed to figure out where they needed to be for the next scene and how to get there. We stopped many times to fix small things, and just to laugh at our mistakes, because we were all "struggling" together.

By the end of our rehearsal time, we had made it through the WHOLE show. For the first time! This was a big feat!! All the work we have done in the last six weeks finally looks like a SHOW! I am so impressed with all the memorization of lines and dances the actors have done. I found myself sucked into the story and having to remind myself to play the piano. And I admit, I teared up a couple of times. I may be a fountain on opening night!

I left rehearsal walking on air and excited for next week's step... refining!

A Musical is Born! -Part 10- The Playbill

"Playbill" is the fancy word for a poster for a show. Basically, when you walk by the movie theater and see the posters for the movies featured at that theater, you are looking at playbills. They give you information about the actors, writers, times and dates. Some playbills are iconic; when we think of Gone with the Wind, we instantly see in our minds' eye Clark Gable with Vivien Leigh in his arms, in front of a background of flames. Playbills give information about the show, but also set the tone for what to expect. Will this show be funny? Serious? Light-hearted? Dark? Is it a western? A mystery? A romance? A tragedy?

Usually, for a community theater group, not much goes into designing the playbills for our shows. The theater company provides us with the images, sometimes even telling us what colors are allowed on the poster, and tell us what text we are required to use and how big the names need to be. But now... 

we have a show that has NO images, NO requirements, NO playbill whatsoever! We are the designers of the very first Five Children and It musical playbill ever!

My husband, being a graphic designer once-upon-a-time, took the reigns on this. We knew we wanted color, magic, fanciful things. We also knew that many people were not familiar with the original story; it is considered a classic, but it is old and British and so not very well-known. So my husband chose images to represent elements in the story: the country cottage, the sandpit, the various wishes. And the only hint of the mysterious sand-fairy is the "V" in the logo. We also needed to put the time and place and ticket info (of course), but more information about the origin of this new show. Hence, the words "based on the novel by" and "a new musical by." His final poster is eye-catching and fun! And next weekend, our CYT actors will put these posters up all over our valley's downtowns!