Another's Woe

A friend read one of my stories yesterday and told me that it made him tear up. I've had several people tell me that one of my stories has made him or her cry. Sometimes, I still wish I was 'the funny one' or 'the witty one', but more and more, I'm seeing why God gave me my 'gift of sadness'.

More than anything, pain is universal. And reading about another's pain draws us to them; somehow, by sharing in another's suffering, we feel bound to him or her. And sometimes, reading about pain that reminds us of ourselves helps us heal.

For Christians, this idea of being united by pain goes even deeper. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 

Jesus knows suffering. Jesus knows comfort. He offers us comfort, so that we can offer comfort to others.

(By the way, if you've never seen the movie 'The Way', I highly recommend it. It has a rating of PG-13 for drug use, smoking, thematic elements, and some language, but the movie is not raunchy. It is about a father's pain, which leads to a journey, which leads friendship, which leads to faith and healing.) 

To close for today, here is a beautiful poem by William Blake, titled "On Another's Sorrow".

Can I see another's woe,

And not be in sorrow too?

Can I see another's grief,

And no seek for kind relief?

Can I see a falling tear,

And not feel my sorrow's share?

Can a father see his child

Weep, nor be with sorrow filled?

Can a mother sit and hear

An infant groan, an infant fear?

No, no! never can it be!

Never, never can it be!

And can He who smiles on all

Hear the wren with sorrows small,

Hear the small bird's grief and care,

Hear the woes that infants bear --

And not sit beside the next,

Pouring pity in their breast,

And not sit the cradle near,

Weeping tear on infant's tear?

And not sit both night and day,

Wiping all our tears away?

Oh no! never can it be!

Never, never can it be!

He doth give his joy to all:

He becomes an infant small,

He becomes a man of woe,

He doth feel the sorrow too.

Think not thou canst sigh a sigh,

And thy Maker is not by:

Think not thou canst weep a tear,

And thy Maker is not near.

Oh He gives to us his joy,

That our grief He may destroy:

Till our grief is fled and gone

He doth sit by us and moan.

Families (part 2)

When we were young parents, just expecting our first child, my husband and I would think about the new future ahead of us. We'd try to picture how life would be, what our little baby would be like, and we would  joke about our child's future career.

"But what if he turns out to be a great athlete?!"
"What if he wants to be a doctor or lawyer?!"
"What if he's good at math and science?!"

We were afraid that we'd have a hard time relating to our child if he was too different from us, and being more of the artistic-types, we naturally hoped our child would be a musician, an artist, or a teacher.

But of course, we love our first-born, as we love all our children, with the easy, natural first love, and the more difficult, cultivated, unconditional love. We face the reality that our children will not be exact copies of us, and we learn to love them for who they truly are. Already, each child is showing personal preferences and interests. My oldest daughter's taste in clothes is completely different from mine. And my youngest son will most likely grow up to pursue extreme sports, and all I will be able to do is crochet my nervous energy away and pray for the best.

But what I love most is how my family reflects God's family, on a smaller scale. In God's family, there are many personalities, many talents, and many interests. But God still commands us to be united. He expects us to love our brother and sister in Christ even if he or she is not a football fanatic or a Sunday School teacher. Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (NIV)

See the parallel in the verse? We are relational beings, because God is a relational being, and He created us in His image. Our relationship with God reflects our relationship with others, and vice versa. 

Similarly, marriage and family (both parent/child relationships and sibling relationships) are smaller versions of God's two great commandments. Jesus replied, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Matthew 22:37-39, NIV) Marriage reflects a person's relationship with God (it's one-on-one, and entirely the person's choice to be in the relationship) and family reflects a person's relationship with his/her neighbor. If we can love greatly in our marriages and our families, we will naturally love greatly outside of that. 

I know that not everyone reading this is a parent, a spouse, or a sibling, but EVERYONE is at least a child. Start seeing the family in your life as opportunities to practice 'loving your neighbor'. And if you are a parent, teach your children to treat their siblings with the greatest respect and kindness, and they will know how to treat others with the same respect and kindness.

And so those are more of my thoughts on family. It took me a while to think through them and get it down in words. If you have any thoughts to share, please do!

Resources for Parents

As a teacher, writer, and all-over 'artistic'-type person, I am often critical of Christian parenting resources that are designed to explain and illustrate Christian living to children. Sometimes, it's the writing that is not clear, is too frou-frou (avoiding the tough stuff), or are just outright wrong. (We saw a board book once that showed a little girl going to church, and ended with something like "Say good-bye to God until next Sunday!" We threw that book away.) Sometimes, it's the art work or animation that is shoddy, and gets in the way of an otherwise good message.

So when I find good books and videos, I like to share them with other parents, who may also be in search of tools to help them in their parenting.

First up, VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer is at it again, this time with puppets and Bible history! His new video series, called 'What's in the Bible?', has silly characters, funny songs, and facts that even most parents don't know! And what I appreciate the most about them is that Mr. Vischer doesn't skirt around the harder questions. To learn more about the DVDs (and accompanying Sunday School curriculum), go to www.whatsinthebible.com. You can also check out his other projects on www.jellytelly.com.

Next we have New City Catechism, which consists of 52 questions for 52 weeks, divided into three parts (God, Son, Spirit). The website is non-denominational, but involve pastors and authors you may recognize, like John Piper, Timothy Keller, and Joshua Harris. Each question has a verse, commentary, short video, and prayer to help you teach the fundamentals of Christianity to your children.

And last week, I discovered at my library two wonderful picture books by Tomie dePaola (author and illustrator of 'Strega Nona'). 'The Parables of Jesus' and 'The Miracles of Jesus' takes text straight from the Bible and combines it with Mr. DePaola's beautiful illustrations.

Also, if you have not already read my other posts on good books, I recommend the 'Jesus Storybook Bible' by Sally Lloyd-Jones and the 'Tales of the Kingdom' series (three books) by David and Karen Mains. Below are the links to these posts, along with my two booklists and a link to the Chapel Library, a website of older writings by Christian authors, free and available for reading and sharing.

About 'the Jesus Storybook Bible'

About 'the Tales of the Kingdom'

Book List for Girls

Book List for Boys

Chapel Library

Happy reading!!

Miracles Overlooked

I was researching dandelion flowers for a story when I found this little video. At first, the videography didn't captured me (the music and aphids were distracting) but I found myself watching the video several times, noticing new details with each viewing. And this is what I want to share with you: during the part when the flower is closed, and it seems to be doing the least, there is an actual miracle taking place. The petals die, and the stamens and ovaries turn into seeds and white fluff... can you even picture it? How does that happen?! 

I've tended a garden, I've raised butterflies and ladybugs, and I've given birth to five babies, but I can never, EVER get over how amazing God's creations are. Anyone who calls this 'chance' is taking much for granted. And anyway you look at it, this dandelion is a miracle.

We truly are surrounded by miracles.

Parents and Pharisees

Last night, I was chatting with my friend Jocelyn, a fellow mom of the Asian persuasion, about the stresses of raising children in a rather affluent area. Here are some of the things she has heard:

- All children should start reading at the age of two, and if they aren't reading by the time they are three, there's something wrong.

- Now is the time to put your boys in a team sport, if they are to 'fit in' in junior high.

- After school, my child has tutoring, then gymnastics, then violin lessons.

You would think that these parents are training their kids for the Olympics! And all Jocelyn wants is to raise three healthy and kind boys who can get through a day without fighting with his brothers! 

When has the simple goal of raising children been shrouded by such competition and so many expectations? The pressure is on to think not only about health and diet, but also art lessons, music lessons, sports, SAT-exam-prep classes, scholarships, Eagle Scouts, and Ivy League schools! When does the child have time to foster imagination and family relationships?

I feel like parents today are doing to their calling what Pharisees did years ago to the Sabbath. During Jesus's time, the Pharisees devised hundreds of strict rules in their effort to keep the Sabbath holy. But in doing so, they spent their time focusing on how many steps they were walking, or how much they were lifting, instead of focusing on God. Worse than that, they walked around on the Sabbath pointing their fingers at people who were breaking their rules! (see Matthew 12:1-13)

And don't think that I, as a homeschooling parent, is sitting on my high horse saying all this! I too am guilty of comparing my children to others, and I have to constantly remind myself not to look at other homeschoolers and feel the need to compete. And if you ever talk to homeschooling parents, you will find that they are just as prone to overscheduling and worrying, if not more so, because the child's education relies mostly on them. Homeschooling parents tend to want to sign their children up for every class. And they worry that in all their efforts, they will still somehow manage to neglect a crucial element of their child's upbringing.

For all parents out there, this is a gentle reminder to think about what is truly most important in your child's life. Rest, family time, and a quiet blossoming are more important than 4.o GPAs and sports scholarships. Don't be so focused on doing-all-the-right-things and forget to focus on your child! And also, remember your goal is not trying to shape your child into the person you think he/she should be, but the person God has designed him/her to be. And if your child achieves that, there is no greater success in life!

A Chilly Experience

We just had our heater fixed. In a matter of minutes, the temperature in our house went from 54 degrees (Farenheit) to 64 degrees. It felt amazing, after three days of being either bundled up or chilled to the bone.

And (as always) I observed a few things.

1) When you're already cold, putting on more clothes can't warm you.

2) Food helps your body generate heat.

3) I like living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I especially like the frequent sunshine. And I like warm baths.

After living in a 50-degree house for three days, I still can't imagine what it would be like to be cold, hungry, and homeless, because I had the luxury of food, shelter, and baths. A friend told me that he was talking to a homeless man the other day, and the man could not stop shaking, though he wore several coats and mittens. Even here, where winters are mild, people are not meant to be outside when the temperature drops below 50.

I think I will dig up my extra yarn and crochet a few hats for the homeless. I know it's not much, but maybe a hat, a warm cup of coffee, and a good lunch will make a difference for someone this winter.

Families (part 1)

Do you ever wonder why God created families? He could have designed people to be born from cabbages (shows you what era I grew up in), fully grown and ready to go. He could have designed people to be like mice, born in large litters and quick to be on their own. Or He could have designed people to be more like turtles, left by the mother to defend for themselves. But He very intentionally created people to grow inside their mother, to be born small and weak, and to need many years of nurturing from a father and a mother.

As I observe my children's daily interactions with each other, their father, and myself, I can't help but think about God's idea of 'family'. And the more I dig into the topic, the more I find! I feel I could write a whole book about it, if I had the time and space to delve into a project of that size.

But today, I will leave you with just this thought: God gave us children to remind adults to laugh and be joyful. I'm so thankful He gave me five children to keep me laughing!

Screwtape Comes A-Calling

And so it begins. Three days into the New Year and my resoluteness was already put to the test.

The past few months, I've been going through my stuff, giving away redundancy and unnecessities, fighting the good fight against the quick and easy sin of materialism. My resolution this year is to sacrifice by not buying new clothes just because I want new clothes.

Then yesterday, I was at the thrift store, looking for used plates, when I saw, almost hidden under a bunch of shoes, a pair of light brown Uggs.

I'm not usually into name brands, but I know that $8 for a pair of fuzzy boots is a good price. And I know that $8 for a pair of quality, warm, Australian boots is a GREAT price.

So I bought them, as a gift to my sister-in-law, I told myself, because her old pair had worn through and been recycled into a hamster's snuggly cave. We drove straight from the store to her house, knocked on her door, and... no answer.

And so we went home, and I brought the boots into the house, then, out of curiosity, put them on. I admired myself in the mirror, wore the boots around the house as I did my chores, and I thought, "These are nice boots! I could use a newer pair. They're not exactly like my old pair. And they're Uggs!" And the best part was, my sister-in-law didn't even know the boots existed!

Where did these thoughts come from?!??! (don't answer that, it's a rhetorical question) All of a sudden, I felt like a character in The Screwtape Letters (by C.S. Lewis). The enemy had snuck past my blockades and attacked me at my weakest point! I know I'm sounding overly dramatic but the battle inside me was very real. Back and forth... back and forth... I took the boots off, then put them on again, then put them aside, just to go back and look at them again.

Long story short, I, not Screwtape, was the victor in the end. I told myself that I didn't need the boots, end of argument. A few minute later, the phone rang, and it was my sister-in-law, and I told her about my find, and that the boots were hers to keep. She kindly tried to convince me to keep them for myself, but I refused because she needed them more than me.

Yes, the battle was over. Love for my sister-in-law won out. It's a small step, but a step in the right direction.

And whenever I see her wear those boots, I will not envy her. Instead, I will remember that the battle is done, but the war continues. Screwtape will come a-calling again, I know.