While I'm on the subject of motherhood, identity, and inspiring words from other writers, here's a topic that is rarely broached.
In responding to feminism, evangelicals should not be reacting with the, "Not only is staying at home okay, it's also the most challenging and valuable job on the planet!"
These are the words of Rebecca VanDoodewaard, from the blog The Christian Pundit that she co-writes with her husband.
The subject of her article, Stay-at-home martyr?, is that sometimes stay-at-home moms think of their calling as an obligation and a sacrifice, rather than a blessing and a joy. It is true that being a mom is important and difficult, but, as Rebecca writes, "...it is not the most important job in the world."
This article has made me think about my own writing. Have I come across as being sympathetic, or fishing for sympathy? When I try to convey pride in what I do, do I instead sound proud and haughty, like those who are not mothers are not good enough?
If I do, I apologize. That was never my intention. I have written before that mothering is the hardest job I've ever done, but I do mean that in a very literal sense, that it's the hardest job I've ever done, because I've had a rather limited number of experiences in my short life. I've never been a brain surgeon, a inner-city teacher, or a soldier.
But on those days when I would like a few minutes of quiet time out of the house, or on the nights when I had to turn down an invitation because I couldn't find a babysitter, I admit that the self-pity comes easily. I want some attention, or some compensation, or at least an 'Employee of the Week' award for all I do!
While I know that is the wrong attitude to have, I don't always know how to correct it. Rebecca's Biblical wisdom both humbled and encouraged me:
When we realize that by grace we are doing good work in thankful obedience, we can be joyful, instead of comparing our work to everyone else's, wanting to be lauded as doing the hardest, most important things. Why do we care how difficult and important our job is? As long as we know that we are personally obeying God's command to us (Titus 2:5), whatever that looks like in our stage and position in life, we should be content. Obedience is better, we're told, than sacrifice (1 Sam. 15:22), and God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7).
But on those days when I would like a few minutes of quiet time out of the house, or on the nights when I had to turn down an invitation because I couldn't find a babysitter, I admit that the self-pity comes easily. I want some attention, or some compensation, or at least an 'Employee of the Week' award for all I do!
While I know that is the wrong attitude to have, I don't always know how to correct it. Rebecca's Biblical wisdom both humbled and encouraged me:
When we realize that by grace we are doing good work in thankful obedience, we can be joyful, instead of comparing our work to everyone else's, wanting to be lauded as doing the hardest, most important things. Why do we care how difficult and important our job is? As long as we know that we are personally obeying God's command to us (Titus 2:5), whatever that looks like in our stage and position in life, we should be content. Obedience is better, we're told, than sacrifice (1 Sam. 15:22), and God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7).
(There's more! Again, I'll let you read the full article for yourself, because she says it so much better than I can!)
What I love about the above passage is that it is not only describing mothers, but anyone who considers him/herself a follower of Christ, whether he/she is fifteen or seventy-nine, single or married, working or unemployed! Serving God is not about climbing a ladder, trying to outdo the person next to us, but oftentimes, whether consciously or subconsciously, we view it that way. Or we spend our time pining for 'what-used-to-be', or envying those who seem to have it better. Simply said, if we seek God's will and live in obedience to that will, we can be content, knowing that we are doing EXACTLY what God wants us to be doing. Anytime we start focusing on the negative, or comparing our lives to others', we lose sight of the joy and very reason why God put us where we are.
If you are grumpy and discontent, and you don't know why God has put you where you are, ask Him! If you are tired and joyless, "weary of doing good" (Galatians 6:9), I want to encourage you with this. It is one of my favorite Bible passages:
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)
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