Looking Forward, Looking Back

(I'm borrowing the title from an 'Over the Rhine' song. 'Over the Rhine' is my favorite husband and wife band... beautiful music.) 

It's that time of year again... time to pack up for camping with our church family! This is our fourth time joining our church at Pinecrest Lake, and it has become an annual trip that our whole family looks forward to.  The children run around with friends, we take in God's beautiful creation, and of course, I bring a batch of home-made marshmallows for roasting and sharing! But my favorite thing to do is to find a place to sit where the baby can play safely, then wait to see who God brings my way. Spending an entire weekend with the church body is the best way to connect and reconnect with people!

I remember packing for camp this time last year, and I'm amazed at the changes that have occurred since then. Last June, my husband was a teacher, and had no plans to change his career. We were expecting a full summer of fun, with my husband returning to the school in the fall, but little did we know... 

There were signs of change in the air. Out of the blue, our church offered my husband a position as pastor of families and children. But my husband didn't feel like it was time yet to leave the school, despite the stressful environment. "Let's try another year there," we told ourselves, "and we'll see what happens."

Then we left for camp, where I have a conversation with a friend about motherhood, marriage, and life in general. That was when I made a comment that surprised even me: I feel like I'm waiting for something big to happen, like I've outgrown my space. Actually, we were going through my set of Soularium Cards, and I was talking about a photo showing a full-grown man sitting, scrunched like a sack of potatoes, in a small school locker. That was what I felt like. And I didn't know why.

When we came home from camp, we still couldn't settle down to enjoy our summer vacation. My husband had yet to sign a contract for the new school year, and there were still many questions in our mind. June ended, July began, and my husband got a call to meet with his supervisor. He came home with a contract, but he was unhappy with the changes his boss had made. We talked and talked and talked some more, then started calling friends for wise counsel. One friend told us flat-out that the we need to renegotiate the terms of the contract. Another friend asked if my husband would be happy there, regardless of pay and such. That was when we called a pastor at the church and asked him about the position offered. In a matter of days, we knew that God was steering our boat towards the church, not the school. My husband resigned as a teacher, then waited for the church to officially hire him.

That's the story in a nutshell. And now, here we are.

As I think about the present and the future, it is good to look back and be reminded of God's faithfulness to me. I've mentioned before that I never wanted to be a pastor's wife. I grew up as a PK (pastor's kid) and I know the stresses of raising a family while working in ministry. But I also know that all along, God has been preparing me for this role. Because of my experiences, I know how to care for other pastor's wives and children, how to avoid church politics and power struggles, and how to be inclusive of all ages and all kinds of people.

And as always, I'm learning that it is not always about my comfort level or desires. It's about letting God lead. I don't know what the rest of 2013 has in store for me, but whatever it is, I can trust that it is good! God has never let me down, from unemployment in 2009, to our new home in 2010, to a fifth child in 2011 (you can read those stories by clicking here), to a career change in 2012, He is all-knowing, sovereign, and merciful. And I'm so glad He is!