A Little Pain Goes a Long Way

My young son likes to choose a movie when we are at the library. Usually, he goes for Bob the Builder or Thomas the Train, but one day he found something new. The cover showed train locomotives with big eyes and smiling faces. They weren't as cute as Thomas, but I liked indulging my son every now and then, so I checked it out.

Later that day, we all sat down to watch his video. The animation was okay and the story was clean and straightforward, but after one episode, I told the kids that we couldn't watch anymore. The young trains in the video had outright disobeyed in such a way that their little train lives were in danger, and yet all they got in the end was a gentle scolding from a grown-up. I wonder, How much media out there is conveying this kind of parenting? Are we so afraid of damaging our children's egos that parents cannot be strong and forceful with a child, even when the situation calls for it?

I am not blind to my children's reactions when I correct their mistakes. Sometimes they pout, sometimes they look down at their feet. But when they are doing something that puts themselves or someone else in danger, I do not hesitate to raise my voice to stop them. Then my child may look hurt, causing a pang in my heart, but I must see the bigger picture.  Discipline (related to the word 'disciple') sometimes causes pain, but that pain can be soothed with reassurance and comfort afterwards. What I shouldn't do is avoid the pain altogether. As a parent, ask yourself these questions:

If my child never feels shame, how will he/she learn right from wrong?

If my child never feels regret, how will he/she learn from his/her mistakes?

If my child never feels guilt, how will he/she learn to take responsibility for his/her actions?

Despite what some 'parenting experts' say, there is nothing wrong with negative feelings. God put the voice of conscience inside us (our little Jiminy Crickets) to guide us. Just like pain from a burn causes us to remove our hand from the fire, proper scolding, though it may seem harsh at the time, can prevent further damage down the road.