On Expectations and the Church

Growing up as a pastor's daughter, I've heard this question my whole life.

"How much does the church cater to the expectations of the public?"

I choose to use the word 'public' instead the word 'congregation' because there really are two arguments going on here: how much do we do for the sake of growing the Body within, and how much do we do to 'attract' those on the outside?

Whatever the argument, I don't know if there is an answer, especially for those of us ministering in the United States. We want to set ourselves apart from the world, but we don't want to look too different. But it seems that if we focus on one crowd, we're going to lose another. It's the elderly against the youth, the hymns and organ or drums and worship songs, or polished, "professional" programs versus volunteer, lay-run ministry.  Everyone comes to church with a certain expectation (nice-looking building, coffee and refreshments, etc.) and many leave when those expectations aren't met.

"Well, the early church didn't have childcare and youth programs or fifteen minute sermons!"

And one could argue, "Well, this isn't the first century anymore. Times have changed."

"Churches in China and Africa don't have fancy buildings, full bands, and a light show!"

And another could argue, "This isn't China or Africa. This is suburbia in a wealthy nation."

And when one church doesn't satisfy you, it's all too easy to find a new church. 

I'm not saying that churches are in competition with each other; I am saying that sometimes we focus too much on demographics, age group, or social class, and we allow that to damage the unity within the Body. Leadership can spend their days arguing about the flow of the worship service, but in the end, the answer to the question "Who do we want to attract to our church?" should be "Those who love Jesus."

Of course, then we go back to the old argument: "But I love Jesus better through hymns." "It's easier to love Jesus when the chairs are cushioned."

It hurts my heart. Talk like this feels like a divorce in my family. I've seen friends become enemies over talk like this. I've seen churches grow cancerous and die. I've heard people both within the church and outside the church ask, "How can the God of love be the God of this?"

This is what I say from my observations: it's time for each of us to look outside ourselves. It's time to open our eyes and see the elderly and the young in our church, the widows and orphans, and our brothers and sisters abroad. It's time to look past the color of the carpet or the number of musicians on the stage. Let's reexamine our expectations of 'church' and realign them with what the Bible teaches.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit-- just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call-- one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.  ~Ephesians 4:1-6