Last Monday, my husband started a new tradition in our family. He had been reading Voddie Baucham's book Family Driven Faith when he suddenly got this idea: to celebrate one child a day for five days straight. The day would be called "[child's name] day" (for example, "Rita Day") and we would each take the time that day to tell the child what we appreciate about him/her and doing one special thing for or with that child.
We started on Tuesday with our youngest. At lunch, family members shared things like "I like how she is so happy," and "She always comes over and asks if you're okay when you're hurt." Her siblings read stories to her or gave her a lollipop. She was too young to know that the day was special, but the other children joyfully participated in Day 1 of our experiment, knowing that their day would come soon.
By Thursday, the children were planning what they would do with their siblings and what they would say at a meal, and I was starting to notice a difference in the children's play. Where the girls usually argue about which games to play (and then in the end not play anything at all), I heard, "You can choose! It's your day!" Then they played and laughed together for hours. The older children played with the younger children, the girls played with the boys, and they learned to think about the other person more than themselves.
And what did I learn? That sometimes, I have to be intentional with my time. Telling myself that I will do something special with my child 'when I have time' usually means the whole day goes by and nothing happens. But planning to do one special something before the day is done means I will make the time to do it-- squeezing in an ice cream treat after taking my daughter to the optometrist, making cookies with my little baker, sitting down to play a game one-on-one with my son.
The festivities conclude* today with our oldest. When he chose a movie for our 'Saturday morning cartoon', no one complained about his choice. I've enjoyed listening to the children play Legos together with no bickering, and the children love hearing their siblings (and parents) say positive, encouraging things about them. With no presents, no balloons or cake, no reason other than to celebrate the uniqueness of a child and shower love on him/her, we've had a wonderful five days of fun touched with a sweetness that reminded me of Christmas (but without the stress). I don't know when we'll do this again, but I KNOW that this will become a favorite tradition in our family.
*My brain blanked on this word, and I had to ask my husband, "What's the opposite of 'commence'? This is his contribution to my blog, and I told him I would give him credit for it.
By Thursday, the children were planning what they would do with their siblings and what they would say at a meal, and I was starting to notice a difference in the children's play. Where the girls usually argue about which games to play (and then in the end not play anything at all), I heard, "You can choose! It's your day!" Then they played and laughed together for hours. The older children played with the younger children, the girls played with the boys, and they learned to think about the other person more than themselves.
And what did I learn? That sometimes, I have to be intentional with my time. Telling myself that I will do something special with my child 'when I have time' usually means the whole day goes by and nothing happens. But planning to do one special something before the day is done means I will make the time to do it-- squeezing in an ice cream treat after taking my daughter to the optometrist, making cookies with my little baker, sitting down to play a game one-on-one with my son.
The festivities conclude* today with our oldest. When he chose a movie for our 'Saturday morning cartoon', no one complained about his choice. I've enjoyed listening to the children play Legos together with no bickering, and the children love hearing their siblings (and parents) say positive, encouraging things about them. With no presents, no balloons or cake, no reason other than to celebrate the uniqueness of a child and shower love on him/her, we've had a wonderful five days of fun touched with a sweetness that reminded me of Christmas (but without the stress). I don't know when we'll do this again, but I KNOW that this will become a favorite tradition in our family.
*My brain blanked on this word, and I had to ask my husband, "What's the opposite of 'commence'? This is his contribution to my blog, and I told him I would give him credit for it.
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