Knowing that September is going to be a busy month for me because of school and baby (and sleep deprivation), I decided to do something different. Most of the posts this month will actually be re-posts. I've learned some valuable lessons in the three-and-a-half years since I've started this blog, and I'm sure that most of you don't have the time to sit at the computer and read all that I've ever written. So I will find some of my favorite posts (that are not already in the side bar to the left) and share them with you. Here's one from 2011…
*This post is mostly about books. I've added a bit about movies as an afterword.
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Building on the book list in my last post, can I emphasize enough how important it is to read to your children? By reading to your children, you are building the foundation for their spoken and written language, their higher thinking skills, and their creative minds. But there is another important reason to read to your children: you are passing on your 'narrative'.
The idea of narrative goes back thousands of years, back to the time when people sat around the fire and told stories about their day or their past, including folktales. The morals and beliefs of one generation passed onto the next, and in this simple way, a culture endured.
Fast forward to present day, and we have generations that are isolated and disconnected. Older generations call the younger ones 'rebellious' and 'disrespectful', while the younger generations argue that the older ones 'just don't get it' and blame them for 'messing things up anyway'. There are many factors that can cause this rift, but one is that narrative is no longer passed from generation to generation. What has taken the place of stories around the fire? Movies, television, and video games. Pop culture, not parents and grandparents, passes on its beliefs to the new generation. Dana Gioia, poet, critic, and former chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, said on Volume 70 of the Mars Hill Audio Journal (an audio magazine focusing on contemporary culture and Christian conviction), "There is a human hunger for narrative... In fact, psychologists have demonstrated that when someone is telling you a story, you listen differently than from how you would a discursive argument. Unfortunately, that need for narrative is being satisfied at the lowest levels by video games, by action movies, by television, and other electronic media." That is why I worried when 'adult' movies like American Pie or The Ring became a hit among junior highers. They were filling their need for narrative with media that glorifies sex, drugs, rebellion, and exhilaration.
Jesus taught in parables for a reason. Stories stick. They don't lecture. They invite the listener to live another's life, and learn from it. You, as the parent, can choose which stories stick with your children. In our family, we read books aloud, before naptime and bedtime, and also at the dinner table. The dinner table book is always a chapter book picked by my husband; right now we are reading The Hobbit. We also listen to books and stories on CD in the car, instead of the radio. And of course, we have our children read on their own, by themselves or aloud to us. Lastly, we like to tell stories in our family, stories about myself or my husband we when were younger. Some stories have morals, and some are just fun memories. Our kids ask for those again and again.
How can you pass on your narrative? Start with your infants. Check out books at the library (some may need previewing). Read and discuss books. Tell stories about your childhood. Ask grandparents to tell stories about their childhood. And above all, read Bible stories, either from the Bible or a good illustrated version (I recommend The Jesus Storybook Bible). I also highly, HIGLY recommend three books by David and Karen Mains, titled Tales of the Kingdom, Tales of the Resistance, and Tales of the Restoration. Another good resource is Honey for a Child's Heart, by Gladys Hunt. The book discusses the importance of reading with your children, how to pick great books, and includes book lists for all ages.
If you would like to see my recommended book lists, click on the following links:
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*My husband and I are always emphasizing to our children and other parents how movies are a form of narrative. Even the most faithful of our parenting friends (or grandparenting friends) tend to get too lax in the area of choosing movies for their children to watch. Remember that G and PG ratings are based only on certain things such as violence and language. The simple letter rating cannot tell you about spiritual content or messages on morality. I recommend previewing movies (especially newer ones) before you take your children to the movie theater or show them at home. There are also online Christian resources that will give you a thorough movie review; the one I use is Focus on the Family's Plugged In. And more importantly than censoring everything you children watch is discussing what you watched with your children during or after the viewing. We even talk about Lego cartoons with our oldest, because the ninjas practice meditation and the Chima creatures have their crystals. Our goal is to make sure our children are not blindly absorbing what passes in front of their eyes. We are training them to filter everything through God's Word and to examine their surrounding culture with intelligence and good moral judgment.
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