Most people think my life must be crazy. Or I must be crazy. Why would I choose to have six kids otherwise? Noise, mayhem, the never-ending demands– if I'm not crazy, then I must be Superwoman.
I never pictured myself as a mother of six. Like most everyone else, I had to learn the basics of childcare and parenting when my first child was born. But then, with each child who entered my life, I discovered that there was still more I had to learn, though the lessons, surprisingly, were not what I would have imagined them to be. Raising six children has taught me more than patience and efficiency. It has taught me…
1) how to ask for help.
I have always been an independent person. I wanted to do everything myself, and I didn't think I needed to change, even when I found myself with a baby attached to my breast or a toddler attached to my leg. But as the number of children I had increased while the number of hands I owned stayed the same, I became more and more frustrated. I needed more hands! And more hands came, in the form of friends, family, my husband, and even my children now. All I have to do is ask!
2) how to rest.
As I said, I used to try to do everything. Before having children, it never bothered me to go from event to event, task to task. I soon discovered that with children, this kind of living wears out both the children and the parent. Now, when someone asks me or invites me to do something, I say "no" if I need to (without feeling guilty). We have quiet time in the middle of the day, so the younger ones and I can nap. Every Sunday after church, the family has mandatory rest time (which means lying down without books or anything). After a string of busy days, we take a day or two to stay home. I remember God's commandment to honor the Sabbath, and one way of doing so is by resting.
3) how to clean.
Messes never bothered me until now! I used to tell myself, "It's not that bad. Do it later," and so procrastinated on cleaning until company was coming over. That changed when I noticed how quickly the bathroom got dirty after a day. Books that I just put away are scattered across the floor… again. Toys that are left out become a hazard and clutter up precious little living space. My house is far from spotless, but I don't procrastinate anymore when it comes to cleaning! Keeping messes to a minimum helps me keep my life organized and makes this busy home more enjoyable for everyone.
4) how to communicate.
Sometimes I think my words are clear, then wonder why my child is not doing what I asked! Eye contact and well-defined instructions (or consequences) are crucial if we are all to survive living together. Also, to go beyond 'survival', I have learned how to speak with love and grace and directness when heart issues need to be addressed. And sometimes, the one with the issues is me. "I'm sorry" and "Do you forgive me?" are well-practiced in our home.
5) how to hug.
I didn't grow up with hugs. Hugging is still not my natural inclination. I consciously tell myself to hug my children, and happily receive their hugs in return!
6) how to appreciate the little things.
Ten minutes of quiet.
A roly-poly.
A short but deep conversation with a friend.
My husband washing the dishes.
Taking a walk with my family.
A clean room.
Food on the table.
A good night's sleep.
"I love you."
Having six children can be chaotic at times, but the benefits, visible and invisible, far outweigh the work and stress. Though the lessons may not be easy, I am looking forward to all that God wants to teach me through my kids!
I never pictured myself as a mother of six. Like most everyone else, I had to learn the basics of childcare and parenting when my first child was born. But then, with each child who entered my life, I discovered that there was still more I had to learn, though the lessons, surprisingly, were not what I would have imagined them to be. Raising six children has taught me more than patience and efficiency. It has taught me…
1) how to ask for help.
I have always been an independent person. I wanted to do everything myself, and I didn't think I needed to change, even when I found myself with a baby attached to my breast or a toddler attached to my leg. But as the number of children I had increased while the number of hands I owned stayed the same, I became more and more frustrated. I needed more hands! And more hands came, in the form of friends, family, my husband, and even my children now. All I have to do is ask!
2) how to rest.
As I said, I used to try to do everything. Before having children, it never bothered me to go from event to event, task to task. I soon discovered that with children, this kind of living wears out both the children and the parent. Now, when someone asks me or invites me to do something, I say "no" if I need to (without feeling guilty). We have quiet time in the middle of the day, so the younger ones and I can nap. Every Sunday after church, the family has mandatory rest time (which means lying down without books or anything). After a string of busy days, we take a day or two to stay home. I remember God's commandment to honor the Sabbath, and one way of doing so is by resting.
3) how to clean.
Messes never bothered me until now! I used to tell myself, "It's not that bad. Do it later," and so procrastinated on cleaning until company was coming over. That changed when I noticed how quickly the bathroom got dirty after a day. Books that I just put away are scattered across the floor… again. Toys that are left out become a hazard and clutter up precious little living space. My house is far from spotless, but I don't procrastinate anymore when it comes to cleaning! Keeping messes to a minimum helps me keep my life organized and makes this busy home more enjoyable for everyone.
4) how to communicate.
Sometimes I think my words are clear, then wonder why my child is not doing what I asked! Eye contact and well-defined instructions (or consequences) are crucial if we are all to survive living together. Also, to go beyond 'survival', I have learned how to speak with love and grace and directness when heart issues need to be addressed. And sometimes, the one with the issues is me. "I'm sorry" and "Do you forgive me?" are well-practiced in our home.
5) how to hug.
I didn't grow up with hugs. Hugging is still not my natural inclination. I consciously tell myself to hug my children, and happily receive their hugs in return!
6) how to appreciate the little things.
Ten minutes of quiet.
A roly-poly.
A short but deep conversation with a friend.
My husband washing the dishes.
Taking a walk with my family.
A clean room.
Food on the table.
A good night's sleep.
"I love you."
Having six children can be chaotic at times, but the benefits, visible and invisible, far outweigh the work and stress. Though the lessons may not be easy, I am looking forward to all that God wants to teach me through my kids!
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