What I Learned in 2015

The year 2000 seemed like such a mile stone, and now here we are, flipping the calendar page to 2016.

The biggest difference between the 2000-version of me and the 2015-version of me is that the old me thought she knew everything. She was intelligent, sassy, gung-ho, and ready to face the world. Then she was hit with real life: full-time work, a break-up, a marriage, one baby, two babies, three babies, unemployment…

The 2015-version of me is more humble and more dependent on God. And if she could give any advice to give to the 2016-version of me, it would be this:

Be humble and faithful in what you were given. Trust God in everything, even the unknown.

And don't stop striving and learning, because, hey, you don't know everything. Every year there are lessons great and small to be learned. And the great lesson I learned in 2015 was that I needed to connect with God more consistently. For years now, I haven't been attending a Bible study, or reading the Bible regularly. And that finally changed last year.

First, I stopped making excuses. Most days, I hit the ground running, but if I make a little effort, I can still find time somewhere in the middle or end of the day to sit with my Bible for a few minutes. If I have time to blog and look at photos on Facebook, I have time for God. Also, my friend Elizabeth had been inviting me to a Bible study at her house for the past several years, and I always said, "Well, it's during nap time, so maybe when the baby's older?" And of course, that day never came. But the day did come when I realized that my priorities were not in order. And I had to admit to myself that it was the quiet hour and my own nap time that I didn't want to give up. What was more important to me, naps, or my relationship with God? I asked myself. Foregoing a nap once every two weeks was not going to break me or the baby. But having fellowship with other sisters and diving into the Bible had benefits that were far-reaching and life-giving. I made a choice and started attending the Bible study in September.

Second, I needed accountability. All my previous attempts to read through the Bible or read a chapter a day petered out after a few weeks. So when my friend Kristin asked if I would like to join her online "study", I said, "Sure!" And we, along with several other women, read through Psalm 119 in six weeks. We followed a schedule and used e-mail to share with each other what we learned. And after six weeks, I felt connected to these other women, even though we had not seen each other face to face. I learned to not just read through the Bible passage and close the book, but to S.O.A.P., which stands for Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer. This acronym and the study comes from a great website called Love God Greatly. (I included their explanation of S.O.A.P. at the end of this post.) I've done three studies now with Kristin, and I am eager to do more in 2016!

Tomorrow, the sun will rise on a new day. Who knows what 2016 will bring for the Baird family? Who knows what lessons I will learn this year?

Though the questions sound rhetorical, they actually have an answer: God knows! And He knows what this year has in store for you too! I encourage you to seek God more courageously this year, whether it means spending more time in the Word, reaching out to more people, making a sacrifice, or being obedient.

Happy New Year!

What does S.O.A.P. mean?

S- The S stands for Scripture- You physically write out the scripture… you'll be amazed at what God will reveal to you just by taking the time to slow down and actually write out what you are reading!

O- The O stands for Observation- What do you see in the verses that you're reading? Who is the audience? Is there a repetition of words? What words stand out to you?

A- The A stands for Application- This is when God's Word becomes personal. What is God saying to me today? How can I apply what I just read to my own personal life? What canoes do I need to make? Is there an action that I need to take?

P- The P stands for Prayer. Pray God's Word back to Him. If He has revealed something to you during this time in His Word, pray about it. Confess if He has revealed some sin that is in your life.

Rethinking Christmas Gifts

I know we just celebrated Christmas. I know that we have 365 days until it comes again. But for some, it may take the whole year to reset how we approach Christmas presents. For some, this means making a change after a whole lifetime of giving gifts a certain way.

Don't worry. I'm not going to the extreme of saying, "Don't give any presents at Christmas! Ever!" What I am proposing is a change in focus, that we make birthdays be about people, and Christmas be about Christ. And this is all that means:

Some families have a tradition of giving BIG, expensive presents at Christmas: bikes, video games, stereo systems, etc. And most families have a tradition of giving gifts to each individual. How hard would it be to instead give those big, individual presents at a birthday instead of at Christmas? Birthdays are meant for celebrating a person, after all. That is the day we say, "You are special to us! We are so glad that you are in our lives!"

Then, on Christmas, the day that we celebrate Christ's birth, we give small gifts, or gifts that are meant to be shared. Parents can give their children a game, or an outing, or a roller hockey set (my brother did that one year; my kids LOVED it!) Or give Bibles or books that encourage growth and learning. We can also make presents for each other. My gift to my children this year was a marble maze made from a big shoe box, popsicle sticks, and glue. It's not fancy, and it may not last until next Christmas, but it was made with love and care.

The streets by my town's outlet mall are packed like a parking lot. There is a traffic jam on the freeway because so many people are trying to go there to return things or to hit the sales. But if we take a little time to rethink Christmas presents, we can avoid the trap of the gluttony and rediscover the heart of Christmas: love, kindness, joy, and Christ himself.

A Great Light

When we are in darkness, there is nothing but the darkness, because we cannot see anything.

Then, there is a glimmer, and the glimmer gives us hope, and the glimmer shows us beauty, for we find the glimmer itself to be beautiful.

As the glimmer grows, we see more and more. We begin to see ourselves, we see the path, we see the world as it is. 

But the light also shows us the darkness of the darkness. And we may feel overwhelmed by the darkness of the darkness, and therefore, lose hope, succumbing to its burden of sorrow. Or we may hate the light for revealing the darkness and its ugliness, and we turn away from the light to hide again in our former state. Or we may love the light, because it is beautiful, because it is warm, because we know that it is life-giving. It gives us courage to uncurl ourselves and stand up to reach for that which is greater than ourselves. The Light.

May your Christmas be merry and BRIGHT!

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;
those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone. ~Isaiah 9:2

The Word Made Flesh

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God… And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. ~John 1:1, 14)

And as G. Campbell Morgan (1864-1945) said at the end of his sermon on this passage: 

Let me say in conclusion that we underrate the infinite value and meaning of this fact of incarnation when we speak of it as something in the past. The incarnation is an abiding fact, not something merely past. At this very hour that same Person is at the center of the universe of God, the risen, glorified and enthroned Man. And if you tell me that that is to state something that cannot be believed because it transcends the possibility of belief, I tell you that it no more transcends the possibility of belief than does the fact of the historic incarnation. If He came into human flesh, and tabernacled among us, and if while there He could speak of Himself as yet in the bosom of the Father, and as yet being the Word with God, so remember that today He abided for manifestation at the center of the universe of God, the risen and glorified Man, at once a prophecy and a promise, hearing which we dare believe that at last He also will perfect us, and we shall see Him, and be with Him, and be like Him.

What Are We Celebrating?

Over the years, a new tradition has emerged in the Baird household. The week after Christmas, I spend a week cleaning out the old toys and books, deciding what can be throw away or given away, just to make room for the new stuff. Believe me, it's never the way I plan to spend my vacation.

But that's what it's become on most occasions. Christmas Day begins with stockings, breakfast, and presents; then we clean up and move on to lunch, and sometimes more presents; then we cook and feast and crash into bed with a full stomach and a living room full of things.

Most Christmas Days come and go and I barely have time to think about Jesus. I'm too busy "celebrating" to pay attention to the Birthday Boy. The decorations and the giving add beauty to an already beautiful holiday, but do they also distract?

Have we made idols of presents and decorations? I wonder. Have we made idols of food, traditions, and even family?

If we took away the lights, the trees, the presents, the food, and the parties, would we find that we still have something to celebrate?

More Than the Baby

What is Christmas all about?

If you say Santa Claus and elves, you are far from the bull's- eye.

If you say goodwill and giving gifts, you are aiming for the nail, but missing its head.

If you say the baby in the straw, the angels, and the shepherds, you're partly correct. Yes, Christmas is the celebration of Jesus's birth, but that's not all.

Because if we only celebrate the baby, that would be like throwing my husband a birthday party and giving him tiny baby clothes and diapers. If we focus too much on the birth, we aren't looking past that one event to see what follows.

Christmas fills us with joy because the Savior had arrived.

Christmas fills us with hope because his life mission was to die in our place.
Christmas fills us with peace because God came to earth as a human to bring us back to him.

For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. ~Hebrews 2:17

If you don't know much more about Christmas than Santa Claus, wrapping presents, or even the baby in the manger, I pray that this is the Christmas that you will discover the deeper, truer meaning of Christmas.

May your Christmas be full of joy, peace, and hope.

Stretching My Wings- A Letter

Dear readers,

I apologize if I appear to be ignoring my blog. I've only posted twice in December, and one reason is perfectly legitimate– I'm enjoying the Christmas season! But the other reason, well, I've been posting my writing on another website. A friend connected me to the editor of Camera Words on medium.com, and after submitting one article (which she published!), my mind has been in a whirl of ideas. Camera Words combines photography and writing– basically, we are telling the story behind the photo. And I LOVE photography. And of course I love writing. So you can see how I got hooked.

Don't worry, I am not giving up on my blog. The writing I do for Camera Words is on a different plane. If you are interested in reading my writing there, here are the links:

A Moment Captured

My Little Man

My Grandfather's Gift to Me

Enjoy! And I'll be back, I promise!

~Rita

Trust in the Unseen

Turn on the television, and the children come running.

How do they know? I always wondered. It's like they have a sixth sense for the TV!

Then they told me. When the television is turned on, they all hear a high pitch sound. I don't. I'm too old.

But I can't argue that the frequency doesn't exist, just because I can't hear it. It's there, according to my children, and I have to trust them. I have to believe that they are not lying and conspiring against me. 

How about "seeing is believing?" How far can we really go with that? Many things happened before my lifetime. I didn't see them. I have to trust the people who wrote down what they saw. 

In reality, our senses are very limited. We are not unlike a blind person trying to cross the street, or a deaf person trying to understand an important message, because we all put our trust in something to help us through life. The question is… who, or what, do we trust? Experts? Health? Money? Good looks?

I for one choose to trust the One who sees all, hears all, and knows all. I cannot see Him, but I know He exists.

I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Savior did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I
I wonder as I wander out under the sky

One Year

I can't wait for him to get past this phase. My son climbs on the table and dumps everything he finds there. He throws his food over the side of his high chair. He screeches when he doesn't get what he wants. He pulls ornaments and lights off the tree. It'll be great when he learns to listen, when he has some words, when he's older...

Wait, what am I saying?! At the most, I will have only one year with my one-year-old. Out of how ever many years God chooses to give my son, I will still have only one year with my one-year-old. And how ever old I may live to be, even if I live to be a hundred and one, I will still have only one year with my one-year-old.

It may be difficult. It may be frustrating. It may be exhausting. But I don't want to miss any of it.

It's my one year, only one year, my only one year, with my one-year-old.

Traditions Old and New

Advent is upon us! People are putting lights on their houses! Cars become transport vehicles for Christmas trees! Stores play carols and Christmas tunes through their loud speakers!

And why does any of it matter? Why do people get excited about Christmas, even if they celebrate it only for secular reasons?

It's the anticipation.

It is something to look forward to during the rest of the year. It marks this time as different from the other months. It gives us a sense of community. And who doesn't like having an excuse to celebrate?

And that is why family traditions are something to think about. Because a tradition is repeated, family members (especially children) can anticipate them. They look forward to the tradition as something out of the ordinary. The traditions are something THEY do, uniting them as a family. And of course, they're fun!

Some families have traditions that are decades old. And a new family can certainly come up with a tradition that will be all their own. But if you grew up with no family traditions, you may not know where to start. My answer to that is: start anywhere! Do something annually and it becomes a tradition! My brother-in-law takes his children out for a hot chocolate on their birthday, starting at the age of three. My nephew and nieces LOVE their birthday hot chocolate with Daddy! So think, what does your family enjoy doing in general? What is considered a treat? What is doable on a regular basis? (Hawaii would be a nice tradition, but only in my dreams!) Then pick a day and do it every year on that day or around that same time.

If you are wanting to start some traditions in your family, Christmas is a great time to do so. Here are some ideas to get you going:

-Buy a potted Christmas tree and plant it. Decorate it with popcorn and cranberry strings, fruit, and nuts for the animals. 

-Do a countdown to Christmas morning by making a paper chain 24 links long. Everyday, tear off a link and watch as the chain grows shorter and shorter. You can also write a Bible verse or "activity for the day" (like "Make popcorn balls") on each chain.

-Tell stories or memories related to each ornament as you put them on the tree.

-Bake goodies and share them with your neighbors. Surprise them with a song on their door step.

-Hike or drive up to a vista point and look at the stars. Try to envision the first Christmas.

-Host an old-fashion caroling outing or singalong. 

-Dress up in make-shift costumes and reenact the Christmas story. Have a narrator read the biblical accounts of the birth while everyone else pantomimes. Children love being Mary, Joseph, angels, or sheep. Infants born that year have the honor of being Baby Jesus.

Remember, though, that traditions are not a rule to live by. They should never feel like shackles. If you find yourself feeling bitter, angry, or stressed because of a tradition, stop. Ask yourself, "What is more important- joy, peace, and love or this tradition?" The traditions may not be worth doing if it causes tension between family members or robs people of the joy of the holiday. Why are we even celebrating? Because it's Jesus's birthday! It's a holy day (the root of the word 'holiday')! And it's not the cookies that make it holy, or the  songs, or the lights! Traditions and decoration should enhance the holiday; don't let them become a distraction.

If you are interested in reading more on traditions or Christmas ideas, here are some quick links:

Christmas Traditions

Our Favorite Christmas Stories

Because we have plans to travel this year, I changed our traditions a bit. But my children and I still look forward to this fun and festive time! The youngest will be introduced to our traditions, and who knows? maybe we'll discover a new tradition this year! 

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 5 or 5)

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ~Colossians 3:15-20 (ESV)

I have sat at many Thanksgiving dinners. I have held the kernel of corn and have announced to everyone at the table what I was thankful for that year. And every year, I say the same things: my family, my home, my health, my Savior. They are all wonderful things, of course, but they are the easy answer. It is easy for me to be thankful for a husband who loves me, my beautiful children, a spacious home in California.

But this year, something changed me. At a thanksgiving prayer service a few weeks back, I was asked a question:

"What is hindering you from giving thanks?"

My initial reaction was, "Nothing! I am SO thankful! I'm thankful for everything in my life!"

Then I studied the seven words posted on the wall, seven things that could be keeping me from being truly grateful. It took me a few minutes to be honest with myself. Entitlement, doubt, anger? Nope, nope, nope. I'm good. Bitterness, fear? Nope, nope. I'm good there too. Covetousness? Nope. Anxiety? Nope... wait… hmmm… well… hmmm… maybe…

I finally admitted that I did have some bitterness towards some family members. I did have anxiety concerning homeschooling and my image in the church. I did covet when I visited other people's homes or heard about other people's travels. And as long as I held onto these things, I could not be grateful for those family members, for homeschooling, for my role in the church, for my home, or for God's purpose for me at this time of life.

After prayer and repentance, I relinquished my bitterness, anxiety, and covetousness to God. And for the first time in years, I was able to say that I was thankful for the harder things in my life.

What is hindering you from giving thanks? Is it…

            ENTITLEMENT

                        BITTERNESS         

                                ANGER

                        FEAR

               DOUBT

                      COVETOUSNESS    

                         ANXIETY

May this be the year you trade these in for something better!

Wherever you are this Thanksgiving, may God give you a joyful, grateful day. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to the Father.

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 4 of 5)

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~I Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)

I read once that the best cure for grumpiness is to smile. The smile may be forced at first, but it slowly changes your whole attitude and lifts your spirit! 

Words can have a similar affect. By changing one word within a sentence, the sentence can take on a whole new meaning, which in turn, can change your outlook!

Here's an example. Every year as my birthday approaches, my husband reminds me that my attitude towards aging pivots on just one word. In English, I would say "I am thirty-seven-old" but in French (and other romance languages), I would say "J'ai trente-sept ans – I have thirty-seven years." Rather than lament that I'm just getting more wrinkled and gray with each passing year, I can own these years, like I am staking a claim, or like I've reached a wonderful goal in time and wisdom.

So, what does this have to do with thanksgiving? I recently discovered that I say "I have to…" quite a bit. Nothing wrong with that, except that I usually said it with a tone of resignation.

"I have to cook dinner."
"I have to take the kids to the park."
"I have to read the Bible."*

But change the "have" to "get", and my sentences become…

"I get to cook dinner."
"I get to take the kids to the park."
"I get to read the Bible."**

Presto-change-o! Wow, what a difference one word makes! All of a sudden, what were once my duties become my delights! Even the most dreaded chores (like scrubbing the toilet) becomes delightful when I think, "I get to…" Then my whole attitude changes. I remember that there is One who has given me much, and that I have much to be thankful for. Though my acts may be simple and mundane, I am a blessed woman because I CAN do these acts everyday. 

*A quick English language lesson for my international readers–

The colloquialism "have to" means "must". Example: "I have to feed the dog" means "I must feed the dog." 
**The colloquialism "get to" means "to have the opportunity to". Example: "I get to go to the movies tonight" means "I have the opportunity to go to the movies tonight."

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 3 of 5)

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! ~Psalm 105:1 (ESV)

Did you know that…
- if your heart beats an average of 80 beats per minute, it beats 115,200 times in one day?
- if you average 16 breaths per minute while at rest, your lungs will take 23,040 breaths in one day?
- your red bone marrow makes about 2 million red blood cells every second?
- when you take a step, you use 200 muscles to move your leg and feet and to keep your balance?

I give thanks to God for what my body is capable of doing without my help. Can you imagine how hard life would be if we have to consciously will every breath, every heart beat, every blood cell? Our bodies can take in food and distribute it; it can fight most disease and heal itself; it can regulate heat. Even now, as you are reading this, your iris can control how much light enters your eye, your pupil is focusing, your retina is relaying messages to your brain– all without your doing! Amazing!

I know that my body is such a complex system that if one part stops working, I could be dead in a –ahem– heartbeat (sorry, I couldn't help myself). And so every day that I can get out of bed, see my children, say 'Good morning' to my husband– all without thinking– it is all because of God's design! And for that, I am thankful!

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 2 of 5)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. ~Psalm 136:1 (ESV)

Have you ever been thankful for something you didn't receive? I mean, REALLY thankful for what God didn't give you, even though you wanted it with all your heart? We say "Thank You Lord that I don't have cancer" with ease, but how about "Thank You God for not giving me that promotion"?

I wasn't always very grateful as a child. I grumbled as I hung laundry for my family, because many of my classmates had maids. I hated the fact that I qualified for a free lunch at school and had to endure mocking from other girls when they saw what I didn't have sandwiches like theirs. Every time I went to my friends' houses and saw what they had, I left wanting video games, pierced ears, a bigger house, or a nicer car. Even when I visited other churches, I was envious of their building, sanctuary, worship team, and classrooms. I prayed that God would give me these good things. Then I wondered why He didn't.

But it was God's gift to me that He didn't give me all that I wanted! I am more humble and more empathetic today because of what I didn't have. I am able to take care of my family on a tighter budget because I learned how to do so from my parents. I have a different outlook on church that is not based on a building or a worship team.

And this doesn't even touch on all the other times in my life when God DIDN'T give me what I wanted: the man I wanted to marry, the trip I wanted to take, the career I wanted to pursue… the list is unending. Every year, my eyes are opened to yet another way that God has blessed me by NOT giving me what I wanted. I am so grateful that God withheld those things from me, only to give me something BETTER!

"God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful– "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better." ~Elizabeth Elliot

(special thanks to my friend Sharon for sharing this quote with me)

A Spirit of Thanksgiving (Part 1 of 5)

The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God! ~Psalm 50:23 (ESV)

In a few weeks, we will be celebrating the holiday of Thanksgiving. I love this holiday because it is simply what its name implies– 'giving thanks'. There are no gifts involved, no candy and chocolate, just a day to remember all that God has provided for us this past year.

But still, even as we are trying to focus on gratitude, there are things competing for our attention. There's always a big game of American football on TV that day. There's also a parade. And of course, there's food, and lots of it. And now some stores have started their Christmas sales on Thanksgiving day. On the day when we should be thinking of all that we have already received, some people choose to go out to buy more.

To remind my children and myself that we should have a spirit of thanksgiving at this time of year, I have made a Thankful Tree. Anyone (and I do mean anyone) can take a leaf from the ground, write one thing or one person for which he/she is thankful, and stick the leaf on the tree. It's like autumn in reverse! Every time I look at the tree, there are more leaves on its branches! And as our Thankful Tree grows, I pray so does our gratitude to God.

A Day Wasted

Today, my husband and I did NOT drive three hours to Chico. 

We did NOT have lunch with our friend there.

We did NOT attend a wedding.

And we did NOT drive three hours home.

Instead, we dropped off the older children at my in-laws (as planned) and my husband went to see a doctor. Then we stayed home all day with our one-year-old.

Even then, with a day wide open before me and not the usual crew to care for, I did not do my usual thing.

I did NOT clean the house. 

I did NOT make dinner. 

I did NOT get ready for school on Monday. 

I had a whole day, and I wasted it on a walk, playing the piano, talking to my neighbors, eating Chinese food from the restaurant down the street, sleeping, being extra kind to my husband, and thinking about how single parents and children from divorced families are the widows and orphans of today.

Okay, so I didn't waste my day.

But some people would have called it a waste, like I took a hundred dollars and spent it all on candy.

"You didn't get anything done today!" they would say.

"Yes, I did!" I would argue back. "I rested." 

And rest is NOT candy.

Rest is nourishment.

How to Travel Through Time

For a school assignment, my sixth-grader had to come up with five questions to ask her great-grandmother or great-grandfather about growing up during the Depression. My daughter tried and tried, but she could not think of anything to ask. 

"Remember, they didn't have computers then. What else could be different?" I suggested.

My daughter's mind was stuck. She had a hard time picturing her great-grandmother as a little girl.

Then an idea struck me. I said, "Okay, imagine you have a time machine. You are going back to the 1930's and you want to know what life was like then for girls."

That helped my daughter finish the assignment. And it gave me a whole new appreciation for the older members of our community. Time travel IS possible! All around us are eye witnesses to the Great Depression, World War 2, and the launch of Sputnik. If we just took the time to sit down with an elderly person, we could learn so much about life before our own time.

But sadly, we don't often take the time. We don't even take the time to remember that these men and women, who are slow, hard of hearing, and sometimes– let's admit it– boring, these people have lived a WHOLE life. They have stories to tell. They have done things we have never done. They have been places we've never been, and seen things that we've never seen. They are time travelers! 

I encourage you all to reach out to the elderly around you. If you are a parent, teach your children to appreciate the older generations. It may seem scary at first to your child, but increase the time your children are around the elderly and your child will grow more comfortable. Let your child ask questions. Talk to them about why some of these people are in wheelchairs and beds, or why some are forgetful. 

Here are more ways to encourage interaction with the senior members of our community:

– If you will see older members of your family for the holidays, sit with your children beforehand and brainstorm questions to ask. Then you can record or video the interview. (Homeschooling families, reuse the interview as a writing assignment later!)

– Go Christmas caroling at a local senior care home. As you sing, shake or touch the residents' hands.

– Invite a senior neighbor or member of your church body to have Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with your family. Many widows and widowers are alone on those special holidays.

– Adopt a grandparent! If your children's grandparents are no longer living, choose another elderly person (or couple) and treat them as you would your own parents!

I remember going on a field trip in the fifth grade to an assisted living facility. In pairs, we had to interview a resident of the home and write a short paper on the person. I was nervous and scared because it was my first time sitting with an older person and asking direct questions (and my first time eating a bagel… with cream cheese!… but that's besides the point…), and to this day, I love being with seniors. Next week, I am bringing my ninety-three-year-old friend to the veterans' dinner at my church. I can't wait to meet more amazing people and hear the many stories that will fill that room!

Halloween… Cheer?

I am feeling confused tonight.

Home are lit up.

Neighbors are opening their doors to strangers.

I hear children laughing and adults chatting.

People are out strolling, enjoying the cooling evening air.

It's the only night you'll see this in my neighborhood. Despite the skeletons, grave yards, and witches decorating some front lawns, there was a definite feeling of community and joy in the air tonight. Why? I want to know. Are people united by the traditions of dressing up and carving jack-o-lanterns? Do adults love seeing cute children on their front porch and hearing their little voices say "Twick-o-tweat"? Is it the beautiful autumn season? What is the source of this jubilation, on a holiday that is associated with dead and scary things and has no message of hope or happiness… or anything, for that matter?

I feel that if I could answer these questions, I could bring back the cheer that was once associated with Christmas. Then on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day we would hear song and laughter fill our streets. Neighbors would visit each other with gifts. Windows would all be aglow with lights. Hope would unite us and joy would overflow from every person.

But, how to do this?

Intentionality, One Step Further

My husband was cleaning off the desk (the one that I never use when I'm writing) and he came upon a box of photos from my college days. Mixed in with my graduation pictures were a few photos of my French students from my first year of teaching. I sat for a while, taking the time to study the faces before me. Though I couldn't remember the names of every one of my students, I found myself wishing I knew what they were all up to now.

Then one face in particular caught my eye. He was an eight-grader at the time, a young, smiling young man who ended up taking French with me for the next two years. When I ran into him at a grocery store earlier this year, he told me, "You were the best French teacher I ever had."

But what if I knew then what I know now, that he would one day graduate from college, get married, dream of becoming a father, only to lose the baby and suffer through a divorce as well? What would I have said to him then, apart from the French lessons, if I knew of the pain that lay ahead of him? Would I have been MORE intentional with him? Would I have been more intentional with all my students?

The fact is that I was being intentional, but my intent was to be the best French teacher I could be. What I didn't do was go BEYOND my usual level of intentionality by ask God for His intentions for me while I was at the school. Sadly, my purposes were not always the same as His. And sometimes, that is still the case today. 

I must remember that though the word 'intentional' and 'intended' are related, just because I say I am living intentionally doesn't mean that I am living the life God intended for me. If I am not seeking God's purpose for my life, I can easily substitute my own intentions for God's and live the life I intend for myself. When I strive to live intentionally, I must take my intentionality one step further by seeking to live NOT according to the purpose I feel is best, but the one that God has given me.

What is surprising to me is that this is kind of intentionality does not equate busyness. Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, "For my yoke is easy, my burden is light" (which, by the way, is our theme verse for this school year). A teacher can work non-stop to fill his/her classroom with activity and learning, but God's purpose for the teacher may be to take some time at lunch to put down the red pen and listen to a student. A parent can sign up his/her child for as many enrichment classes as the child can handle, but God's purpose for the parent may be to teach the child to rest by modeling rest. For me, being an active, "busy" sort of person, this has been a recent lesson: Seek God's purpose in things great and small, knowing that it may not take the form that you expect.

So, when I write "Parents, be intentional with your children", I don't mean that parents need to do more. Rather, they need seek God's greater purpose in all that they do, from diapers to disciplining. If they find that they are pushing their child to succeed only for their own sense of worth, then they need to pull back. If they rely too much on teachers (in regular school, Sunday school, etc.) to teach and "raise" their child, then they need to do more.

It's the difference between dropping off cookies at a neighbor's house versus asking the neighbor about his/her troubles. Or cooking for a spouse versus encouraging the spouse to grow in Christ's love by being forgiving and gracious. Or being a reliable employee versus being an employee who brings joy and peace to the work place.

You can call it God-given intentionality, God-driven intentionality, God-centered intentionality… whatever you call it, the point is:

How can YOU take your intentionality one step further today?

Eleven Years

It is the day I have been waiting for. My daughter turns eleven in two days. I can hardly believe that the past eleven years have flown by so quickly, and now, it is time.

I ask my daughter what she would like to get for a tasty treat. 

"Ice cream," she answers.

Easy. Off to Coldstone we go. We savor each bite as we chat about sour gummy candies freezing in ice cream and why 7-11 is called 7-11.

Then, off to the next location. I drive around and look for a secluded, park-like setting. Finding one near the local feed and grain store, we park and walk to the benches under the hanging vines. I hand my daughter her birthday present. Then I begin.

It isn't difficult at all. Since my husband and I have already brought up the subject of puberty with our two oldest children, all I need to do is remind my daughter of our previous conversations. Then I add the part I have been rehearsing in my head for years, the part about menstruation and bras and how these things will affect her life.

"Do you have any questions?" I ask her at the end.

She smiles a little and shakes her head no as she returns her new book and underwear to the gift bag.

"Thank you," she says quietly. 

Her reserved response catches me off guard at first. It is not often that I see my loud, enthusiastic, "cheerleader" girl so subdued. But I see the pensive, yet relieved, look on her face and I understand her completely. I was feeling the burden of parenting while she was feeling the burden of growing up, but in sharing this with her, we are now carrying the burdens together. My daughter will not face the mysteries of growing up by herself, and I will not wonder and worry about her as she meets these new challenges. I have her trust, and we have communication. That was my goal, and the best birthday present I knew that I could give her.

Before we head for home, I hug my daughter and tell her that I love her. I also commend her for growing into an extraordinary young lady. She blushes, still the sweet little girl who is not used to hearing such words.

Oh, how quickly eleven years have come and gone!


(For those of you who are wondering, the book I gave my daughter was The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls by Valerie Schaefer. It is published by American Girl, not a Christian publisher, but it covers the basic important changes in a young girl's body in a direct and gentle way. Find it used on abebooks.com (no shipping costs!) by clicking here or on amazon.com by clicking here.)

Slipping Through Our Fingers

My kids were watching a DVD from the library, 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" I still love it when Charlie Brown looks in his trick-or-treat bag and sighs, "I got a rock."

I grew up watching that cartoon. It was our annual tradition. We looked forward to it because we knew that around Halloween, that would be the only time the TV channel would broadcast it.

Like Christmas specials at Christmas time.

And Saturday morning cartoons on Saturday mornings.

We had to wait for it.

As I see more and more children with their own iPhones (I don't know how any parent can afford that!) or pocket video-games-DVD-player-thingamabobs, the children so engrossed that they cannot stop even when they are walking, I have this growing sense that we are losing something intangible and valuable with this generation. It's something that I myself will never fully understand, because I grew up with videos, microwaves, and basic computers. But it's slipping through our fingers. And we don't even know it.

There are many things I could say to parents out there, but I won't. This is all I'm going to say:

Think before you choose your default setting of entertaining your child with the TV or smart phone, or when you feel the inclination to buy your child a new gadget. Look past the immediate gratification and try to grasp the repercussions down the road. Be intentional with your children.