Today is our church's annual Fourth of July picnic. Normally, large gatherings like this make me cringe. I feel nervous around people I don't know and overwhelmed when there are so many individuals and so many conversations. And in a crowd, it is easy for me to hide and just avoid talking to people all together.
I've learned that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Some people give excuses and stay home from these kinds of church events. Some come and sit only with their family, unsure of how to reach out to meet new people. And I see few people going over to invite them to sit with them or to play volleyball, maybe because they too are fearful and feel awkward about "breaking the ice". It is natural to want to stay comfortably within your own social circle.
But we are family– the family of God! In John 17, Jesus prays this for us: I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. We should be reaching out to include everyone, even if it feels unnatural!
But we are family– the family of God! In John 17, Jesus prays this for us: I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. We should be reaching out to include everyone, even if it feels unnatural!
So, push aside your fear! If you too want to do what comes unnaturally (which, by the way, is a play-on words. "Doing What Comes Naturally" is a song from the musical "Annie Get Your Gun"), here are the steps that I go through:
1) Prepare mentally
When I attend large events such as the women's brunch or the church camping trip, I give myself a mission: to seek out those who need a friend. I still connect with old friends, but I don't give myself any excuses to not go up to a new person and simply say "hi!" Sometimes, the person who needs a friend is someone I already know. My goal is to love on anyone who needs it, so no one will feel excluded. (And here's a tip: I do this for Sunday mornings too. My church is big enough that newcomers can slip in and out if no one makes the effort to reach out to them.)
2) Pray
Once, when I was fairly new to my church, I was at a women's retreat. I did not know anyone really well, and as I wandered from room to room, I noticed that most of the women were already settled into conversation with their friends. So I grabbed my crochet project, found a quiet but central place and began to pray that God would send to me that woman that He would like me to meet. After a few minutes, a woman with a knitting project came and asked if she could sit with me. And that's how I met my friend Beth!
3) Think of questions to ask
Conversations don't need to be awkward. Start with introductions, and move on from there with the questions you have prepared. Remember, you already have something in common– Christ! And if your new friends are not Christians, try some of these questions:
How did you and your husband meet?
Do you have any tips for parents?
Tell me your life story.
What are your hobbies?
How long have you lived in the area?
What's your favorite type of cuisine?
Do you like to read?
Do you like movies?
Have you traveled internationally?
Usually, it doesn't take long to discover that you DO have something in common!
Okay, it's almost 4pm. Time to go to the picnic! I hope I make a new friend today!
No comments:
Post a Comment