Thankful, Not Entitled

"You deserve it!"

All my life, I've heard this from advertisements, movies, TV shows, and well-meaning folk. I've heard it so much that now there is a voice in my head yelling it whenever I feel someone has wronged me somehow. Just this past week, after nights of coughing and bad sleep, I was impatient and grumbly with my family because I kept thinking, "I deserve a break! I deserve help! I deserve people listening to me with no question because I am sick!" Not to mention all the times when I am perfectly healthy but feel that "I deserve recognition" or "I deserve a better present" or "I deserve a nicer house."

But here's the truth: I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything at all.

A mother loses a child. A wife loses a husband. A girl finds out she has cancer. A family loses their house. I have my children, my husband, my health, and my house. Did I do anything to deserve this? No, I am not anymore deserving than any other woman.

An attitude of entitlement is the opposite of a heart of thanksgiving. Telling myself that I deserve something, no matter how big or small that something is, only raises my expectations that people should give me what I want, and this breeds discontent, pride, and bitterness. I cannot be thankful if I don't receive everything as a gift.

And so this year, as Thanksgiving Day comes again, I am working on quieting that voice in my head in order to cultivate my heard of thankfulness. Instead of "I deserve", I tell myself "Be thankful." Be thankful for a husband who shows you love everyday, be thankful for children who are growing and learning, be thankful for a body that works with minimal pain, be thankful for a warm, safe home. 

And even if tomorrow I lose what I hold most dearly, God has given me the gift of His love and His mercy, which I can never, ever deserve. God has given me more gifts than I could have ever imagined: my family, my friends, and new mercies everyday.