7 Ways to Make Every Day More Romantic

1) Share the story of how you met, and share it often. Share it with your children. Share it with your friends. Share it with other couples. Then ask the couple how they met!

2) Speak highly of your spouse. Compliment your spouse in front of him/her AND when he/she is not around. Praise your spouse in front of your children, your family, your neighbors, your co-workers.

3) Don't speak poorly of your spouse when he/she is not around. Praising your spouse one minute, then putting him/her down the next, does not build up your marriage.

4) Surprise your spouse with little things. Leave a note under the pillow. Do a chore that your spouse usually does. Bring home a treat when you have a chance to go out.

5) Hold hands. Sometimes, if your hands are full with children, chores,  and activities, the only time you have to hold hands is when you are lying wearily in bed together. But even so, you are making a connection, both physical and emotional.

6) Put down the phone and talk. You and your spouse may be sitting in the same room, but if you're looking at screens, then you're not really together. Turn off the computer, the TV, the phone, etc.

7) Be the first to say "I'm sorry." By this, I don't mean kowtowing and saying "Yes, yes, you're right, I'm wrong" all the time. After a disagreement or argument, ask yourself, "Was I unkind at all?" Maybe you yelled, or used a sarcastic tone, or were accusatory. Apologize for your wrong actions.

Growth

During a piano lesson one day, I was thinking about recitals and how far each of my students have come, when I recalled an incident from my years as a high school teacher.

It was my second year of teaching and I had been put in charge of the musical performances for graduation. No big deal. At the small private school I was teaching, I knew each senior by name and already knew who the strong singers were.

Then a senior named Kate approached me. She was friendly, gentle and kind, a girl who was content to be in the background. A quiet leader, I called her. She was a great role model in her class, and though not considered one of the "popular" students, she was loved by all. She had been doing some singing with me, and when she asked if she could sing at graduation, I said enthusiastically, "Yes!" She wasn't a strong singer, but I didn't make my decision based on that; I made it based on her character.

And then it was my job to stand up for my decision. With barely two years of experience under my belt, some other teachers felt that I shouldn't have made that call, but I stood by Kate. I knew how she'd grown the past year. I knew the courage it took for her to even get up on a stage. I knew that the song she was singing may not sound as good as some other girl singing it, but it would have more meaning. 

We still live in a culture that pressures us to look a certain way or act a certain way. We see photos of "the rich and famous" and aspire to be like them. We want to impress people, or we want our children to impress people. We compare, measure, and compare some more. But-

it is not the face you show the world for 5 minutes that counts,

it's who you are consistently when no one is watching.

it's not always the end goal that matters most,

it's also the journey you took to get there.

Growth is not looking at a tree and saying, "Wow! Look how tall it is!"

Growth is looking at a tree and saying, "Wow! That used to be a tiny seed! Look how tall it's become!"