On Speaking Up

As a child, I was taught to "honor my parents." Which, in Sunday school terms, was translated to "obey your parents." And my parents definitely stressed the "obey." Obey without questions. Obey without giving your side of the story. Obey obey obey. By the time I was a college student, I had learned to follow the rules, keep my opinions to myself, and to doubt my own judgement.

I started my classes at UC Berkeley as the quiet "A" student who never said a word in class discussions. One day at the end of my education class, the teacher took me aside. 

"Rita, you should speak up. You have great thoughts to share!" she said.

Those words got me thinking. 

Flash forward thirty years.

I'm now a pastor's wife, and I'm content to be working "behind the scenes." But I have also pushed myself to speak up – to express myself and share my ideas and to point out wrong – when I need to. In my roles as wife and mother, this is crucial. Even my husband needs correction sometimes (don't we all?), and I cannot stand by silently in those situations.

Why am I writing this? Rita, get to the point! you're thinking.

Here's the point, and this may make some of you uncomfortable: Don't blindly follow and obey just because someone is in a position of authority. 

I'm talking to wives who are told to obey their husbands no matter what.

I'm talking to employees who see their bosses doing immoral things and are afraid to lose their jobs so they go along with it.

I'm talking to congregants who disagree with their church leaders, but push those itches aside because they figure "this person is a man of God."

I'm talking to citizens of this country who are saddened by what they see in our government right now.

A few years ago, I had to confront a church leader about things he was doing that I felt were hurting our church family. This was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But now I'm so glad I said something. This leader, instead of choosing to dialogue about the situation, accused me of sinning against him, which, in my opinion, only reveals a proud "I'm-always-right" spirit that is not what I want to see in a leader. He then resigned and left on his own accord.

No person is above God. It's as simple as that. So speak up.