More on Modesty

As mentioned before, my husband was reading A Return to Modesty, by Wendy Shalit. I am only one-third of the way through (given that the only time I have to sit down and read is when I nurse the baby at night), but I want to share a few thoughts with you now, so that I don't overwhelm you with information later.

Modesty in ages past wasn't just about covering your body ("Oh, your ankle is showing, how scandalous!") It was about respect for women as the weaker sex, and protecting their bodies as well as their hearts. And the author, when she writes about modesty, is also talking about reserving oneself for marriage. The two go hand in hand.

But how can we convey that, if girls are being taught through movies, TV, books, music, and schools that sleeping around is normal? That romance and commitment are passé? That girls can show nearly their whole body (and some DO reveal all in magazines), but still demand that men don't ogle and whistle and treat them as objects?  In removing modesty, we have removed the protection that women of all ages need. The underlying assumption now is that casual sex is good for everyone, and that sexual experience is a sign of wisdom, maturity, and sophistication.

What we need is a full-throttle reversal in social values, but in the meantime, on my recommendation, find out about the sex ed program in your child's school, and remove your child from it if you can. More and more schools are starting sex ed at a younger age. Some show 'how-to' videos (basically, pornography in a classroom), and not only give out condoms, but have girls practice putting them on a boy's finger. (If there isn't anything more embarrassing or disgusting for a young girl, I don't know what that is.) And school administrators wonder why rape, pregnancy, anorexia/bulimia, and sexual harassment in junior and senior high schools are on the rise.

Also, teach your children, sons as well as daughters, that men are protectors of women, and that women was designed by God to be different from men and weaker in some ways. Modesty in dress is a reminder of that. By dressing conservatively, a girl shows respect for herself, higher expectations from members of the opposite sex, and strength to be a leader, rather than a follower (not wearing certain clothes just because it was in style).

There is more to say, but I will save it for another post. If you are thinking of reading the book, I have found nothing objectionable so far. The author is Jewish (that is where she first learned about the lost virtue of modesty) and quotes scripture (new Testament as well as Old) in some chapters.