The Years Are Short

My husband and eldest son left today for our church's men's retreat. What makes this retreat unique is that the men will be fellowshipping and encouraging each other while working alongside each other, fixing up the ranch that is our church's main retreat center.

It's the first time I've felt the pang of my son's growing up. I've been preparing myself for it, whenever I dropped him off at a sleepover, watched him mow the lawn, listened to him talk about his new interests. But, like giving birth for the first time, nothing can really prepare you for that day.

It's true, the saying: The days are long but the years are short.

I remember how my son grew in me, and how it felt so natural when he was born to love him and care for him. I remember teaching him to walk, to talk, to ride a tricycle. I remember the day he had surgery, and how nervous I was, and the day a kid at the park bullied him, and I watched with pride as he fought back his tears and stood his ground. And I remember when he accepted Jesus, and made choices like getting rid of his Pokemon cards and reading better books. And I remember the times I didn't know how to connect with him, how to teach him, how to reason with him, or how to make him laugh. 

How gracious God has been, to lead us to this point in life, because there is so much that depends on trusting God wholly. Like I shared in my last post, you can only do so much as a parent. How much control do we have? When a day goes well, I'm only fooling myself into believing that I have a hold on life. 

These are the best things: pray, obey, and trust. Wherever we are lacking (which is everywhere for me), He fills in the gaps. In fact, He fills in MORE than the gaps. And I am so thankful that He does.

This is my newest song, inspired by my children. May the words be an encouragement to you, fellow mothers and fathers.

At the break of dawn

There are growling stomachs 
And hungry mouths to feed

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner

I'm working in the kitchen

Day in, day out

Clothes are dirty once again

They don't stop spinning round and round

They spin round and round

Messes made on every surface, mop and wipe

Day in, day out

When my eyes are open, I see the bigger picture

When my eyes are open, I see the bigger me

Once so small and helpless,

Then in the blink of an eye, they're talking

And running through the house

In the midst of teaching

There are reasons to laugh

Joy in, joy out

Lessons change as they grow

Deeper talk of deeper things

It's much harder now
Oh so much harder now

Shaping women and men from these girls and boys

Grace in, grace out

When my eyes are open, I see the little details

When my eyes are open, I see their little hearts

Shouting matches, hurtful words

Angry tears, bitter pouts

I am on my knees praying to my Father

Love in, love out

Open my eyes to see the bigger picture

Open my eyes to see the bigger me

Open my eyes to see the little details

Open my eyes to see their little hearts

Day in, day out