When it comes to Facebook, one of my worst habits is looking up people from my past and spying… I mean, uh, seeing… what they are up to now. I like knowing that most of them have 'settled' and started a family, but the green-eyed monster in me threatens to emerge when I discover that some have 'made it' in Hollywood, or have published works, or is enjoying a successful career in music, or have forgone family life to pursue business and world travel.
If I can make sacrifices, why can't they?! I want to know.
Then I remind myself of the moment I stood at the crossroads of my life, and why I chose the road I did. After graduating with a degree in music, I looked for jobs in my field. Through certain connections, I was able to piece together work as a piano teacher, a choral accompanist, a performer in senior care homes, with weddings and such things on the side. But even in the midst of doing what I set out to do, I was discontent. I felt that I had degraded music to wallpaper (meaning playing while no one is really listening) and a paycheck. I was frustrated with teaching children who didn't want to learn. And most of all, I hated my hours. I worked afternoons, evenings, and weekends, and I missed seeing my friends and family (most of whom worked normal 9-5 hours) and I knew that I would have a hard time raising a family on that schedule in the future.
I have always thought that the Israelites must have been fairly dense to complain to Moses after years of back-breaking slavery and witnessing miracles like the Red Sea parting and manna appearing, but… well… now I can see how Egypt seemed like a vacation compared to walking day after day through the barren desert. Human memories and hearts are fickle. Fourteen years ago, I knew without a doubt that I would not be content as a professional musician. Now, performing and traveling seems so attractive in the midst of homemaking. But I am only seeing a sliver of the picture. I don't know what else is going on in the lives of these people who look so happy on Facebook. And really, apart from God, all the money and manna in the world cannot provide contentment. And once I chose to follow His dreams for me, I found a deeper joy. I became a French teacher, I met my husband, I joined a band-- all of which leads me to where I am today.
Contentment does not mean attaining the life you always dreamed of. Contentment is following God into the desert, with only the promise of the Promised Land. And sometimes it's realizing that you are already in the Promised Land… it just doesn't look the way you expected it to.
If you are struggling with contentment while in the midst of the desert, listen to this song by Sara Groves. For some reason, I could not put the video on the blog, but click below for the link to Youtube. I hope you will be encouraged.
Painting Pictures of Egypt
I have always thought that the Israelites must have been fairly dense to complain to Moses after years of back-breaking slavery and witnessing miracles like the Red Sea parting and manna appearing, but… well… now I can see how Egypt seemed like a vacation compared to walking day after day through the barren desert. Human memories and hearts are fickle. Fourteen years ago, I knew without a doubt that I would not be content as a professional musician. Now, performing and traveling seems so attractive in the midst of homemaking. But I am only seeing a sliver of the picture. I don't know what else is going on in the lives of these people who look so happy on Facebook. And really, apart from God, all the money and manna in the world cannot provide contentment. And once I chose to follow His dreams for me, I found a deeper joy. I became a French teacher, I met my husband, I joined a band-- all of which leads me to where I am today.
Contentment does not mean attaining the life you always dreamed of. Contentment is following God into the desert, with only the promise of the Promised Land. And sometimes it's realizing that you are already in the Promised Land… it just doesn't look the way you expected it to.
If you are struggling with contentment while in the midst of the desert, listen to this song by Sara Groves. For some reason, I could not put the video on the blog, but click below for the link to Youtube. I hope you will be encouraged.
Painting Pictures of Egypt
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