Okay, I'm not so good with acronyms.
P.W.W.Y.C. stands for Pastor's Wives With Young Children. I couldn't think of any other way to say it. If you have an idea, feel free to share it with me!
But first, let me tell you how I got the idea for this post.
A few years back, when my family first started attending our church, I was looking for moms with whom to connect. It wasn't difficult, since our church has a MOPS group and plenty of homeschooling families, but there were two moms in particular that I wanted to get to know because I thought we would have much in common. One was the wife of the music pastor, and the other was the wife of the junior high pastor.
But all my attempts seemed to fail. I would see them in the hall, and say 'hi' but they wouldn't stop to talk. I tried to invite them over for dinner, but somehow our schedules wouldn't work. I thought maybe they just weren't interested, or had too much to do, or whatever, but I NEVER thought that it was because they were P.W.W.Y.C.
Now that I'm a pastor's wife myself I know what it is like to be in their shoes. On Sundays, my husband leaves around 7am or 8am, depending on what he has going on that morning. I make breakfast (or put cereal in bowls) and herd all my children into their clothes and out the door in time (or not) for the 9am service. Once at church, we park and walk like a line of ducks across the busy parking lot to the church building, where then I have to drop each of the younger children off at his/her classroom. Sometimes my 4-year-old clings to me and screams because he doesn't want to go. So either I spend a few minutes convincing him, or just allow him to join me in the service. Finally, I make it into the sanctuary and look around for a seat. After the service, I round up my children again, and do the duck walk back to the car. I might have caught a glimpse of my husband somewhere in there.
When I first became a pastor's wife, I hated Sunday mornings. I missed my husband. I missed having a calm and peaceful Sunday morning. If one child was sick, I stayed home with all the kids. I asked my sister-in-law (also a pastor's wife) if that was what Sundays were like for her, and she said, "Yep. You're lucky if you make it to service twice in a month." Sundays, what had been a day of rest, had become a work day for our family.
The other P.W.W.Y.C. are in the same boat as me, but at least I have older children to help me out and 10+ years of experience as a mom to fall back on. When I tried to talk to these other moms, they seemed distracted, because they were-- trying to keep track of their children in a busy hall. I'm sure I'm the same way! They sometimes seemed frazzle, probably because they had a rough morning, or a late night doing some ministry project, but still somehow made it to church. P.W.W.Y.C. have mornings when they would rather stay home from church, but feel the need to go anyway (at least I do). They love supporting their husbands' work (and many of them would never trade ministry for another line of work), but they are up at nights with their children, or work part-time to help make ends meet, AND still strive to make time to do their own ministry.
So if you have a P.W.W.Y.C. in your church, see what you can do to help her out. It can be as simple as supporting her as she is learning about herself as a new mom, or trying one of these:
1) Get to know them outside of church.
It is easy to assume certain things about a pastor's wife. But do you know what her hobbies are? Do you know if she is part of a Bible study? Does she have family in the area? How is she adjusting to her role as a P.W.? Invite the family over for dinner or lunch.
2) Offer them help in the parking lot.
Many P.W.s are "single moms" on Sunday mornings. Who knows what it took for them to make it even to the church parking lot! So if you see a P.W. trying to carry an infant carseat and walk a toddler from the car to the church front door, don't hesitate to help them on the last leg of their journey!
3) Offer them a seat next to you on Sundays.
Again, with their husbands either teaching, or leading music, or serving somewhere else in the church building, P.W.s don't often sit with their husbands in service. If there is an empty seat next to you, let them know.
4) Offer to babysit.
This is especially important if the pastor and P.W. have no relatives in the area to help them out. Once you've establish a good relationship with your P.W. and her family, I doubt she'll turn down a babysitting offer. Some P.W.s would love a chance to have some quiet time alone, or an hour to join a Bible study. And of course, date night is never a bad idea! Support their marriage by giving the couple a break from their young children to reconnect over dinner at a nice restaurant.
5) Pray for them.
Ministry is never 9-5. Any set church ministry hours are usually on weekends or in the evenings. Then there is all the ministry that is not set: counseling people, preparing for teaching and training, studying the Word. Pastors NEVER leave their work at the office; they carry it in their hearts. And for pastors with young children, this means learning to balance work with family time. Pastors are not immune to overworking, divorce, or neglecting their children. They desperately need prayer to keep their families strong.
P.W.W.Y.C. stands for Pastor's Wives With Young Children. I couldn't think of any other way to say it. If you have an idea, feel free to share it with me!
But first, let me tell you how I got the idea for this post.
A few years back, when my family first started attending our church, I was looking for moms with whom to connect. It wasn't difficult, since our church has a MOPS group and plenty of homeschooling families, but there were two moms in particular that I wanted to get to know because I thought we would have much in common. One was the wife of the music pastor, and the other was the wife of the junior high pastor.
But all my attempts seemed to fail. I would see them in the hall, and say 'hi' but they wouldn't stop to talk. I tried to invite them over for dinner, but somehow our schedules wouldn't work. I thought maybe they just weren't interested, or had too much to do, or whatever, but I NEVER thought that it was because they were P.W.W.Y.C.
Now that I'm a pastor's wife myself I know what it is like to be in their shoes. On Sundays, my husband leaves around 7am or 8am, depending on what he has going on that morning. I make breakfast (or put cereal in bowls) and herd all my children into their clothes and out the door in time (or not) for the 9am service. Once at church, we park and walk like a line of ducks across the busy parking lot to the church building, where then I have to drop each of the younger children off at his/her classroom. Sometimes my 4-year-old clings to me and screams because he doesn't want to go. So either I spend a few minutes convincing him, or just allow him to join me in the service. Finally, I make it into the sanctuary and look around for a seat. After the service, I round up my children again, and do the duck walk back to the car. I might have caught a glimpse of my husband somewhere in there.
When I first became a pastor's wife, I hated Sunday mornings. I missed my husband. I missed having a calm and peaceful Sunday morning. If one child was sick, I stayed home with all the kids. I asked my sister-in-law (also a pastor's wife) if that was what Sundays were like for her, and she said, "Yep. You're lucky if you make it to service twice in a month." Sundays, what had been a day of rest, had become a work day for our family.
The other P.W.W.Y.C. are in the same boat as me, but at least I have older children to help me out and 10+ years of experience as a mom to fall back on. When I tried to talk to these other moms, they seemed distracted, because they were-- trying to keep track of their children in a busy hall. I'm sure I'm the same way! They sometimes seemed frazzle, probably because they had a rough morning, or a late night doing some ministry project, but still somehow made it to church. P.W.W.Y.C. have mornings when they would rather stay home from church, but feel the need to go anyway (at least I do). They love supporting their husbands' work (and many of them would never trade ministry for another line of work), but they are up at nights with their children, or work part-time to help make ends meet, AND still strive to make time to do their own ministry.
So if you have a P.W.W.Y.C. in your church, see what you can do to help her out. It can be as simple as supporting her as she is learning about herself as a new mom, or trying one of these:
1) Get to know them outside of church.
It is easy to assume certain things about a pastor's wife. But do you know what her hobbies are? Do you know if she is part of a Bible study? Does she have family in the area? How is she adjusting to her role as a P.W.? Invite the family over for dinner or lunch.
2) Offer them help in the parking lot.
Many P.W.s are "single moms" on Sunday mornings. Who knows what it took for them to make it even to the church parking lot! So if you see a P.W. trying to carry an infant carseat and walk a toddler from the car to the church front door, don't hesitate to help them on the last leg of their journey!
3) Offer them a seat next to you on Sundays.
Again, with their husbands either teaching, or leading music, or serving somewhere else in the church building, P.W.s don't often sit with their husbands in service. If there is an empty seat next to you, let them know.
4) Offer to babysit.
This is especially important if the pastor and P.W. have no relatives in the area to help them out. Once you've establish a good relationship with your P.W. and her family, I doubt she'll turn down a babysitting offer. Some P.W.s would love a chance to have some quiet time alone, or an hour to join a Bible study. And of course, date night is never a bad idea! Support their marriage by giving the couple a break from their young children to reconnect over dinner at a nice restaurant.
5) Pray for them.
Ministry is never 9-5. Any set church ministry hours are usually on weekends or in the evenings. Then there is all the ministry that is not set: counseling people, preparing for teaching and training, studying the Word. Pastors NEVER leave their work at the office; they carry it in their hearts. And for pastors with young children, this means learning to balance work with family time. Pastors are not immune to overworking, divorce, or neglecting their children. They desperately need prayer to keep their families strong.
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