When I die, I'd like people to say, "Rita was a person of great faith."
But what does a person of great faith look like?
Certainly, not like me.
When I think of a person of great faith, I picture Esther, approaching the king, ready to do whatever it takes to save her people.
But me? I avoid conflict. I have a hard time doing or saying anything that might cause people to not like me.
Or I picture the boy David, armed with only a sling and a rock, facing a giant trained to kill.
A giant! And David was sure that he would win! Me? I wouldn't be so sure. I'd probably be hiding with David's brothers. I like safety. I like certainty. I like comfort.
On most days, I don't feel like a person of great faith. I don't feel like a fountain of faith is flowing from my innards. I think about my dad and his cancer, and my friend whose baby was recently diagnosed with a life-threatening anemia, and I don't feel strong. Instead, I feel helpless. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I wish my faith was great enough to give me the confidence to say, "Yes, God can defeat that giant!"
So, what do I do? I do what I do everyday- take care of my family, call my dad, cook for some people, visit my friend. I try not to think too much about the future, the Great Unknown. I wait for waves of strength and courage to wash over me, for the times when I feel like a person of great faith, times when I might do something more than what I do everyday. Then maybe I'll have the answers. Then maybe I'll be outspoken. Then maybe...
But guess what? Jesus said, "If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you." (Luke 17:6)
Jesus said that it doesn't take a mountain of faith. It takes one grain. Not a fountain. Just one drop.
But it also takes action. I have to move. I have to say 'Be uprooted' to the tree. I have to act on my little faith.
Jesus also said, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)
Ask, seek, knock… faith isn't a feeling; it's an action. I don't have to feel faithful. I don't need to feel brave. It's okay if I feel afraid, as long as I am acting in faith. Even if I take only one step in the right direction. Even if I can only whisper a prayer. Even if I am doing what I already do everyday by taking care of my children, calling my dad, cooking for some people, and visiting my friend. If I am obeying God, I am a person of faith.
I'd like to revise my original statement. When I die, I don't want people to say, "Rita was a person of great faith." I'd like them to say, "Rita was a person of little faith, who learned to obey God, one step at a time. And that is how, through her, God was able to do great things."
Certainly, not like me.
When I think of a person of great faith, I picture Esther, approaching the king, ready to do whatever it takes to save her people.
But me? I avoid conflict. I have a hard time doing or saying anything that might cause people to not like me.
Or I picture the boy David, armed with only a sling and a rock, facing a giant trained to kill.
A giant! And David was sure that he would win! Me? I wouldn't be so sure. I'd probably be hiding with David's brothers. I like safety. I like certainty. I like comfort.
On most days, I don't feel like a person of great faith. I don't feel like a fountain of faith is flowing from my innards. I think about my dad and his cancer, and my friend whose baby was recently diagnosed with a life-threatening anemia, and I don't feel strong. Instead, I feel helpless. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I wish my faith was great enough to give me the confidence to say, "Yes, God can defeat that giant!"
So, what do I do? I do what I do everyday- take care of my family, call my dad, cook for some people, visit my friend. I try not to think too much about the future, the Great Unknown. I wait for waves of strength and courage to wash over me, for the times when I feel like a person of great faith, times when I might do something more than what I do everyday. Then maybe I'll have the answers. Then maybe I'll be outspoken. Then maybe...
But guess what? Jesus said, "If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you." (Luke 17:6)
Jesus said that it doesn't take a mountain of faith. It takes one grain. Not a fountain. Just one drop.
But it also takes action. I have to move. I have to say 'Be uprooted' to the tree. I have to act on my little faith.
Jesus also said, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)
Ask, seek, knock… faith isn't a feeling; it's an action. I don't have to feel faithful. I don't need to feel brave. It's okay if I feel afraid, as long as I am acting in faith. Even if I take only one step in the right direction. Even if I can only whisper a prayer. Even if I am doing what I already do everyday by taking care of my children, calling my dad, cooking for some people, and visiting my friend. If I am obeying God, I am a person of faith.
I'd like to revise my original statement. When I die, I don't want people to say, "Rita was a person of great faith." I'd like them to say, "Rita was a person of little faith, who learned to obey God, one step at a time. And that is how, through her, God was able to do great things."
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