Popping the Bubble

Over the years, I had found that being a homeschooling mom who works from home and whose husband is a pastor means that my world can be very small. If you draw a Venn diagram of my friends and acquaintences, it would look more like one big circle instead of several overlapping circles.

Sheltering in place with Covid has not helped. The longer I stay home, the easier it gets to ignore the world around me and focus on my own little bubble of happiness.

Then recently, my family joined our church for an outdoor evening service. It felt a little strange at first, sitting in the parking lot, on a lawn chair, in a chalk-drawn circle, singing with masks on. But I started looking around me.

And this is what I saw: what used to be done inside a building, behind walls and out of sight, was now being done in the open. People were gathered, singing and praying together. Everyone who drove by, biked by, walked by, or flew by could see us worshipping God. They could see me worshipping God! I was always shy about worshiping and praying in public, even when inside with people I know, and now I was doing it outside.

If nothing else, Covid has brought God's people all around our country out of their buildings. And I hope that we are doing more than just singing in parking lots. Let's get out of our bubbles! What can you do today?

Though this is not my home...

I apologize for not having written since... June?! Has it been that long?!

If it helps at all, I started a post in July, then put it on hold. AND I've been using my quarantine time to finish my new book, which I hope will be available to you al before the end of the year!

Other projects I've been doing during this time are:

-making cards for residents at the nearby assisted living facility

-trying new recipes, like ube ice cream (yum!)

-doing crafts with the kids

-reading stories to the kids and teaching my five-year-old to read

And just yesterday, I decided to landscape the front yard.

Now, those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that my family rent our home, and over the years, I've always had to tell myself, "Don't get too attached. You'll only be here for a few years."

This was partly for my own good. When I first got married, after having moved from house to house all my life, I dreamed of buying a home and living in it until I died. When our attempts to purchase a house failed several times, I had to let that dream go. God taught me that my home is not found in a location, but in the people in my life–my husband, my children, my friends, and my church.

But the down side of a "temporary" home is that I didn't want to invest in anything long term.

"Should I start a garden? Nah, we might have to move in the summer."

We always knew that the owners of this house plan to move in some day. When they deiced to chop down the only tree in the front yard, there wasn't anything I could do abut it. When the sprinkler system broke and the lawn died, I just thought, "Oh well." Every summer, when the lease-end date approached, I found it harder and harder to put my energy into the house.

Then this year, the owners gave us a two-year lease. And maybe it's because I'm feeling listless for the lock-down, or maybe I just grew tired of looking at my dead lawn, but I decided to beautify the front of the house. Even with only a few pots of fruit trees and bright flowers and several bags of mulch, I was able to make my brown yard into something colorful, cheery, and life-giving.

And here's the lesson I learned as I stepped back to look at the beautiful greenery:

Just because a home is temporary doesn't mean I shouldn't care. It's easier to be apathetic and do nothing, but I can add to the beauty, no matter where I am.

And that goes for my temporary home on earth too. There are days (especially in recent months) when I just want to say, "I don't care anymore." I know that life here is short and something better awaits for me. So why try to fix anything here on earth?

But God wants us to be His hands and feet here. He wants us to bring beauty and light to the world, though sometimes we would rather hide for the darkness. Even if I live to be 101, I want to always be doing what I can to share God's love and joy with others.

How can you add to the beauty today?

Is This What It's Like to Be Afraid of People?

I went shopping at Costco today, with my mask on, of course. As I was pushing my cart towards the rotisserie chickens (dinner for tonight), I noticed an older gentleman looking at me. 

No, he was staring at me.

I tried to give him a friendly smile, but that's hard to do, with a mask on.

He finally stopped looking at me and went back to his shopping, but it made me think, 

"What was going on in his mind?"

Was he thinking I was one of the Chinese responsible for bringing over the Coronavirus? Was he thinking I should go back to my country?

And once that thought was in my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if other shoppers saw me that way. They saw my black hair and dark eyes and yellow-toned skin and that was enough. Even if they caught the hint of a smile under my mask, it wouldn't matter to them. I was Chinese. Period.

But I was probably being overly dramatic. The man wasn't looking at me for more than a second; it just felt longer.

I continued with my shopping.

Then I passed an African-American woman. I tried to give her a small smile. Too late. She didn't see it. Or I mean, she didn't see my eyes crinkling in a friendly manner.

And what was she thinking then? That I didn't smile at her because I don't like African-Americans? That I looked down at her because of her skin color?

My mind couldn't stop. The next thing I knew, I was in a shopping cart traffic jam in the bread aisle.

Then I remembered about social distancing!

Did these people think I was being irresponsible? Were they mad because I wasn't keeping my distance? Did they want me to stay away?

Fortunately, at this point I ran into a friend from church. We started talking about his baby coming in July and baking bread at home. I forgot about the questions in my head and thought more about how to care for my friend and his family.

Fear can be contagious; it can spread through a crowd quicker than Covid-19. As I finished my shopping trip, I realized that I had had a glimpse of what it would be like to live in a world of fear, to be afraid of people–the very people that Jesus commands us to love.

"Love your neighbor" sounds easy when we talk about it from the comfort of our living rooms. If you asked me if I was a kind person, I would say "yes." But deep down, if I dare to admit it, loving my friend is one thing, while loving my enemy is a totally different thing.

Jesus doesn't see it as two different cases though. His love for a friend is the same as his love for an enemy.

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)

A neighbor may be your friend... or he may be your enemy.

My pastor asked this question last Sunday, "Which of these people would you help–a rioter? A first responder? A scared neighbor?"

It's good to ask ourselves these questions:

If someone spray painted nasty words on my store front, would I help this person if I saw him/her lying on the street?

If someone made threats against my family, would I still help this person if he/she was injured?

If a neighbor ignored me every day, would I still offer help when I saw him/her struggling with something?

Will I allow myself to be ruled by fear, or ruled by love?

Rejoice!

Renewed Joy in Serving

Serving in the church has been a part of my life since my childhood. Being the daughter of a pastor meant I was at church all the time. As soon as I was big enough, I was asked to help sweep, clean toys, and set up chairs. When my parents noticed my musical gifts and my love for children, I was asked to play piano and help in Sunday School. For the most part, I was always happy to help. As a young Christian entering my high school years, I continued to serve faithfully–every Sunday–because I was doing what I loved.

But then something changed in my college years. My dad planted a church. And I started serving for the wrong reasons. Sometimes I was filling a hole. Sometimes I enjoyed the attention and the praise. Sometimes I served because it was what I did on Sundays, like a job. I didn’t pray about how I should serve, or ask God to guide me. Soon, I grew weary, bitter, and discontent.

A decade later, married with young children and attending Valley Bible Church, I sat listening as Gary Darnell taught on Ephesians 4. I finally learned the purpose of serving: “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (v. 12). This image of “building up the body” is repeated in the chapter:

”Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

We are constantly bombarded with messages like “follow your heart”, “find your passion”, “do what makes you happy”. Previously I had fallen into the trap of chasing happiness by serving, happiness as the goal instead of a delightful outcome. But Christian joy in service comes when we partner with God in his care for his family, when we response to God’s message of grace and love. Maturing, we develop a deeper love for fellow brothers and sisters and for the Heavenly Father. As I grew in my faith, my original love for singing grew into a love to sing in order to bring people into a place of worship. My love for children and teaching grew into a love to unify the church through the Word and encourage the whole body to grow. 

I didn’t realize this growth in me until last year, when the pastor to women saw my love for hospitality and asked me to help with the women’s ministry Equip Day. I felt an urge to say “yes” because of this love. But I also hesitated because I didn’t want to fall into the old trap, to say “yes” just to fill a hole. And so I prayed and realized that to say “yes” would be to live in God’s will; it would be a way for me to encourage the body to grow. Though participating in Equip Day involved public speaking (something that I do not love), my greater desire to see the church body flourish empowered me to set aside my fear of public speaking.

Last week’s message in Romans 12 reminded me that my renewed joy in serving came when, through “sober judgment" (v.3) and a desire to benefit the body of Christ, I extended my gift of hospitality beyond simply doing something I love. God provided the “measure of faith” required to use my gift of hospitality to equip and build up my VBC family. And it was a joy!

(This post was originally published on Valley Bible Church's website, the VBC Blog.)