The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

A few days ago, my friend and fellow homeschooling mom Flo wrote something on her blog that just touched me. Her entry, titled "Messy Hands...needing a clean heart", shows a photo of someone's chubby but muddy hands and admits in complete honesty that her evil nature is destroying her home and the hearts of those she cherishes most. How difficult it is for us to see the plank in our own eyes!

I tell people that having children will quickly reveal the flaws in a person's character. I thought I was a patient person... until I become a mother. Homeschooling only adds to that, because you are dealing directly with your child around the clock. Homeschooling moms rarely have time to themselves. That is the bad. Your relationship is so close with your child, that you affect each other greatly (like a married couple). When your child has a bad day, you have a bad day, and vice versa. There have been so many mornings where I wake up, already annoyed with the world because I had a rough night, and I unleash my grumpiness on the children. I'm impatient with the littlest things. I say things I regret later.

And that's the ugly.

But there is the good!

The good for homeschoolers is having that close relationship. If my child went to school, came home with homework, and had extracurricular activities, I would be frustrated with how little time I have to be with my child. I already feel that way about my husband (and he's working to support us, so I can't complain).

The other good is that parenting is very humbling (if you allow it to be). You're unsure of yourself, you have to admit to your child (and to yourself) that you don't know everything, and there is no guarantee of a reward at the end of the day. And, when you have 'one of those days', you learn to get down, apologize to your child, and ask for forgiveness. Oftentimes, as I am teaching my children to be more Godly, I see the same faults in me. The good is not only for your child, but for you, because God is shaping you as you are shaping your child.

At the end of a hard day, I'm still grateful for the moments I had with my children. I tuck them into bed and reassure them of my love. Any divide between us is talked over and patched up, so we can start the new day together, afresh. 

Then I do the same with my Father. He tucks me in and reassures me of His love. We talk about the times in the day when I was unkind, impatient, or selfish, and I ask for forgiveness. His mercies are new every morning!